//------------------------------// // 2: Dirt-dwellers (rewritten 10/29) // Story: Fallout Equestria: Cloud Cover // by Sir Brony //------------------------------// Believe me, the last thing I wanted was to try to communicate with the muck-suckers that inhabited this barren wasteland, but what else could I do? I looked up. Even the vultures circling me cried for water. My hooves stumbled over the fractured avenue; my ears drooped as I cursed my luck. I longingly looked at the wine bottle in my saddlebags. The precious liquid sat there, mocking my thirst. I was tired of waiting and trying to save it; I needed it. I glanced around at my surroundings. Just one sip couldn’t hurt, right? Was I tired, or was I drunk? I looked at the bottle as its contents sloshed around. Meh, probably both. I took one last gulp, and threw the bottle as far as I could. I took a deep sigh and started walking as I heard it shatter behind me. Recalling the day’s “experiences”, I cursed my luck. Why the buck was I, Sir Rough Sketch, stranded in the land of peasants and mouth-breathers? "Take the job", my boss had said. "It's a great honor", she had said. Ever since I had been blessed with the opportunity to see Enclave heavy troopers slaughter the unwashed barbarians threatening our safety, I had been running for my bucking life. I swear, when I get back up there, I am quitting my health hazard of a job! Nowhere in my bucking job description had it said, "By accepting this job as an artist, you agree to possibly die in the wasteland for the greater good"! Lost in thought, I kept on stumbling down the road. CRASH My peaceful trot came to a swift end as the shopping cart slammed into my chest. I yelped as my face met the ground rather quickly. “Shit. I killed it! Ah’m gonna need to bury another body” The pony behind the assault said. “If you want to do that, you’ll have to try harder” I responded, struggling to get up. “I could use a hoof”. “Oh, mah apologies”, the unicorn blurted as he helped me to my hooves, “Ah really didn’t mean to do that; it’s just ah’m in a hurry. Can’t let those delinquents get me cap”. While listening to him rant, I opened my wings and started inspecting them. A stallion can only lose so many primaries. “Sir, as much as I am worried about ponies stealing your hat, I really must-” The scream shattered my eardrums. He started trotting backwards, eyes fixed on my wings. “No, No! Is this how ah die, stopped by my kindness?” he asked, fear overcoming his eyes. “Sir, are you okay?” I asked as I tried to help him up. “No! You get away from me, demon. Take my booty and leave” he cried. “What? Why would I want your booty?” I asked. As I saw him lift the metal, I finally understood. I grabbed the piece, the smile on my face turning into a frown. Nothing but a stupid soda cap with a star on the front lay in my hooves. “Sir, what is this?” I asked. I turned around, realizing he had disappeared. Looking farther ahead, I saw him running faster than a Raptor on turbo. I will never understand Wastelanders. I looked again at the soda cap. Again, nothing but the blue star showed up. Is this what the ponies of the Wasteland do in their free time, run around giving soda caps to people with wings? Facing the road once again, I decided to return to my epic journey. Judging by the shadows that the predatory birds made when following me, it was about noon. Nothing had come and nothing had gone on this forsaken path. I was breathing heavily from both my walking and ranting, and my wings throbbed at me when I tried to open them. Walking down the path, a speck on the horizon appeared. I couldn't quite make out what it was, although it appeared to be growing larger. Wondering if this thing handed out soda caps too, I approached the figure. "Hey! Hey, you!" I waved my hoof at what appeared to be a pony. "Where's the nearest Single Pegasus Project tower?" After no reply came, I yelled out again, "Answer me damnit! I will kick your flank!" I started sprinting out towards the figure. As the figure came into view, I noticed others in a line following behind the pony. I rapidly ran out of breath and had to walk towards the ponies. I reached a rather interesting scene. The aged shackles unified each of the ponies, save for one at the very front. Noting my confusion, he swiftly approached. "Hello mate, may I interest you in some quality wares?" the pony asked. Looking closer, I could tell he was a buff stallion with a charcoal coat. At his side was some sort of zebra-alien gun. "I'll tell ya what; you look like a weak pony, buy these two strong ponies over here, and I'll throw this mare in for free" he proposed, pointing to the ponies in the chains. Glancing at the ponies in the shackles, I could see the fear in their eyes. But why were they scared? "Wait, you sell ponies?" I asked. "Yep", the stallion said, a cocky grin spread across his face. "PONIES? You sell other living talking ponies?" I asked again, my voice barely below a shout. I was a bigot, but not low enough to buy another pony! "That's the definition of slavery. Now do you want to buy or not? I have too many ponies on my hooves right now; I've had to resort to chaining some together with iron chains. In fact, I’ll give you a discount on all the ones in iron chains." He said, the alien-ray-thingy suddenly in his mouth. Well, buck. On my