"Daddy, where are we going?"
I looked down at the little girl walking by my side. She was staring up at me with her large violet eyes. I smiled down at her. "We're going some place safe."
"To get away from the scary people, right?" I ruffled her hair.
"That's right, sweetie. They want to hurt you, but I'm not going to let them."
She smiled at me widely, and held my hand. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, sweetie." With that, we continued walking down the broken road towards safety.
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I opened my eyes, but immediately shut them as light burned my retinas. I rubbed my throbbing temples as I groaned. "Fucking nightmares. They hurt my head so much. I wish I had drunk that vodka."
I heard several gasps behind me. I reluctantly sat myself up and opened my eyes again. I was back in the dining hall, all of the doors glowing softly. A brief look around revealed that there were several dozen ponies scattered around. Nobles, servants and guards were all huddling together for support, social status forgotten. I turned to look behind me and saw Celestia standing with the girls. She was illuminating the room with her horn. All of them were staring at me, slack jawed. I waved half-heartedly. They just kept staring.
"What? Did I talk in my sleep? If I did, forget everything you heard." Fluttershy rushed over and hugged me tightly as she started sobbing.
"J-J-JD! I-I'm sorry I m-made you feel b-bad! I-I didn't mean to be so f-frightened! A-and thinking that t-the last time I saw you I m-made you sad I'm s-so sorryeeehaaaah!"
I nodded and rubbed her back, completely and utterly lost. "Someone mind translating?" They all closed their mouths and look at each other awkwardly.
Celestia spoke up, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof. "The thing is....you died."
Fluttershy sobbed a little harder at that. I looked down at myself. "I seem to have gotten better."
"Indeed." She came over and shifted the reluctant Fluttershy off of me, before placing an ear to my chest. "Your heart is beating again." She lifted her head up and looked at me without expression. "Do you know why this is?"
Twilight spoke up. "We don't know why, Princess, but James seems to have some kind of healing factor. His arrival to our world was....quite rough. Fluttershy and I were about to administer emergency first aid, but his wounds started healing by themselves."
"I believe he mentioned being from another world before. How exactly did he arrive?"
"A crack in reality." I said, annoyed at them talking about me in the third person. She raised her eye brow. I shrugged. "Discord said that I was from another reality, and the thing that appeared in front of me was like a crack through the air. Can't think of any other way to describe it. In fact that's probably how the-" I opened my eyes wide. I leaped up and grabbed Celestia by the shoulders, nearly head butting her and/or impaling my face on her horn. "Where is it?! Where did it go?!"
She was surprised by my sudden actions, and blinked a few times in confusion. "What?"
"The thing that touched our face! That was what killed us! What happened after we passed out?!" I was becoming slightly hysterical, shaking the princess back and forward.
She placed a hoof on my face and pushed me off of her, before answering, slightly irritated. "I didn't see anything. If you recall, it was pitch black." She narrowed her eyes. "But I heard something. After my light went out I felt...something on the balcony with us. A moment later I heard a shriek. I brought my light back, and the presence vanished, and you had fallen to the floor."
I tilted my head in confusion. "You didn't see her? No, I suppose she only showed herself to us. But why?" She opened her mouth to answer, but I held an index finger up to her face." No time. Quick, did you see anyone acting overly strange on your way here? As in, trying to kill you, strange?"
She raised an eyebrow. "No. In fact, I didn't see anypony at all. All the guards in the tower were away from their posts. I found groups of ponies hiding in their rooms while I was searching for Twilight and her friends to inform them of your...demise. I brought them with me here. I explained what I knew and then you...woke up."
I turned around and started pacing. "Okay, that's not as bad as I thought. Still bad though. Those guards that were missing are probably dead now, but we'll worry about that later. For now we need to make sure it can't leave the palace, if it hasn't already." I turned to Celestia. "You raise the sun, right?" She nodded. "Good. Do it."
Everyone looked at me incredulously. "You can't be serious." Twilight said.
I looked at her confused. "Why not?"
"It's the middle of the night! Raising the sun now would disrupt the ecosystem of the entire planet!"
