Get shipped, Tia!
Enough is enough. I think it's about time I confronted Lulu about this; she still insists on trying to 'ship' Chrys and I together. This is...Not something she should be doing in her free time, and I would rather not have to put on a charade for her to convince her to leave us alone about it. That, and it's getting a little annoying with her always putting mistletoe above us.
Celestia very gently knocked on Luna's door, and spoke just as softly. "Sister, are you inside? I need to talk to you about something."
"Wow, what a coincidence, I was about to do the very same, Tia! Come on in, it'll be easier to explain when you're inside!"
I have a bad feeling about this. Actually, why is it that when somepony says that line in a book, it always comes true? Writers really need to write that line in same other fashion, it's getting a little too predictable whenever I read something now. Celestia walked into Luna's room, noticing that her sister had a smile on her face as she began shuffling some papers. The fact that her sister even had papers and was working baffled Celestia completely. I thought you didn't have any paperwork today; maybe I came in at a bad time?
"Err. I was under the assumption that you didn't have any work left to do, Lulu. Should I-"
"No, no, it's fine, Tia! Just sit down and we can talk; this isn't much anyway."
There was an uneasy feeling in the back of Celestia's mind as she sat down across from her sister, wondering what those papers were for. "Now, Lulu, I need to talk to you abou-"
Luna interrupted her sister with a chirp. "Shipping!"
"...Pardon?"
"Shipping, Tia!" Luna smiled as she brought out a toy boat, complete with two miniatures of Celestia and Chrysalis on it. "You two need to ship away! There's no other reason why you're here; you want to discuss the possibilities and ways on how you and Chrys can ship away, happily ever after!"
Chrys told me that Lulu was a little loopy...I didn't think it would be this bad, though! "Erm...Do tell. Anyway, Lulu..."
"No! You do not stop the shipping train!"
"...Isn't that a boat, though?"
"Details, details, just get on the boat-train thingeramajiggy!"
The confusion; it hurts. I think I'm starting to understand Twilight's frustration whenever she writes about the one called Pinkie Pie. At least, I think Luna's getting as confusing as Pinkie Pie. "Now, Lulu, while I did want to talk about this 'shipping'..."
"Get shipped, Tia!" Luna's eyes widened and her grin only seemed to grow larger, and Celestia groaned upon realizing that she said the wrong choice of words. "Finally, you've accepted the fact that you need to be shipped with Chrys and are willing to help me! It's been driving me crazy how you two haven't hooked up together yet!"
You're crazy. I'm crazy. We're all crazy. Mostly you, though, and I will eradicate any thoughts of this 'shipping' once I'm through with you. "That's what I want to talk with you about, I-"
"Good, I wanted to talk with you about that as well! I have several hundred thousand ways to ship you two together, ranging from a simple kiss under the mistletoe to skydiving to your doom together!" Luna tossed a piece of paper at her sister, which, now that Celestia saw clearly, was a plan outlining how to get the two 'shipped' while skydiving. In the...Ocean. Literally, in the ocean. With Twilight piloting a boat-train thingeramajiggy and the rest of her friends as the crew.
...Other than the fact that this plan might have actually worked, I don't think I'd feel very safe skydiving in the ocean in a boat-train thingeramajiggy piloted by Twilight and her friends. "I...No, Lulu! That's not what I want to talk with you about!"
Luna huffed, and levitated the piece of paper back over to her while giving her sister another piece. "Then do you mean to talk about what you two will do after getting shipped?"
"Listen, Lulu, I was thinking that-"
"Why, you two would get married, of course!"
I don't even... "No! Lulu, I was thinking that maybe you're doing something that neither of us want a part in! I, DON'T, WANT, TO, GET, SHIPPED." Silence reigned over the two sisters as Luna stared at her sister with wide, confused, and hurt eyes. I'm so, so sorry, Lulu...I know you wanted this to work, but it's just not happening. Neither alicorn so much do anything more as breathe until Celestia sneezed. As if a switch had been thrown, Luna smashed her head through the table, and groaned. Quickly, Celestia moved so fast to her sister's side that it was almost like she teleported to her, and gently patted her back as Luna finally accepted that she couldn't ship them together.
"Shh, Lulu, I know you're upset, but that's just the truth; neither of us want to get shipped together."
"I thought...I was just trying to make you happy with somepony special, Tia! You yourself said you've never had somepony special in your life, so I thought Chrys would be perfect for you!"
"That's not true." Luna lifted her head up, with a surprised look was on her face, and Celestia gently placed a hoof on her sister's mouth, silencing whatever she was going to say next. "I do have a very special pony in my life. Multiple ponies, in fact. All of Equestria. You. Chrys. Caddy. Moonie, to an extent; you're all very special to me, just not in a romantic way. Who knows? Maybe I will fall in love with Chrys someday; maybe it'll be Moonie, as unlikely as that sounds. The point is, dearest Lulu, I already feel special, and no, it's not because I can sneeze and immediately get hoofed over about twenty tissues. It's not because I'm on a golden throne that hurts my rump to sit on with a straight face, and it's definitely not because of the title I hold. Or the paperwork...You get what I mean. It's because of the fact that I make a lot of ponies happy with what I do for them, and that's all I need, the love and thanks of the ponies."
As Celestia removed her hoof from Luna's mouth, the lunar alicorn sniffed, and gave her sister a smile before hugging her sister tightly. "Okay, Tia...I'll stop trying to ship you two together...And you sounded like Chrys a little at the end."
"That's because I am Chrys, duh."
"W-What?!" Luna recoiled as if she was struck, and Celestia laughed as she bopped her sister on the nose.
"Gotcha."
Luna promptly broke out from the hug with her sister, and crossed her hooves in front of her chest. "Hmph...I really wish you two got together, though."
"I thank you for your effort to do so, unneeded as it was, Lulu. I'll see you later." Luna watched as her sister made her farewell before walking off, leaving Luna with a table with her head imprint on it. The smile on Luna's face vanished immediately once Celestia had left the room, and she smashed her head against the table again.
Actually, I didn't really care if you two suddenly got shipped together, I'm upset that I lost my bet with Caddy. Now I owe her a slurpee, and I have to watch her drink it in a transparent crystal cup...