Babs took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her hoof travelled to the imaginary sword strapped to her side and her eyes shot open as she spun around on the spot. “If thy intention is to stalk, perhaps you might consider practising stealth. Show thyself, coward who would hide in the shadows!”
Diamond Tiara adjusted her tiara before stepping out onto the stage floor, approaching Babs from the front. “And here We thought Our skills would equal even Our father’s.”
“P-Princess!” Babs quickly righted herself and lowered down to one knee, bowing her head so deep her face almost made contact with the floor. “A thousand pardons! Had I known it was you-”
“Rise thy head, good knight Francisco. Pray tell, how did thou knowest of Our presence following your every move?”
“… As thy knight, it is my job to be always vigilant of my surroundings. However, Your Majesty’s presence was indeed expertly hidden, to the point that I could not even identify thee without facial confrontation.”
Diamond Tiara giggled. “Actually, We wished to speak with thee in private, but it seems the Royal Guard is sorely lacking in this area…”
“When I noticed an unknown presence tailing my shadow, I sought to confine it to an area whereby I couldst fight without injuring others.”
“So thou dragged Us here to cross swords?” Babs nodded. “Wouldst thou still care for a light spar with the blade?”
“M-My lady, I couldn’t-”
“At ease. We merely jest, Francisco. As we hath already made clear, We simply wish to speak with thee. Nothing more.”
“… By all means, my lady. As your knight, I am here to be of whatever service I may be able to offer to you.”
Diamond shook her head. “Neigh. We wish to speakest to not Our knight, but Our good friend since childhood.”
Babs looked around for a moment with a cautious look on her face, before turning back to Diamond Tiara. “I pray Your Majesty doth not intend to speak to me about that Prince of whom has caught thine eye.”
Diamond Tiara blushed and turned to walk towards an imaginary window, gazing up at the ceiling above her as if there was a beautiful night sky above her head. “‘Tis truth that Our heart does yearn for his sweet embrace. His soft words flowing into Our ears, and his hold so gentle as to wash away all pain We hath endured in this war. Good Francisco, We-”
“My lady, though he may be a kinder stallion than many, he is our enemy no less.”
“Even so, Our feelings cannot be denied. Yea, We love him.”
Babs shook her head. “Love is no game, Your Majesty. Tread lightly this path, and be sure your feelings hold true.”
“Then allows Us to shout it from the top of this very window: I love Sir Montague of Earth!”
“And so do I,” a voice called out behind Babs. Both Babs and Diamond turned around suddenly to see Apple Bloom walking towards them. “So do Ah, Prince Montague of Earth, swear my love for Princess Capoolet of Unicornya!”
“Cut!” Trixie shouted, stepping onto the stage where the three fillies were gagging over the lines they had just performed. “Well, that was certainly a great improvement on your part, Babs.”
“Y’think so?” Babs asked, brushing a hoof through her mane as she gave her teacher a smug grin. “Yeah, this is ain’t so hard ta get, y’know?”
“Good attitude!” Trixie said with a smile. “Keep that up! That optimism is what’ll make you big someday!” ‘I have no idea how she got past that little problem of hers. I guess I just must be a better teacher than I first though.’
“Can we have some mouthwash after these kinds of scenes?” Diamond asked, stilling gagging along with Apple Bloom. “Even if it’s just acting, talking about liking that blank flank is-”
“Get used to it,” Trixie said. “You’ll be kissing her soon enough, so what do a few words matter?”
“About that,” Applejack said, approaching Trixie from behind, “Are ya absolutely sure the kissin’ scene is necessary?”
“Oh my dear Applejack,” Trixie said, shaking her head as she approached the farmer. “You don’t know much about the theatrical arts, do you?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Well Trixie does,” Trixie said. “Trixie has a degree from Celestia’s School where she majored in Magical Arts, and minored in Theatrical Arts. Trixie knows how the world of theatre works, so trust Trixie when she says that the kissing scene is the most vital scene of all.”
“But-”
“After all, you wouldn’t like it if Trixie, a showmare who has never worked a day on an apple orchard her entire life, were to suddenly question the methods with which you use to buck trees, now would you?”
“Ah guess not, but ah just don’t see why they can’t simply fake it?”
“Because it wouldn’t be convincing enough,” Trixie said. “It’s bad enough we have to rely on wooden props for weapons and to have a gap between the fillies when they’re fighting. The Great and Powerful Trixie is trying to teach real theatre here!”
“Then why not jus’ make it a kiss on the forehead, or on the cheek?”
“Because that doesn’t have the right level of impact. Especially not when their final kiss at the end is followed by the dual-suicide pact they both take. That kiss cannot be anything less than on the lips.”
“Ah’d better get mah Cutie Mark from this,” Apple Bloom muttered.
“If you want your Cutie Mark that badly, then work on pronouncing the words as they are meant to be pronounced!” Trixie said as she turned to Apple Bloom. “You keep mispronouncing words, and it’s dragging your performance down!” Trixie heard Diamond Tiara giggling and turned to face her. “You, on the other hoof, have the opposite problem. You do a fine job pronouncing your lines correctly, but your tone of voice is simply… far too casual. And modern. At least Apple Bloom can make her voice sound like a Prince’s.”
“Right, well, it’s already past noon now,” Applejack said as she looked over to the clock on the far wall. “How ‘bout we let ‘em all take a break an’ go get some pizza?”
“Pizza?!” Apple Bloom and Babs exclaimed in unison.
“There will be time for pizza later! After they are done practising!” Trixie declared, turning to face Applejack, only to find the farmer giving her a stern stare. With a sigh, Trixie said: “Fine. One last scene, then pizza.” The fillies cheered, and the two mares made their ways offstage to watch as the fillies acted out their next scene of the day.