My eyes focused on the deck. My vision blocked everything out except for the Nimitz and the 'meatball' off to the side of her flight deck. Suddenly the headphones in my helmet burst to life.
"Skipper you're at three quarters of a mile. Call the ball. ILS 1-0-8-1-0; heading 3-6-0."
"This is Skipper, ah got the ball."
As the Nimitz got bigger in my windscreen I began pulling back on the throttle. As I got over the stern of the ship I chopped the throttle and waited.
* THUD*
I slammed the throttle forward and waited. Nothing. I cut the throttle and raised the arrester hook and taxied to the lift just forward of the island. As the lift lowered my Tomcat down to the hanger deck I unhooked my mask from my helmet and began to instantly daydream of my bunk and the nap that awaited me. As the jet was pulled over to the servicing area of the hanger deck I raised the canopy and unbuckled from my ejection seat. 'Goddamn this helmet's uncomfortable' With that thought I took off my helmet and placed it on the control column and replaced it with my old, worn stetson.
"How the hell have you not destroyed that hat yet?"
I turned around to see my WSO and best friend Austin (Call sign: Dragon) looking at me over his instrument panel.
"Because it was my old man's and ah ain't never gunna let nothing happen to it."
"Well your old man was one hell of a guy."
"He never liked you ya know."
"I know. I figured it out way back when we were young. Remember his nickname for me?"
"Yeah, ah do. Dumbass."
When the plane had stopped moving we climbed out and began to walk towards the debriefing room. After twenty minutes of mind-numbing boardom we finally got out of there and hauled ass for the mess. After getting our food we proceeded to sit in our normal spot at the same table, honestly if it wasn't for some of my routine I would have gone mad a long time ago. We were joined by some of the other pilots and weapons system officers who proceeded to strike up several conversations while I sat and ate my pathetic excuse of a salad. As I ate my dinner some of them attempted to get me to talk.
"You gunna talk to us today Skip?"
"Nnope."
"Is that all you can say?"
"Eeyup."
Their attempts again failed to get anymore than my normal vocabulary for anyone who wasn't my friend's or family. As I sat and listened to the talk continue around me the conversation turned to the original Jolly Rogers. The talk consisted mostly of Kepford and 'Old 29'. But amongst the chatter there was mention of Corsair number 13 and Lieutenant Jones. With that I decided my dinner was over and proceeded to throw my half eaten salad in the garbage. I began the surprisingly quiet walk back to my bunk. I finally reached my bunk and flopped face first on to the mattress, falling asleep almost instantly. After what felt like only a few seconds of sleep I heard the non too pleasant sound of Austin attempting to wake me.
"Hey. Hey, Jimmy, get your ass up."
"Fuck off. ah'm sleeping." I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.
"Alright. But you've left me no choice."
A few seconds later I was launched from my bunk by Austin flipping my mattress.
"Ok, ok, ah'm up. Asshole." I grumbled as I got up off the floor. I grabbed my stetson and walked over to place my mattress back on my bed.
"The Captain wants us on deck. The boys in radar spotted an aircraft and they can't contact them so they want us to go check it out."
"Great. Who are they sending up with us?" I began walking down the corridor towards the hanger bay with Austin close behind.
"Donovan and Tarr."
"The new guy's?" I looked over my shoulder to see Austin nodding his head. "Fuck. Can't they send someone more experienced up with us?"
"Apparently because we're the most experienced and we're the ship's top flyer's they want us to take them up cause it's just a routine intercept."
"Just cause we're the old men of thirty five and got more chin's than a Hong Kong phone book don't mean we're a goddamn babysitting service."
"I told 'em that Skip but they didn't listen."
We reached the hanger bay and climbed into our Tomcat which was then pulled over to the lift. When we got up to the flight deck I saw my wing man for this flight, William Donovan (Call sign: Hawk) and his WSO John Tarr (Call sign: Cobra) closing the canopy on their Tomcat. When both engines on my Tomcat were up and running I throttled forward just enough to get up to about walking speed and taxied over to the catapults. While the nose wheel was being hooked up I noticed some dark storm clouds off to the west.
