//------------------------------// // Double-Double, Two Pinkies, More Trouble! // Story: DisQord Continuum 2: Friendship is Futile // by ZoidbergIsBestPony //------------------------------// Double-Double, Two Pinkies, More Trouble! U.S.S. Enterprise, Captain Jean-Luc Picard Presiding Captain’s Log, Stardate 50926.8: The U.S.S. Enterprise and U.S.S. Tecumseh have found ourselves in a rather grave situation. After having been contacted by the ponies of Equestria, we’ve learned of a Borg plot to assimilate the scientific basis behind “Unicorn Magic”. If they discover the existence of the Monoceros particle and learn how to manipulate them, there could be drastic consequences for the balance of power in the galaxy. According to Q, the threat posed by the Borg expands beyond their usual primary mission of assimilation and expansion to the invasion and destruction of the Q Continuum itself. The manipulation of the laws of physics could result in the destruction of the entire universe. If we are to believe everything as Q as explained it to us, something which I am not eager to do, then these events have already played out once before in a previous timeline and have resulted in said destruction of the universe. By a random act of a short time-jump one week into the past, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends may have created one last opportunity to stave off destruction. Q has said he was able to contain the contents of this “last week” and allow for the opportunity undo the damage that has supposedly already been done. While confined within the Static-Warp Bubble, these logs may never actually reach anyone from Starfleet. However, I will continue them for as long as I can. Lieutenant Commander Data has shown that Earth and, by extension, Starfleet Headquarters not exist within the confines of the bubble, but other Starfleet vessels patrolling with its range may still be around to assist us. In this regard, I’ve sent acting Captain Hakins aboard the Tecumseh to set out on a recruiting mission. He will attempt to contact any and all available ships that can reach Equestria, before the Borg are supposed to arrive in three days, and are willing to help. With the death of the Borg Queen two hundred years in the past, the remaining Borg may be operating on more of an autonomic impulse, or instincts, rather than under the single conscious direction of a queen. If we are lucky, we may be able to use that to our advantage. Though as a Starfleet captain, I will never rely on luck. We will coordinate our efforts for a defensive perimeter in orbit of Equestria, with a fallback defensive position on the ground with local government forces. “Come on, Pinkie!” Twilight called out from the Transporter pad. Pinkie had never been aboard a spaceship before and was trying to get her eyes to see everything they possibly could, she even tried to pull her eyes out to see more. She succeeded in poking herself in the eyes. “Ow! Be right there!” she yelled back, but continued to veer off toward a sign that read, ‘Jeffries Tube A17. “Why does Jeffrey get his own tube?” she asked, trying to head through the hatch door. Worf quickly blocked her path and guided her back toward the transporter room. He felt like a babysitter for these ponies. Pinkie headed into the room and straight for the transporter console, staring at all the shiny buttons. “Oooh!” she exclaimed. “What does this do?” She reached out, trying to slide the targeting scanner. The transporter chief quickly grabbed her hoof, before any damage could be done. He shook his head as though he were telling a child it was not a toy. “Come along now, Pinkie,” Applejack called to her. With Pinkie joining the other ponies and the Enterprise crew, standing on the transport pads, Picard gave the order: “Energize.” The transporter beam glowed just outside of Ponyville as the landing party materialized. The party included all five ponies, Captain Picard, Lieutenant Commanders LaForge, Worf, and Data, as well as Discord. Before the rest of the team could even get their bearings, Pinkie was off running. “Pinkie! Where are you going?” Twilight yelled out to no avail. In seconds Pinkie Pie became a pink spec in the distance. Pinkie headed straight for the bakery. Inside, Mr. and Mrs. Cake were busy at work putting their finished baked goods out on display. “Hello Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie called out, entering the shop. “Hello Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake answered. “Would you like to sample our latest creation?” In a flash of pink, a salivating pony stood hungrily, two inches away from the baker. “Oooooh! Is that the YUMMY?” Pinkie asked, remembering having tried it last week in the future. “Why, Yes. It