//------------------------------// // Letter: Inquiry Into The First Ceremony // Story: Open This Immediately! // by Kenneth Invictus //------------------------------// To: Truth Seeker 322 Skywalker Way Baltimare, Equestria, Universe 64 From: The Multiversal Church of Pinkamena Triumphant 4th Wall Street Ponyville, Equestria, Universe 42 To Whom it May Concern: Thank you for writing to us. We here at the Cult of Pinkamena are always happy to answer any and all questions that you have regarding Her. We hope that we can cultivate your interest enough that you may one day join us in our worship of Her. As to your question: You have asked if the manuscript you have found in your universe is the true story of Her beginning. Mainly, the First Ceremony. We understand your confusion, since in many different places, there are multiple versions of the tale that are spread around to others. When the Church was first founded, we admit we were not sure ourselves about Her Origin. We searched tomes around the multiverse, scoured documents and parchment. Then one of us got a brilliant (and simple) idea. Let's just ask Her. She gave us the truth. The Beginning. From Her humble beginnings, to Her current Godhood, She gave it all, and we have written it down, to be passed down for generations. The basics we share to all. As for the more detailed stuff, we have a few books in our catalog for differing amounts of donations. Some may tell these corrupted stories in ignorance, believing that which is not true. To those, we offer education on the truth, so that they may better spread Her word. Others spread lies and misinformation, so that others are led away in horror and shock, so that we may be hindered. To those, we offer nothing but our scorn. As to the specific manuscript you have given, it is filled with some of the common errors and mistakes. You have seemed to notice some of them, and have astutely pointed them out to us. Allow us to shine the light onto the truth. First, the manuscript has Rainbow Dash,the Element of Loyalty, begging and pleading for her life during the entire Ceremony. This is a complete fabrication that could not be further from the truth. Rainbow Dash, in fact, was eagerly part of the Ceremony. Pinkamena (Known only to her friends by her nickname, Pinkie Pie) and Rainbow Dash were best of friends in their normal life. Why would that change now? When She knew she should start the Red Cupcake Ceremony, who else but her loyal friend would willingly give her life so that she may Begin? If she wept, it was tears of joy as Pinkamena worked on her. We have been told of the puns and jokes they shared as the Ceremony went on, as long as her mortal body would hold out. But eventually, despite as hard as She tried to prolong it, the Ceremony, like all Ceremonies, must eventually end. When Pinkamena saw this was about to happen, before Rainbow Dash passed on, she pointed out to a star outside. She told the Element of Loyalty "Do you see that star, Dashie? That's you. You’re going to be up there, always looking over us. And one day, you’re going to come get me. And that's a Pinkie Promise." We've been told that Rainbow Dash smiled weakly, and hugged her friend one last time before passing on. But do not weep. For one day, Rainbow Dash will hug us as well, for when a member of the Church dies, it is Rainbow Dash herself that comes for us, to take us to the Summer Glens, our reward. What exactly is the Summer Glens? To put it simply, it is our version of Heaven. It is a place where we can, one day, be with Her forever, as well as those who have come before us. Now, unto the other parts of the story. This is the First Ceremony, so other Ceremonies should have taken place AFTER this, not before. This is important because the results of other Ceremonies are anachronistically used in this story. Also, while Gilda DID have a parasprite shoved down her throat, it was not during a Ceremony, but during a battle between the neophyte Church and the Griffon Empire, due to it being on hoof at the time. Another mistake is that she was assisted by either Apple Bloom or Scootaloo, dependent on the text. Others state that foals such as Twist and others were horribly tortured and killed. This is a complete and total fabrication. Pinkamena, and by extension, the Church, does not condone the injuring or torture of children of any age. We are not monsters, after all. As to assisting, only adults are allowed to be a part of a Ceremony, either as a Participant, a watcher, or as a High Priest. While all three members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders did assist Pinkamena at their proper time, they were grown mares when they did so. While there are multiple other mistakes, they fall outside the scope of your letter. However, if you are interested, please contact us again, and we will give you a free guidebook, stating how you may start your journey into the Church, Until then, we hope that your search for the truth guides her into Her Embrace. Her Will Be Done New Order High Priest