"Dragon, did the Cap mention any weather when he told you we were going up?"
"Nope, he didn't Skip. But I don't like the looks of those clouds."
"Me either." I looked down to see the hook up man signaling me that we were hooked up to the catapult. "Alright Dragon we're good to go. And if you have Roger in control play Danger Zone from that movie you saw in port again ah will crawl over yer instrument panel and kick yer ass."
"Fine" Austin replied with obvious disappointment in his voice.
I gave the thumbs up to the shooter and braced for launch. The best way to describe it is like a punch to the chest. When that catapult sends you forward it shoves you back in your seat, it makes roller coasters look like chicken shit compared to this. The Tomcat flew forward and was at approximately 150 knots in two seconds. A few seconds after launch I managed to get it together and raised the landing gear and flaps. I circled a few times and was joined by Hawk and Cobra in their Tomcat before we leveled out.
"Dragon, what's the position of that bogey?"
"It's about a hundred and sixty miles out, inbound on a heading of 2-7-0."
"Skipper, that's right into that storm out there."
"Yeah ah know Hawk but we gotta do this. Orders ya know?"
"Great. My first real intercept and it's in a fucking thunderstorm."
"Hey watch your fucking language!" Austin called over with mock seriousness in his voice.
After about fifteen minutes the rain began to pelt our windscreens as we got closer to the blip on our radar. Austin was the first to speak up.
"Looks like he's alone Skipper. I'm only seeing one on my radar."
"Same over here sir. Looks like he's a single. Should we break and come in on his other side?" was the slightly nervous sounding question from Hawk. 'Fucking rookies.'
"No, just stay on my wing."
"Yes, sir." As we got closer there was obvious worry as we tried again and again to contact the aircraft.
"Uh, Skipper?! I don't think he's alone! Two, no wait four, signatures just popped out from him. I think they were using him to hide themselves from our radar ." Austin was frantic as the four new bogey's began speeding towards us.
"Shit! Ok let's stay calm boys. Hawk, don't fire 'less fired upon. Got it?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Now, lets see who our new little buddies are." I pushed the throttle forward and began closing the gap between us and them even faster. After about thirty seconds four specks appeared in the center of my windscreen and grew bigger by the second. Then four large blur's accompanied by the roar of eight Klimov RD-33 turbofans flew past us at near Mach 4 with our combined speeds. Now was the 'easy' part, intercept them in the storm. We banked hard right, pulling at least 5G's, and gave chase to the now evasive Mig-29's. I scanned the sky's, which by now were illuminated by the lightning that danced between the black storm clouds, before seeing two Mig's skimming along a few meters above the water. I called "Tally ho" and dived, pulling up directly behind the two Mig's.
"Alright Dragon, let's see if a missile lock 'll scare these sons a bitch's outta here."
I got a missile lock on the lead plane and saw them almost instantly pull up into a nearly strait up vertical climb.
"Good job Skipper! We scared those Russkies shitless!" Austin called up, laughing so hard he was beginning to tear up. Our joy was soon dashed as there was a call for help from Hawk.
"Skipper! I got two on my six and I can't shake them! What do I do?! One's trying to get a lock on me!"
"Calm down. What maneuvers you used so far?"
"The one's they taught us in flight training."
"Alright, forget that shit and do as I say."
"Ok."
"On my mark chop the throttle, pull up, go inverted, once they're passed roll over, full throttle, and get a missile lock on 'em."
"I didn't understand one word of that Skip." Austin said with a chuckle. The bastard could lose a leg and still make jokes about it.
"Dragon, shut up."
"Fine."
"Uh, hello?! Mig on my ass. Could use some help!"
"Ok. On my mark... NOW!" I watched as on my mark Hawk pulled off the maneuver perfectly. The Mig's flew right past him and kept going. I pulled up alongside his left wing. He finally got a missile on the lead Mig which immediately banked hard left and dived trying to get as low as possible. We breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short lived as 30mm rounds zipped by our planes. In the excitement we had failed to notice the other two Mig's that I had chased had now snuck up behind us.
