//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8 
// Story: I can be social. Probably. Maybe 
// by Heavensguard 
//------------------------------//

I can be social
---

“For the love of humanity, Stop eating my APPLES!” 

Twilight’s library treehouse shook as my voice bounced off the walls. That may be just my eyes playing tricks on me, but it helps reinforce my frustration.

“But Ned! AJ seems to give you the sweetest ones at the pick. How can I not take some?” Spike pleads his case. What makes this all the more worst is that the dragon is dressed as a friggin’ dragon. A purple dragon within a purple dragon.

“By not taking them! You gotta ask man!” I object furiously.

“Can I have some now?” Really Spike?

“HELL NO!” I overrule his pleas and snatch my basket of apples from the dragon’s grasp. The dragon’s expression fell to tears, but I remained strong in the face of such... such...

Dammit.

“Yes! Thanks Ned!” The dragon squeals as he munches happily on one of my cinnamon apples. I made a few batches of these treats for the night of nights. I set aside a few dozen for my own personal enjoyment, but curse Spike’s sense of sweets.

Nightmare Night. A festival dedicated to our very own Princess Luna. 

That was all I heard, but judging from the name, it probably didn’t paint the lunar alicorn in such favorable light. Which means, sooner or later. We will have a problem in our hands.

With how things go in Equestria, it should probably be easy to deal with. If I were a someone who enjoys being subjected to loud noises and being magically thrown around. The former isn’t too bad, but only if it has awesome trailer music.

In regards to what has been happening for the past week, I really need this night of entertainment. 

My gut and shoulder still get phantom pains. My sleep is plagued by bouts of skeletons and spiders. Spike has been a victim of a few of my screams in the night.

I haven’t spoken to Celestia since then. Armor said that he would inform Celestia on my behalf. Bedivere has made a couple of visits here, just to check up on me. Apparently, I looked a lot more injured when we left the Hollow than I thought. Twilight and Spike got along well with Bedivere when she visited. 

Rainbow Dash, not so much.

Which reminds me... I really should talk to her.

*Knock Knock Knock* Well, looks like the treaters are here.

I walk past Spike as he happily munches and open the door with my free hand. 

“Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!” comes the cheer of various fillies, each sporting unique costumes.
“Yes, happy Nightmare Night to the lot of you. Here ya go. Hey, Granny what are you doing up this late.” I give each of the treaters cinnamon apple treats. 
Granny Smith snorts at my dig, but...
“I should have been asleep five hours ago, but somepony’s got to watch over these kids.” She says drearily. A small pirate pony pops out before the group.
“Arrrg! Pipsqueak the pirate, at your service. Tonight’s my very first Nightmare Night!” the pirate cheerily says.
“Since you came from Trottingham?” I ask.
“Nope, my very first Nightmare Night, ever!” he answers.
“Well for that, you get double the treats.”
“Yay!”
“Enough chit-chat! Time is CANDY!” an unusually large chicken crows at us.
Upon closer inspection, I realize it was a very good costume, but batches of pink give away the costume.
“Aren’t you a little old for candy?” I hear Twilight’s voice behind me.
I turn my head to see the purple unicorn donning a white beard of all things. She also had a blue wizards hat and a large cloak with bells at the edges. 
Interesting, I’ve seen that attire before...
“TOO OLD FOR CANDY!(She squawks, its hilarious) Never!” 
Twilight sighs, but smiles nonetheless while doing a turn around to show off her costume.
“Do you like it?” she asks. I had a feeling...
“Yea! Great costume, Twilight. You make a great weirdo clown!” Pinkie says.
The group of fillies, including Pinkie and Granny, leave to go get more candy. Twilight huffs about.
“A clown!? Look at these borders on my robes! These are hoof-stitched!” She whines.
“Yea, great costume....Grandpa!” Spike snorts. He elicits a chuckle from me.
Twilight gives both of us a glare, but her expression falls to a soft smile.
“It’s still a good costume Twilight. Though, not many people will know about Starswirl.” I comment. My words, however light they were, caused Twilight to brighten up.
“HA! At least you got it! I would have questioned what have you been reading for you not to get this.” 
“Well, for starters, the beard was a straight give away. Besides, No one reads as much as you do. I’m like the closest thing, but even that isn’t saying much.”
“Oh come on you two. Let’s go get some Candy!” Spike interrupts our banter.
I place the tray of apple treats on the table in the center of Twi’s library. Spike and Twilight walk outside and I follow shortly.
“Alright Spike. Let’s get going... Hey Ned.”
“Yes, Twi?”
“Aren’t you going to wear a costume?”
“Yes, I will. Just need to head to Rarity’s.”
“Okay. What are you going to dress up as?”
“Oh you’ll see.”
“Awww come on. Please.”
“Nope, I’ll catch you guys la-guh!” 
My escape from Twilight and Spike at the treehouse was interrupted by a sudden force and lift. The ground before me whips past and grows distant. The winds brush past my face and it only took me a moment to realize I was flying.
“Dash. A little warning next time would be nice.” I deliver with a deadpan expression. My legs dangle in the air as the pegasus continues to carry me about.
“It’s about time you got out. I was beginning to think that you wouldn’t join me tonight.” Dash says as we swing around a cloud. 
“Yea, about that... can you drop me off at the Carousel Boutique?”
“What for?”
“I had a costume planned out for tonight as well.”
“Oh really? What are you going as?”
“You’ll find out like the rest of the ponies. Rarity already knows, cuz, well, she made the damn thing.” Despite my words, my tone was absolutely giddy. I had the perfect costume for tonight.
This night will be the best night ever.

