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// 09 Memory's Mind Fucking (no better way to describe this) 
// Story: The New Beginning 
// by Dress72 
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	So I went to the royal palace using a parachute, and decided to mess with the first ponies I met. Turns out, the pony I met was Princess Celestia, of whom I constantly referred to as ‘Miss Princess Lady’ and a bit later as ‘Your Royal Miss Princess Lady Mare Pony’. I think I struck a sour cord with her when I made a sex joke, then insisted that it wasn’t. 
“Mr. White Wind, I assure you that your assumptions are incorrect.” Celestia had said
“Hey, I do believe that it was Your Royal Miss Princess Lady Mare Pony that was assuming things. I don’t like to assume things, because assuming makes an ass out of you and me. I don’t know about you, but I personally like being a pegasus, no offence to any donkey out there.”
“That’s it,” I think I finally got her to snap because her voice suddenly changed from gentle to a harsh, scary, loud one, “Take him to the prison.”
“NO, NOT PRISON YOUR ROYAL MISS PRINCESS LADY MARE PONY!!!” I said in a very sarcastic and loud voice, before reverting back to normal, “I demand to see my lawyer! Your Royal Miss Princess Lady Mare Pony, message Twilight Sparkle! I know you can contact her! My informants told me thus!!!” To this, she had no comment, and I was put into prison.
I was later, roughly pulled out of the cell, blindfolded, and brought literally 10 steps to the right of my prison cell, before having my blindfold taken off, and shoved into another room. I could see the cell I had just come from, as I was being shoved into the other room. I found a table and a few chairs in the center of the room, and decided to enact some silly insanity on all the ponies watching me from behind a mirror. Yes, it was an interrogation room. Anyways, I went to the table, found three chairs, proceeded to stack them on top of the table, creating a pyramid out of the four pieces of furnisher, and sat, on air, at one of the ends that the chairs were not at. And just for some extra shits and giggles, I started having a completely normal talk with the chairs I just stacked. 
Ponies are very worrisome creatures. How do I know this you might ask? Simple, two of the unknown number of ponies behind the glass, primarily Princess Celestia, and another pony like her, except for mostly all black, walked in from behind me with a worried expression, to which I used to my advantage.
“Hello Celestia, or should I say Your Royal Miss Princess Lady Mare Pony for short? I don’t think that I have met your sister yet, Y.R.M.P.L.M.P. or You’replump. And before, you say anything, I can assure you, that I am perfectly sane, it is everypony else that is insane. And before you ask how I knew what you were going say, I will tell you that I read it on your face. And before you ask how I knew it was you, and your sister, or how I was able to read your faces, since I have my backs to you, I will ask you this, look in front of me, what do you see? And as to the sister thing, she snickered when I called you that ridiculously long name, which I won’t stop using by the way, and again when I called you You’replump. This indicates a sisterly relationship.”
I watched as their faces changed from worry, to confusion, to awe, to oh-duh, and back to awe. However, I did get another snicker from the dark one when I once again called Celestia plump.
“Stuff like her and I being sisters is common knowledge, preschoolers know that. You know why you are here though, right?” Celestia asked. 
“I thought that the point of an interrogation was to get meaningful answers from the suspect. And if you had contacted Twilight like I told you to, we all wouldn’t be here, and I wouldn’t be messing with your minds by talking to chairs that I stacked on a table for no reason, while sitting, and quite comfortably I might add, on intangible air, while not using magic or my wings. Or if it is just your petty anger, which got to show itself quite fiercely and was scary, yet hilarious, then what is stopping you from throwing me in jail for life? Oh wait, I know, it’s the fact that I have alibis that know where I am, and start to wonder why I haven’t appeared in who knows how long. Then questions will be raised, and it will come out that Princess Celestia has imprisoned a pony for no more than name calling, and you would have to step down as ponies start to question your ability to lead. I may act like it, but I am truly not insane. And no, I’m not threatening, I’m just coming to the logical conclusion that I believe even you have come to. Why else try to interrogate me, other than to try and find something that you truly can lock me up for. Damn how I hate talking, I’m going to shut up now.” With what I had to say put out there, I shut up.