"If we don't raise the sun soon, then everyone in the world will die." She opened her mouth to retort, but snapped it shut as her brain processed what I had said, eyes widening. I kneeled down and grabbed her shoulders "Look, we don't have time to explain, you just need to to trust us! If it isn't stopped soon, then there'll be nothing we can do!"
Celestia spoke from above us. "We may have not met on the best of terms, but I trust you now. If you say that raising the sun will protect my subjects, then I have no objections. Unfortunately, it isn't that simple."
"Of course it isn't. That would be too easy. We wouldn't want that, now would we?" If sarcasm was a source of energy, I'd be set for life. Or kidnapped. Or killed to keep oil dependency up.
"In order to raise the sun, my sister must also lower the moon at the same time. When I was forced to seal Nightmare Moon away, the Elements granted me power to control the moon, but it only lasted until the seal broke. When she was freed a few years ago, I lost the ability to control it."
"Wait, didn't unicorns used to control the sun and moon once? Twilight's pretty good with magic, apparently. Maybe she could do it!"
She shook her head. "No, when we used the Elements, they linked us each to the sun and the moon. We had to always be in harmony in order to change from night to day. That is why Nightmare Moon was able to keep the moon up. Only those with more magical power than both of us combined would be able to move them, and the only one with that much power is Discord."
"Where is that bastard anyway?"
Celestia grit her teeth. "I don't know. I haven't seen him since his paper bird 'accident'. I will be having a serious talk with him when I find him."
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MEANWHILE, ON A TROPICAL ISLAND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET
Discord stretched out on his cloud hammock on top of the large pyramid made out of sand that took up the entire landmass of the island. "This is the life. No ponies, no rules, no Celestia threatening to seal me in stone for every little prank I pull on her. I should disappear mysteriously during times of crisis more often." He ate a slice of pavement (Rocky Road flavour) as he watched the sharks surf up and along the massive tidal wave of orange soda that hung perpetually in the air just off shore.
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"Well if we can't raise the sun without Luna, why don't we just go get her?" Pinkie spoke up. I did a double take when I realised that she was the one who said it.
"That...that is a good point, Pinkie. If fact, she's probably in danger, so we'd probably get going." They all stepped forward. "And by 'we', I mean me and Twilight. It's way too dangerous for you all to go."
"What?!" Rainbow Dash flew up in front of me. "Oh no you don't! We aren't letting our friend go off alone with a whack-job who won't even tell us what's going on!"
I held my hand to my mouth, pretending to look embarrassed. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know you could use magic. Hey Celestia, did you know that Rainbow Dash here is an alicorn? Who knew? I guess when this is all over you'd better have a little coronation ceremony for the new 'princess'." Rainbow growled at me, but I ignored it and brought my face closer to hers. "We'll be going up against dangerous enemies out there. You might be able to fly and move faster than them, but you can't go faster than the Dark Preence. The instant you step out of the light, it will grab you, and it will consume you! It will use your body to try and kill the rest of us! Is that what you want?!" Her brash attitude washed away in an instant.
I turned to Celestia. "I assume you want to join us too, but your light is the only thing keeping these ponies safe. If you leave, they'll have no chance. Not to mention what might happen if the Dark Presence gets a hold of you. Destroy the sun, probably." She nodded.
"I will remove the barriers on the doorway that leads to the council chambers. Good luck, and please, find my sister."
"Wait!" Twilight yelled before Celestia could do anything. "What am I supposed to do?! The only combat spell I know is basically just an advanced tranquilliser!"
I rubbed my chin. "Yeah, that probably won't work. But you won't have to worry combat spells. All you have to do is create light."
"That's it?" I ruffled her mane, to her annoyance.
"That's it."
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs as we ran as fast as she could handle while keeping her circle of light on us. Behind us were a dozen ponies shrouded in shadows, chasing as close as they could get without entering the light. Fortunately, her spell was powerful enough that entering the light destroyed them instantly, as we found out when one jumped out at us from a corner. Unfortunately, the unicorns among them were able to use their magic to shoot rays of magic at us. And the pegasi were trying to drop things on our heads from the high ceilings. All whilst the Dark Presence flung various weapons and statues and suits of armor at us.
