//------------------------------// // .Mov Revenge // Story: Cupcakes A$$ Kicking. // by thewaffler //------------------------------// .Mov Revenge Sorry for the wait, but here it is, one of the most requested chapter subjects. For fans of the .Mov series, try to take everything in stride and remember it's just a story. Also this takes place before the last .Mov video came out. Fluttershy.Mov Fluttershy got up early in morning like she did everyday to feed and look after the animals that called her property home. After she was done she went to her computer and checked her email; it contained the usual confirmation messages that her mane extensions have been shipped and her newsletter from Cuddles Monthly, but today there was a video link sent to her from a user titled: MHDante. Thinking it would be rude not to click on the link and knowing that her safety filters were on, she opened the video. "Shed.mov? Umm...I have a shed where I keep my animal feed." Three Minutes Later "Hu-uh Hu-uh Hu-uh Gluaaaaaaaah!" The now visibly green, butter yellow pegasus wiped her face with a paper towel as her animal friends went and grabbed her a glass of water and some anti-acid tablets. "It-it was terrible... all the blood and the toaster cozy...um...I'm never be able to face Applejack's cousin LumberJack ever again..." Fluttershy whimpered curled into the fetal position on her couch. Sadly, the element of kindness wasn't the only one in Ponyville that received the mysterious email. Rarity.Mov In the carousel Boutique a white unicorn ordering some fabrics from Bullroot for some high end cotton. When the task was done, she like most ponies checked her status updates, messed around on Thumplr and checked her email account. "Any link titled Dress.mov is obviously bait...I shall delete this at once." That was easier said than done as the moment Rarity tried to delete the message; it sprung its trap and played its contents. Of course, the fashionista had a negative reaction to the moving images presented to her and fainted shortly after seeing a morbidly obese version of herself hock a lugey into a cup and call it water. Luckily, her fainting sofa was there just as she was about to pass out. After her short reprieve into dreamland Rarity awoke full of anger. "A lady doesn't get upset by such slanderous filth, but...I WILL DESTROY THEM." *THUNDER CRACKLE* "Um...Rarity, who are you talking to?" Thoughts of revenge were interrupted as Sweetie trotted into the room curious over why her older sibling was shouting at the top of her lungs. "Sweetie, I am just having one of my many emotional breakdowns...um..." Seeing that her sister was still in the room, Rarity levitated her purse to her and withdrew a few gold coins. "Here's some bits Sweetie, why don't you go to a movie?" "Ooh, okay, can I have a few more bits for food there?" "Fine, now please go I need to uh... work on something very important." The older pony tossed a hoof full of bits to her younger sibling that promptly left the room. Pinkie.Mov Like what had happened to the other two elements of harmony, Pinkie was sent a mysterious Youtube link. "Party.Mov, great I love parties, especially with cake and streamers and chocolate..." Twelve minutes later, the fuchsia pony had lost all the color in her face and her mane looked like it had been popped with a carpet tac. She just stared at the computer screen, got up slowly gave Gummy a quick pat on the head, picked up her cell phone and dialed the number of a familiar Rock Farm. "M-mommy c-c-can you...put the phone on speaker?" "Is everything okay, Pinkie?" The Pie family matriarch took notice of her normally happy daughter's downcast tone. The pink mare took a deep breath and recomposed herself. "Ummm... c-can you just please put the phone on speaker and bring daddy into the room?" Roxy did as her daughter requested. "Okay we're both here for you honey." "What's wrong my little rose quartz?" Clyde asked with concern in his voice. "I LOVE YOU MOMMY AND DADDY!!!" Pinkie yelled over the phone as she broke down into a river of tears. Applejack.Mov "...Okay I love them apples, but I would never do that to Spike and what they did to Applebloom was mighty unforgivable." Applejack deadpanned as she left the room with Big Mac trailing behind her. "Hey sis. Ya need me to take care of this?" "Nah, you've had yer fun, now it's mah turn." The orange flexed a hoof into the air. Rainbow.Mov Just as the others had done this morning a certain Rainbow maned mare had clicked on a rather disturbing Youtube link. After Rainbow Dash was done watching an even more obnoxious version of herself on screen doing terrible things and then being mutilated by her oldest friend only to have Twilight and Spike desecrate her corpse, then there was the robot...the damn robot. The blue pegasus tried to form words, but what