King Ukko wasn't there.
This wasn't for any of the usual reasons i.e. drinking or nursing a hangover. Instead, being almost killed last night had apparently made the old reindeer so angry that he had become very energetic. The claim that the would-be assassin and the pirates were both allied with a pretender to the throne had given him the idea to show his strength. This way, Ukko reasoned, any sympathizers to the Pretender would be discouraged.
Hence he had charged off, called together herd chiefs, journalists and city leaders and was to hold speeches in three places today to three different crowds. He had declared that he had no time to listen to his savior but left her in the care of what he claimed were “my best sarvs”. Ukko was brusque but grateful and even somewhat warm to Twilight when he explained this. Twilight started to doubt the “my best sarvs” part when he was merely brusque to his Companions. Twilight had to admit they looked worse for wear from last night.
“And try to do something right for once!” he finished his orders to them and trotted off with the most alert bodyguards in reindeer history. The five Companions looked after him, their faces varying from angry (Mustikka) through sad (Galderhorn) to... anguished (a Companion Twilight hadn't seen before).
They remained like that, looking at the spot where their King and leader had left. Finally, the unknown reindeer cleared his throat.
“Well, let's get down to this nasty business! Let’s retreat to the Sun room in the Eastern lodge!” he said and half-raised a stiff forehoof and pointed. “Heikko, scare up some refreshments.”
The fat reindeer nodded amiably and trotted off.
“Why Heikko?” said Mustikka. “He'll stop and eat in the kitchen.”
“He would have gone off for his own jug of hot coffee if you had gone,” the strange reindeer said. “Now we save time. Besides, we cannot truly start until Kol comes to.”
The bard moaned theatrically and hung his head.
“I am dying, and might never come to! I am truly dying and I am only accompanying you, my friends, so that I might die doing my duty!” he said.
“Yeah,” said the strange reindeer,“ let’s go and do the dying in the Sun room.”
“Do we even know whether it’s free?” scowled Mustikka.
“It is now,” said the strange reindeer. “I’ll declare a national emergency if anyone is discussing potato quotas or reforesting projects there.”
He trotted off at a surprising speed for somedeer with a pronounced limp. Twilight followed, somewhat faster than his friends.
There actually were reindeer discussing potato quotas (Twilight never learned what that meant), but they were quickly shooed out. The reindeer pushed the tables around in a way that seemed eccentric to Twilight, until she realized they were basically barricading themselves. No one who entered could avoid circling around the barricade (or jumping several heavy fir-log tables).
“Do you suspect an ambush? At your coffee table?” Twilight asked. She felt a bit helpless not knowing whether to help or how.
“You never know,” said the strange companion. He gestured for Twilight to sit down at one side of the table left free in the middle of the room where his companions were already seated (or lying down and moaning, in Kol’s case).
The barricade didn’t last long. Twilight was trying to start the meeting, when Heikko sauntered in with a huge wooden coffee jug in his mouth and an overloaded maid in tow. He bumped the table with his rump and it jumped. The massive piece of furniture crashed into the floorboards with such force Twilight thought it would break. The maid hastily slunk in after him.
“We had just set that up!” Mustikka exclaimed.
“Oh, sorry,” said the huge reindeer and reversed the rump-bump to slam the table back.
Everyone looked at the maid.
“I'll just creep out under it, my lords!” she said and smiled as she unloaded some kind of second breakfast on the table they had gathered around. She threw a fearful glance at Twilight in her regal Stygian finery and skull-like makeup before she did as she had suggested.
“Alright!” said the strange reindeer, seated opposite to Twilight. “Let's get this on with.” He looked at her while his friends helped themselves to coffee and some kind of dry buns with equally dried berries.
“Yes,” she said, and started to at least try to get in character, “let's.”
“How dare you!” he burst out. “How dare you!”
“I beg your pardon?” said Twilight.
“I should have been there!” he said. “But you... you were there!”
“What?” said Twilight. “Wait, are you saying I should have told the mad bomber 'Please come back tomorrow, when the regular hero is present'?”
“YES!” he shouted. That made everyone at the table jump. “No. No, I mean, that would have been ridiculous...” He trailed off and saved himself by trying to drink from his not-yet filled coffee jug. “I should have been there.”
“And why should you have been there?” Twilight said. Then she added, reminding herself she was the fake, evil Twilight: “Your friends didn't do much.”
“Because I'm Skiold the Bold!” he shouted. “That's what I do! I gave my leg for my King!”
He slammed his stiff foreleg down on the table with a sharp 'thud' that made Twilight jump again. It also made her realize something...