---

“Rarity... I love you.”
Such a simple sentence, little did I realize how much reaction it would get. 
Rarity’s reaction was simply smile and giggle whilst saying,
“Oh, everypony loves me,”
That was the mildest reaction.
The extreme one came from Rainbow. It involved a high speed tackle, me flying, and lots of crashing outdoors.

Super fun.

“It was just a friendly expression! Yah didn’t have to explode like that!”
“How was I suppose to know! The way you said it, it felt like you were going to go all sappy on her.”
“I was going to, but not in the way you were thinking!”
I stood up in the wreckage of bushes and maybe a table. Luckily, the costume suffered no damages(pray to Celestia, Dashie, had anything happened to this suit) and I had to brush off the obligatory dust from my shoulders.
I had a black cowl, with two ears pointing straight up. The cowl covered my face, but left my mouth and chin revealed. A long black cape cascades my back and reaches to about the back of my calves. A grey suit holds firm against my body and apparently is form fitting, though I have no idea where I got abs from. Black claw gloves and black boots. A yellow and black mark on my chest, with the black resembling a nighttime flyer.

“Dashie, we need to talk abou-”
“Are you two alright? Sweet Celestia, Rainbow Dash. Did you have to send Ned through the window?”
“Ned said something he shouldn’t have.”
“Dashie, It was a slip of the tongue. It’s not like I mean it in a romantic kind of way.”
“Awww, and here I thought our resident biped was finally realizing his tastes..”
“Not helping, Rarity...” I groaned out.

Really, you are just going to make this situation a whole lot worse. Great, Rainbow is absolutely fuming. How am I going to defuse this-

“Hey Rainbow Dash, Rarity, what’s goin- Guaaah! What is that!?” 

That sounds like Applejack. One quick look proves that it is indeed Applejack dressed as a very scared scarecrow. Oh...right.

“You call yourself "Scarecrow." Farmer turned psychopath. You prey on the innocent and instill them with fear.  When I chose to wear my... costume, it was to prey upon the criminals, and instill them with fear. The irony is not lost on me...”

With each word, I step closer to the apple farmer. Each step draining the color from the pony’s face. I drape the cape along my arm and across my face mask, My eyes stare deep into her own. Before long, I am on top of her and all color (possibly soul too) have left the middle child of the Apple family.

“Darkness.”
I spread my arms and cape to bestow my terrifying appearance.
“SINK INTO YOUR SOUL!”

“Ned darling. I think you have done enough.”
“Yea, Nedster. I believe Jack is an apple short of a batch now.”

True to their words, the scarecrow Applejack has completely lost all color to her body and her eyes have become pinpricks. Her mouth agape and it seems she may have stopped breathing.

Her heart stopping may also be a possibility.

“Err, Jackie?”
No response.
“Jack, return to the living world please.”
Nada
“You have not yet, my permission to die, Jack.”
Zip
“Why is rum gone, Jack?”
Didn’t think that would work either.
“Jack, if you don’t wake up, I’ll have to use you as a substitute southern girl that I’ve always wanted to make out with.”
I got a reaction, but from someone else.
“Hey!” 

I expected this. So the moment Dashie made contact, I shifted and swung the pegasus face first into the catatonic pony. It was almost perfect. 
I had gotten Rainbow to kiss Applejack.
It is rather sloppy looking and a tad painful, but (heck) still impressive.
“Blaagh! Stop kissing me Rainbow! Ah don’t have that preference!”
It also got the earth pony to wake up. Two birds.

“I’ll say Ned.” Rarity trots up by me, “That was rather...eloquent.”
“Thanks, though I hope I really didn’t give Jack a heart attack.”
“I was surprised you would take it so far.”
“Well, what’s a night called Nightmare Night without a few scares?”
Rarity nods her agreement and We both help the two ponies up, one really. Jack gave me a good kick to the leg for the scare and Dashie just glared at me the whole time.
I really should talk to Dashie.

Eventually we got ourselves sorted out. A few more kicks in the butt for me, courtesy of both Jack and Dashie. On the off note, Rainbow was sporting a makeshift Shadowbolt costume, I asked what in the world is a shadowbolt and Dashie told me it was a long story. Rarity said she wouldn’t be able to come along for the night, apparently there were still costumes to be made.

I offered to help, but Rarity threw me out and told me to enjoy the night.
Sheesh, sorry my tendency to be a helping hand is bothersome.

As we walked towards town center, the three of us chatted mainly about inane things. I would bring up the topic with Dashie, but I believe that would be better if we did that in private. Jack says she would be manning the apple bobbing and pumpkin toss games. Dashie pulls me upon her storm cloud says we should scare ponies. That sounds quite delightful.
And my preferred group to scare just came into sight.

I had Dashie let me off the cloud on a low roof. I crept over to the edge to peer over a group of fillies, a giant chicken, and lil’ ol’ Granny Smith. This is going to be fun.