only came out were broken sentence fragments. After a few more minutes her brain relinquished two complete thoughts. "What the fuck is this crap? My voice isn't that low is it?" *yawn* "No it isn't babe, now come back to bed." Dash turned around to see Special Delivery standing in the doorway rubbing his eyes. "In a few minutes, I'm not done being pissed off and you have to go to work soon." Twilight.Mov Finally the purple librarian got the video link and viewed it just like her friends. "This is not friendship, this is madness. Why I have the urge to--" The purple mare's thoughts were interrupted by several loud knocks on the door. Twilight watched as Applejack stormed into the library followed Rarity wheeling a still very nauseated looked Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash carrying a hysterical Pinkie Pie. "Um, hi girls?" "We'll save the pleasantries for later darling." "Yeah, we need to talk to ya sugarcube." "Some jerks, sent us some really gross videos." The element of kindness was about to say something but she felt her stomach roll once again and Rarity sighed levitating the bucket in the front of her best friend. "Hu-uh Gluaaaah...thanks...Rarity." Pinkie Pie was rocking back and forth muttering something about the wrong type of party. "You saw the videos as well." "That would be puttin' it politely Sugar cube." "Well, we could talk to the princess about this and --" Twilight’s rational suggestion was interrupted by Rainbow who at this point had grown extremely restless at her friends lack of locomotion. "This ain't the time for letters to the complaint department, its go time!!! Now this is what we do..." The pegasus gathered the girls together in a huddle position and looked around to make sure no one was listening to her plan. Not that it mattered because like always the Golden Oaks library was completely devoid of patrons. Twilight could only sigh as she began to listen to her friend's insane action filled bravado; the thing is normally she would have solved the problem, but she remembered a "Friendship Report" about listening to others advice even if it isn't always conventional. 'I wonder what would happen if Celestia and Luna got a chance to see those videos.' She thought as she looked at Rainbow who at this point had forgotten all about the huddle and began to pantomime her idea. It was just a stroke of cosmic luck or lazy writing that at that very moment Celestia, Luna, Discord and Gary Gygax just happen to be watching the .Mov series. They had just watched a scene were a certain white alicorn got her head bitten off by a certain ginormous draconequus. "I'm still head over hooves for you honey." Discord nudged his girlfriend playfully. "Ooh, Tia you shouldn't lose your head over such trivial things." "You need to keep your head uh...um...I got nothing." The human of the group hung his head in shame for not being able to come up with either a head or decapitation related pun. Celestia rolled her eyes unamused by the their playful jabs. "Ha, Ha, very funny." That's pretty much how the rest of the afternoon went for the group of royal friends. Back in the library, Rainbow Dash at this point was wearing a pair of reading glasses and casual business attire was wrapping up her plans which went from a simple huddle and whisper her idea to a full blown slide show. If anyone asked how, they would've chalked it up to the same force that allows ponies to break out into song and know all the lyrics. "All right guys, just meet up back here in thirty with the supplies I told you to go get." The group dispersed and with the exception of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie went to gather their materials. Spike was left in charge of watching Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. (LATER) On Earth, Los Angeles to be more specific, the four girls were standing in front of Molten Hokey Imp Studios. The lot looked completely devoid of life... well it was till they witnessed a morbidly obese security guard huffing and puffing as he chased three...cats...no wait monkeys...um...dogs, maybe skunks...whatever, the point was this scene was a bit jarring to the four ponies, but it did solve the issue of how they were gonna get inside the studio. "Damn, and I had us get all this spy stuff." Dash sighed completely devastated that they wouldn't get a chance to go all Splinter Cell for a spectacular entrance. "I mean this really bites. I even got the goggles that make the *boo-oohp* sound." The other three mares were just happy that they wouldn't have to lug all the heavy gear they brought with them. After a few minutes, the pegasus stopped whining and returned to the matter at hoof albeit in a very peeved mood. "Let's just get this over with...stupid place only having one guard to watch the... entrance, why I outta......" They