“The match is really heating up now as the Lane Runners are pushing through mid lane! They’re decimating the Royal Vanguard’s towers, and we have the Lane Runners’ Ahri to thank for that! Both teams are now regrouping, and it looks like the Runners and the Vanguards are about to engage in a team fight!
“The Runners’ Kennen activated his Ult, stunning them all and dealing quite a bit of damage before escaping the fray with low health! Oh damn, it looks like Anivia stopped him in his tracks with her Crystallize and Glacial Storm combo! With that Slow and Ice Wall combo, she quickly finished him off with her Flash Frost! But wait! He activated his Hourglass, giving him invulnerability and making her nuke useless!
“Ouch, it looks like Anivia took a whopping bear beat down from Annie’s Tibbers, forcing her to retreat into her revive state! But that egg shell won’t last for very long in the middle of this figh- and there she goes as Annie bakes the Frost Bird with her Incinerate! As Kennen escapes, the rest of the Runners quickly fires off their Ults, decimating them all. Annie earns her second kill quickly as she burns Nocturne to a black crisp! Never thought I would see that nightmarish creature get any darker! And then she gets a Triple kill off Zed! Quadra Kill! PENTA KILL! Fillies and gentlecolts, a Penta Kill by Annie! A wonderful maneuver played by Trixie Lulamoon!”
The rumble of the crowd exploded like war drums as they cheered for Trixie’s accomplishment of taking out the entire Vanguard team. Trixie, up on the shiny black stage in a glass room designed to muffle the crowd's noise, hoof pumped the air with a big grin on her face. The rest of the Lane Runners quickly gave her a pat on the back before returning to their keyboards.
Within Canterlot Castle, not too far away from the Canterlot Convention Center where the League of Legends tournament was being held, Luna was reclining on her comfortable bed, watching the match on her widescreen television. She bought the few e-sports channels for such events like these, and she couldn’t have felt more proud watching her student rise above the ranks of the other League of Legends players. It was obvious that the Princess of the Night trained Trixie well, as the unicorn was already racking up a few more kills before taking out the enemy’s mid inhibitor.
Luna continued to watch until the very end, when Trixie and her team destroyed the enemy’s Nexus, winning them the game and boosting them up to the finals. Turning off the television, Luna moved her sleek, blue body off the mattress and onto her cushy seat in front of her desk, turning on her computer. With her schedule cleared of any royal duties tonight, she had more than enough time to play a couple games of her own. Browsing over her immense list of games on Steam, a massive platform of gaming made by VALVe, she slowly licked her lips. There were so many games she owned, all of them fantastic and wonderful in their own right. It would seem unfair to pick just one over the others as it would leave them left out. Someday, Luna would finish that ultimate gaming room where she can dedicate her leisure time to playing multiple video games at the same time. But for now, she’ll pick the classic Team Fortress 2.
While the game was loading up, Luna swiftly left the room in white flash, shortly teleporting back into her seat with an assortment of snacks and drinks she picked up from the royal kitchen. Taking a sip from her honeydew soda, she quickly went to search for a multiplayer match of Capture the Intelligence; it wasn’t long before she was dropped into a waiting lobby. She could be in BLU team too! The perfect color for the Princess of the Night!
Observing her choices, she decided to go with the professional and long-distance Sniper class. The joy of taking down targets from behind the lines had always appealed to Luna. Of course, the thrill of being up close and personal like the Scout was tempting as well, but she had a strong gut feeling that today was a Sniper day.
“Let’s drop some noobs.” Luna smirked to herself as she spawned in, on her way to search for a nice vantage point to set up camp.
“Damn it! How come you guys didn’t cap that Intelligence yet?!” BipedalTank09 shouted as she shot at a fleeing Scout.
“It’s not my fault they have an aim-botter on their team! Somebody report her!” DroppinBass grumbled.
“Wait, don’t do that! That’s Princess Luna! Do you wanna get sent to the dungeons?!” BipedalTank09 warned.
“Oh that’s just a bunch of horsefeathers. It’s just an urban legend. There’s no way tha- ”
The thunder of a rifle interrupted her sentence, a bullet piercing through DroppinBass’ skull like a train. Blood splattered across the dirt ground like spilled paint, and the body fell with a dull thud.
