//------------------------------// // Episode 6: Laughing to Yourself // Story: Born to Chaos and Nightmares // by Thorax //------------------------------// "Mom, wake up," Lucid groaned as she attempted to wake her mother. "Five more... minutes..." Nightmare mumbled as she drifted back into sleep, faintly trying to bat at the disturbance. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Lucid chanted as she continued her futile attempts. "No, Luna.... my high scores shall last forever!" The sleeping goddess muttered as she rolled over. "Dad is making you breakfast," the young Draconequus shouted in one last attempt. "Keep him away from the toaster!" Nightmare shouted as she shot up from her bed, sending her daughter hurling across the room. "For the love of all that is dark and terrible, keep him away from the toaster." Lucid gave a groan as she pulled herself back on the bed. "Calm down mom, dad isn't making breakfast. At least, I hope he didn't." "Then where is he?" Nightmare asked suspiciously as she stared at Discord's empty side of the bed, "and why are there three copies of Mice and Mares where his pillow should be?" Nightmare picked one of the several novels up and carefully opened it, not sure what Discord was up to. "Tee-Hee?" She read aloud. A look of horror spread across her face as she threw the book across the room. "Why'd you throw it mo-" Lucid was cut off as the book started to fizzle and after several seconds exploded, taking a large portion of the bedroom was with it. "Discord," growled the angry Night Goddess as she summoned her armor into existence. "When I get my hooves on you, I'm going to kil-" "Miss Sparkle says attempting to murder your significant other is bad for a relationshi-" Lucid was cut off by her mothers' glare. "Having Sparkle as our marriage counselor was another one of you fathers' sick jokes and I'll murder whoever I want, thank you very much." Nightmare finished as she stormed out of the room, Lucid trailing behind her. "But mom, Miss Sparkle says seeing my parents kill each other... several times, could have a negative impact on my development." The young Draconequus shouted as she grabbed onto her mother's tail and began pulling herself up. "I believe that damage was done when you blew me up." Nightmare stated flatly as she continued to search down outside of her chambers for any sign of her dimwitted husband. "So where is your father?" Nightmare asked as she came to the conclusion Discord had not left any clues. "That's what I was trying to tell you, I was sneaking around looking for a midnight snack, when I heard dad laughing to himself in the hall, but when I went to see him, he was gone." Lucid spoke as she hung from her mothers helmet doing her best to maintain eye contact. "I remembered the list of suspicious things he does that I should warn others about!" "Laughing to himself?" Nightmare repeated. "Yeah mom, I think he was just laughing to himself, as if someone had told him a joke. But when I went to see him, he was gone." "Well then," Nightmare began uncertainty running options through her mind, "I guess we'll start looking near the kitchen." After a few minutes of silently creeping through the halls, doing her best not to alert Discord should he happen to be creeping about himself, the Alicorn and her daughter eventually made their way to Chaos god's last known location and favorite hunting grounds. "What's that?" Lucid asked as she pointed to barely visible object concealed in the shadows of the table. Carefully Nightmare used her magic to grasp the object, not sure if this was another one of Discord 'surprises' left for her. "It's a rubber chicken," Nightmare stated flatly as she used her magic to squeeze it. Unexpectedly enough, it squeaked instead of exploded. "Well that went bette-" Nightmare was cut off as the chicken burst into a cloud of assorted colors leaving Nightmare coughing in a cloud of dust and powder. "Really?" the mare of Darkness groaned as she rubbed the residue from her face. "We're not dead!" Lucid shouted, "I was really worried we'd have to go to the Abyss again, I don't think I can take anymore of Uncle Zeus's cheek pinching" "You should be happy he thinks you're 'the most adorable thing ever', or he would have made you rebuild all the parts of Olympus you knocked down." "That wasn't my fault, I told you. I just wanted to see what would happen if I blew out Uncle Hades hair, I didn't think he'd explode like that. Besides, you thought it was funny," Lucid stated, attempting to hide a grin. "Baring the fact that Hades needed to cool off, destroying an entire 'Kingdom of the Gods' in one visit is a little excessive," Nightmare responded trying to suppress her own growing grin. After a few more minutes of carefully searching the kitchen for any other bombs or clues the Nightmare and Lucid had come to the conclusion that Discord was not in fact hiding in there, nor had he left traces of where he had gone. However, as the two began making their way towards the exit, the faint sound