“I am the Night!”
The ponies flinch and jump as my voice thunders down upon them. They twist and turn to see the source, but none take the time to look up.
With dramatic flair, I leap off the low roof and land before them. I rise quickly and spread my cape. 
“I AM BATMAN!”
Thunder flashes around me, illuminating each face, and grasping the very core of fear within each one. Granny Smith just fainted. Perfect timing, Dashie.
The fillies and ponies screamed at the top of their lungs and ran for their dear lives. The large chicken pony quickly grabbed Granny before running off with the rest.
Dash came down on her cloud, rolling on her cloud, laughing her butt off. 
“That was brilliant, Nedster! Did you see the look on their faces, priceless!” 
“Of course I did, I did it.”
“Oh man, this night is going to be so Awwwesome!”
“Definitely.”
“With you and me, we’ll have this whole town pranked in no time.”
“Not quite.”
Both Dashie and I look towards the fun perpetrator. We met with a scruffy beard of a purple unicorn. She had an eyebrow raised and leveled a look at the both of us. Looks like Twilight isn’t taking to our fun.
“While you look absolutely terrifying Ned, it isn’t hard to overcome that when you’re laughing out loud with Rainbow Dash.”
“Trust me, Batman is scary. Even when he is laughing. I just can’t pull it off...”
“I’m sure he is Ned, now let’s- What the?”
Both Twilight and I turn to see what stopped Dashie mid-way. What I saw, I couldn’t believe.

I recall that my three biggest fans/followers were in that group I just scared, it seems that they didn’t go running with the rest of them, though.

“Call me Bataloo!” Says a orange filly pegasus within a dark suit with cowl and cape.
“I’m Sweetie Bat!” Says a white unicorn donning the dark caped crusader suit.
“Batbloom!” Says the butter yellow filly covered in the night vigilante’s costume.

“Together! We ARE THE DARK KNIGHT CRUSADERS!” The three declared to the world.

Twilight was speechless.
Dashie was holding back her laughter, but her body shook with her mirth.
Me? I was just completely overwhelmed with so much....

AWESOME!

“DARK KNIGHT CRUSADERS!” The three snap to attention as my voice echos against the houses.
“TONIGHT! WE-”
“Thank you everypony for coming out tonight!” Ah for the love of- Damn you Mayor Mare!
The mayor had trotted upon a stage in town center and spoke before a podium. The townsfolk gathered. There was a variety of costumes, ninjas, mummies, zombies, farmers, scarecrows, etc...
For a race of sapient equines that never heard of humans, they do seem to match humans in certain areas. 
They gave me a wide berth, apparently I was more terrifying than I thought. Then again, I did give Jack a heart attack...
“Once again, I thank everypony for the decorations and treats. I also welcome everypony to our Nightmare Night festival!” The mayor herself was dressed up as a clown with a rainbow afro. Complete with a red rubber nose.
“Now, all the little fillies that have been collecting treats should come follow Zecora to hear the legend of ….(pause for dramatic effect)...NIGHTMARE MOON!” Cue evil laughter.

“You know that would have worked better...if she wasn’t dressed like that.” The purple dragon within a purple dragon said. Twilight and I snickered a bit.
Zecora appeared upon the stage with a flurry of smoke and special lights. A few ponies and fillies gasped and dove in terror. Seems like my guess that Zecora would love Nightmare Night was correct. She was made well for this holiday.
“Follow me and very soon you’ll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.”

I really hate how she can do that...

---

Twilight, Spike, and I followed along with the fillies (and Pinkie Pie) to a clearing in the Everfree forest. This clearing was different from previous clearings that I’ve been to, for starters it has a statue dedicated to the former persona of the lunar princess. A marble caricature of a being of dark power, whoever chiseled this statue had successfully replicated the frightening image of Nightmare Moon. 

Yea, Luna ain’t gonna like this.

Speaking of which, wasn’t she suppose to drop by tonight? I could’ve sworn that was what Bedivere said.

Zecora brought us to the statue and a few fillies trembled in its presence. The moonlight cascades down its alabaster surface. One could spot cracks and divots within its form, it supports the belief that it is old. 
“Listen close my dears,” Zecora starts as we all group before the statue, “I’ll tell you where you got your Fears - of Nightmare Night, so dark and scary.” 
She lifts a hoof and blows out green dust that forms above,
“Of Nightmare Moon, who makes you wary.”
Bringing forth a frightening image of a green translucent Nightmare Moon, the ponies cry out once more.
“Every year, we put on a disguise, to save ourselves from her searching eyes.”
The Nightmare Moon projection glides over the group, causing fillies to run about screaming. I knew Zecora would get a kick out of Nightmare Night.
“But Nightmare Night wants but one thing, to gobble up ponies in a single swing!”
The green Nightmare swoops down and passes through my body, further horrifying the others. I held a bemused smirk upon my lips as, yes, Zecora was having fun.
“Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes and all is clear, Equestria is safe for another year!”
The green Nightmare Moon puffs out of existence and the ponies finally cease their frightened scattering, though I failed to mention that my newly dubbed “Dark Knight Crusaders” have been clutching onto me the entire time.
“Um, Miss Zecora,” A small pirate filly asks, “If we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon, so she won’t gobble us up, how come we still have to give her some of our candy?”
“A perfect question, my little friend. For Nightmare Moon you must not offend.” Zecora procures more powder from her bag, or at least I think its powder, and blows forth. “Fill her belly with a treat or two, so she won’t return to come eat you!”
The green dust turns into another visage of Nightmare Moon and it darts about the group, snapping at each pony, but never making purchase as it phases through harmlessly. 
“Everypony!” Pinkie screams, “Just dump some candy and get out of here!” 

Now, had I known better, I would figure that Pinkie would just drop a handful of sweets, but of course, in her panicked state, she dumped the whole bag. Every other pony followed suite. 