"They're shooting at us, they're shooting at us!"
"No shit Sherlock!"
"Will you fella's shut yer pie holes! Break and engage!" Now I was pissed. The only thing on my mind was to blow these Russian fighters to bits, and the rookies weren't helping with their bickering. Hawk banked hard right and gave chase to one of the Mig's while I waited for the perfect time to out smart the pilots. I pulled the same maneuver Hawk used to get behind the Mig's and quickly got a missile lock on the first fighter and launched one of the AIM-9 sidewinders. The missile went right up the exhaust of his right engine, engulfing the Mig in the fire ball that destroyed it in less than a second. By now the heavens had opened up and were throwing everything they had at us, including hail.
"Skip this storm's getting worse by the second, we need to get above it!"
"Dragon we're taking out those Mig's and we're doin' it now!" I banked left and scanned the sky's for Hawk and the remaining Mig's. I finally saw them in a forty-five degree climb as lightning arched across the sky, striking the Mig's and our two Tomcats. The strike had no effect on our aircraft and we continued the chase as the Mig's suddenly rolled over and dived, quickly followed by us. We pulled up at about ten meters and quickly got a lock on the Mig's but were too close.
"Skipper, we're too close. We need to use the guns."
"Ah know Hawk, just shoot the bastard's already!" I flipped the switch from missiles to guns and fired a short burst into one of the Mig's wing's which surprisingly was sheered off by the burst sending it tumbling down and exploding on impact. 'Wait, why would there be all that fire if we're over water. And where was the splash?' I brushed the thought aside and continued the onslaught against the Mig's until only one remained. We skimmed along at only a few meters and tried again and again to shoot down the last Mig, failing every time. As we continued the chase the storm started to dissipate, revealing what had passed through my mind earlier. We were no longer over the water anymore but were flying down a small valley instead.
"Uh Skipper, where the fuck are we?" Hawk was now obviously as confused as I was about this.
"Ah ain't gotta clue. Lets just get that Mig, then we can figure this shit out."
"Yes, sir."
We again focused our attention to the fighter as we flew just over the roof tops of a small town. The beeping of the missile guidance system was annoying as hell, until the sweet, sweet sound of the solid tone was droning in my ear's. "Gotcha." I fired an AIM-7 Sparrow and grinned as the Mig was blown to bit's in a giant fireball that rained shards of metal upon the field's below.
"Way to go Skipper!"
"Thanks Hawk. Now lets figure this out."
"Well, there was that town a ways back. We could land in one of the fields outside of town and check it out."
"Well since ah don't think we're in radio range for the Nimitz anymore it's about the only thing that could help. Let's do some recon of the town first before we do that though."
"Alright."
"Lets get to ten thousand and then slow down and circle the town a few times before we land."
"Ok."
At the lower speeds it took us a half hour to get back over the town. We began a circle over the town and began the recon run.
"No flak guns visible. That's good."
"No airbase's within view. No enemy fighter's nearby."
"How big that town look to you Skipper? About two to three hundred max?"
"Eeyup"
We began descending and made a lower pass over the town, beginning to notice some thing's that you can't at ten thousand feet. We started the pass over what we now recognized as an apple orchard, continuing over the town and passing over what we assumed to be town hall. The town looked like it was still hunkered down from the storm due to the lack of any life in the street's below. But what we didn't see was the shutters opening up after we had flown past and curious heads popping out to watch us.
"Well Skipper it looks safe. If the town was hostile there'd be flak guns everywhere and they'd use this low pass to their advantage."
"Alright. Town's clear. Let's speed up get a few miles out then turn back and line up with the field below us. Got it?"
"Yeah. Ok, let's do thi... Skipper, look to your right."
I turned and saw something out of a children's book.
"Is that a fuckin' pegasus?!"
"Eeyup" Austin said in his best southern drawl, mocking my typical one word answer's.
There, flying in formation between our Tomcat's, was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail staring wide eyed at us. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Austin waving wildly at it, it raising a hoof and slowly waving back.