It wasn't nearly as fun as the game made it out to be. There were no doors in our way, though. Whoever designed this place centuries ago had decided to put archways everywhere except for private rooms and dining halls. Twilight said it was so that if someone had an important message for anyone in the palace the only door they'd have to worry about would be the door of the pony receiving the message. Seemed a bit stupid to me, but I didn't complain. Whatever kept us un-Taken was a blessing to me.
'Are you sure we can't just break their necks?'
'I'm pretty sure that if a sword to the face doesn't instantly kill something, a broken neck won't even bother it.'
'What about a sledgehammer?'
'We haven't got a sledge hammer.'
'I think I have dynamite stored away in one of our orifices.'
'I know that you don't, but the fact that you thought of that terrifies me more than you usually do.'
'Why thank you.'
My inner dialogue was interrupted by Twilight stumbling for a moment. "James, I don't think I can keep this up much longer!"
"It's only been five minutes!"
"You try to concentrate enough to cast a spell that creates sunlight, while running for your life, while trying to find your way through a dark castle!"
"Fine!" I scooped her up in my arms, causing an "Eep!" to escape her. I ran as hard as I could while keeping a hold of her. Ponies are not as small as you'd think. The top of Twilight's head only came up to about my waist, but if she stood on her hind-legs she'd be around shoulder height. Also, pony heads are quite large. Not disproportionally so, but enough to tip the scales away from her rear end as I held her just below the forelegs and just above the hindlegs. "Which way do I go?!" I yelled to her.
"Take a left at the next hallway!" I reached the hallway and turned sharply, barely managing to avoid a blast of magic. The hallway was several hundred feet long.
"Jesus Christ, how big is this place?!"
"Don't worry, there's a door to the right up near the end! That's where the council meets!"
"Yes, why keep everything nice and close together?! It's not like the fate of the world would ever depend on getting from one place to another quickly! That's just insane!"
"Oh just shut up and run!"
I obliged and continued my sprint. "I am so glad I work on my cardio! These guys are much worse than cops!"
"Why are we yelling?!"
"Why AREN'T we yelling louder?!"
"What?! Why?!"
"Look!" I nodded towards a large pillar that had large cracks all along it.
"That's a support beam! If that breaks it'll block off the door to the council!" The shades behind us stopped attacking and started to fire at the pillar.
"You know, that was probably your fault!"
"Oh shut up!"
I ran as hard as I could, but I couldn't go any faster without breaking something. Luckily, I knew someone close at hand who didn't care about that. "WRATH!"
"What?!"
'Fine, but you still owe me some necks to snap!' I didn't argue as I let him take over, and our speed almost tripled. I could heard a large amount of snaps coming from our legs, and I could only imagine how bad they must feel. We sped past the pillar and got to the door, which Wrath promptly kicked off its hinges. I'm not sure, but I think I saw our leg bend somewhere in the middle of the shin as he lowered it. Still glad I can't feel anything when he's in control.
He walked us in quickly, and found Princess Luna behind a force field, surrounded by almost three dozen Taken. Who were quickly joined by the ones from outside, blocking the only escape route. Not that that mattered, though, considering the pillar then collapsed and trapped us inside.
"And you guys were worried that this would be dangerous."
'Shut up and get to Luna!'
He ran us straight through the crowd of Taken. Judging from the way he swerved into a few of them, he was doing it specifically to kill them. There were still a large number of the shrouded ponies left when we got to Luna.
"Hey there. Fancy meeting you on a night like this."
"Hurry up and get in here!" Her force field wavered in front of us slightly, allowing us to step forward through it. It solidified as soon as we were in, bouncing off a leaping Taken. "Thank the heavens you are here! What is happening? Why are the council members attacking us? They don't seem to be able to get through, but I can't hold them back forever!"
"They're being controlled by something called the Dark Presence!" Twilight said as she leapt from my arms and rushed to Luna's side. "James says that if you let Celestia raises the sun, it'll turn them back to normal!"
"What? He never said that."