of hooves steps approaching caused them slight panic. With a single faint flash of purple both Lucid and Nightmare vanished into the shadows. "I hate you Discord. I hate you sooo much," came a faint, but familiar voice from behind the door. Remain in the shadows Nightmare tried her best to remember it's source. Slowly the kitchen door began to open, revealing a rather miffed looking Changeling Queen. "Chrysalis?" Nightmare asked as she stepped out of the shadows. "For the love of the Hive!" Chrysalis shouted, doing her best not to fall back. "Don't do that!" "What are you doing here?" Nightmare asked in confusion, "and in the middle of the night?" "This would be the doing of that moron Discord. Sombra and I were attempting to hold evening court for some of the outer Hives when he literally pops into existence, shouts surprise and the next thing I know, I'm outside in your gardens." "Well then, any particular reason you think he'd do that?" Nightmare asked, her confusion only growing. "I'd say him being a moron is good enough reason." "Fair enough," Nightmare answered, "we could use another angry god-creature in our search party anyways." "Fine," Chrysalis answered reluctantly. "I'm sure Sombra can handle some simple court issues on his own. Besides, I haven't had a reason to strangle the lizard in such a long time." "Good," Nightmare stated with great satisfaction, "you can search one side of the castle, while Lucid and I search another." With a mention of her name, Lucid gave a wave to the Changeling Queen "Hi Aunt Chrysalis, sorry dad is being... well, dad." "That's not your fault." Chrysalis answered as she patted her 'niece' on the head. "Your father is a very strange creature, and I've come to accept that. Doesn't mean I won't beat him with a blunt object though, just means I accept him for who he is." "Okay, Chrysalis, you take the archives and the guards barracks, I'll take the Staff quarters and the rest of the eastern wing. If you see the idiot, try to leave him alive long enough for me to get a turn." Nightmare finished as she gave a quick salute before making her way out of the Kitchen, Lucid quickly giving a salute as well. ---Several minutes later--- "Royal Archives, Royal Archives," Chrysalis continued to repeat as she continued her search. She had already managed to go in three circles always ending back up at the Kitchen. She wasn't sure if she had actually forgotten the layout or if this was another one of Discord's many tricks. However, after several more minutes of futile searching she had stumbled upon two guards who were more than happy to help a foreign diplomat find what they need. "Your services are greatly appreciated," Chrysalis stated happily as she stood at the entrance to the Archives, the two guards gave a quick bow before returning to their posts. Dang, it's good to be the Queen, Chrysalis thought to herself as she opened the door. "Wow," Chrysalis muttered as she stared at the much larger room than she had remembered, "looks like they did some renovations." Though, that didn't surprise her too much seeing as how often they managed to blow up, vaporize or otherwise destroy parts of the castle. "Hahahahaha," came the faint but extremely distinct laughter of Discord. "Found you," Chrysalis muttered as she took off, the faint buzzing of her wings filling the halls of the archive, as the Changeling Queen made her way towards her target. ---Elsewhere in the Castle--- "Mooooooooooom," whined Lucid as she stretched out on her mother's back. "Do you think we're going to find dad soon? I want to go back to bed." "We'll find him soon enough." Nightmare answered, trying to hide the agitation in her voice. "Your father might be quick, but he isn't subtle." *Bang* came a echoed explosion somewhere further down the halls. Followed by some faint but angry cries to "stop that racket" or mumbles about "murdering a certain lizard." "Told you, your father doesn't know how to be subtle." Nightmare stated smugly as she took off in her own efforts to catch her moronic husband. She had quite a good idea as to where he was, and if he she was correct they'd soon have another member in their hunting party. "I'll kill you, Discord," came a cry as Nightmare made her way around a corner, revealing on extremely angry and slightly scratched up Sun Goddess. Nightmare did her best to stifle her laughter as she looked at Celestia's mess of ethereal hair, she hadn't known it was possible to have bed mane with weird magical hair. "What did he do now?" Celestia glared at Nightmare, her eyes blood shot and her teeth bared. Nightmare could have sworn the Sun Goddess almost had fangs. "That stupid lizard pops into my room and wakes me up. I thought he tried hiding in my closet, but when I went to yell at him, I was mauled by a badger." She finished her frizzled mane on the verge of bursting into flames. "Who in the seven fires of Tartarus hides a badger in someone's closet?!" She quickly added. "Any idea where he went?" Nightmare asked still trying to hide her