Thirty Minutes Shy

by Esle Ynopemos


30: Letter From a Coward [Sad]

((Prompt: Daddy's little girl.))

To my dearest daughter, Fluttershy:

One of the things that has kept me from writing this letter is that I don't know how I should start. Should I ask you how you're doing? Would that even mean anything, coming from me? Maybe I should start by telling you that I'm sorry? Sorry for not being there, for leaving your mother to raise you by herself? Sorry for all the birthdays I never saw, the talks we never had, sorry for the big, father-shaped hole I left in your life?

I am sorry. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I hadn't been such a coward. You deserve much, much better than that. I could go on with all the excuses I've told myself over the years—I wasn't ready to be a father, I would have messed it up worse by staying than by going, etc.—but the simple truth of the matter is that I was afraid. I was afraid, and all I know to do with fear is to run away. I am sorry your father is such a coward.

I saw you in the papers. Saved the world from eternal night. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read about it. I wondered for a while if it was maybe some other Fluttershy, because I couldn't believe anypony related to me could be so brave. But there you were in the picture, with your friends and the Princess. I know I don't have the right to be, but I'm proud of you, Fluttershy. You've grown into an incredible mare.

I'm in the Guard now, myself. Your grandmother would be so proud of me; she always talked about “continuing the family tradition.” A recruiter found me in a bar and talked me into it. I wouldn't have guessed that the Guard needed ponies that were good at running away and hiding, but I guess that makes for a good scout. I spend a lot of time by myself outdoors, and it's nice. Quiet. Except, of course, when I come across an encroaching dragon; then I do what I do best and scamper out of there.

It's ironic, I guess, that I ran away from fatherhood into the safety of fighting dragons and minotaurs. Maybe you'll understand some day how much scarier the one is than the other. I just hope you don't do the same thing I did when that happens.

I'm not in any position to ask you for anything, Fluttershy, but I'm writing this letter because there's something I really need you to do. It's important, and I'll understand if you won't do it for me, but please, do it for yourself.

Don't be me. Be brave and strong, Fluttershy. Stand up for the ponies you love, and don't ever leave them on their own. Give them a shoulder to cry on, a couch to lay down on. Always be there for them, no matter how scared you might get.

Because without the ponies you love, you're all alone. Nothing is scarier than that. Take it from a professional scaredy-pony.

Give your mother a hug, but don't tell her it's from me, or she might not take it. Whatever happens, please know that I love you.

Sincerely,
PFC. Pansy IV