“Mother humper!” DroppinBass bellowed angrily, followed by noises from her mic that sounded like she just kicked something across her room and stormed out with a door slam.
“You see?! That was literally all the way across the map! Only Princess Luna has that kind of skill!” BipedalTank09 said victoriously.
“And how would you know that?” SlayerOfClouds asked.
“Night 1ightning. That’s her Steam username. I’ve played with Luna in a match before.”
“Oh sure. I bet yo- AUGH! Spy!” She cried out before crumpling to the ground.
“Get her!” MintyBrush shouted as she chased after the Spy with her albino flamethrower.
The remaining group of mares chased the Spy like a pack of wolves, thirsty for vengeance. Meanwhile, Luna was relaxing and taking time to earn her kill shots. The art of long-range attacking required patience and key discipline. It was not like the Heavy, and all the bullet spraying that comes with it. Not at all, for the one rule of a Sniper is one shot, one kill, one hundred percent accuracy; Luna was an absolute master of this.
Best of all, nopony couldn’t even lay a hoof on her. Several of the enemy team did attempt to storm her spot, but Luna was always sure to check her blind spots, surgically inserting a bullet into their brains every time. It never got old every time a body fell to the ground next to her. There was this one Scout, MasherOfWorlds, who almost got her, but that was because she felt like throwing the player a bone. A bone that was tied to a string she held in her hoof. A bone that Luna pulled back into her grasp before making him chopped liver with her kukri.
Now that Luna recalled the time she killed him, she had sworn he was a little colt, judging by his squeaky, young voice before she ended him. She shook her head at the silly notion of parents allowing young foals playing such violent games. Of course, there’s not really much she could do about it. Not without banning under-aged foals from playing games they’re not allowed to touch in the first place. The rating system was there, yes, but it was mostly there to advise potential buyers if it’s appropriate to play it for their age. If a parent truly wanted their kids to play violent games, then they should have that freedom, right? It wasn’t like it was physically hurting anypony.
Of course, kids were always the ones who complained the most when they lost at something. If Luna remembered correctly, he shouted something about quitting before storming off.
“What is it, Luna?” 5park1yShin3, one of her teammates, asked. “You just mumbled something.”
“O- oh! It’s nothing really,” Luna said, realizing she still had the microphone plugged in. “Well… I was just thinking about that kid I owned earlier. Kinda bothers me kids are allowed to play such violent games these days.”
“Don’t worry about it. Kids these days are like that. Tartarus, I was like that when I was around that kid’s age probably,” 7ColorRac3r chuckled. “Although I doubt that ‘he’ was actually a gamer colt.”
“A gamer colt?” Luna inquired, puzzled by the term.
“You know. Gamer colts! Guys who play video games,” 7ColorRac3r laughed out loud. “They think they’re so high and mighty when it comes to video games, when they know it’s really mares who rule the online field.”
“Rainbow Dash, you know that stallions play video games just as well as we do,” App1eKicker huffed.
7ColorRac3r, who was Rainbow Dash, scoffed at her friend’s words. “Of course I know that. I’m talking about stallions who really know how to play video games. Besides, that colt sounded wa-a-ay too squeaky to be a colt. It was probably some filly trying to imitate a colt’s voice.”
“Now why in tarnation would any mare do that?”
“To mess with us! Gamer colts are always trying to be the center of attention. It’s hilarious how mares are always trying to please them every time one is around.”
“Now look here, Rainbow. Mah brother plays video games too, and I’ve never seen him stoop to that level.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I wasn’t pointing any hooves at Big Mac! I’m just saying that gamer colts are annoying.”
“Well mah brother is a stallion, and he plays video games every now and then. Does that make him annoying?”
“N- no! I mean technically, ye- NO! Maybe?”
“Rainbow, I got half a mind to whoop your flank right now.”
Before the argument grew any more tense, 5park1yShin3 interrupted the conversation by loudly clearing her throat. “Okay girls, I know you two have some really interesting things to talk about, but we have a game to play, alright? So keep it together! What does it matter if colts play games anyway?”