made their way into the bowels of the studio AKA the animation department and the farther they ventured the more it began to look like something out of an H R Giger nightmare. The creepy atmosphere was married by both the feeling that someone was watching them and the lack of any other beings present. "Um...darling, this place makes me feel rather unclean. How can anypony live in these conditions?” "Ah don't know Rar, a little paint, less pointless metal tubes, maybe some throw pillows, I think it could look quit lovely." Applejack got some unnerving glares from her friends. "What? Ah'm allowed to like purty things too." After trotting down the seemingly endless hallway, they found a surprisingly simple looking white door. As if the decorators' budget ran out at the very end of the project. Twilight using her magic opened the door and they were briefly blinded by the bright light coming from behind it. Once the four regained their vision they could see before them was... ...an astonishingly plain office building with cubicles, people behind desk, the sound of mild chatter, a glass walled conference room. All in all, it was pretty very standard and uninteresting. All done in that 70's to late 80's international architectural style. Dash was dumbfounded to say the least. "What the f--" "Hi, can I help you four with something?" The four ponies looked behind them to find an amazingly average looking young lady in standard corporate casual attire with a pleasant disarming smile plastered on her face. "Yeah, this is an animation studio right?" "Only the finest." "Yeeeaaah, anyway do you know where we can find the head of the studio?" "Sure, just go down the hall, take a left, when you get to the water cooler, make a right and his office will be the third room on the left side." "Um, thanks?" As the ponies began their quest once again, the helpful lady called out to them. "IF YOU GET TO THE ELEVATORS, YOU WENT TOO FAR!" Because the directions were clean and because they weren't playing telephone, they found the room marked: Blank, McBlank Studio Head, Lead Animator and CEO Nudging open yet another door, this time without the blinding light, they were met with the sight of room that seemed to match the decor of the hall way from earlier and in the center of the room was a large black chair with its back turned to them. As the first of ponies entered the room, the chair swiveled around revealing a rather ordinary looking young man wearing jean shorts and a polo sporting a slightly menacing grin. "Welcome to my humble office, did you enjoy your trip here?" Rarity chose this time to add her two bits. "Well, no. I mean as a designer, I won't judge your taste, but it felt very unfinished at the end and the rest of the building felt very inconsistent." "Yeah, I kinda blew the entire budget on the hallway, plus you try getting a seventy year old man to come down on a price. I mean re--" Twilight decided that they needed to return to their original task and interrupted the animator with her own question. "Sorry to disrupt this tale of misplaced finds, but why is everyone so calm here?" "I pump PCP through the water supply." He stated in a matter of fact tone. "To them you could be anything from a vegetable monster to an amorphous pile of shit." "Why?" "For kicks, every once in a while a few of them will fight to the death in a Don Quixote-esque fashion." Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were speechless. "..." "Not that this hasn't been fun, but I need to get down to brass tax. Did you enjoy the videos I sent you?" The mention of the .Mov series brought back all the anger that had seemingly dissipated when they entered the animation department. The brash pegasus got in the face of hoo-man. "Why, did you send us this junk?" "A few months ago a certain Cupcakes writer, well technically he wasn't even the original author was sent to a mental institute, yelling about how a blue cartoon horse beat him up, several weeks later, he went missing." "So, what's it to you?" "He was my brother." *Dun, Dun, DUUUUN* Twilight, Rarity and Applejack glared at the pegasus and before they could say something, the hoo-man cut them off. "However, that's not what really got my blood boiling." "I-it isn't?" "Yeah I was angry, but what I'm really pissed off about is that I didn't get an invite to Spike's awesome yacht party. I mean I even went out my way to not maim Spike all that much in my videos and this how he repaid me." All he got was a collective "Huh?" from the mares in his office. "Well, those things and I'm a bit of sadist." For Rainbow Dash and Applejack as well as hidden part of Rarity's brain, kicking his ass became a more and more viable option, the deeper he went into his stereotypical villain diatribe. Twilight glared at the evil polo shirt wearing twenty something year old flash animator. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Your just lucky Discord didn't see this." The element of magic's shuttered at the very thought of a pissed off Discord. "Who knows what terrors he would've brought against you hoo-mans." "That's all well and fine, but you’re forgetting something." "An' that is?" The young man gave a whistle. "This." Soon the ground began to shake and rumble the room filled with an eerie blue fog and the back wall of the office exploded. *BOOM* When the smoke cleared and seven figures had taken residence up in the room. Before the four mares were Lard Ass Rarity (Larity for short), Twit-light, Trampy Pie, Psychoshy, Japple Ack, the corpse of Rainbro Dash, Robo Dash and stoner Spike, who we'll call Spite. The yellow psychotic pegasus revved up her chainsaw. "Hey, hey, hey let's pretend we're in my shed." "I the generous and beautiful pony that I am shall engage you hooligans in combat if I must." "Y'all are in for a beat down." Japple Ack swung her bat at the empty air. "I'll suck ya knob for twenty bucks." "Time to do some magic with a dash of SCIENCE!!!" Flies simply buzzed around the remains of Rainbro Dash. "Kill, Crush, Destroy, Swag, Kill, Crush, Destroy, Swag, Kill, Crush, Destroy, Swag..." "Fuck this shit." Spite went to the corner, propped himself up against the wall and lit up a cigarette. The human looked at his abominations and the four of the mane six. "ATTACK!!!" Psychoshy welding her chainsaw lunged at Twilight. The unicorn had to muster all of her strength to keep the saw wielding mare at bay. "won't you please let me...um... TEAR OUT YOUR EYES AND FEAST ON THE SWEET NECTAR INSIDE, MWHAHAHEHEHEHE!!!!" The element of magic grunt as she kept a magical shield up, but the psychotic mare's blade was chewing right through it. The human watched as Twilight fought against the evil counterpart to Fluttershy. "Having problems with your magic? It probably doesn't help that Shy's saw chain is made from Nth metal, so good luck with that." Twilight dropped the whole magical shield strategy and began a new one consisting of rolling and dodging her opponent. To the left of the unicorn her Apple marked friend wasn't doing too much better as Twit-light was using her magic to redecorate the office interior by throwing the country mare through several cubicles. "HEY TWI?!" "URG..." She just missed the buzzing saw and clanged against the tile floor to her side. "...YEAH?" "What's the best way to take out an evil version of you?" "Hmmm... try throwing something at her horn." The farmer managed to break free from the terrible unitard and galloped to the opposite side of the building. "Can do!" Applejack grabbed a red Swingline stapler from a nearby desk and flung it at Twit-Light's magic spewing appendage causing her to topple over and into an industrial shredder. As for Twilight, if she didn't think of something quick, she would be soon saving a lot more bits on mane shampoo. 'Think, think, think...uh...' Lucky for her that during her battle she somehow made it to the server room and got a glimpse of an item that just might save her flank. "I love this saw and I'm gonna make it part of you." "That's okay...arg...keep it!" With those words Twilight used her magic and wrapped a piece of cable from the server case around the body of the chainsaw and with a swift motion she slid forward underneath Psychoshy and yanked the piece of logging equipment under the pelvis of her attacker, resulting in an extremely gory mess. Huffing and puffing the purple unicorn managed to find her earth pony friend. "What happened to that evil Fluttershy?" "She *huff* had to split." "I reckon we got a hoo-man to talk to?" "Yeah, let me catch my breath." As soon as those words left Twilight’s mouth she fainted, because after all she was a nerd and she just came out of a fight with a chainsaw wielding maniac. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash who at this point managed to get outside the studio was desperately trying to keep her distance from the Robo-Dash robot. "KILL, CRUSH, DESTROY SWAG, KILL CRUSH, DESTROY, SWAG. ORIGINAL RAINBOW DASH MUST BE DESTROYED." "Crap!" Dash exclaimed as she dodged another missile blast. "Gotta think, gotta think, gotta think. What would Daring Do, do?" Conveniently, Rainbow had read Daring Do and the Mystery of the Mysterious Robotic Clones last week and from this she began to formulate a plan... and it might just work as long as she can avoid the laser death trap flying behind her. "Hold up!" "WHY?" "I challenge you to a swag contest!" "DIRECTIVE FOUR MANDATES THAT I AM THE MOST SWAG BEING IN EXISTENCE. I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE." The two flyer took off at mach two, to find a the most suitable way of settling this: a break dancing competition. The two ended up in a