—
—
"Just… wow. Thanks, all of you. I never expected to come back to something like this. Seriously, thank you."
Pinkie, smelling of sugar-encrusted sugar with extra sugar on top, shoved her face into mine. "I'm so glad you like it! We worked so hard to get everything set up in time, and I finally got to throw you your party! We have cake and games and more cake and it's going to be so much fun!" Her excitement blew mine out of the water and into orbit.
"Is this the entire pack?" There’d never been so many of them in one place. A few waved back as I looked around my new home, unable to see even the walls behind the hulking figures. Were those nametags? There went my excuse.
"Except the ones on patrol, but don't worry, I made an extra batch of cupcakes just for them." She halted midair and frowned. "If it weren't for those… thingies, everydog could be here." Pinkie's momentum picked up again, and she beamed. "Well, what are you just standing there for? Let's party!"
Pinkie had taught nearly the entire pack what a party was. She didn't believe their usual revelry could be accurately called a party. A get-together maybe, but not a party. The pack was divided between enjoying the party and being unsure of what to think of it, but none openly disliked it.
As they led—dragged—me through the crowd, a barrage of paws fell upon my back, accompanied by congratulations Ponyville probably heard. My spine would still be feeling the goodwill come morning.
Pin the Tail on the Dog made me chuckle, although I wasn't sure if it was because of the game itself or the flailing, blindfolded diamond dog. Snagging a drink from the refreshment table, I coughed it up when turned out to be rock ale. My liver twinged as the rest of the mug went down. Why? Endurance training, that's why.
My eyes swept across the crowd, and I realized they were all genuinely content, if not outright happy. "Are we really doing that much better than Rover?"
A loud "Yes!" shook the building, followed by a round of laughter.
The event blurred as the day went on. Drinks were drank, cupcakes were nommed, and I was allowed to witness the hilarious tragedy that was diamond dog karaoke. Vinyl Scratch and her brother showed up just as the lowering sun turned a sapphire sky to an amber one.
The ominous feeling brought by the previous nights was absent, and we knew we’d have at least one night as it should have been. Even so, we weren't quite ready to abandon the safety of the lights.
Tall Order's curiosity led to a sampling of rock ale resulting in him being incapacitated for an hour, but he rejoined the party with a dopey grin and nothing but compliments for the potent beverage. Somehow, he’d learned Spot was behind the majority of brewing, and he struck up a conversation in an attempt to obtain a supply for his bar. The diamond dog looked unsure at the prospect of being a business partner.
Just as you'll find life wherever there’s water, you'll find music wherever Vinyl is. She did her 'thang' from a turntable Pinkie set up, and it wasn't there five minutes prior. A few songs in, the dogs clutched their ears and howled in pain after a high-pitched crescendo. After the faux pas, she took a break to figure out which of her music was diamond-dog friendly.
Diamond dogs can party for a long time. The sun had set, the stars had come out, and they still drank and chatted like the party had just started. I’d managed to find and sneak out the back door to catch a peek at an actual Equestrian evening.
The night sky was breathtaking. Thousands of twinkling stars hung overhead, and a band of brilliance draped across the heavens like a ceremonial sash. The light from the tiny lantern did nothing to impede my view. It was well worth the wait.
"Do you think it's safe to be out here? It's not like we won." Dave sighed and leaned heavily against the wall. Pinkie had prepared a batch of imaginary baked goods for him, so he hadn't felt left out of too many festivities. As much as we wanted to know how she’d pulled it off, it was Pinkie Pie we were talking about.
Dave was silent as I stared skywards. "I think the normal night is too bright, they need that super dark junk. Plus, it'll be harder for them to sneak up now. To be honest, I really just wanted to see the stars."
He let out an impressed whistle. "They really are something, aren't they? Damn, Luna knows her stuff."
We sat in companionable silence. Well, as silent as possible with the party’s constant thumping. It made for killer ambiance though—I'd take bass beats over crickets any day.
"You enjoying the party at least? Pinks left a note under my hat to tell me about it. I mean, come on, what the hell is up with that?" He laughed nervously and checked his hat and pockets, flicking the party favor he found aside with an annoyed, yet amused, grunt. "Of course."
"Pfft, of course I love it. Got friends, got a new pad, and we got the baddies on the ropes hopefully. Things are looking up."