'I didn't say that, actually.'
'Wait, really? Fuck.'
Twilight spun around to look at us. "What do you mean? You said that raising the sun would stop all this!"
"Well, yeah, for a little bit! Look, just shut up and focus! In case you hadn't noticed, theses things are currently trying to kill us, and this is a conversation that is best had anywhere but the middle of combat!" Twilight stepped backwards a little, shocked at "my" outburst.
Wrath turned and addressed Luna. "Alright Moonbutt, apparently you need to lower the moon while Sunbutt raises the sun. Right?" She narrowed her eyes at the nicknames, but nodded. "Okay, I'll assume you can't do that and keep this force field up at the same time. So I'm gonna go and entertain the guests. Starbutt, you try to keep a force field up and protect her. Got it?"
Twilight was frowning, obviously still upset, but nodded regardless. "Are you sure you'll be all right?"
He shrugged. "Eh. Maybe, maybe not. I didn't stay dead the last time it killed me." He turned and walked towards the dark blue force field. Luna dropped it and he quickly stepped out before Twilight replaced it with her lavender bubble, Luna's horn started to glow brighter. Wrath cracked our knuckles as he grinned evilly out towards the Taken ponies. "Alright you fuckers, lets play!"
He took a single step before he was distracted by the sight of the rising sun in the window. The light poured in and hit the shades, disintegrating them into specks of light. He spun around to find that the force field was gone. Luna shrugged. "It doesn't take as long as you'd think to lower the moon."
Wrath crossed our arms. "Well this is total bullshit. I was hoping to kill at least a few of them. I'm going back to bed."
'Psychotic limbo is not a bed, Wrath.' He then forced me into control. Our legs were still broken. I fell to the ground screaming.
"He is quite a strange individual, isn't he?" Luna asked Twilight.
"Strange isn't necessarily a bad thing." She replied as I mimed running while lying on my side, somehow spinning in a circle despite not causing enough friction to move. "Most of the time."
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A quarter of an hour later, my legs had healed and the rest of the group had joined us, the sun now blazing down from the highest point in he sky. "What do you mean it isn't gone?!" Unfortunately, the sun's fury was right there in the room with us. "I thought you said that raising the sun would stop the Dark Presence!"
"Jeez, calm down! The sun doesn't destroy it, but it does stop it from hurting anyone else. Why are you so angry?"
"I'm angry because more than half of the castle is missing! What if they've been taken hostage?" I winced. That was worse than I thought.
"Okay, okay. I'll try to explain.You know how I'm from another reality? Well so is this thing. In my reality, it was part of a popular story, which is why I know so much about it. What it is, basically, is an evil malevolent being that exists as darkness and is intent on becoming all powerful. With me so far?" She nodded impatiently. "Okay. In it's 'origin world' it resides at the bottom of a very deep lake that has the power to make pieces of art a reality."
"Wait, how is the lake magic?" Twilight asked. "I thought you said the human world didn't have magic."
"Of course you'd pick the question I don't know the answer to. It's never explained how it became magic, but that isn't important. The Dark Presence is aware of the power of the lake. In fact, the dark place that it came from was probably brought into being by tribal religious stories. After they sealed it back in the bottom of the lake, it stayed there for centuries. A town was even built near it, but no true artists showed up. Then one day a writer moved in with his wife. In a cabin built on an island right in the middle of the lake. They were happy, for a while.
"Then his wife drowned while swimming in the lake. Obviously he was quite depressed. To ease the pain, he wrote a poem depicting his wife coming back to him. The magic of the lake made it happen."
Rarity sighed dreamily. "Oh, how romantic! A couple in love torn apart by death, only to be reunited through magic! It is so lovely!" She was actually swooning. I almost felt bad about crushing her child-like fantasy. Almost.
"Guess again," I chuckled darkly. "The Dark Presence saw this as an opportunity to escape, so it took it. It wore the woman's body like a suit." That earned grimaces from everyone. "He was obviously extremely happy that she was back. Who wouldn't be? 'She' urged him to write a novel. It was trying to get him to make it unstoppable using the power of the lake. After a little while, he saw that something was wrong, but it was too late. He had already written it free. So he tied 'her' up, and continued writing. He made it so that events would occur that prevented it from becoming free. He set it in motion so that another writer would come along, and that he'd have the opportunity to stop the Dark Presence for good."