left, a miniature alicorn with an ivory coat stood. On my right, a Frankenstein of monsters sat drinking chocolate milk. Wow, what kind of hallucinogenic wine did I drink? Shuddering at whatever was on my right shoulder, I focused on the more important event. Looks like I had to buy a slave. The freak on my left smiled. "Yes, I would be interested in purchasing one of your fine ponies, how much shall I compensate you for your two finest work breeds?" I asked, putting my pegasus charm on. "300 caps for the two and the mare, no more, no less." An apathetic voice responded. Caps? Like hats? Pen caps? Why the hay did they use caps for currency? Did all dirt-dwellers have a soda cap fetish? As these many excellent questions floated around in my head another one popped up. How would I pay the large stallion glaring at me? "I'll tell you what, good sir. You look like an extremely strong stallion, Am I correct in saying that?" I said. The large stallion nodded, his massive head bobbing up and down. "You said it yourself, I'm a weak guy. So I'm going to make you a deal. We hoof wrestle, for double or nothing. It's an easy way for you to make an extra 300 caps, so what do you say, deal?" I stuck my hoof out. After some time he reached out and shook it. "You got yourself a deal, shortstuff. We'll use this stallion", he pointed to one of the muscle ponies, the red one, "as a table", He declared. That was easy. Now I just had to pickpocket his gun while we were wrestling and I would be in the clear. They call me Sticky Hooves Sketch for a reason. "Ya ready?" he asked. Nodding, I sat down at one end of our "table". The firearm was clipped onto his belt. Discreetly, I picked up a rock in my other hoof. "Heh, this'll be easy" He placed his hoof on this pony's back. Slowly extending my hoof out, I glanced at the slaves. He had tied them to the husk of what vaguely resembled a tree. Giving a fake smile, I lifted my hoof with the rock behind my back, preparing to throw it. "Let's do this," I yelled. "Bring it" He started pushing against my hoof. Sweet Luna he was strong! Little droplets of sweat made a journey down my face. This was a terrible plan. Barely containing his laughter, the slaver said, "Are you kidding me mate? I haven't even started." I couldn’t keep this up much longer. He was crushing my hoof. I wound my left hoof back, the rock feeling much heavier than before. Summoning my inner strength, I hurled the stone through the air with all my might towards the slaves. It bounced ten feet away, but the slaver still turned around, momentarily distracted. "The slaves are escaping", I yelled, pointing to where the stone had landed. "What the buck?" The slaver asked, confusion dawning on his face. Seizing the moment, I lunged for the zapper. I ripped it off his belt, yelling, "Freeze, motherbucker!" He turned around, only to find the weapon pointed at his face. "The hell is this?" He started walking towards me . "Not another step, don't you even take another step or I swear to Celestia I will turn your face into a puddle," I threatened, "Now here's what you're going to do. First off, you’re going to give me the keys to the chains. Next, you will start freeing the ponies with the collared time-bombs. Finally, turn around and walk 1000 meters that way." "I highly doubt that mate, you're not even holding the gun the right way" He casually started trotting towards me. I turned the gun around and pulled the trigger. A beam of pure awesomeness seared the dirt in front of the slaver, sending him diving into cover. "What the buck? Stop, okay I'll do it!" He threw me the keys. “I need to go get the defuser for the explosive collars, okay?” The slaver asked. "Good", I said coolly. I turned towards the iron-chained slaves. A little bit confused, they stared back, waiting to see what I would do. I walked up to an old unicorn and used the key on his shackles, setting him free. His frown softened for a second, only to morph back into a scowl. "Thank you. I can't believe I was helped by one of the pigeons; thought you were all hiding up in your nest." The stallion grumbled. Ignoring him, I moved to the next pony. A timid, skinny-looking stallion raised his eyes and met mine only to lower to the ground once again. The lock made a sharp click as it opened. Even after I set him free, he simply stayed in place. "Hello? You do know you're free now, right?” I asked. Still, no response came from the pathetic stallion. I left him there, staring at his hooves. I turned to the last pony in chains. To my disgust, a foal, no older than me when I first learned to fly, sat there, looking ahead. The colt’s ribcage was his main feature; it clearly showed itself in place of what should have been a chest. I slowly unlocked the chain. "It's okay now, you're okay." He cringed as I reached to pat his head. A look of relief spread across his face before turning to a whimper. “What’s wrong?” I asked. *Click* Did I just here a click? I turned around to see where the sound had come from. Before I could finish my searching, a sharp pain engulfed my fetlock. What the buck? I fell down. I felt something heavy smash against my head. Was that blood, my blood? A rushing sound was all around me, and the world got very dark very quick. LEVEL UP! New Perk: Child at Heart- Unlocks many unique dialogue options with children.