"Until you regain enough mental stability that I cease to exist." We both laughed at that one.
"Hey Dave?" I quietly said a few minutes after our chuckling died down.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"No problem, kid." We shared a friendly smile and returned to stargazing.
The door slammed open, causing the two of us to jump. Vinyl’s mane was more disheveled than usual as she poked her head out, grinning when she found me. "Aha! There you are." Vinyl shouted back to the room, "Found her! She's just taking a breather."
"Well get her back in here! Wouldn't be any fun to start the game without her!" Pinkie laughed as the building shook with agreement and encouragement.
"You heard her, Gears. Come on." She happily beckoned for me to return to the warm, friendly haze of the party. Alcohol may have been present, but none of them were overdoing it. None were past tipsy, despite the amount of ale some of them had managed to slam back.
Pinkie Pie, Tall Order, and about a dozen diamond dogs crowded around a table, nursing mugs with varying levels of fluid. A blue-and-white-striped tie wrapped around Pinkie's head like a warrior's headband, the free ends dangling as she gestured us to our seats. Other than the two spots left open, there wasn’t room for a hoof between the dogs. Pinkie's grin changed to a mischievous smirk as she reached under her chair.
Glass met wood with a clatter as Pinkie slammed the dark bottle onto my unfortunate table. "Alright, fillies. Who's up for some more fun and games?"
A drinking game with Pinkie Pie? No friggin' way was I going to pass this up! It was going to be awesome!
——
"This is not awesome." The morning sun struck me with a headache that felt like a moose tap-dancing on my skull. Rolling over to get back on my hooves, I fell off the mostly empty refreshment table and bounced off a snoozing diamond dog with a half-hearted groan and an apology. He barely grunted in acknowledgement.
A few pack members were spread around the room in various positions of questionable comfort, a few of which would make greatly amusing blackmail material if I had a camera. The place was much cleaner than expected. Mostly empty drinks dotted the room and its mismatched furniture—some built for ponies and others for diamond dogs. My mouth was a desert while I crept to kitchen.
Water needed to be pumped to the faucet for it to work. I gingerly sipped a mug of water, trying to ignore the interesting flavors the wood and stone added. A defenseless cupcake sat on the counter. Its end was quick and painless.
After taking advantage of having a bathroom, I navigated the maze of unconscious bodies. The bag from Canterlot rested near the door. The stone felt warm, even through the canvas.
The bruises on my back crying out louder than everything else, my body protested against last night’s shenanigans with every step down into the earth. Fortunately, the cool, slightly damp air of the caves was more lenient than the sun, so I didn't feel like complete crap. Maybe about eighty-percent crap.
The forge’s oppressive heat didn’t help the hangover, but I steeled my resolve and pushed my way towards the exhausted smith. Even though he was about to fall over, his swings didn't falter.
"Oh, hello Beta." He drawled as he noticed me. He lifted the chunk of metal with a pair of tongs, nodded in satisfaction and quenched it in a basin of water. He yawned as a cloud of steam arose from the tub. "Back so soon?"
"Soon? I was gone for a day. You don't look so good, is that why you weren't at the party?"
He blinked twice and shrugged. "Thought party was tomorrow. Guess I been working longer than I thought." Facehooving nearly made me vomit and was promptly added to the list of things not to do while hungover.
"You should really get some sleep, your forge will be still be here when you get up. It looks great, by the way. Is that everything you needed to make on your own? It's looking pretty badass!"
Its new additions made the blazing forge even more intimidating. Unable to resist his usual flourish, Fido had blended form and function seamlessly. Hard angles dominated the structure he worked inside: the maw of a beautifully sculpted wolf head.
The lower jaw went down and around the sides, coming to meet at the very front of the forge, and the rest of the head created a hood of sorts. A runic symbol more ancient-looking than diamond dog script was engraved into each fang. Pillars designed to control the heat's flow flanked the master craftsdog's sculpture.
"That good thing, yes?" He grinned when I nodded. "Yes, all done with forge. Hope First Alphas would approve."
"I'm sure they would. You make me regret taking your spot as Beta less and less each day."
"Good." His chuckle quickly turned into a painfully long yawn. "Finished your pick. Might have forgot to make pony size."
