To My Princess, on the Day of My Departure

by D. G. D. Davidson

II.

Your letter surprised me. You don’t need to feel bad about writing to me, and you don’t have to call me Your Highness or anything like that. I’m still not completely comfortable with the whole princess thing. I know I’m supposed to rule a kingdom someday, but right now I hope it’s not anytime soon: I like living in Ponyville where I can just be the librarian and study and spend time with my friends. I don’t even wear my crown most of the time.

And you didn’t run into me at the princess summit. I ran into you, so don’t feel bad about that, either.

In the past few days, I’ve read your letter over and over again, trying to understand it and trying to decide how to respond. I know you’re probably somewhere over Camelu by now, maybe even somewhere farther south. I’m not sure if this letter can reach you or not; obviously, there’s no Pony Express outside the border, and there’s nothing on the schedule showing another ship heading that way anytime soon. Unless I can work out a delivery spell that can reach a moving airship, I’m afraid this is just going to sit on my desk until you come back.

Two years, Flash? That’s a long time. Maybe it will go quickly; after all, I’ve been in Ponyville for three years now, but sometimes it feels as if it were just yesterday that I arrived as a young student who didn’t care at all about friendship. I hope the time does go quickly. I’d like to talk to you, and I wish you hadn’t run off like this.

I admit it’s true that I didn’t know about you before the princess summit, but, in a way, I feel almost as if we’re friends, even though we only met briefly and barely spoke to each other. You see, something happened at the summit, something strange. I don’t really know how to say this, and I don’t really want to say it, but you were honest with me, so I need to be honest with you. Besides, I know we won’t see each other for two years, so, like you, I feel I can say things now that maybe I wouldn’t say otherwise.

While at the summit, I traveled through a magical mirror to another world, and I met ponies there . . . well, no, they weren’t ponies. I’m not sure what you’d call them. They walked on two legs, and, instead of hooves, they had hands, which had thumbs on them so they could hold things. Many of them were like ponies I know, and they even had the same names.

One of them looked a lot like you, and, while I was there, I got kind of close to him. He helped me out once when I was in trouble. He watched out for me, just like how you say you want to watch out for me someday.

The second time I ran into you was shortly after I came home to this world. Seeing you after seeing him . . . well, it left me confused. I’m still confused.

I don’t think you’re a failure, Flash. I feel I failed you instead. Since I got your letter, I’ve kept thinking back over what happened when my friends and I went to Wuvy-Dovey Smoochy Land. I keep wondering if we could have done something different, if we could have somehow kept the Trail of Blood from happening. I let you down, Flash. It’s my own fault, not yours.

What you went through sounds really awful, but I know you did the best you could. Remember, you saved five luvcats on your back, and those five wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you. They’d love you no matter what, of course, but I know that, deep down, underneath that love they have to show you, they genuinely appreciate what you did for them.

My friends and I are often at the luvcat refugee camp these days, mostly distributing food and helping out the doctors working there. When you get back, if you think you can, and if we haven’t found a better place to move them to by then, you should join us. If you’re up to it, I think you should visit the ones you rescued, at least. I’m sure they’d want to see you.

We did talk a lot about the luvcats at the princess summit, as you guessed. Maybe things don’t have to be as bad for them as you think. Princess Luna suggested that we might be able to give them their own space where they can live away from ponies; that way, they could build their own society again instead of just showing affection to everypony all the time. Princess Cadance is doing research into love magic; she thinks she might be able to use her powers to change their reactions a little so they can live alongside ponies the same way griffons or minotaurs or gnomes can. We’re still working on it, but we’ll come up with something. Someday, those luvcats you saved will be able to tell you how they really feel, and not just how they have to feel about you.

Speaking of real feelings, I think it was the last part of your letter that left me the most confused. To be honest, after I read it, I was in bed for a day. I felt all twisted up and sick, almost as if I’d come down with feather flu. Nopony’s ever said something like that to me before, and I really don’t know how to respond. I didn’t even know what friendship was until just a few years ago, and this . . . I really don’t know anything about this.

Oh, why didn’t you talk to me instead of running off, Flash? Did you think I was somepony important? Did you think I don’t talk to ponies anymore just because I’m a princess? I’m the same old Twilight Sparkle I’ve always been, and I have a hard time getting everypony to understand that. I wish you and I already knew each other well, and then I’d know what to think and what to do and how to talk to you, and I wouldn’t have to be so confused!

Whenever I try to think of you, I always end up thinking of him, that other Flash Sentry I met in the other world. I admit I had some strong feelings for him. I forget that he’s not you and you’re not him, and I get all mixed up.

It’s not fair to you that I have an image of somepony else standing in your place in my mind. The things I shared with him, I never shared with you, even though it feels as if I have. I’ve only just met you, yet I feel I already know you. Is any of this making sense?

I don’t know what to think. Two years? Maybe two years is right after all. Maybe, in two years, I’ll have things sorted out.

I don’t think you’re a bad guard, Flash. I don’t think you’re a failure. You fought bravely to save others on the Trail of Blood, and you were thinking only of the luvcats, not of yourself. I could tell that from what you wrote. Please don’t feel bad.

I admit I am mad at you, though, not because of what you did there, but because you’ve run away to Zebrabwe instead of talking to somepony. You don’t have to do anything to make me think you’re “worthy” somehow. I think you’re a wonderful guard already.

I don’t know where I’ll be in two years. Maybe I’ll have a kingdom already, though I hope not. Wherever I am, when you come home, please come find me. I think we should talk.

To My Princess, on the Day of My Departure

by D G D Davidson

To Flash Sentry, Now that You're Gone