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// Chapter 4: Nightmares of Reality 
// Story: A Bitter Heart: The Story of RedTails 
// by RedStar76 
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           After having my privacy completely disrespected by that meddlesome unicorn Twilight, I go to bed with that all to familiar feeling in my heart, jabbing away at me like needles. That mare in that picture, is the only mare I ever looked up to. My mother passed away due to giving birth to me. I learned that she was critically ill at the time of my birth, and that I should be really lucky that something didn't happen to me. Lucky? Me being the cause of my own mother's death? Is that considered lucky?! 
That picture, it was of my fifth birthday.  The memories of that day, a day when my sister and I were happy. She had always watched over me, and she was always there. The day my sister had her accident that caused her to end up in the hospital keeps flashing through my mind during the night. I held my head low while trying to shake the memories away. If I had nearly half the strength I had now, I would have smashed that stupid cart in half! But no... no, instead of crashing into me like it should have, she pushed me. If I had my power, if I were only stronger.
She pushed me out of the way 
All because I was weak.
If only I were stronger.
If only...
"You know it was your fault," I hear my own voice mocking me. "This power. It is all that we have. You honestly think she would want to see you after what happened? Please, you must be honest with yourself."
"Shut up!" I yell into absolute darkness. 
"Why bother telling me to shut up? I'm you!" my own voice replied. "Your very existence cost the life of a pony. Now that I think about, sister could already be dead, so it's probably two ponies now!" I shook my head in the darkness, hoping that this torment would just end. "Destruction will not seize! You ran away like a coward! You wanted to get stronger so that we would not have to depend on ANYPONY!" I shook my head more and more but it just wouldn't stop coming. "It was probably the only smart thing you have ever done in your entire life RedTails! We found the meaning of our existence, and that is to use our power to our hearts content!"   
I can't help but whimper in my sleep as I toss, and turn unable to sleep peacefully. Suddenly I feel a hoof gently nudging at me, and I suddenly sit up panting heavily, with sweat dripping from my brow. I breathe heavily as I look to see Twilight sitting on her haunches beside me, giving me a look of concern.
“Shh… it’s just me RedTails, it’s just me,” I feel her rub at my shoulder with her hoof as she gives me a sad smile. I calm down a bit as I can feel my tears sting my eyes as I look into hers. “RedTails, I'm really sorry about looking in your bag. I had no right to be doing that sort of thing, I'm really sorry,” she said as she slightly hung her head. 
"N-no Twilight, I-I'm fine it's just...it's just..." Darn it I think to myself. As much as I fought to hold it back, I could clearly feel a few stray tears going down my cheeks. I wanted to wipe them away, but I just couldn't stop shaking. 
"Please RedTails, tell me what happened," she asks with great concern in her voice. I clench my eyes shut tightly to prevent my tears from shedding, and acting like a big baby in front of her. I relax them, keeping them closed, and inhale deeply, exhaling deeply as I open them back up. I look at her and sigh heavily. “Well, that mare in the picture is...my sister.” She remains silent as I give her a nod.
“Yes, I don't want to get into all my life history with you Twilight, but she was the only mare I ever looked up to, and she is the only one who has taken care of me since I was little.” I let out another heavy sigh. I feel her rub at my shoulder some more.
“Redtails, what do you mean by 'was'," I hear her ask. "Where is your sister now? How come are you're all alone?” She gave me a look of deep concern.
“Twilight, I appreciate you and your friends’ concern for me, but I just don’t want to explain my personal life anymore, okay?” I look at her seriously. "I know that...you and your friends are trying to help but..." That's when I felt a feeling I hadn't felt in ages... warmth. 
She was hugging me.
Twilight was hugging me.
She lowered me gently onto my back as I could feel my head touch the pillow. But when I looked up, I didn't see Twilight.
I saw an earth pony with a white coat and a pink tail and mane.
The voice in the back of my head had been silenced. I felt Twilight rub my mane. She gives me a sad nod. 
“Okay Redtails. I hope you get a good rest for the night, okay?” She gives me a soft smile. It was Twilight's voice, but at the same time, it wasn't.
“Thank you... Twilight,” I give her a slight nod as I close my eyes softly. I hear her say something, but I couldn't make out what, because I was already in a haze.
They just wouldn't understand. For that night, I was on the verge of calling Twilight...sister.
The morning after...
As I start to stir in my sleep, I can feel the warmth of Celestia’s sun shining on me through the window. I let out a soft yawn, blinking my eyes tiredly.  Mm… something sure does smell good I think to myself as a mouth-watering aroma teases my senses. I slowly open my eyes to find that there is a tray in my lap with a plate of hay cakes, a couple slays of hay bacon, and a glass of orange juice.
"Where did this come from?" I think out loud when I then heard the familiar caring tone of Twilight. 
“Good morning RedTails.” I turn to see her trotting out of the kitchen, coming up the stairs, and sitting on her haunches next to me at the side of the bed. “I decided to make you some breakfast. I hope that's okay,” she gives me a hopeful smile.
I give her a kind nod in return. 
“It’s okay Twilight. I am a bit hungry anyways, thank you.” I give her a soft smile as I start to eat at my plate of hay cakes. I finish off the first bite of my breakfast “Mm… these are very good Twi…” I cut myself off as I look to see, not the face of Twilight, but of my...sister? I shake my head, and reach up with my fore hooves to rub at my eyes.
“RedTails, are you okay?” I hear Twilight’s voice say. I blink my eyes to focus, only to see that it is just Twilight.
Just Twilight.
“O…oh yes… I'm okay.” I rub at my forehead. “I think I am still exhausted from last night, I didn't get that much sleep. That's all.” I say. She gives me a nod. 
“I guess so. “ I could still clearly see that she was worried. Why is she concerned about me? “RedTails, I've talked with my friends, and we've decided to take you with us to visit Canterlot in a couple days. We're going to see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna and I'm sure they'll be very glad to meet you.” She gives me a hopeful smile. Huh, so my suspicions were correct. Although, now that I think about, it might not be all that bad. It might be a really good time, meeting the princess. I think as I give her a nod. 
“That sounds good…I guess.” I finish up the last bit of my breakfast. “Those were very good Twilight, thank you.” I give her a slight smile, and hand her back the tray. She uses her magic to levitate the tray.
“You are very welcome RedTails. I will be right back,” she says as she trots back down the stairs and into the kitchen with my empty dishes. She returns after a couple minutes, and sits back down by the bed. I see her place a hoof gently on mine and look at me with a sympathetic look. 
“RedTails, I believe you should get some more rest. After last night, there is no telling what could happen if you got out of bed, having not much sleep.” I guess she notices that I am real tired. I let out a soft yawn as I give her a nod, blinking my eyes tiredly. 
“That sounds like a good idea Twilight.” I say as I softly turn onto my side, and close my eyes to drift off to sleep. I feel her pull the blankets up, followed by a hoof slowly rubbing my back gently. I hope after I go see Princess Celestia, Twilight and the others will let me continue on my way...