This would have ended our stay with the statue and for most of the scares of tonight, but my life isn’t complete without something going drastically different. 
Cue strange strong winds. Check
Cue clouds partying suddenly. Check
Cue thunder cracking. Check a roo
What does all of this get us?
The perfect entrance for a chariot of dark grim colors and gothic designs to fly overhead, being pulled by demonic winged ponies. ( Well I hope they’re ponies)

“Its Nightmare Moon! RUN!” I heard someone scream and then my ears took a hard hit as every pony screamed as they turned tail and ran towards the village. I was left alone with Twilight before the Nightmare statue.

“Does everything have to be so loud with you around?” Twilight asks with a snark expression.
“Without me around, would you really be having this much fun?” I retort as I dig my pinky into my ear. Jeez, these equines can be loud.
“Come on, Ned. Let’s see if we can calm this situation down.”
“I highly doubt things are going to go as you’d expect.”

The two of us walk(trot) back to Ponyville where we can hear more screams coming from within. They only grew in volume as thunder and lightning cracked and banged about. As we neared town center, the screams stopped and the place was filled with this eerie silence. We came across the entire town bowing (cowering more like) before the rider of the dark gothic chariot. It was a pony larger than most, bigger than Big Mac, but not as big as Lancelot. It was dark blue and wore a cloak. The hood of the cloak was down and it revealed the royal face and mane of Princess Luna. 
She steps forth before the mayor clown, lifts her own hoof, and coughs as if to clear her throat.

“CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE!” Good lord, and I thought her voice the first time we met was loud.
“We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real Princess of the Night!” She projects her glass killing voice across the crowd, intimidating further each and every pony. Even I had a hard time to refrain from covering my ears. “A creature of nightmares no longer, but instead a pony that desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!”
As if to punctuate how terrifying she is, her clouds rattled with thunder and lightning.
“Did you hear that, everypony? Nightmare Moon says she’s gonna feast on us all!” Damn that chicken, she’s going to make things worst. Of course she did, ponies all around began to scream once more and fled from the center. Luna could only stand at the center of the chaos, dumbfounded. 
“What? (Oh, she finally resumed her normal voice) No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror!” 
Her words fell upon non-cooperative ears as the ponies continued to run about. 
“What is the matter with you? Very well then. Be that way. We won’t even bother with the traditional royal farewell!” Luna whips her head and turns it high as she trots away from the chaos.

“Uh, Twilight.” 
“Yea, Ned?”
“Go catch up to her, I’ll be along shortly.”
“Alright.” 
Twilight trotted off to get to the princess. I stepped by the scattering ponies to stand before the two batwinged pegasi.
“Why don’t you two go grab something to eat, I’ll look after the princess.” 
Now, normally, me being human wouldn’t let me this choice, but ever since Luna brought up myself being the guardian of Equestria, her personal guard had taken it as a liberty to shove some responsibilities upon me. Of course, this only happened here in Ponyville, but hey, take advantage whenever one can.
They nodded, quite happy with being let loose on a holiday. I turn on my heels and went about to track down our wayward Night royalty.

---

“Hello Princess, I am-”
“Starswirl the Bearded, commendable costume. Thou has gotten even the bells right.”
“Thank you! Finally, someone else who gets my cos-guh!”
Twilight gave me a look as I elbowed her.
“Oh right, We just came to welcome you to the celebration! My actual name is-”
“Twilight Sparkle.” Luna had her back to us as she stood before the statue of her former persona, she then finally turned to greet us.
“It was thou who- WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS THAT?!”
Niiiiiice! I can knock even the Princess of the Night off-balance with this costume. However, with the glare Twilight is giving me usually means I should stop enjoying this.
“Ah, good to see even the Princess could be unsettled by this caped crusader,” I pull back on the cowl to reveal my face. “Welcome to Ponyville, Luna.”
“Ned? My, that is quite the costume. I’m surprised the townsfolk would run from me rather than you.”
“Well, I had my fair share of scaring ponies, quite a few actually think this is pretty cool.” 
“Hard to imagine, Ned.”
“Anyway, impressive arrival milady.”
“Your fellow citizens don’t seem to believe so.”
“Well, it is a given. You were Nightmare Moon.”
“Ned!” Twilight was surprised at my insensitivity.
“I said were, the ponies of recent are not accustomed to having a Princess of the Night, they have been raised for the past millennia to fear Nightmare Moon.”
“Still, Princess Luna isn’t Nightmare Moon anymore.”
“I know that, and its up to her and maybe us to fix that.”

The two of us glance over towards Princess Luna.
“And how do you suppose we come about that?” Luna asks.
“How about changing your approach?” Twilight offers.
“Changing our approach?” Bellows Luna.
“Luna, we talked about volume.” I said.
“oh....right...” Luna acting sheepish? Thats a first.
“You and Princess Luna have talked about this?” That’s right, Twilight doesn’t know about me and Luna having talks.

“Well, yes. We met a long while back, Twi. Funny thing, she was almost just as loud back then as she was now.” Luna gave me a glare, but it was ignored.
“Nedward, here, has been quite the help in my transition from former creature of nightmares to the princess you see before you. Though it seems that We require more instructions.”
“Nedward? Really, Luna?” How many times would these ponies... you know what, forget it.
“Is it not the full version of your name?”
“It isn’t, moving on. You should just speak with the townsfolk as you would with me. Minus all the old speak.”
“Old speak?”
“Nevermind.”
“Perhaps Fluttershy can help?” Twilight offers.
“Maybe, Dashie has told me she doesn’t like Nightmare Night.”
“Why? Tonight is a fantastic festival, what’s not to like?”