"If he wrote it so that another writer would destroy it, then why is it here?" Luna asked.
"Same way I got here. A hole broke open in reality, and brought it here. There's probably some local phenomenon that's causing them."
"How do we destroy it?" Celestia had her serious face on. Or was it her angry face? It is very hard to tell sometimes.
"Well the writer had made it so that the new guy would find some weird lighter from his childhood. The power of the lake had turned it into a weapon that could destroy the Dark Presence. So all we need is an incredibly powerful magic artefact that is made purely for the use of getting rid of evil. And let me guess, you guys have one of those, don't you?"
Pinkie nodded her head frantically. "Yep! The Elements of Harmony!"
"Ah, those MacGuffins. Where are they?"
"They're back at the library in a glass case." Twilight said. "We decided to keep them there in case there were any....emergencies." For some reason Fluttershy became very interested with the floor, and decided to stare at it from behind her mane. "But don't worry, I'll go get them!" Her horn shone a bright purple and in a flash she was gone.
'Huh. She exploded.'
'I like her a lot more all of a sudden.'
She reappeared a few moments later wearing a saddlebag. "I've got them here."
"Teleportation. I'll have to remember to freak out about that later. For now, pass the Elements to me." She levitated 5 necklaces and a tiara out of her bag. They each had a jewel the shape of a Cutie Mark. I grabbed them and placed two necklaces on each arm, one around my neck, and placed the tiara on my head. I rested fists against my hips in a heroic pose. "I am now ready for battle!" They all started laughing at me. Even Fluttershy. "Oh shut up. I'm gonna go find the thing and kill it. Hurry up and tell me how to work these thing!"
"Twilight giggled as she used her magic to take my battle armor off of me. "They don't work like that, James. The Elements are each connected to one of us." She gestured at her friends. She gave each of them a necklace. "Applejack is the Element of Honesty, Rainbow Dash is the Element of Loyalty, Pinkie Pie is the Element of Laughter, Rarity is the Element of Generosity, Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness, and I'm the Element of Magic." She lifted the tiara and placed it her head. "Besides, you need the magic of friendship in order to activate them. Didn't you say you don't have any friends?" She smirked at me.
I crossed my arms and frowned. "Oh stop rubbing it in. Also, you guys can't even get close to the Dark Presence otherwise it'll posses you."
Celestia looked at me. "Is that what happened to the missing ponies? They're being possessed by this entity?"
I rubbed my chin. "Well they WERE. But most of them were probably destroyed when you rose the sun, so I wouldn't worry about any surprise attacks."
Celestia's face filled with rage. "WHAT?!" The force of her shout actually shook the room. It was really fucking loud. She noticed all of us mincing, thankfully, and brought her volume down a couple thousand decibels. "What do you mean 'destroyed'?"
"When someone or something is possessed by the Dark Presence, they are made invulnerable to attacks, but only as long as they're in the dark. If you shine light on them, it will weaken the darkness and make them vulnerable to attack, but if the light is strong enough they'll simply disintegrate or something."
Twilight spoke up. "Wait, so when they went into my light earlier....they were destroyed? I-I killed ponies?!" Her eyes shrunk as realisation sunk in and she started hyperventilating. Her friends gathered around her to try to help her calm down.
"Well, yes and no. You did destroy them, yes, but you didn't kill anyone." Her breathing slowed as she focused on me again. "When the Dark Presence turns someone into a Taken, it doesn't just TAKE them. It consumes them. Destroys the part of them that makes them who they are, turning them into a dark husk that it can use to attack others. If anything, we did them a favour."
Twilight calmed down some, but still stammered when she spoke. "S-so those ponies we..." She couldn't bring herself to say it again.
"They were already dead. Basically just high functioning zombies. I'm just glad it didn't send any ravens after us, those are a bitch and a half to deal with."