park just outside of Venice Beach and located some teens getting down on the cardboard with an old Ghetto Blaster. Oddly enough seeing as this was Venice; the kids didn't even bat an eye at the robot and a pegasus landing before them. "HUMAN CHILDREN, WE DEMAND USE OF YOUR STAGE FOR A SWAG CONTEST. YOU HAVE TWENTY SECONDS TO COMPLY." One of the urban youths threw up his hands in defense. "Whoah, Mr. Ed 209, you can have the mat." Robo Dash began to pop and lock, starting off with a few tried and true moves like spinning like a top on her head, doing front hoof stands and gyrating her pelvis in a 360 degree rotation (because being a robot, she could do that). The crowd clapped and nodding at the respectable performance the robot had brought fourth. The flesh and blood Rainbow Dash made her way to the dance arena. "Oh, yeah watch this." The pegasus pointed to the hoo-man near the boom box to change tracks. Rainbow started to jerk her body in a very stiff motion side to side at first, then moving to a clean electric slide, then she few backwards and used her strong wing muscles to propel her upwards. The crowd was getting into it. It wasn't over , yet, not by a long short, she used that momentum to give herself some air time to pull off a few flips. Her repertoire was a complex set of gestures that no four legged creature should be capable of, but the pegasus always did have a pension for splitting in the face of physics. As the crowd gathered looked on in amazement and her opponent watched, Dash's movements began to flow like water as if she was possessed by a break dancing demon. It almost to much for the audience. It certainly was to much for her robot doppelganger. "SWAG OVERLOAD, TOO MUCH SWAG, DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE." *KA-BOOOOOM* Rainbow "Danger" Dash grabbed the faceplate of the android menace as a souvenir before she flew back to the animation studio. As for Rarity? Her battle went a fair bit better than her companions. Larity charged at her Equestria counterpart, she suffered a nasty heart attack, because a diet of deep fried mayonnaise balls and Hot Pockets will do that to you. So that was one enemy down with only Japple Ack left to fight. "Ah'm gonna whup yer ass!" The .Mov counterpart to Applejack said while pointing her baseball bat at the unicorn. To compliment her threat, the dumb hick hocked a lugey at the mare. Rarity's eyes burned red with hatred. Like a switch had been flipped, the lights of the room flickered and the air smelt of pure oxygen. "IT. IS. ON." Here's the thing about the white mare, unbeknownst to majority of Equestria the fashionista was a sixth degree black belt in Jeet Kun Do. With that disgusting act Japple Ack sealed her doom as Rarity did a flying drop kick and just before her opponent hit the ground she fired a hoof into her solar plexus, liquefying her insides. "Uwwah..." The orange mare fell over. The white mare stuck a pose and bathing in her victory before trotting off to find the rest of her friends. (Sometime Later) The four mares met back up albeit exhausted, they still ready to take on their tormentor. They went back to his office and to nopony's surprise he left. There was however a certain purple drake getting high out of his mind in the corner. "Now listen here, sugar cube. We wanna see that there boss of yours!" All of Applejack's anger came through her words as she glared at the dragon. Spite just smiled. "Finally, I'm free of that dumb bitch." "Come again?" The dragon looked extremely happy to the point where he actually let out a few tears of joy. "I don't have to take orders from that retarded unicorn. I can finally live my--" He cut off by the sight of Rarity, a non-morbidly obese Rarity. "Hey babe, wanna go get some tacos? I knew a great place by the beach. Maybe catch a flick? Then after that we can get..." Rarity let Spite trail off as an idea formed in her head. "I shall go out with you, if you tell us where your employer is hiding." "Pinkie Promise." He gave the unicorn a smirk. 'Oh, dear Celestia.' Those were the only thoughts running through the fashionista's mind. "Um...cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a...uh...cupcake in my eye." At he end of the promise, her face looked positively green. Deciding that her patience was at its end Rainbow flared her wings and looked down at the smarmy reptile. "Now, tell us were your boss is or else." To drive the point home she cracked her hooves. "Sure, he went down the hall to the elevators, the password is Brooklyn Helicopter." The four mares were surprised that it was that easy and left the dragon who proceeded to fiddle with a finger skateboard he got from who knows where. During the battle, the smug animator fled to his private elevator to his penthouse at the top of the studio assuming that Robo Dash and Psychoshy