7ColorRac3r was about to respond, but then groaned with rage when a Spy stabbed her in the back. “Gah! Bucking horsefeathers, it’s that colt! Bucking lucky son of a bi- ”
“Hello? Is this on? Hello?” MasherOfWorlds called out, the voice sounding much more feminine than before.
“Hmm? Wait a minute… did that just come out from the colt’s mic?” App1eKicker asked.
“Heh. Oh, here comes mom! This will be a hoot!” 7ColorRac3r exclaimed, trying to contain her laughter.
“What do you think she wants, Twi?” App1eKicker asked, apprehension in her voice.
“She probably wants to defend her foal,” 5park1yShin3 said, sounding indifferent about the whole situation. “Somepony should go on the open chat.”
“I’ll go,” Luna suddenly declared out of the blue.
“What? Why you?” 7ColorRac3r asked.
“Yeah. If anypony should go, it should be Rainbow. She was the one who was egging on the poor kid the entire game,” App1eKicker pointed out.
“Hey, he was asking for it! Nopony calls Rainbow Dash a cowbucker and gets away with it!”
“That was just one time, and did you really have to be so mean to the kid?”
“I don’t see what’s wrong with defending myself!”
“I think focusing on killing him and calling him out multiple times qualifies as being more than ‘a little wrong’,” 5park1yShin3 said. “And did you really have to call him a snot-nosed brat?”
“I still believe it is a good idea for me to speak to the mother first,” Luna insisted. “It would be unwise to send the main cause of the colt’s frustration to go talk with his mother… yet.”
“If you insist, Luna,” 5park1yShin3 replied uncertainly.
Luna nodded silently, before switching her chat from ‘team’ to ‘open.’ Taking a long breath, and donning her voice a regal approach, she greeted, “Hello! Tis I, Night 1ightning, the last player to have defeated the owner of the account you are now on. Art thou his mother?”
“Why yes I am,” MasherOfWorld’s mom confirmed. “My little sweetheart is just taking a break right now. In fact, he just locked himself in the bathroom. As his mother, it makes me very upset to know that somepony had the nerve to say things that can hurt his feelings.”
Luna blinked a few times before responding, “Um… art thou suggesting to fight us in his stead?”
“Well if that’s how you want to put it, then yes. I shall be winning this match for not only RED team, but for my son as well,” she replied in a friendly fashion.
“You think you’re going to win this match?” 7ColorRac3r laughed suddenly, butting into the conversation. “RED team is down by two Intelligences, and we have a third one coming into our base now! There’s no way you’re going to be able to-”
[E1usiveG3m was backstabbed by MasherOfWorlds]
“Awaah! How did you ever find me?” E1usiveG3m cried out. “I almost had it!”
“You weren’t quick enough, sweetie. How about you try again?” the mother cooed sweetly, taunting her first kill.
“Oh it. Is. On. Girls, we shall not lose this match! We absolutely cannot!”
“Way ahead of you, Rare!” 7ColorRac3r shouted enthusiastically, racing ahead towards RED base as a Scout.
“Wait don’t go straight into their base so –” [7ColorRac3r was headshotted by MasherOfWorlds] “– quickly.” 5park1yShin3 sighed heavily into her mic before mumbling, “this is probably going to be a long night.”
“I wouldn’t sweat it too much, Twi. It’s just like Rainbow said: we have two points on 'em,” App1eKicker said encouragingly. “What could go wrong?”
“A lot of things, by the look of how many kills that mother is racking up,” Luna said in awe, her eyes widening at the Battle Feed’s increasing notifications, all of them pointing towards the kills being made by the new mare.
“… Whoa nelly.”
Inside his bathroom, a little brown colt was finishing up his cold shower before stepping out to dry himself. He needed to cool off his mind, after dying so much in Team Fortress 2. The colt knew that there were complete jerks online, but he didn’t expect to fall prey to such words. Maybe he should lay off the tough-guy words he learned from his friends at school for a while. They didn’t seem to work in his favor. After adjusting his propeller cap, he made his way back into his room, surprised to find his mother on his computer. The colt recognized the game on the monitor as the very same one he was playing before escaping into the comfort of cold water. Silently watching her play TF2, he began to nudge his mother with the end of his muzzle before climbing onto her lap so he could get a better look.
“Mom? You’re playing that match I just left?”