“Your leg... it's a prosthetic, is it not?” she said and gazed curiously at the leg. What she had taken for scars must be seams. These days, earth pony life-empathic powers and unicorn magic were so advanced that few hurt ponies needed prosthetics.
“Yes,” he said and turned it so Twilight could see the straps holding it. She had taken them to be part of the minimal barding he wore, which she now realized was made of...
“Leather,” she guessed, “from some draconic creature.”
“Nidhogg,” he said. “Same one that took my leg when I shielded Ukko.”
“He was using that dam fool runic spear of his, that's just a showpiece,” snarled Mustikka. “It is so loaded with harm-runes that it must have cost a fortune, yet not a single rune for fortitude or good luck or anything defensive.”
“He doesn't need fortitude runes,” Skiold said. “He has me!”
“The skin... is that yours?” Twilight said.
“Yeah,” said Skiold and smiled. “The leg is nidhogg bone and teeth, and I told the leeches to flay my leg when they amputated it, so the new leg would at least look right!”
The idea seemed very disgusting to Twilight, which made her next move easy.
“Oooooh...” she said and looked at Skiold admiringly as she leaned forward as uncomfortably close as she could. “May I... touch it?” And before Skiold could react, she did, lifting the false leg with her magic and moving it.
“Mmm...” she said. “Dead hide... and bone...” She shut her eyes and tried to hide her disgust. It worked pretty well, since her shudder and her unwanted sigh came off as ecstatic joy instead of horror at the use of corpses in crafting.
She opened her eyes, smiled at Skiold, fluttered her eyelashes, and let go of his leg. He pulled it back looking distressed more than disgusted.
“Anyway...” he tried to recover his wherewithal. “That's why I should have been there. I have given limb, I would give life as well.”
“Then you probably don't want my help,” Twilight said and helped herself to a bun magically. “Because I aim to prevent you from getting another chance, Lord Skiold.”
“And why is that?” said Mustikka. Everyone turned to him, even the still whimpering Kol.
“What reason can you have to care for king Ukko's well-being?” Mustikka said.
“Because of the goodness of my heart and my love for all fellow beings?” Twilight suggested honestly.
Mustikka snorted.
“Because keeping him on the throne makes it easy for me to stop reindeer piracy,” Twilight said. “Because stopping reindeer piracy keeps Equestria safe. Because keeping Equestria safe keeps me in Princess Celestia's good graces.”
“Because being in the good graces of a physical goddess gives you power!” snarled Mustikka.
“If you know, Sir Mustikka, why do you ask?” said Twilight. “Besides,” she added honestly, “it is knowledge, not power, I seek. The gods do not grant miracles – at least not Our Lady of the Sun. Power I have plenty of my own.”
Just as Princess Luna had suggested earlier, the Companions seemed satisfied with this line of reasoning, leaning back, nodding, and looking at each other. Except Mustikka.
“You could have followed Lord Eminence’s lead and made common cause with the Pretender,” he said. “Why this tactic?”
“Do you suspect everyone?” pouted Twilight and fanned herself.
“Watch out for that fan!” Mustikka whispered to Galderhorn. “It's a deadly weapon!”
“Yeah,” said Heikko. “Pretty much. I used to think his Sight was Seeing danger, since he was our scout and he was so good at it. And you know, when the Sight overtakes you, you See nothing but. Turns out he is just a right suspicious bastard.”
Skiold nodded. Mustikka scowled.
“You See nothing but what?” asked Twilight.
“Nothing but what you See,” Heikko explained without making things clearer for Twilight.
“Do I get an answer?” he said and looked at Twilight.
Twilight felt panic slowly welling up inside her, like when you notice that the Cutie Mark Crusader Plumbers have fixed your sink and your kitchen floor soon will be flooded.
Let's go for honesty.
“I must admit I have an interest in reindeer magic,” she said. “Unicorn mages have too long ignored the magic of other ungulates. I have already studied the lore of the Zebra, the Buffalo and the Red Deer... but there are always other secrets.”
Well, I have studied with Zecora, and talked spirits for five minutes with Chief Thunderhooves, and there was that time the others made that long journey and talked to that Queen of the Deer, whatever her name was... and I remember regretting not getting to talk magic with her...
“The Temple of Hrimfaxi has interesting... chronicles and whatnot, and the priesthood, such as it is, favors King Ukko over the pretender, don't ask me why,” she continued. “And I can't imagine the Temple of Skinfaxi being happy had I sided with the pretender, given the ideals of Princess Ljufa.”