---
“GO AWAY! There is no candy HERE! Vistors not welcome on NIGHTMARE NIGHT!”
.
.
.
“Told you, Twi.”
“Hush, Ned. Sorry princess, let me just-”
“Nah, I got this Twilight.” I said as I sneak over to the side of the house.

Flutters never closes all of her windows, she keeps at least one or two open so that her bird friends could come in and leave as they please. That would be her downfall tonight. After a short bit of searching, I had found the open window near the back. I skillfully(read clumsily) clambered up and into through the window. It took me a moment to get my bearings and I made my way through the household. As I made my way towards the main room, I felt my leg halt, almost causing me to stumble. I caught myself before I made any noise, one look back told me what I needed to know.

Angel.

The little bastard. In one motion, I grasped the little bugger by his ears. He thrashed about, trying to swing his momentum so he could slap me. I wouldn’t let him get as far, for I had swung him over my head and threw him out the window I had entered through. I turn back and enter the living room of the kindest vet of all of Equestria. She was in the room, I couldn’t see her just yet, but I could hear her whimpering.
It almost broke my heart, especially with what I’m about to do.

“You cannot hide from me” 
A gasp and a dry along with shuffling brought my attention to a bundle of blankets. Oh so thats where she was hiding.
“Whos there?”
“Your worst nightmare” I say as I throw the covers off of the pegasus.

“AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaHhhh!”

Now, there are plenty of reasons why scaring Flutters was a bad idea. 
Her soul-killing scream would be one of them. It is largely disorientating.

So as I stumble about, the butter pegasus scatters about, screaming her lungs out. I manage to stumble myself to block her from heading towards the back of the house and guide her towards the front door. I was successful in getting Flutters out of her house. She busts through her front door, quite literally she sent that piece of wood off in the distance, and crashes into Twilight.

“Well, that went exactly as I thought.”
“Was that really necessary, Nedward?” 
“What, it worked didn’t it, Luna?”

Luna rolled her eyes as both Twilight and Fluttershy return to their feet. Both shake their heads to clear some haze.
“Fluttershy, err, you remember Princess Luna?” Twilight asks
Flutters looks over toward the Princess of the night and immediately attempts to run into her home. Unfortunately for her, I was still in her doorway, in all Batman gear. Cue her gasps and screams as she darts behind Twilight. 
Might as well go easy on her, if I could make Jack catatonic, I don’t want to know what I could do to Flutters. I pull back the cowl once again. Immediately, Flutters steps away from Twilight to glare at me.
“That wasn’t very nice”
“I apologize for that, but you should enjoy Nightmare Night.”
“I can’t, everypony in scary costumes. Its too much for me.”
“Trust me, you’ll be fine. We have a few ponies dressed up as cutesy animals.”
“Really?”
“Really, really Flutters.” That got her sold. “But first, you have to help Luna here.”

The moment Flutters’ eyes fell upon Luna, she dashed back behind Twilight.
“You remember Princess Luna, right?” Twilight asks once more.
“Charmed” Luna booms.
“Luna...” I reminded.
“Likewise...” Fluttershy whispers.
“Twilight and Nedward hath spoken of the sweetness of thy voice.” Her voice wasn’t booming, but it was still pretty loud. “We ask thou teachest to us to speak as thou speakest.”
“Okay” Flutters whimpers.
“Shall our lessons begin?” Luna bellows.
“Okay”
“Shall we mimic thy voice?”
“Okay”
“How is this?”
“Perfect, lesson over!” Flutters loudly states as she dashes back to her home. 
She ran right into me. Perhaps I was wrong on saying Flutters wasn’t as light as a marshmallow.

“How about tuning down a few octaves?” I offer the princess.
“How about...this?” Her voice drops a third.
“Perfect. Right, Fluttershy?” Twilight says.
“ehehuh, yes?” Apparently my chest is pretty sturdy if Flutters is dazed from impact. A blue aura glows about Flutters and she is lifted towards the nocturnal royalty to be embraced physically. Luna may have been squeezing too hard as Flutters was unable to speak as Luna expressed her gratitude.
“Hey Fluttershy! You’ve gotta hide us! Nightmare Moon is here and...” Oh boy, that better not be.
“Ah! She stole Fluttershy’s voice so she can’t scream when she gobbles her up!” Yeap, it was Chicken Pie and the fillies. Welp there goes that plan.

“Nay, children, wait!” Luna calls out to the retreating equines.
“Come on, princess. Time for plan B.”
“Hold that thought, Twi. Now its my turn.”
“Eh?”

We came back to Ponyville, with Fluttershy in tow. She was reluctant, but constant reminders of cutesy animal costumes got her sold. As we came into town, the occasional townspony would catch sight of us, more importantly Luna, and immediately bow and cower. It didn’t do well for Luna’s esteem.

“Trust me Luna, it isn’t as bad as you think.” I reassure the princess.

I caught sight of the group that would do best for my plan. 

“I’ll be right back. Got a chicken to reprimand.”
“I don’t see how this would help the general view on us.”
“You’ll see soon enough Luna.”

The solution to our, or rather, Luna’s problem is that she doesn’t understand the general view of Nightmare Night. If the costumes are anything to go by, it is very similar to our own holiday of the night. 
The best way to prove this to Luna? Just do what I’ve been doing the entire night.

The group of fillies were going to come into one alleyway so I stood upon another low rise roof for my entrance. It didn’t fit well with me how I was rehashing the same tactic from before and that I was focusing on the same group, but since this group was the only one with fillies, I will have to work with it.