"I'm sure it will be fine. I can build up the strength if necessary." Or I’d make Aloe and Vera incredibly wealthy with all the massages my neck will need. That was the second time I’d thought of all the repeat business they might be getting—I might need to see about possibly striking a deal with them. "Got your inferno crystal while I was in Canterlot."
His hammer sailed through the air and landed with a thunk in its appropriate spot on the rack of tools. Fido clapped his paws together, wringing them excitedly, and nearly crushed my ribs. He released me from the bear hug, and waited for me to fish the coral-colored crystal out of the canvas bag. The stone felt hot in my hooves, just a few degrees shy of burning. He was back at the forge moments later, searching for the best way to install it.
Playing the responsible adult made me uncomfortable, but one of us had to remember the most important lesson of a forge: fire hot. "Hey, you can put it in, but I don't want you smelting anything until after you get some good sleep. Not a nap, sleep." He pitifully whimpered like a puppy who’d stopped being petted. "Sorry, Fido, you've been up for like two days. It's for your own good." The last few words sent shivers down my spine.
“Besides, we have a lot of work ahead of us. We can finally strike back, but we need to be prepared. I need your best, and you can’t do that unless you get some sleep.”
"Yes, Beta. Guess you right. Just so much can do now. Can make lot more crafts for tradesponies. They like my work." He swelled with pride.
"Mayor Mare already sent somepony by?" If I was really Beta of this pack, I needed to start acting like it and pay more attention.
Fido nodded and pointed to one of the tables off to the side, where a large tool and a bulging pouch waited. "Yep. They buy some silver trinkets." He snorted derisively. "Stupid, weak metal. Not know why so valuable."
"Some just like the look I guess. I think silver gets used in mirrors too." My hoof drew back from the head-sized sack—it was real. "Looks like you pulled in quite a bit of profit." Inspecting the moneybag first felt rude, but it practically had it’s own gravitational pull.
"First bits we make. Not even know what to do with them." Fido chuckled, and my spine groaned as he deposited the bag on my back. "All yours, Beta."
It was too much. As nice as any income would have been, there was no way I’d earned that much. The heavy sack jingled as it hit the ground. "I'll take a bit, but not all of it. I'll bring you into town one of these days so you can learn how to shop. I guess it'll also get the townies more used to you guys being around. We can divvy all of it up later at a meeting or something, I want the pack to have a fair say."
He shrugged and yawned. "You're in charge." The gold jingled as he withdrew a pawful and placed in the bag that used to hold the crystal. "Your cut." He cut me off before I could say a single word. "Your cut."
"If you're going to twist my leg about it… But I'm going to be using that pick to do some serious digging. I need to help out around here, and I can't just spend all my time tinkering." I could, but variety’s the spice of life. Or maybe cinnamon. Nutmeg? Paprika, that was it! But variety’s pretty tasty too.
My eyes widened at the work of art Fido had crafted. Fido hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he forgot to size it for ponies. This thing would be unwieldy for Big Macintosh! The head was about as long as my foreleg and comprised of steel, and a thick spike with minimal decorations menacingly jutted to one side.
On the opposite side as a counterweight, a block of blued steel had been engraved with a rune on each face. The handle looked like simple wood, but the way it sat in my mouth told me it had a metal core. It was going to take some practice to use, if the test swing and subsequent crash into a table were any clue.
"It's beautiful, Fido. Thank you." Setting down the well-balanced pick almost felt wrong.
His jowls jiggled as he nodded. "Of course. Make sure strike much earth with it. Don't hurt self though."
"Nah, I'll be fine. Pain's a great teacher anyway."
"If you say so. Anything else, Beta?"
"Nope, off to bed with you. Go on, get." Fido was too heavy to push, but that didn’t stop me.
Fido chuckled as he abruptly moved to the side, sending me sprawling to the ground. "Going. Don't worry."
We walked the same path until the main cavern, where I split off for home to drop the pick off. After all, no sense in carrying something so heavy in my mouth all day.
Only two diamond dogs remained in my home: Balsa, who had dug the tunnel for the rescue team, and Flint, a smokey-furred mutt. It was a little surprising to find “mutt” wasn't considered an insult. It was just another word to them. Dave reappeared as the front door closed behind me.