"Uh, Skip? How is that thing able to keep up with us? We're doing about two hundred and fifty knots, how's this possible?"
"There's a goddamned pegusus outside and you want to know how it can keep up?! I think we got bigger problems than a flying horse keeping pace with us Hawk."
"Are we still going to land?"
"No, ah figured we'd punch out over a Jimmy Buffet concert. Yes we're going to land!"
"No need to be snippy Skipper."
"Alright let's turn around and land. Maybe something down there 'll make some sorta sense."
We banked right and lined up with the field a few miles away. The pegasus had broken away and back towards town. In the meantime we lowered the landing gear and put in two notches of flaps trying to slow down to avoid ripping the nose gear off on impact with the muddy ground below. We were a quarter-mile from the field and coming in perfectly. We lowered the flaps all the way and braced for the worst.
*THUD*
I looked over and saw that Hawk was safely on the ground and was giving me a thumbs up about the landing. We began trying to brake but mud had flung up onto the brake pads, causing us to let the planes slow on their own. Finally, most of the way across the field, the Tomcat's jerked to a stop. We raised the canopies and lowered the ladders on the side of the fighters before we began to climb out of our aircraft. I stepped down from the final rung of the ladder and turned around and was met face to with the blue pegasus that had been flying along side us. After recovering from the mini heart attack from having a mythical creature in my face, I decided to ignore it and began checking the plane for any damage. When Austin stepped down his reaction was as I had expected.
"Oh my god! James look at it! It's so cute and cuddly !"
That's when the biggest surprise of today went from weird to flat out freaky.
"Do I look cute and cuddly to you?!"
I turned around to see Austin staring at the pegasus with his jaw hanging with shock written all across his face.
"Austin? Who just said that? Please tell me y'all 're just screwin' with me."
Austin shook his head and continued to stare at the pegasus in front of him. By this time we were joined by Will and John who were standing under the wing with me.
"What's the matter with him?"
"Apparently the horse can talk."
Will's jaw dropped while John maintained his blank expression and said nothing. I went back to inspecting the plane for damage before remembering why we were here in the field to begin with.
"Fellas? Ah think we should head for town. Maybe there's someone there who can help us get outta here."
"Skipper's right. We should go. I doubt this place could get any weirder." John grabbed a canteen out of the survival kit of my Tomcat before rejoining us. "Besides, it's not like there are unicorns or something here too." I thought I heard a snicker from the pegasus who was still in a staring match with Austin.
"Alright let's go. John, splash some water on his dumbass and snap him out of it." I pointed towards Austin with that last part before slowly walking in the direction of town. I hear a small splash and some cussing behind me from Austin. 'Dumbass' I was soon joined by the others, and the pegasus flying along side us.
"So who are you guys?"
I glanced at the pegasus out of the corner of my eye but didn't respond. But with his typical happy demeanor back Austin went forward with the introductions.
"Well I'm Lieutenant Austin Miller. These are Lieutenant's Will Donavon and John Tarr. And he's Lieutenant Commander James Jones. We're flyer's with VF-84."
"So what are those things you were in?"
"F-14A Tomcat's" My speaking up seemed to have startled her a bit as she was now focused on Austin.
"What were those thing's you launched at that other one? They looked like overgrown fireworks."
"AIM-9 and AIM-7 air to air missiles."
"Speaking of that thing you guys shot at, you may want to let me fly ahead and warn everypony so there's not an angry mob after you."
"Ok."
With that she took fight and sped off towards town. I turned to Austin who was standing beside me. "Everypony?"
Austin shrugged his shoulders as he watched the pegasus do a couple of loops before returning to her flight towards the town. Why did I get the feeling that the entire town was ponies. After a few minutes she returned, but with five other horses or ponies or whatever the fuck they are.
"Guys, these are my friends Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack." She pointed a hoof at the pony as she listed off their names. I couldn't help but notice the last one was wearing a stetson not unlike mine. At least she's got good taste. With the introductions out of the way the one she had introduced as Twilight stepped forward with a stern and slightly pissed look on her face.
"Princess Celestia would like to have a word with you."
'Shit'