As they reached the middle of the alley, I leap from the roof, and descend upon their unsuspecting forms. My abrupt appearance would startle most individuals, but with an addition of a crack and flash of lightning and thunder respectively, that which is startled becomes terrified. 
Of course, nothing really ever goes according to plan. 

“Just relax. I’ll take care of the creepy, wretched, pinhead puppet of Ponyville!” The giant chicken shouts as the fillies ran. She reared up on her back hooves and pulled out an umbrella from her candy sack. 
Wait, umbrella?
“Why do you have an umbrella?” I ask
“You’re just jealous, because I’m the genuine fowl and you have to wear a mask!”
“Are you quoting...someone?”
“But when it comes down to it, who’s holding the umbrella?”
“I’m guessing you are quoting Penguin, but how?”
“Penguin? I’m not a penguin, I’m a chicken.” She squawks.

Ah that clever mare. No matter, the plan goes as placed. I dashed forward as the chicken mare tries to make a scramble away. I close in and tackle the equine fowl. We tumble about for good few moments, apparently Pinkie is extremely good at staying up top....

“Are we going to keep this game going Pinkie or are you actually going to stop screwing around?”
“This is fun!”
“That it may be, I need you to help me with Luna”
“Help how?”
“I believe you already noticed”
“That she isn’t taking this festival all that well?”
“Exactly. So are we done having a tumble?”
“Oky Doky Loky!”

The two of us rise from the heap we created and make our way out of the alley, well, I had to for Pinkie believed it to be more fun if I had to carry her out. Well, it did correspond with what I had in mind.

“HELP, HELP! The evil minion of Nightmare Night is ponynapping me for Nightmare Night to gobble me up!” Pinkie cries as we step into full view of everypony. 
The ponies gather round to watch with frightful and expecting eyes. Luna and Twilight watch from afar with disbelieving eyes. 

“That is a lie! We would not eat any pony!” Luna calls out as she approaches us. The townsfolk immediately cower before her. She stomps her way through the crowd and stands furious before us. “What is the meaning of this, Nedward!? Are you not suppose to rid these misconceptions of us.” Luna bellows.

Her voice begins to scare off her citizens and Luna catches notice of this. Her eyes take on a white glow and she breathes in deeply.

“Fear me! For I am the servant of the night! The avenger of the shadows! The DARK KNIGHT CRUSADER!” I intercept the lunar princess’ announcement. To add to my cry, I spread my cape quick and wide. Once more, thunder cracks and lightning flashes around myself and Luna. The townsfolk scream as they reason running away over their manners of bowing before the princess. As the ponies scatter about, I could only laugh. 

Alot more than I should.
Infact it got to the point that my lungs started hurting.
Despite that, it was a good feeling.
Luna didn’t seem to share that sentiment.

“Nedward! This is not what we would call acceptance of our presence!” Luna exclaims. 
“You would be right, my princess, but you may notice something if you would lend thy ear.”

Just for a moment, Luna humored my little request. And she would be surprised.
We could hear some ponies talking, not too far away, but out of sight.

“Did you see Ned’s costume? That was downright terrifying!” Ah Batman, you never fail to impress.
“I know! This has got to be the best Nightmare Night ever! We even get Princess Luna to get in on the festivities.” The surprise on Luna’s face said it all.
“How can it be? These ponies...enjoy the screaming and scaring?” Luna asks. It would also seem that Twilight was curious as well.
“Well you see Luna, Twi, Nightmare Night is fairly similar to a holiday back in my world.” I step off of Pinkie, never really knew that I was standing on her. “Its called Halloween and its a night where humans dress up in costumes of their preference, be it scary, cutesy, attractive, or plain silly.” I point to Pinkie for emphasis, “The general purpose, nowadays, is to have the children dress-up and collect candy from house to house. Halloween is also known for people scaring and pranking others, sometimes doing both at the same time.”

“So it is a day that is...okay to be scared?” Twilight asks.
“Yes, because sometimes, it’s-”
“It’s fun to be scared!” Pinkie finishes for me.
“Exactly. So how about a few more scares before we hit the games. I’m dying to upstage Dashie in the haunted horseshoe -GAaah!”
That reaction would primarily come from being electrocuted. Courtesy of our friendly neighborhood weatherpony, hovering over my fallen form by a few good feet. Smart pegasus.
“Hahahaha! You should have seen your faces. What makes you think you could beat me at horseshoes Nedster!” Dashie chortles.
“Oh, I’ll get my payback Dashie, right now. DARK KNIGHT CRUSADERS!”

With my call, three shadows leap from another low rise roof to tackle the black-clad pegasus over her cloud and to the ground.
“DARK KNIGHT CRUSADERS!” The three bat fillies chant as they tumble over Dashie.
“My sidekicks! We must apprehend this imposter of Rainbow Dash, her true name is Wobniar!” I struck a pose and directed a finger at the fallen pegasus, who could only give me an incredulous look.
“Wobniar?” She asks.
“Yes! You are the evil clone of Rainbow Dash! Go my crusaders, attack her with all your might! Her weakpoints are her hooves!”
My words, especially when I emphasized on her hooves, caused her eyes to widen. Oh I knew where she was ticklish. How? I will never tell. Nonetheless, Dashie’s attempts to escape are foiled as my three adorable sidekicks bring out feathers in their mouths and begin tickling the blue pegasus’ feet.
“NO! hahahah-stopahahah- I can’t-hahehaheha” Dashie’s pleas would fall upon ignorant ears.

“So, anyone up for a few games?” I offer the jaw-slacken horned duo of Twilight and Luna.