is the Yogurt Under a Massive Marshmallow Yam!” Mrs. Cake and her husband grinned at one another, sharing in their accomplishment, “How did you know?” “Oh! Well I guess it just simply looked so yummy, what else would you call it?” Pinkie quickly made up on the spot. “Well, I guess so,” Mrs. Cake nodded smiling. She handed Pinkie a sample on a small plate. Pinkie’s face enveloped the treat so fast, Mrs. Cake had to quickly pull the plate away, fearing Pinkie was going to eat it as well. By the time she managed to pry the plate back, not even Sherlock Hooves would have been able to determine that there had ever been any food on that plate. “Well?” Mrs. Cake inquired. “How was it?” Pinkie looked up at the ceiling scratching her chin in deep thought. “Hmm…” She made a highly critical face, which quickly dashed the Cakes’ dreams, before she replied. “Eh…it was only the most super-incredible-stupendous dessert in all of Equestria! But you know…whatever you think is fine, I’m sure.” “Oh…OH! Thank you Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake clapped her hooves, realizing what Pinkie had actually said. “You’re welcome!” Pinkie said merrily humming as she continued back out of the shop. After a minute, Pinkie came back in the shop and noticed the YUMMY. “Ooh! Is that a new dessert, Mrs. Cake? Can I try?” The Cakes looked at each other in confusion. “But you just tried it a minute ago…” Outside, Future Pinkie continued on over to a low floating cloud with a powder blue pony snoozing away on top of it. “Hey Rainbow Dash!” she called out to her. Rainbow opened her eyes lazily, rolled over until she could make out a pink blur. “Pinkie? … What’s uu…uuuup?” she yawned out. “Oh nothing much. Just your usual time travel-end of the universe-come back to warn her friends-kind of day. Speaking of preventing future injuries, you really should move your cloud over a smidge to the left.” “Uhh…what?” Pinkie pointed her hoof up to the sky. Rainbow looked up just in time to see a box of cake plummeting out of the sky, opening and landing straight onto Rainbow’s face, cake first. Rainbow sat stunned for a moment with two banana slices covering her eyes. Pinkie snorted with laughter. “I tried to warn you!” She continued laughing. “It’s even funnier the second time!” When Rainbow finally snapped back, she shook some of the cake off her face and looked up at the source. A few hundred feet above her was a delivery cart, with a certain cross-eyed, grey mare apologizing red-faced. “How come I didn’t see your Pinkie-Sense go off?” she demanded, turning back to Pinkie Pie. “Silly, my tail did go off; a week today ago!” Rainbow was even more confused. Future Pinkie got up, still chuckling. “I’ll see you later Past-Dash!” she sung, as she continued on her way. She was followed moments later by a second Pinkie Pie, running up shouting. “Rainbow! Twitcha-Twitch! Are you okay?” she called out. Her tail stopped twitching by the time she reached Rainbow Dash as its cause had already happened. Upon seeing the cake covered pony, Past-Pinkie burst out laughing. Rainbow had to do a double-take. “Pinkie, weren’t you just here?” she asked. “You’re the second pony to say that to me today!” said Pinkie. “You don’t suppose that Twilight missed one of your doubles?” “Oh no!-What if she did?-We have to find that Pinkie Pie and send her back to the well!” Pinkie cried. “I’m the really Pinkie!-I can’t go through that again!-You believe me don’t you Rainbow?” she jumped up and grabbed Rainbow’s hoof. “Tell me you believe I’m the real Pinkie Pie!-PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!” Pinkie was kneeling on her hind legs with her front hooves clasped into a begging stance. She looked up at Dash with the biggest sad puppy-dog eyes. “Relax Pinkie, I believe you,” Rainbow consoled. “Let’s find Twilight and get to the bottom of this.” She shook off some more of the cake. What landed on Pinkie disappeared behind a long tongue. “Mmm, cherry!” Pinkie said, bouncing up off the floor. Together, they set out to find Twilight and find out what was going on. Meanwhile, Future-Pinkie had already wandered over to the library and stopped in to see Twilight, who was, as usual, nose-deep in books. “Hey Twilight!” said Pinkie when Twilight answered the door. “Hey Pinkie Pie,” she welcomed. “What can I do for you?” “Well you see I’m actually talking to you from one week in the past, but since this is the past, then this would be the present, but technically its not the present for me so maybe I would be one week behind or ahead of…” “Uhh… Pinkie? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “THERE SHE IS!!!!!” A voice shouted out in the distance. Twilight looked over Pinkie’s shoulder to see Rainbow Dash and another Pinkie Pie headed their way. “Stop that imposter!” Pinkie yelled. Future-Pinkie turned to see herself charging straight into her. The two tumbled until Future-Pinkie was pinned to the ground on her back by the extra-angry Pinkie. She whipped out a wooden cannon ready to fire streamers and balloons straight up the other Pinkie’s nose. “Waiitt! I can explnn!” Future-Pinkie muffled into the barrel of the cannon.” Rainbow Dash flew up to Twilight. “Twilight, we think this may be a mirror-copy from that well Pinkie used.” “Unh-uh!” Future-Pinkie muffled, shaking her head.” “STOP!” another voice shouted out in the distance. Present-Pinkie wouldn’t budge. She was ready to fire. Present-Twilight did look up though and saw Herself running towards them, but she wasn’t alone. Rarity, Applejack, and a second Rainbow Dash were rushing toward them with several others rushing behind. Those others turned out to be the humans from the Enterprise. Present-Twilight lowered Pinkie’s cannon. “Hold up, Pinkie. I don’t think she’s a mirror-copy.” Future-Twilight caught up with them, and Present-Pinkie finally lowered the cannon when she saw two Twilights and two Rainbow Dashes surrounding her. “Did everyone go into the well?” Present-Pinkie inquired, thoroughly confused. “Actually Pinkie, we’re from one week in the future,” Future-Twilight answered. Present-Twilight had to think about that one. “Wait. How can you be from the future? Doesn’t Star Swirl’s time spell only work for a few moments, before sending you back?” “This will take some explaining…” By the time Future-Twilight had finished explaining everything, both Present-Applejack and Present-Rarity and caught up with them, and both Pinkie Pies managed to fall asleep from boredom. They were quickly awoken by sudden screams. “FLUTTERSHY!!!” all of the Future-ponies cried as Present-Fluttershy was the last to catch up to them. They all grabbed her in a tight hug that nearly suffocated her. “What’s going on?” Fluttershy asked in a soft voice. Tears were streaming down all of their eyes. “We know it’s not you, darling, but we’re just so happy that you’re here and that you’re okay,” Rarity replied. When everything had calmed down, and the explanations had finished, two sets of the Mane Six ponies, less one Fluttershy stood outside of the library. Now that everypony was caught up, the time had come to prepare. Discord, who had remained far behind, and oddly quiet, finally approached them. He was greeted by eleven pairs of eyes glaring angrily back at him. He looked away from them with embarrassment. He quickly shook it off and pulled himself together. He lifted his head and looked them all back into their eyes. “What’s done is done. But what is done can also be undone. I will help you in every way I can.” Discord had never sounded like that. Poetic yes; but sullen and helpful, definitely not. The ponies continued to stare at him. It was Present-Pinkie who spoke first. “So, Mr. Discord, if you can make a the whole universe bobble-wobble around to whichever you like, why can’t you do that now and just make the baddies go away before they get here?” Present and Future Twilight looked at Pinkie in surprise. Despite the childish way of saying it, it was a very good question. Discord frowned again. “Alas, I am using the bulk of my powers to hold this universe together. The reason I chose the Draconequus as my form was for its abilities.” “Draconequus?” Picard interrupted. “It’s what they call my little creation. I specifically chose parts from species that had more magical abilities or otherwise superior traits. Anyway, while I remain in this form I can use those abilities that I would have as an actual Draconequus rather than all the power of a Q. I can help you, but this problem is too big for me alone.” “You still haven’t said you’re sorry,” Future-Twilight commented. For a Q, Discord felt angered by such gall as to demand an apology from him. But it was true. He was wrong. His head hung low he mumbled, “Sorry.” “What was that?” Twilight asked him to repeat. “Sorry.” “Come again?” “I’M SORRY!!! ALL RIGHT!!? I’M SORRY!!!!!” Both Twilights were almost willing to accept his apology, but neither was ready to forgive him; especially since the universe still needed to be saved. Picard interrupted, “We need to get to the palace and inform the princess… Princess Celestia, and seek her help,” While the Enterprise crew started to round everypony up for transport, Discord snuck over to Fluttershy. “Can you ever forgive me, my friend?” It was only a whisper, but it reached Fluttershy’s ears just fine. She looked up into his eyes and could see just how sorry he truly was. She nodded, with a small smile. Discord pulled her into a soft hug, if only briefly so nopony else could see.