Now all the reindeer nodded, even Mustikka. However, just as Twilight started to relax, Galderhorn spoke for the first time.
“What kind of lore are we speaking about?” he said with quiet but deep voice with a bit of rasp in it, as if it was rarely used, a mighty un-oiled engine full of grit.
What did Eira actually know that...?
“Neighcromancy,” Twilight blurted out.
Everyone stared at her.
“Reindeer magic can pierce the veil to the Summer Lands,” she said. “Unicorn magic... can't.”
She allowed herself some theatrics and actually darkened the light in the room (which came from a big window in the roof).
“Imagine speaking to the great mages of ages past... Star-Swirl the Bearded, Marelin Ambrosius, Tailiesin the Bard...” she said, genuine longing coming into her voice.
Kol started to laugh suddenly.
“And here I imagined something more dramatic and drastic, like amassing armies of draugr and helhestar and all the undead of the underworld! But no, she just wants to discuss sorcery with dead sages!” he said.
“Weren't you dying?” snarked Skiold.
“There's a neighcromancer in the room, that must be it,” said Heikko.
“He's alliterating,” said Mustikka. “He's never dying when he's alliterating.”
“Hush now, there are verses to be written, I don't have time to die!” Kol sat up.
“So what do you want from us to work against the Pretender?” said Mustikka.
“Well, I have a plan, which includes getting into his confidence, “ said Twilight. “That means I must say and act in rather treasonous ways, and it would be troublesome if you actually caught me. At the same time it would be good if somedeer was actually watching me, for three reasons.”
“And they are?” asked Mustikka.
“First, to get witnesses to what has been said, for purposes of entrapment. Second, for physical backup when necessary. Third, because you still don't trust me, and will want to watch me anyway, Sir Mustikka,” Twilight answered.
“Sounds... reasonable,” Mustikka said reluctantly and leaned back.
“So what is this plan of yours?” said Skiold.
“I thought you would never ask!” said Twilight and levitated a score of papers from the small, modest saddlebag she had brought. “Here are the necessary files and maps. Memorize them, because the ink is self-destructing and actually wears out by reading.”
The reindeer looked at the papers with raised eyebrows and leafed through them. Kol fished out a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and placed on his muzzle to read correctly. Skiold just peered nearsightedly at his. Mustikka started to sort his bunch into some fashion that made better sense to him.
“Hey, Mustikka, you are still a bachelor, aren't you?” Heikko quipped as he tried to make heads or tails of a collection of names connected by lines and rows of dots. The old scout gave him a look that rightly ought to have set fire to his antlers, but only made Kol and Skiold laugh at him.
When Twilight finally left the meeting, Spike was waiting outside. The baby dragon was sitting on a table reading a comic. He jumped down when the unicorn walked out the door.
“Hi Twilight!” he said. “How's the supervillainy going?”
Twilight snorted.
“I am at the chapter where I team up with the heroes,” she said. As no one else was around, she added: “I wish I could dispense with all the silliness.”
“Don't be like that,” Spike laughed. “Remember, if this was a cartoon you would get the coolest theme song!”
Twilight repeated her snort.
“It would probably be about me stealing the magical secrets of all the world's cultures and using them to be all-powerful or something,” she said.
“What?” asked Spike.
“Nothing. I already have a cute but irritating little critter for my sidekick, so I would probably make a great cartoon villainess,” she snarked.
“Hey!” Spike laughed.
“You'll probably switch sides in the sequel, that must be why you‘re hanging out with Vigg,” she smiled and nuzzled his spikes.
“Vigg, yeah... He... wanted to see you,” Spike frowned.
“What did he want?” Twilight asked.
“No idea,” said Spike. “Saga was even more peppy than usual, but he was disappointed about something. Oh, and his mom wanted to see you as well!”
“If Princess Ljufa wants to thank me one more time for saving her father's life, I'll turn her into a jay or something!” Twilight groaned.
“But you did!” Spike said. “Just not in the way they think! By the way, the word among the ponies here, the ones from back home I mean, is that the bomb was something called a 'balefire bomb', and that you are even more awesome than before.”
“What?!” Twilight said. “That's... just silly! First, no one has made a real balefire bomb yet. They are completely theoretical and should remain so. Second, they’re supposed to kill whole cities, not just one person. And third, no unicorn could contain the blast from a balefire bomb. I don't even think Princess Celestia could do it!”
“Oh, I forgot!” said Spike and smacked his little fist in his paw. “Celestia sent an answer to that letter you sent this morning!”