---

The night went well. Ok, rephrase that. The night went great! 

Luna had a blast playing the festival games and saw that Ponyville had gotten accustomed to her pretty well. No longer were there any ponies cowering before her, now they openly invited her for games and treats. She got into her fair share of scares and pranks. Though she ruined a few of my pranks, thanks to her blunt and oblivious nature. Overall, I mark this as a success on making Luna feel accepted in Ponyville. Shes on her own in any other town, though.

For myself, I had my fun. I played a few games of horseshoes (lost against Jack, Dashie, and Luna. Twilight cheated), bobbing apples (Ended up bobbing a Bataloo, much to everyone’s confusion), and spider toss (Luna made one of my spiders into a giant living spider. Cue my violent reaction with Pipsqueak’s wooden sword). Despite the obvious fun I had, it all rang too close to what I did in my own world. Damn, it sucks to think about this.

Want to know what also sucks? 
Remembering that I have to take care of something.

“Hey Dashie.”
The pegasus was in mid-progress of beating Jack in a pumpkin juice drinking contest. Her eight glasses to Jack’s six, and Jack was looking like she already had three too many.
“What’s up Nedster? I got nothing to worry about at the moment, Applejack is about to barf.”
“No...Ah’m... Not...Pard- woah nelly!” Jack’s face turned green and one of her hooves just went to her mouth. Her cheeks just puffed.
“Oh boy” was all I could say before everyone backed up as Jack spewed her recent beverages onto the dirt.
“Eeeeewwwww!” was chorused by us all.
“HA! I win, Applejack!” Of course, Dashie was more focused on her victory.
“Ah fudge nuggets.” bemoans the orange pony.

“Hey Dashie, I kinda need to talk to you.”
“Alright Nedster. Hey Applejack, remember you owe me cider when you feel better.”

The two of us leave the festival grounds towards quieter areas, more specifically some woods. I figured that what was to be said would be best said without an audience. 

We made some inane chatter until we came across a clearing with a lake.

“-and thats when Fluttershy came in, knocking all the cake onto Rarity’s dress.” Dashie gestures wide with her hooves.
“Oh damn, Rarity must have been livid.” I was giggling.
“Oh she was, but when it happened, she was just frozen in shock.” Dash chuckles.
“I wish I could have seen the look on her face.”
“Oh trust me it was hilarious.”

We laugh abit before it died away to silence. We stayed by the water’s edge for some time, myself kicking a few pebbles into the water and Dashie playing abit with her fluffy dark cloud. I should probably get on with it. 
I mean, sure it would probably ruin the moment and possibly our friendship. But I need to make things clear now rather than break even worse later on. But how do I get the right wor-
“I had fun tonight, Nedster.” I turn towards the pegasus, who is still staring out to the water.
“uh..yea so did I. I’m glad.”
“Those were some good pranks.”
“Yup.”
“I’m particularly impressed by that ‘Wobniar’ thing you pulled.”
“Oh, it’s just your name backwards. The little crusaders are responsible for the tickling though.”
“Then again, you told them where I was most sensitive. How did you figur-”
“I have my sources.” I cut her off quickly.
“....Fluttershy?” Damn...
“Yea, Flutters.”
“Knew I shouldn’t have told her.”
“Trust me, it wasn’t easy getting it from her.” It was actually a slip of hers when I was planning on pranking Dashie.
“I’m really glad I got you.” Yea, I gotta do it now.
“Dashie, I gotta tel-” 
However, she cut me off. Her lips met my own. Her eyes were closed. Mine were not. I should probably close them.... No... 

I place my hands on her shoulders (are they shoulders?) and push her away softly. Her eyes opened to display confusion.
She was going to say something, but I have to say my piece first.

“I already have someone, Dashie.”
The reaction was instantaneous. A flash over her eyes and her brows curved. Her lips parted in aghast. Her form stiffened.
“Wha-”
“Back in my world. I have a girlfriend. A significant other, if you will. A special someone in my life.”
Her pink eyes begin to moisten and her lips quiver. Her wings snap flush against her sides.
“I plan to find a way to get home to her someday. Really, as soon as possible. I miss her beyond belief.”
Now her eyes had taken a sheen from the moonlight as they were already filled with tears. 
“I would have told you sooner, but I was caught off guard that night, and well, the next few days weren’t possible either.”
“Why-” Dammit, I never could handle a crying girl, even if it is a pegasus.
“Dashie, you are an awesome pony. You’re brilliant, athletic, brave, bold, and determined. I acknowledge your feelings, but I just don’t feel the same way. You are very good friend, even my best. I’m sorry. I really am.”

There. It was off my chest. She knew my feelings and how I stood on this matter.

“If you want to tackle me or kick me, I’m okay with that.” My mouth always seems to be its own living entity sometimes. Now that the offer was out there, I close my eyes in preparation.

I expected a kick or something painful. I got something soft and moist on my cheek.
“Even if you feel that way...I still have feelings for you.” 

I was stunned. Why? Why would she say that, why would she tell me that? That’s not something I would want on anyone.

I open my eyes to see that Dashie was no longer infront of me. I quickly look around and catch sight of the pegasus in the sky, pushing her cloud back towards Ponyville.

Damn. My shoulders slump as I let out a breath. I told Dash my feelings and she tells me she would continue to have feelings for me. Dammit.

“Ah, Nedward. We were wondering why you weren’t enjoying the festivities.” 

I look towards the source, but I already knew who it was.

