"Oh god" sighed Lemon. This was it. As the gleaming white pony approached them, they both saw her face change from a suspiciously fake visage of enthusiastic greeting to strain and a pained smile. They both also noticed she was staring straight at Lemon as this happened, and immediately, Lemon sighed and Zegram smiled, for they both knew his vivid apperance was going to illicit a makeover.
"This here's Mr. Zegram and Mr. Lemon" went the introductions from Applejack, holding out an indicative hoof.
"Look Rarity, I know you've a good eye for-" began Lemon, hoping to avoid it, but he was cut off by Rarity.
"You know me? We've not met have we? I'm sure I would remember somepony with your...specific style but-" who was in turn cut off by Zegram
"Yeraaahhh famous you know? Word gets around about you element bearers you know!" he said, hoping to cover for Lemon's slip up.
"But how comes y'all din't know it was me then?" quizzed Applejack, noticeably suspicious.
"Well we didn't want to assume any-" tried Lemon, but Applejack inquisitively cut him off, asking "Then how comes y'all assumed Rarity was Rarity?"
"HEY Rarity, haven't you noticed how horribly my friend here clashes with himself?"
"Wh-hey!"
"You really ought to fix that. Wouldn't want him running around Ponyville on his first day, so harsh on the eyes now would we?"
And that was it. IN a stroke of vicious genius, Zegram had diffused the situation, and sent Lemon into the pit. Lemon's vicious glare, accompanied by Rarity's signature "Wa-ha-haa!" gave Zegram a warm and fuzzy feeling in his warm and fuzzy chest, and he simply smiled happily back.
Outside, as Lemon was no doubt suffering at the hooves of the eagre fashionista, Applejack decided to get a little familiar with the newcomer.
"So Mr Zegram-"
"Just Zegram, please."
"So Zegram, where y'all from anyways. Y'all din't mention."
"Oh we're just lookin' around, you know. Sight seeing, basically." he replied, as nonchalantly as he could.
"That ain't what ah asked ya." she replied, with a hint of frustration.
"Yeah, I know."
"So y'all gon' tell me?"
"Nope."
"An' why's that?"
" 'tis a silly place. Supposedly the place was founded by some draquonikiss or something? I dunno, it's an old legend. In any case it left the town with a name that's completely unpronouncable." was his curt response, and with that Applejack reasoned she was going to get little else out of him. For the time being anyway.
"That don't make much sense but alright. Have it yer way fella. Watcha plan on seein' next?"
After a moment's thought, Zegram decided he would go the standard route in such affairs, as was dictated by the various stories he'd read before. And he decided to pile just a slight hint of theatrics ontop.
"It'd be an awesome honour to meet the rest of the bearers. You're all kinda celebrities you know."
"Welp, way ah reckon, Twilight's up in her Library all day so she ain't goin noplace anytime soon, an' ah reckon y'all don't wanna be grilled with more questions so early. Ain't got a clue where Rainbow's at most times, an' Pinkie's gonna wear y'all out with some party or other, so ah reckon next stop'd have to be Fluttershy. So y'all know us all huh?"
"Sorta. I've heard some things" said Zegram, monetarily shuddering at said things he'd heard, and seen. With a short flutter of his wings he put those thoughts at bay. Actually being in this place was getting constantly weirder, considering the headcanons. Oh lord the headcanons.
Inside the boutique was an entirely different and chaotic scene. Lemon was dragged in by his tail, which was surprisingly more painful that he'd imagined, and once they reached the inside of the boutique he immediately leapt for the door, only for it to be magically slammed in his face, and locked tight. Fretting, he struggled with the handles, going so far as to try and bite down on the brass, only to hurt his teeth in doing so. Behind him, the boutique erupted in a flying mess of dresses, ribbons, swatches, threads, needles and scissors, the sharper of which he deftly dodged as they whizzed around him. Flaring his wings in an attempt to gain flight, in the hopes that the roof would have an opening, he blindly shot upwards, only to slam himself into the ceiling of the lower floor, stunning himself and making himself perfectly pliable to Rarity's efforts.
"Now hold still dear this won't take long. Let's get you out of that garish purple vest and into something more fitting. Would you still like a vest, or are you open to suggestions?" asked Rarity, presiding over her dazed captive.
"Whu-?" was his entranced response. He barely noticed her, his head spinning from the impact, as rarity buzzed around him, sticking him with needles and wrapping cloth around him before taking it away again. It was only when her magic started tugging at his wings to pull them into a better place for measurements that he snapped back into reality. Lemon had just learned how a pegasus' wings were sensitive to touch, and immediately folded them tightly against himself.
"Watch it!" he barked, his strong voice now catching Rarity unawares.
"Oh my goodness! You startled me Mr lemon! You really must relax, this will be over soon enough. I'll make you quite the dapper stallion, you'll see."
"Look Rarity, I think there's been enough-" but agian, Lemon was cut off. The frequency of this was beginning to grate on his nerves.
"OH hush now Mr Lemon." was her curt assertion, as she affixed more cloth to him. "Hmm. Perhaps just a new vest would be best. I do love your Trottingham accent by the way. Very distinguished. I've not heard one as prominent as yours in all my days and it is most eloquent if I do say so myself."