would take care of everything. When he got inside he noticed the mail on the counter, the first bit of mail was an urgent looking yellow letter sent directly to the crazed animator. He tore open the letter the heading was: Santa Monica Center for Disease Control. "yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, we regret to inform you that you have contracted Mega Crotch Rot?! How in the holy fuck did I catch that one?!" Trampy Pie just looked at The Director, scratched her nethers and shrugged. "Beats me." He was about to berate his loose companion when the elevator door chimed letting him know he had guest. Applejack bucked the doors off the elevator as the four elements of harmony galloped into the penthouse. The animator looked down at Trampy Pie. "Attack!" "Fifty bucks." "Do you have change for a hundred?" "You're on your own." Trampy left to go rummage through the refrigerator. Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were about to attack, when suddenly the ground started to shake and air was filled with the sound of a freight train coming off its tracks. The tremors stopped for a brief second as two large fists broke through the wall as if it were made from tin foil and grabbed him by the throat. As the debris and dust from the hole cleared, a monstrous being stood before them... ...It was Perry Piekinski, human linebacker in all his seven foot, four hundred pound glory. "Excuse me." Perry politely said as he tipped his helmet and dragged the animator back through the same wall from which he entered from, leaving behind several confused and mildly disappointed mares. The ponies left the penthouse and went back to the office. "That was a mighty bit anticlimactic." Applejack said looking mildly irritated at way events unfolded back in the animator's home. Twilight looked visibly drained of all her energy to the point where she had no idea how they were going to get back home without her magic. Rainbow Dash picked up her trophy from her defeat of her metal duplicate. Rarity looked even more displeased than the rest of companions as she was not looking forward to her date with the very uncouth degenerate version of her Spikey-Wikey. Just as they were about to continue collecting their thoughts, the corpse of Rainbro Dash shuffled to life. "Swallow your soul; Swallow your soul, Swa--" *KA-DOOSH* "Holy Shit!" Spite yelled out. The possessed pegasus's head exploded into fine mist and standing in the doorway was Doctor Whooves gripping a shotgun in his mouth, mostly because he lost his sonic screwdriver weeks ago and a big gun was the next best thing. Noticing her white coat was covered in wicked nasty Rarity was the first to break the silence that hung in the room. "Ewww." "That was totally awesome!" The cyan pegasus squealed. "Dude, the only thing missing was a bad ass one liner like: the Doctor is making a house call and you need to rest in pieces." Applejack brohoofed her best friend in agreement. "How..." Twilight's mind was still reeling from what she had just witnessed. "We'll you see, it all started this morning..." (Flashback to eight hours earlier) Doctor.Mov Ditzy was out delivering mail, Dinky and Sparkler were at school, meaning the greatest stay at home dad in Equestria was busy taking care of household chores like watering his spice garden, making sure the laundry was done, making K9 less annoying and going online to sign up for those cooking classes his family was urging him to take, 'hmmp...bloody ungrateful, oooh what's this?' The Doctor was under the email account that he and Ditzy shared and saw a video link sent to his wife. "One little look can't hurt?" After watching Shed.mov and seeing what they did to his beloved wife, the hourglass marked earth pony, tried to calm his nerves as shook with a mixture of anger and fear. Lucky for him he managed to delete the message and to make sure that his children didn't get the same video link, he hacked into their email accounts and searched them for any trace of the schlock. The brown stallion searched all over his house for his sonic screw driver and when he couldn't find it, he settled for a pump action shotgun, because when you're going into the great unknown it's better to be safe than sorry. (End of Flashback) "... and now I'm here."The former Time Lord finished his explanation. He expected a few questions, but when he looked back at his friends and neighbors, they looked both mentally and physically drained. "Would any of you like a lift pack to Ponyville?" They all tiredly nodded their heads. "I'm coming with you." "I'm sorry darling, you can't." "You made a Pinkie Promise." Spite said with a sense of finality. The Doctor's ears perked up at the dreaded promise and allowed the drake into his teleportation machine. "Wait! Before we go I need to get a few things." After a few