"Finally sleep off that sugar crash?" I giggled, the dry earth crunching underneath my hooves as I began the familiar walk.
"Nah, just slept in a bit to enjoy my first night off in, well, ever. Looks like you still have all your body parts, so I didn't miss anything interesting. We should have come to this world a lot sooner." He adjusted the brim of his hat to better block the sun.
"Finally warming up to Equestria?" I was glad he was starting to like it. Didn't really want him to be irritable if we were going to be living there from now on.
"You could say that. It helps when I don't try to think about the science behind magic or Pinkie Pie's shenanigans. Especially the latter." He chuckled and smiled, no doubt thinking of the only other pony he could talk with. "Girl can throw a great party though. I thought it'd be like a generic kids party, but she proved me wrong."
"Must be. I wonder if there's a list of all the types of parties she knows. Speaking of lists though, I finally get to cross off 'Have Pinkie Pie Throw a Party' on my Human in Equestria list."
"Your what now?"
"Well, like I said before, I think the more fanfictions something has appeared in, the higher the chance it has of happening. Take the Pinkie Pie party for example. I'm surprised she was able to hold off this long without exploding into a cloud of confetti."
I heard an exasperated sigh. "She’d probably do it too. What else is on your list?"
The mental checklist flashed by. "Well, I didn't arrive in the Everfree, so I don't have to worry about a manticore or timberwolf attack. Doesn't mean it won't show up if I wander in there though. Meeting Celestia and Luna went pretty well, and I didn't have to go through that obnoxious 'oh you lied to us for so long about where you came from. How can we trust you even though it's apparent we wouldn't have believed you if you told us'."
"You actually have that entire thing on your list?"
"Yep. Twilight already freaked out about the new knowledge thing, and we'll be taking care of the world comparison soon enough."
"Anything you're surprised hasn't shown up yet?"
"Haven't been trampled by the Cutie Mark Crusaders yet, or been run over by Scootaloo on her scooter. Ah, shit, haven't met Rarity yet either. She's going to try and make clothes for me, spaz about my appearance, and probably even try to drag me to the spa."
"All you ponies look the same to me." He gave an amused grunt. "Aside from the colors."
"Racist."
"Yeah, yeah. What are you going to do about Rarity? You could just avoid her."
"Nah, the universe never works like that. Somehow, I will meet her. I should strike first and force the meeting, but I really don't want a new set of clothes and I want to have it forced on me even less."
"If you knew anything about fashion, you could distract her with something she hasn’t seen."
I stopped for a moment to think. "That could work… I know just the thing!"
"Care to share?"
"Nah, it's going to be good though." Dave shuddered at my grin. "Just need to stop and get some paper to doodle on. No peeking."
He held up his hands defensively. "Never crossed my mind. Just don’t get too far off track. We don’t know how long it will take for the creatures to reappear, and chances are they’ll be pissed."
“I know we haven’t won yet, but whenever they come, we’ll be ready. I’ll make sure of it.”
——
The door to the boutique slammed open, knocking loose the bell that hung overhead and causing Rarity to jump and ruin her stitching. With a twitching eye, she turned to face me and the badly rolled scroll held in my teeth.
She was opening her mouth—I needed to act fast! "Rarity! Socks!" Although it came out somewhat distorted by the paper.
"What?" Her white fur skipped pink and jumped straight to a red usually reserved for sunburns that required hospitalization.
I sprinted up to her and deposited the scroll on the unfortunate fabric. The speech I’d planned ahead of time went right out the window. "Socks! Ponies look good in socks! The world of hoof fashion needs you! No time to explain further—I need to go!"
"Wait, you can't just..." she trailed off as I disappeared through the door as quickly as I'd entered. "Well, let's see what she was so worked up about she found it necessary to barge in like that." She hemmed and hawed as she looked over the crude diagrams drawn by a pony who very clearly didn't have much experience working with a pencil. While she read, her horn glowed and slowly picked up the mess. She'd need to order a new bell.
Rarity smiled deviously, her anger forgotten. "I believe I could make this work."
On the other side of a barely opened window, I grinned. It was like giving a catnip-laced ball of yarn to a cat.
Somepony behind me cleared their throat and asked why I was spying on Rarity.
“Move along citizen, nothing to see here,” I said. With Rarity occupied, it was time to pay Twilight a visit.