“WHAT!” Twilight stopped and glared at Spike. “Why didn't you say so earlier?!”
“It – it must have slipped my mind! Why are you screaming at me, what's so important in it?” Spike said.
“I'm sorry, I am just so anxious about it!” Twilight said. “Do you have it with you?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Spike and pulled out the rolled-up and sealed scroll from wherever baby dragons keep small things.
Twilight unrolled the letter fervently and read the elegant, swirly hornwriting of Princess Celestia.
My favorite student, Twilight Sparkle,
I must admit I have little knowledge of any affairs of the heart my beloved sister might have undertaken during that period of her life. We had begun to slowly glide apart, the first steps to that tragic disaster that would befall us both.
Furthermore, even if I knew, it would not do to tell you if she herself does not wish to do so. It must be my sister's own choice to share such personal details. Have not you yourself in your Friendship reports told me of how and when secrets are to be kept? Each pony's secrets are their own to keep, tell, or share with the whole world.
Yours,
Princess Celestia of Equestria
“Oh!” said Twilight. “I hope she isn't mad at me now! But I want to know... need to know so much!”
“What are you talking about?” said a bewildered Spike. “What did you write and ask about? What did Celestia say?” She hadn't even let him take her dictation when writing the letter.
“Old things, forgotten things that only the Princesses might know about,” Twilight sighed. “Oh, or maybe some other ancient beings... but I don't think there are any real dragons in Tarandroland I could talk to...”
Spike looked at her worried when she pondered.
“I must ask Princess Luna again,” she said and stomped her hoof. “I'll be firm... but polite... and remind her that she owes me a favor. Yeah. She's a reasonable pony. She will listen.” Her grin failed to convey any real conviction in her mission.
“What favor?” said Spike. “For what?”
“For this,” Twilight said and waved her hoof in a way that suggested her face, her hair, her dress. “You know, Spike, set up a meeting in an hour with whoever you get a hold of first, Prince Vigg or his mother. We can probably use the room we had the meeting in. I'll go reason with Princess Luna and try to get this out of my head. OK?”
“Sure,” said Spike. “You don't want me to go with you?”
“No, Spike,” Twilight sighed. “I think it'll be easier for Princess Luna to talk if there is no one else there.”
“OK,” he said. “Be nice, right?” He ran off.
“If I don't get banished to some very small and distant star,” Twilight sighed.
When Twilight entered their suite Luna was again surveying the maps she and Twilight had gotten earlier. They hovered magically in the air while Luna sketched patterns of light on them. Now and then, when she was satisfied with a sketch, a quill would fly up and fill in the lines with an ink of suitable color.
“Oh, welcome, Lady Sparkle,” said Luna when she entered but didn't turn around. “How did the meeting with the King fare?”
“Well... that is... there was no meeting,” Twilight began. Luna turned to look at her. “Not with King Ukko. He delegated. To his Companions. That meeting went well.”
“Good!” said Luna. She smiled warmly and went back to her campaign planning. “Were they sensible?”
“If – if you mean whether they listened to me, yes,” Twilight said and moved a bit closer to the Princess. “But they were very suspicious. Especially that Mustikka guy.”
“And did you lay those suspicions to rest?” Luna asked.
Twilight shook her head.
“Not really,” she confessed. “But... as you said, I think they suspect other things. As you said.” Twilight swallowed, tried to calm down and tried to smile.
“And... about that, Your Highness,” said Twilight cautiously.
“About what?” said Luna.
“This... charade that is part of your plan, Your Highness,” Twilight said. “This... act, and this disguise...”
“Oh, yes?” Luna asked.
“You know they bother me, Princess Luna,” Twilight said. “I... just think that it might be worthy of some small favor as a compensation. It is quite distressful, I must say.”
“Oh,” said Luna and put the maps down and away. “I hadn't realized how much it troubled you, Lady Sparkle. I am truly sorry!”
“Oh, don't be...” Twilight blushed.
“No no, if you have some boon to ask for, do so! By all means! We will be generous!” Luna said.
“Royal we?” said Twilight.
“Me and my sister,” Luna laughed. “Now, what was it you wanted? Spit it out!”
Twilight cleared her throat. Once. Twice. Thrice.
“Well, it’s a question of ancient lore,” she began.
Luna nodded, all ears. Twilight looked down.
“It's... oh hay!” Twilight stamped her hoof, raised her head and looked Luna in the eyes. “What was your relationship to the reindeer warlock Wiglek the Wicked, Your Highness?”