And that was it. His ego flattered, Lemon settled down. "Well, if you say so." he smirked, adding more 'ponce' to his accent. Their idle chatter continued for a minute or two more, as Lemon was fitted with a new, near-identical vest but of a softer cloth and now green, in a shade matching his mane. Once it was fitted and closed, he gave his wings an experimental flap to see if he still had the same freedom of motion, and once satisfied that he had, the pair made their way back outside to the waiting pair.
"Well thanks for the directions anyway." said Zegram, as Rarity and Lemon emerged from the boutique. As he turned to them, and saw Lemon's new vest, he did not burst into laughter as he expected to. Rather he was simply surprised to find his vivid friend now less offensive to look at, and the bright yellow of his coat seemed less violently intense. As Applejack trotted away from them, he waved his hoof and decided to let his friend in on the new plan.
"So Applejack had to go tend to something at her farm, but she gave us directions to Fluttershy's place. Apparently she's the best bet for a pleasant visit." he said to the two.
"Fluttershy hm?" pondered Rarity, and then was struck by a thought. "Goodness me I nearly forgot! I had a spa appointment! Oh Aloe and Lotus will probably be annoyed if I were to show up so late...It's a shame Fluttershy hasn't found the time to join me as of late. I do so miss our spa evenings. Well, I have to dash off. I'd invite you two boys to join me for some pampering, but it seems you have plans. Do tell me if you plan to visit the spa at any time however. I'd be glad to treat you both to a good pampering from Ponyville's finest! Toodles!"
"Toodles?" asked Zegram, to nopony in particular, as Rarity also trotted off.
"I unno. She liked my accent." said Lemon, mixing subtlety with overt pride.
"She's not even your favourite." retorted Zegram, teasingly.
"She fluffed my ego man. What was I supposed to do, be rude?"
"Oh how very British of you"
"Fuck you man I'm classy as shit now." chided Lemon, as the two began chuckling about his makeover.
"Atleast now I can look at you without suffering. Christ it was like looking at the sun."
"Day man?"
"ah-ah-aaaaah!"
"fighter of the night man!"
"Ah-ah-aaaaaah!"
"Champion of the sun!"
"Ah-ah-aaaaahh!"
"A master of karate.."
"And friendship!"
"Dayman!"
As they walked, Zegram spotted a pamphlet of some kind on the ground. It was an advertisement for that spa Rarity was talking about. It wasn't exactly selling him on the concept, mentioning incessantly the benefits of being clean and calm. Much to his chagrin, ironically.
"Christ who's even writing this crap!?" growled Zegram as they walked, staring at the pamplhet in his hoof.
It was at that moment their path was blocked by a pair of stocky earth stallions carrying a large...mirror? Lemon and Zegram stood in silence as the mirror passed them by, staring themselves in the eyes. And as the mirror passed, Zegram ruffled his wings, and with a resounding "Nope." turned away form the mirror and began to walk around it, continuing their way. Before following him, still staring at the moving mirror, Lemon called to him.
"Gonna say anything to that?" he asked, and flattened his ears as he recieved the most threatening glare from his usually upbeat friend, who continued to growl "No, that's just...no."
Having admired his own reflection for comfort, Lemon cheerfully followed, and they on continued their way.
It didn't take them too long to reach Fluttershy's cottage, the directions they were given had proved very accurate. Upon reaching the hill atop which sat the most idyllic and stomach-turningly picturesque cottage they'd ever laid eyes upon, they made their approach. It was before they crossed the small stone bridge that Zegram nudged Lemon and mentioned to him
"You know you should probably try to speak a little quieter. You've got a kinda canterlot voice thing goin' on."
"P'ffft. I'm just regal."
"You'll spook her man."
"I can be nice!" whined Lemon, feeling accused.
Upon reaching the door, the two stood infront of it for a minute. The chirping of birds and scuttling of various little creatures filled the air, and the sound and smell of the nearby stream gave the ambience a peaceful quality. Truly this was a paradise for any nature-lover. The silence was then broken by the sound of Zegram clearing his throat. After another few moments of nothing, the two looked at eachother, embarassed.
"We should probably knock or something right?" said Lemon.
"I don't know what we expected" was Zegram's reply.
Tentatively, Lemon raised a hoof, and aimed it at the door. Then, somewhat nervously, he rapped it against the door, only to elicit no response still. Zegram took his turn, doing the same, only slightly louder. Still nothing. This lack of response was causing the sound of chirping birds and chittering critters to irritate the two, and Zegram began hoofing the ground and kicking up some dust. It was then that the ambient sounds died down and the two managed to pick up the found sound of chatter. One voice was very familiar, and they knew exactly who it was. Turning to the side of the house, and making their way around, they saw Fluttershy having what looked like an aerial teaparty with the source of the voice they heard. His long slender body and tapering tail, tufted at the end was more than enough clue, but the laugh was distinct. Fluttershy was having tea. In a tree. With Discord.
Approaching the two, they were largely unnoticed, until a pair of birds zipped over their heads toward the tea party, hovered around Fluttershy's head, and as she turned to see them standing beside her home, these two stallions she'd never seen before, her reaction was predictable. With a soft but painfully adorable "eep!" she dropped her cup and saucer, spilling tea on the ground as the crockery was caught by a pair of...squirrels? With wings? Winged Squirrels. Winged Squirrels caught the teacup and the saucer, but not the tea.
After her adorable 'eep' and her attempt to hide behind the trunk of the tree they were sat in, Discord lazily turned his gaze toward the newcomers, and simply smiled.
"Now that's just cliche" he said.