laughter. "I don't know where he went, but when I get a hold of him. I'm going to make my self a fine set of leather boots out of his hide." The angry goddess finished with a snort of flames. However the dramatic moment was quickly destroyed by the approaching sound of buzzing. "I'll kill you Discord!" came the cries of Chrysalis as she blindly slammed into the Sun Goddess. "Ugh" groaned Celestia as she rubbed her head "Did anyone get the number of that carriage?" she groaned as she picked herself up off the ground and started searching for her attacker. "Stupid lizard," groaned Chrysalis as she stood up. "Chrysalis what ar-" Celestia paused for a second, "never mind, I'll just assume Discord has something to do with this." "Bingo," Chrysalis stated flatly. "Don't start the slaughter without me," came another voice, quickly followed by Luna and what appeared to be a large sack of weapons. "I heard everyone's planning to kill Discord, didn't want to miss my chance!" The Alicorn of the Night stated excitedly, "we haven't had a god old fashioned Discord murder in ages, we even have Chrysalis!" "I'm glad to see you're enjoy this so much." Celestia groaned. "Hahahahaha," came another laugh of the Chaos God. "Not this time!" Hissed Celestia as she bolted, this time Discord wasn't getting away, the other gods quickly following in Celestia's hoofsteps. Several times they almost lost the faint sounds of the Draconequus's laughter, but after a couple of minutes of high speed chase, they eventually found their target; laughing to himself as he slowly walked in circles around the room. "Well this is the creepiest thing I've ever seen," Chrysalis stated nervously as Discord continued to laugh to himself. "Mom, what's dad doing?" Lucid asked as she slowly peaked over the top of her mother's head, not sure what to expect. "I think he's sleep walking." Nightmare answered as she slowly approached Discord and stuck a hoof in his path. Sure enough instead of going around he slowly walked into the hoof and attempted to pass through it, leaving himself walking on the spot. "Aww, does that mean we can't murder him?" Luna asked, disappointment thick in her voice. "I vote we still murder him," Celestia stated flatly as she slowly began rummaging through Luna's sack of weapons. "I think it's time we bring back the classic mace," she finished happily as she examined the blunt object, her twisted grin growing. "I'm sure this will wake him up." "As much as I'd like to see what you could do with a mace, I thinking waking him up would be an extremely bad idea. Waking up a normal sleepwalker is bad enough, what happens when said sleepwalker could wipe out all life with a snap of his talons?" Nightmare finished as faint glow began to cover her horn. "I'm going to have to wake him up another way." and in a flash of light she was gone. Lucid let out a faint cry as she was dropped to the floor. "You could have warned me about that," groaned the filly. With a second flash of light Nightmare found herself standing in a large white room. "Welcome," came the voice of Discord, "I was wondering when you'd get here. How do you like my little world?" Nightmare spun around to see the Draconequus sitting in a rather large chair. Nightmare stared at her husband in confusion, "It's pretty empty..." she spoke slightly nervously. "Not this one, my other one." He asked, slowly tapping his talons on the arm rest. "What other one? Stop fooling around Discord, we need to you wake up. You're causing more of a ruckus than usual with your sleep walking." "I need to wake up?" Discord asked with feigned confusion as he pointed to himself. "But I never went to sleep, maybe you're the ones who need to wake up." He continued as he stood up and slowly approached Nightmare, "I had expected at least one of you to figure it out, but, neither you, Luna, Celestia nor Chrysalis managed to." "Figure what ou-" Nightmare paused as the full meaning of her Husband's words came into effect. "How did you know Chrysalis was here?" "Well duh" Discord stated flatly "She's not here, in fact none of you are and I'm not the one who needs to wake up." A look of fear slowly began to spread across Nightmare's face as she finally put the pieces together. "That's right honey" Discord began with a grin "I took a page from your book, for once you're the dreamer and I the weaver." "But why? Why go through all this trouble to pull some minor pranks in our dreams?" She asked, her fear still growing. "Think of this as the appetizer before the main course." The Draconequus stated happily, "I needed to keep you all busy while I got everything ready, didn't want anyone spoiling the surprise. Except Chrysalis, I just wanted to draw a mustache on her. You three, on the other paw, are going to have a fun filled day." Discord was about to wake himself and everyone else up with a single snap, when he thought to do one more thing. Slowly he leaned in towards his wife. "I made breakfast for everyone," he whispered with a grin. And then Nightmare woke up.