"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Celestia asked, but it was obviously for the sake of the others. She's too smart to not be able to put it together.
"You know why. You'd have all refused to fight them if you thought that they could be saved, and you definitely wouldn't have raised the sun if you knew it would destroy them." She furrowed her brow, but reluctantly nodded, but I was off on a tangent.
"And if you refused to raise the sun, then the Dark Presence would have most likely collapsed the castle on top of us. OR, even worse, they might have gotten control of Luna, and then used her to fight against you. You would refuse to destroy your sister, so it would be able to take control of you, and use your magic to permanently block out the sun. Or even destroy it. You might think of me as crazy or weird, but I do consider the alternatives. Hiding the truth from you was the only way."
Celestia bowed her head. "I apologise for snapping at you. Again."
"Yeah, you've really got to work on that."
She smirked a little. "Yes, but first we ought to come up with a plan."
"I already have one. We raise the moon!" Celestia blinked at me.
"Wow, you really are insane."
"Told ya. But I'm not done. I'm gonna go to the dungeons, and after the moon has been raised, I am going to get it to follow me out to the front of the palace, where you all will be waiting with your jewellery, ready to destroy it."
Luna spoke up. "If we lower the sun, what will keep the Presence from just spreading out past the palace?"
I chuckled. "Don't worry about that, princess. I know a guy who can be very persuasive." I winked at Celestia.
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'This was a horrible plan.'
"Screw you, what do you know?"
'Well, we're currently being chased by an incredibly powerful entity though a pitch black castle, in which we are lost, and when it catches us it will submit us to unimaginable torture.'
'It still technically worked. We made it mad enough that it's completely distracted from trying to take over the world.'
'Yeah, as well as strangle us.'
"Jeez, all I did was tell it the truth. You'd think it'd know by now that it's just the product of a Neanderthals imagination and that I could come up with scarier concepts than it while masturbating. And that if you can't even beat a pretty pony princess then you've got some serious life re-evaluation to do."
'Yeah, but then you made out with it, pulled down our pants and started dry humping it. Even by your standards that....okay it's still pretty tame, but still, she ripped off our testicles.'
"They grew back!"
'Doesn't make it any less horrifying to see your gonads being crushed in someone's hand.'
'I agree. I like my testosterone. Don't do that again.'
"You guys are just jealous that she touched my junk."
'We share the same junk, genius.'
"Oh yeah? Then how about I start touching us then? Oh, that feels so good!"
A wall behind us burst open. "FOUND YOU!" A massive seething wave made out of darkness ran full speed at us.
'We really ought to try to keep our internal dialogues internal.'
The mass of shadows back-handed us and we went smashing through several walls. Thankfully, Ataxia was even less bothered by pain than Wrath, and quickly hopped back to our feet. He looked around. "Oh hey, the throne room. That's awfully convenient." He ran outside to where the girls were waiting with the Elements.
"James! Did you manage to get it to follow you?"
The archway behind me broke away and fell behind the girls as the towering shadowy wave broke outwards. Ataxia shrugged. "Maybe. We'll never know for sure." It formed into Barbara and started breaking every bone it could get it's hands on.
'Huh. Our foot fell off. I think I might pass out.'
'You are such a pussy.'
Our viscous beating was interrupted by a bright light, causing the Dark Presence to screech in pain as it dropped us. We looked over at the girls. Their eyes were glowing, and they were levitating. The light grew brighter until a rainbow suddenly shot out of the Elements. A fucking rainbow. It did the job though, so I couldn't complain. It hit the form of Barbara Jagger square in the chest, where her heart used to be, and it's entire body started glowing, before it exploded, throwing me forwards.
I looked back and found the girls all looking at me with worried expressions on their faces. I took back control before Ataxia could say anything. "What are you looking at? Something on my face?" As soon as I said that, everything was pain. I lifted my hand to my face. All of the bones in it were broken. Also, it felt like half my face was smashed in. The rest of my body was in pretty poor shape too. As in, half gone. "Oh. That." I chuckled for a moment before blacking out.
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NEXT TIME: PASSING OUT IS MAGIC