“I just needed somewhere quiet to rest a bit from the chaos.” I lie.
“It would seem we have the same idea. We have never expected our citizens would be this much...fun.” She rolled the word, fun, as if testing the word out. 
Twilight and I had a moment of pure sugar-filled glee when the princess tried out the pumpkin launch game. In the princess’ own words of, “A-ha! The fun has been Doubled!” had both Twi and I having kawaii~ moment. I have no regrets.
“Thats how we mortals live. We enjoy every moment we can and live out our days doing what we love.”
“Now it would seem you paint us immortals as stale, boring, old ponies.”
“The farthest thought from my mind, mil ’lady. Enjoy your Nightmare Night?”
“Yes we have. We did not think scaring our subjects would make us loved and admired.”
“Only on this night, princess. Don’t start scaring ponies every night.”
“We would not dare terrify our citizens after tonight, we are no longer Nightmare Moon.”
“You don’t have to preach to me, Luna. I know you mean well and wish to put away that moniker.”
Luna gives off a smile that feels genuine and we stand by the lake’s edge in comfortable silence.

“It appears that Rainbow Dash has had her night turned around.” Or so I thought, dammit.
“So you heard us.” It was a statement rather than a question.
“I understand your predicament, somewhat.” She walks before me, “However, my sister and I have both informed you that we could not bring you back to your world.”
“Doesn’t mean that there isn’t away. If there is a will, there is a way. I just have to go look for it.”
“And in the meantime, you would push those closest to you away?”
“Of course not, I would help them in anyway possible. Being Dashie’s special someone isn’t going to help her.”
“How would you know?”
“Luna, I’m human. Dashie is a pegasus. Two completely different species. In the world I come from, there are no talking ponies. There are no pegasi or unicorns or even alicorns. We are raised by fellow humans and taught to love only fellow humans. We are taught that it is because of procreation, because it was what our gods intended for us, because that is what the public allows.”
“That is...disturbing.”
“Hell, we were taught to love the opposite sex. Men to women, boy to girl. Most religions reject the notion of same sex love. If we couldn’t accept guy on guy action or girl on girl action, we wouldn’t accept human on pony relations.”
“....I see... What is your view on it?”
“On what? Gay relationships? I say go love who you want to love. Doesn’t matter if they’re the same sex. Love isn’t constricted.”
“Yet your reaction to Rainbow Dash’s feelings...”
“I told her that I acknowledge them, but I don’t reciprocate them. I was raised to love another human being and I do. Abby is who I love and will continue to do so. I would do anything to be with her.”
“I see.”
“I’m sorry that I hurt Dashie’s feelings, but I just don’t feel the same. The concept isn’t exactly foreign to me, but it isn’t something I practice. I’m sorry.”

And like that, it was silent once more. I sat down by the water edge sometime during my rant. Luna was lying on her legs beside me. Maybe I wasn’t completely lying when I said I came out here for a break, but now I felt more drained than ever.

“You shouldn’t apologize for that. It’s not something you control.” Luna says.
“I may not control my upraising, but I do control my beliefs. If I didn’t have Abby, if I had been here longer, then maybe... I don’t know, but maybe.”
It was the honest truth. Or rather, my perception of what I can say could happen.

“I see. You continue to surprise us, Nedward, with each meeting. I’m afraid that I am also less than truthful with our purpose here.”
“So your not here to spy on my social life?” I couldn’t resist to tease.
“Oh heavens no, that would be... terrible to do to a friend.”
“Oh, I’m friends with royalty?” I may be teasing too much.
“Yes! Are we not more than acquaintances?” She flushes.
“Yes, we definitely are friends Luna.”
“Good, anyway, Bedivere has brought to our attention that you had sustained severe injuries at the Hollow.” Her eyes gaze over my form as she spoke about injuries.
“Yea, well Bedivere did a good job fixing me up. I have a few scars, but I’m all fine and dandy.”
“Yes, but that was because she was there to heal the damages before they became too threatening. What would happen if you were alone?” Thats a frightening concept.
“Well, I have a few pain-numbing potions and one that may or may not heal minor injuries.”
“Those may not be enough if you were to encounter something much more dangerous than an Arachne.”
“Very true.” If one Arachne could break me like that, imagine what the more fearsome creatures of the dark age could do.
“It is then that Sister and I have arranged an accordance that would help you on your tasks.”
“Accordance? And how would this help me?” I should also ask about the fact she said, ‘tasks’.
“We have made a deal with an old friend to gift you a magical artifact.”
“Now that sounds promising.” I wonder if its Avalon? Nah.

---

Luna and I talked for some time about when and where I was suppose to get this artifact. Eventually, we called it a night and Luna and her guards took to the night sky back towards Canterlot. I made my way back to the library to find Spike gobbling down the leftovers from our snack batch that was for trick-or-treaters. I was too tired to overreact to him, but I did give him a good whack to the head. Dashie probably hasn’t told anyone about what I said as Twilight didn’t act any different. 
She did ask if I could continue that epic of the Odyssey, but I told her I was far too tired to do so. 
“Maybe another time, Twi.” I said to her.
The three of us had gotten out of costume and prepared for bed. 

“Goodnight Ned, goodnight Twilight.” Spike tiredly calls.
“Goodnight Ned, goodnight Spike.” Twilight drowsily beckons.
“Goodnight Spike, goodnight Twi.” Ned...err..I lazily mumble.

The lights go out and before the dark engulfs all, a thought ran through my head.

Is she still waiting for me? 

I am socially awkward, and it is my fault.