March 28th
Chrysi has gotten worse. She can hardly move without tumbling over. Sombra is worried as well, and we've been trying to figure out ways to help her. We've been giving her some of our lunches, because she is growing thinner and thinner. It isn't helping.
The doctors have been force-feeding her because they think she is starving herself.
Then it came to me. Duh. I like her. ... love her. She can feed on me. I'll be okay. She will get better. I told Chrysi my idea and she agreed, but she seemed reluctant. She warned me that being fed on was no laughing matter. It can be scarring. I don't care. I'll do anything to save her.
We stood face-to face against the steel bars that divide us and I closed my eyes. At first, it tickled me, I laughed as it tingled through my body. Then it started to hurt. It felt like I was being burned alive from the inside out. I screamed, but the guards couldn't hear. Or they just didn't care. When the burning stopped, my head ached.
That was only the beginning.
Do you now what it feels like to have everything you have ever loved and held close be sucked out of you? Do you know what it is like to have your heart emptied, to feel only sorrow, misery and pain, and then to have a remnant of your happiness tossed back half-heartedly into you? I do.
I collapsed, at Chrysi tried to help me up the best she could. She asked if I was hurt, I said yes, but it was worth it. I feel so empty. She said she was sorry. It's okay. I'll be just fine.
I'm feeling sort of weak right now.... my head...spinning....