“How the buck did you…” Celestia said
‘Very un-lady like to swear, especially for a princess’ I thought, staying silent
“All right, how did you know that?” She continued. Stayed silent. “Tell us or we will put you in prison for withholding information.” As she continued, I continued. “Fine, why were you on my roof?” I don’t think this needs further explaining, or examples, as this continued for quite some time. And Celestia’s voice was getting tired, and she was more than slightly ticked.
Finally the dark furred princess spoke, “Celestia, let me try to get him to talk.” She turned to me and asked in the same voice that Celestia had used earlier, “How are you White Wind?”
“I’m fine, although I would appreciate it if you didn’t yell, it hurt’s my ears. Also, I don’t think I caught your name.” I responded, causing Celestia to attempt again, this time in her own weird, loud voice.
“Why did you come here?”
I ignored her and was still looking at the dark pony and waiting for an answer. And I got one, “Our name is Princess Luna! It is nice to meet you!” she once again yelled with the same tone. 
“Likewise, now if you would please get Crazily Enchanted Lunatic Egotist Your Royal Miss Princess Lady Mare Pony, or CeleYou’rePlump, to see reason, I will be on my way, with my things. Or if she wants to keep the item, then she can pay 450 bits for it, and be able to attend the lessons I will hold the 31st, then be my guest, I might even lower the price to 300 bits if you sign up for it now, and cut my losses.” I replied.
I think Luna wanted to mess with her sister even more by making her go to the class, as she yelled, “She will be there!” Luna then gave me a sack of 300 bits, and I was on my way, 90 bits richer. 
“Oh, by the way, before I go, and this is important. I’m not joking around here. Seriously, I’m not joking around. The class starts at 11:00 am. Don’t miss it.” I then pulled Luna over for a quick favor, “Can you make sure not to let Celestia send anything to Twilight about her coming? I want to mess with the ponies of Ponyville a bit.” Luna nodded, and we parted.
I flew back to Ponyville and was immediately confronted by a Twilight Sparkle. “You called the Princess fat!?!” her opening line was. 
“No I didn’t. At least, not directly. Now if you will excuse me, I have a pony that I need to shave, then pluck every feather off its body.” I flew off, leaving Twilight shocked and scared.
I did just as I said I would, and shaved, and de-feathered a pony. Me to be exact. I went about my daily routines, and even picked up the other two parachutes. I thought about buying another one with the money I got from the princesses before realizing something that made me stop. I could have been set up with that money, so I decided to hold onto it. 
Finally the fated day arrived. I was at Maple Park, the two remaining parachutes, one strapped to a doll that Rarity was so kind to let me borrow, the other on the ground besides me, the time was currently 10:50:37.934 Am, and already most of the town was gathered to find out what it was that the flyers were talking about. At exactly 11:00:00.000 Am, Celestia arrived. “Ah~ the guest of honor has arrived, and exactly on time as well. Residents of Ponyville, I present you with one who will be taking my classes in this wonder, Princess Celestia!” All the ponies bowed. 
Twilight was the first to speak up. “Princess Celestia, I had no idea that you were coming today. If I had known, we would,”
I interrupted her, “You would have prepared the town for her arrival rather than come to learn what I have to offer.”
“Actually Mr. White Wind, I have come to arrest you for stealing from the national treasury.”
“I knew it,” I murmured under my breath. “Is Your Royal Miss Princess Lady Mare Pony, still upset from the nick name I gave her?” I asked out loud. “Because I could have sworn you bought a parachute, and full lessons on how to use it, AND instructor guidance on how to do tricks, when you were interrogating me for something other than name calling, to use to arrest me.  The Parachute, normally, I would sell for 250 bits, but gave it to you for 200. The full-intensive, 15 week tutoring on how to use it would cost 100 bits, sold for 50, the same price as the regular 9 week course. And then the trick training, a 100 bit value, complete with safety precautions, high level, one-on-on how to, I gave to you for 50 bits. I can give you a full refund, but I will need the parachute in an unharmed state. I’ve told you two things before and I will say them again, first, you have no actual charge against me, and second, I might act insane, but I’m really not. Now, if you will please sit down, with the other ponies, Celestia, we are about to begin.”