Luna's eyes widened in what truly had to be fear. Then they narrowed in anger.
“How dare you!” she hissed. “The... the impertinence!”
Twilight began to shrink back, then forced herself to stand straight. She had stood up to Luna once, when she was a darkness-infected murderous megalomaniac. She would be able to ask a simple innocent question of her as any other pony. Well, a pony that was co-ruler of the world's largest nation. And was possibly older than time. And who possessed godlike magical powers. She shrank back a bit again and averted her gaze as she entreated Luna.
“Y-your Highness... I don't mean to be rude... but there are mysteries around him I hoped to unravel,” she began. “If you didn't know him just say so, I just hoped that as an immortal being you would have...”
At the word “immortal” (Twilight would later remember that very clearly), it was Luna who shrank back, sighed deeply, then sniffed and sat down.
“Your Highness?” Twilight said and leaned in closer. She saw tears run from the eyes of the Moon Princess.
“I'm sorry, Lady Sparkle,” said Luna. “It is just a painful memory... I dealt with that scoundrel during a time when I and my sister were slowly drifting apart... I was starting to go down that horrible path, and I did some things I regret very much. And... I treated Wiglek... he truly was a wicked deer... I treated him very badly and unfairly even for someone like him.”
Twilight bent in closer and hugged Luna the way ponies do, their necks together.
“I – I am so sorry I even asked, Your Highness!” she said and felt tears welling up her own eyes.
“Don't be, oh don't be,” Luna sighed. “It is my own fault. It is just that... it might have been the first wicked thing I did, of many, when I marched on the road to Nightmare Moon. I... don't like to dwell on it. I like it not at all. It makes me so ashamed...”
Twilight wanted to carry on and just ask so much, to probe deeply in what could make the regal Lady of the Moon weep, but she couldn't. She held Luna some more, and then she said:
“I won't ask more, since it bothers you so, Your Highness. But if you ever feel the need to talk about things like that... and you need someone to talk to, please let me know!”
Luna smiled at her.
“Thank you, Lady Sparkle,” she said, “You are truly worthy of a boon, and I will give you anything else you want.”
Twilight smiled back.
“Your Highness, you look horrible,” she said. “As your hoofmaiden, it’s my duty to freshen you up. Let's talk about boons some other time, perhaps in Canterlot where things can easily be arranged.”
After she had finished cleaning off the Princess, reapplying her makeup and brushed her mane, Twilight stepped out of the suite and into the corridor. She needed some time, somewhere, alone with herself to think. If her head wasn't clear she wouldn't be able to meet with Vigg and Ljufa later. Well, not without making even more a fool of herself.
What did she want? More than ever she wanted to know about Wiglek, not just who the mother of his child was but what he and Luna had done. Luna thought she was a bad pony because of it, but was it true? And how?
Twilight clenched her teeth.
“I want to know, but no one can tell me,” she began as she marched back and forth in the corridor. “Princess Luna won't tell me, and I can't ask again because it would be like kicking a puppy. There seem to be no descendants of Sampo. At least not who are alive.”
“And I certainly can't ask Wiglek,” she said as she rubbed her forehead with her hoof, “because he has been dead a thousand years. And you... cannot... speak... with the dead...”
She slowly raised he gaze as she spoke and stared intensely into empty air. She remembered the meeting that morning, and the half-truths she had told to the King's Companions.
“Except some reindeer can speak with the dead,” she said tunelessly. “Saga can speak with the dead, and if a thousand years is too far back for her to summon a shadow her grandmother is a more powerful sorceress. And she taught Saga the spell, so she knows it.”
She started to walk back and forth again.
“And Saga said you needed their gift-antlers, but Princess Luna mentioned as a curiosity that they have what supposedly is Wiglek's antlers in the temple!” she finished. “It's perfect! I can study a revolutionary magical method, I can sate my curiosity... and Vigg's! I don't need to put the Princess in distress, and I can get the story straight from... well, not the horse's mouth, but the corpse's mouth!”
Twilight giggled, then laughed and started to skip down the corridor in the direction of the Sun Room. The palace staff became distressed enough by that. They became actually frightened when she started to sing a little old commercial Nightmare Night jingle from when she was a filly...
A corpse is a corpse, of course, of course.
And no one can talk to a corpse, of course.
But I, of course
Can speak to a corpse
'cause I can speak with the Dead!
Thanks to LadyMoondancer and Wheelwright for their wonderful help with proofreading. And to answer a question on FF.net: despite that wonderful help, I have not dared submit this to Equestria daily. I don't think I can fit their high standards.