minutes Spite came back with his bong, his miniature skateboards and his best friend: Pacco. Doctor Whooves, the four mares, Pacco and the alternate dimension Spike sent back to Ponyville. As for Rarity’s date, to her surprise it wasn't that bad, sure the dragon smelled like bong water and cigarettes, but he was a gentledrake and those tacos were wonderful and he did let her pick the movie. When it was all said in done, the fashion obsessed mare found that could stomach another evening out with the dragon as long as he chugged an entire bottle of mouthwash. It feels like I'm forgetting something... Oh Yeah... Now for, “The Continuing Adventures of Perry Piekinski Human Linebacker” "I'm just an animator, this is torture!" The film maker cried out. Perry sat in a lawn chair with a hand around a wireless controlled to a shock collar. His other hand was wrapped around an ice cold glass of ice tea "Shut up and get back to work..." As punishment Perry was making his guest pave Rarity and Sweetie Belle's parent's driveway on the hottest day of the year. "...and it better be level or you know what me am do to you!" To make his point he hit the button on the remote. "YEOW!" "Oops, me am finger slipped." Suffice to say, the Belle Family got a very nice driveway. As for what Ted Nugent was doing in Equestria. Like always the famous guitarist and hunter was on his best behavior in Equestria. Up to date, he had hunted and killed a manticore and a hydra, but today was special because it was the day he would be helping out his number one fans in Equestria: The Apple family and the animal he was hunting was a huge pest that bred in the millions, so he was free to hunt and kill as many of this animal as he wanted to on this hunting trip. Ted was stalking around the western fields of Sweet Apple Acres with a large case in his left hand. He made sure to tread quite as a mouse careful not to disturb anything. "Hey mister, whatcha doin'?!" He looked down and saw Applebloom. "Shhh, be very, very quite I'm huntin' fruit bats." "Alright, can I come too?" Ted was about to say now, but the little filly looked up at him and used her signature weapon: sad puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeeeeeeassssssssseeee." "Alright, but be quite." "OKAY!!!" Ted just glared at her which cause the little pony to shrink in fear. "Okay..." Applebloom and Nugent eventually found signs of fruit bat activity on the ground. It was what appeared to be unmarked Skittles near the largest apple tree he had ever seen in his life. "Looks like we hit pay dirt." "Pay dirt?" The human rolled his eyes, before remembering that he had children of his own. "We found the critters we came here to hunt." "Gre~at, what happens noaw?" Applebloom's voice cracked with her question. "This." Ted put down the brief case he had been carrying, he opened its latches and he started to assemble what was in the case. Within a few minutes he put together a truly monstrous looking device as the filly looked in awe. "This is a net gun..." He looked the tree and back to the gun and noticed a problem. "hmmm... hey Applebloom could you buck that tree?" "Of course I can!" The head strong foal bucked the tree and sure enough bats in every color of the rainbow came pouring out of the tree and this prompted Ted to launch a volley of nets into the cloud of winged rodents. As the remaining bats fled the area Ted and Applebloom examined the nets. "Wow, look at 'em all, whatcha gonna do with these fruit bats?" Before Applebloom could get a life scaring answer she heard somepony calling her name in the distance. "I'm sorry I can't stick around any longer, but I gotta go, thanks for letting me go huntin' with you, Mister Nougat." Ted watched the adorable filly gallop off towards the farm house before turning to his bounty which looked absolutely terrified of him and for good reason as the proud hunter stuck a gloved hand int the net, pulled out a strawberry colored fidgeting bat and bit into it. Normally things that look way too tasty often aren't, but as Ted learned this was not the case as his tongue was assaulted by flavor. "Mmmm!!! These little bastards taste like biting into a fruit gusher!" Then an idea popped into his head, he took another squirming fruit bat, blueberry by the looks of things and he rammed a a sharp stick though its head and placed it over a fire he built. Within about fifteen minutes he removed the cooked animal, making sure it was cool, he took a bite out of it. "Just like I thought it taste like blueberry pie, too bad I didn't bring any ice cream." And so on in the coming weeks, Ted opened a game reserve where people come hunt these fruit filled creatures. It took the phrase, "I'd kill for some pie right now" to a new level as folks from all over the world paid a ton of money to kill an harvest yummy fruit bats.