A Final Crisis of Conscience

by Emeral Bookwise


No More Running, No More Hiding

The void between worlds is a strange place, paradoxically filled both with every sight, sound, scent, taste, and other sensation possibly imaginable –plus more still that are beyond comprehension– and yet also nothing at all. In fact, even to call it a place at all was utter nonsense.

Everyplace and no place, everything and yet nothing at all. Madness that is so deep it wraps back onto itself becoming sanity again, only to go instantly mad all over again in an endless cycle. Every potential of possibility played out both in an instant and yet also dragged out indefinitely for all eternity. It was somewhere no mortal was ever meant to tread, and yet for the second time in her life a little pony found herself hurtling through this impossible space.

This time, however, was different. Previously she had been barely conscious and bleeding her own magic all the way. Also the falling, always falling as if it had been all she ever knew and all she ever would. Now though, it was more like being sucked through a straw or perhaps as though she were pulled by an invisible rubber band — both at the same time — neither at all — or did such distinctions even matter in this place that was not a place?

Just trying to wrap her mind around such concepts made the little pony's head hurt, and so for perhaps the only time in her life she chose not to question or ponder, but merely accept.

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Twilight Sparkle hadn't known what to expect, rushing winds, peals of lighting, a sphere of nothingness displacing reality to herald her return before depositing her at the bottom of a smoldering crater. What actually happened though was decidedly anticlimactic. One moment she had been in that impossible gulf between worlds and the next she found herself sitting in the central town square of Poniszawa next to a fountain, almost as if she had never left in the first place. Certainly none of the ponies in the surrounding area seemed to pay her arrival any mind, going about their ordinary daily routines undisturbed, heedless of the lavender unicorn that but mere moments before hadn't been there.

Had she awoken in her bed, she might have dismissed it all as just a dream. It could still possibly have been some kind of delusion, but she was fairly certain she was still sane and in control of all her faculties. Plus, there had been the promises she had made to herself –No more running, no more hiding– not just from the law but from herself either. It was time for Twilight Sparkle to own up to all her mistakes no matter the consequences.

... and yet ...

Could she really do it? Could she really bring herself to just surrender to the authorities?

It would be so easy to just disappear, and even though she had promised both to herself and to the princess, she couldn't deny that the temptation was there. Then she remembered just how lonely and isolated these past few months had been. She couldn't go back to living like that, with no family, no future, no hope. Still, it was hard, and Twilight felt her stomach turning in knots while her hooves seemed as though they were rooted in place, and she was afraid. Not of the punishment and humiliation that awaited her, but of her own cowardice. She feared that if she so much as tried to move from where she sat she would in spite of herself runaway all over again.

"No!"

She hadn't realized her cry was made aloud until another mare walked up to her, "pardon me miss, but is everything alright?"

"Yes... no... I mean..." Twilight stammered as her jaw quavered in dread of the words she was trying to form. "I... I need a..." she gulped audibly, "a police office."

The other mare's expression of concern deepened, "Are you in some kind of trouble, miss? Are you hurt? I can help carry you to the hospital."

"I... just please... please go and find a police officer, and do it as quickly as you can."

The other mare looked confused and hesitant, but nodded. As Twilight watched the pony trot off, she breathed a sigh of relief; it was all finally going to be over; there was no longer any turning back now.

... and yet ...

There was no telling how long it would take for an officer to arrive. Even if she didn't have time to run she could still teleport. It would be so simple, so effortlessly easy that she absently felt the familiar spell weave its way through her horn.

With a smack of her own hoof, Twilight forcefully denied any such traitorous desires. She would hold firm in her resolve and bring the nightmare of these past few months to its final and inevitable close. She repeated her promise again and again like a mantra, whether aloud or only in her own head she didn't know.

'No more running, no more hiding.'

Still, her breaths increasingly came in ever more frantic pants with each passing moment as she sat, eyes clenched tightly shut and every muscle in her body held tense. She shut out all distractions and focusing on the singular task of not abandoning her promise.

'No more running, no more hiding.'

...

'No more running, no more—'

"Excuse me, but I was told you needed some kind of assistance."

Twilight nearly jumped from her own skin when she was tapped on the shoulder. Now, as she slowly brought her eyes back into focus, and with them her mind back to her present circumstances, she couldn't help but tremble at the imposing figure of the uniformed stallion in front of her. Though his face bore a genuinely helpful, if concerned smile, to Twilight it felt almost like a cruel mockery of her impending doom.

Clearly the officer didn't recognize her on sight, maybe because he'd not been part of the raid to capture her, or perhaps he was only a new recruit hired in the interim after she'd made her escape. It didn't matter, though it certainly would have made things so much easier if he had identified her on sight. Part of her would have preferred being violently tackled to ground over this. Again she felt the temptation to flee, or just make up some lie — it would be so easy.

She muttered once over, "No more running, no more hiding," and then held a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite hear that."

Exhaling sharply Twilight finally spoke the words that would forever seal her fate, "I need you to arrest me."

The officer cocked his head briefly than knocked a hoof against his ear, "Sorry, but I think I must have misheard that last part. It sounded like you said you wanted me to arrest you."

That traitorous part of her screamed once more in vain, demanding that she flee, that she do anything she could to escape. She could still do it, it would be so— "No!"

The outburst hadn't been a denial of guilt but only to silence her own thoughts before they bested her resolve, and so she quickly amended, "I mean yes. My name is Twilight Sparkle and I'm a wanted fugitive... and don't look at me like that. I am not insane, I'm just tired. So very, very tired... and all I want to do is see my family one last time before I have to serve out my debt to society."

She held out her fore-hooves so they could be easily cuffed. She also lowered her head, in a mix of defeated resignation, mournful shame, and of course to make it easier for the officer to slip a magic suppression ring onto her horn. She breathed deeply, however, as she sat fully committed, her fears all seemed to finally evaporate. It was all over; at long last it was all finally over.

...

No more running, no more hiding.