“Yes, Button Mash, honey,” his mother giggled softly, quickly scoring another kill off 7ColorRac3r.
“Oh wow… and you’re winning!” Button Mash said with sudden joy, a bit surprised at the points his mother earned.
“Yes sweetheart,” she said, kissing the back of his head before returning her attention to the game.
“I… guess you talked to those meanies, didn’t you?”
“Yes I did, and they were very sorry for saying mean things to you.”
“Really?” he asked, turning his head up towards his mother’s kind eyes.
“Oh they will… after I show them a thing or two about gaming, that is.”
[RED Team captured the Intelligence! RED Team wins!]
Luna watched her screen with a stunned, horrified expression and a hanging jaw as the words of failure in the game taunted her. As soon as she was dropped into another lobby, she closed the entire game itself and shut down the computer. She dragged her hooves to her bed, and fell face forward onto her pillows. Luna then let out a frustrated, bloody wail, her hooves flailing around, hitting everything around her. Pillows flew everywhere, and the bed sheet were rustled immensely. Once she got that out of her system, she rolled onto her back and laid there silently.
How the heck did she lose? Everything seemed to go downhill as soon as the mother caught her off guard. Luna thought she had her spot secured, but she what she didn’t expect was to be chased by an ÜberCharged Scout and Medic into an ambush right below her.
Of course, Luna quickly got revenge afterwards, but never had she met a player so evenly matched with the moon goddess’ skills. For every headshot she got on the mother, she was repaid in kind with a melee kill on Luna. For every melee kill Luna got, the mother repaid Luna with a headshot. It was a never-ending exchange of kills and deaths! And worst of all, Luna actually had fun in that game. She was able to experience the same level of thrill as when she played her first video game. Did she finally find a rival worthy enough to oppose her?
“Luna? Are you well?”
Luna turned her head towards the door, finding it open and her sister standing in the middle of the doorway, bathed in the golden candle light. Peaking from the sides of the doorway was four of her Lunar Guards, curious and concerned about what could have fell upon their princess to throw her into such an outburst.
“I am fine, my sister. Tis nothing to worry about,” Luna falsely reassured her sister, not wanting her to be too troubled with her small problems. She turned over onto her belly, and looked away from Celestia.
Not buying any of Luna’s feeble attempts to skirt around the state of affairs, Celestia walked up to the bed after shooing the guards back to their assigned positions, closing the door behind her. “Oh come on now. I know you better than anypony, and I know that something is bothering you.” Celestia climbed onto the bed next to Luna, and wrapped a giant, white wing around her. “Would you please tell me? I promise I won’t laugh,” Celestia smiled softly. Luna exhaled a great, heavy sigh before mumbling. “I couldn’t hear that, Luna. Speak louder please?”
Luna groaned again before saying, “I said it is just a small matter. I was just really frustrated over a game. It is nothing to concern yourself over.”
“Even so, I would still like to hear it. Your problems' size do not deter me from worrying about you. That is the promise I made all those years ago.”
Luna stayed her lips for a while before collecting her thoughts. “… Okay. Well… there is this mare… ” Celestia nodded slowly, compelling Luna to continue. “And… she bested me.”
“I see… and you’re mad at this mare?”
“I suppose I am. You should have seen how we fought. Every move she made nearly mirrored mine, and sometimes I couldn’t even keep up! I never thought I would lose until she arrived… ”
“Mmmh… but did you have fun?”
Luna blinked softly before turned towards Celestia, a little perplexed by what she just said. “What?”
“I asked if you had fun,” Celestia repeated, tilting her head to the side. “Was the match at least enjoyable for you?”
Luna bit her lower lip as the memories of the game swirled around her mind. The gunfire and team members bawking at each other to communicate were not absent, and those moments when Luna and that mare faced each other…
“Yeah… I had fun.”
“Then I suppose you don’t have a problem then,” Celestia beamed happily. “If you had fun, then you had fun.”
“I guess you’re right,” Luna sighed once more, “but I would have liked to win the match.”
“I’m sure you’ll meet her again. You’ll find a way,” Celestia said, lifting her wing away from Luna before walking towards the door. “After all, I assume you’ll want a rematch?”
“… A rematch does sound nice.”