//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Ponies IRL. S**t. // Story: How I Became Rainbow Dash // by Lt Rainbow Slash //------------------------------// CHAPTER 7: PONIES IRL. S**T OUTSKIRTS EVERFREE FOREST, EQUESTRIA SUNDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2010 7:40 AM CST Well this sucks. I thought to myself as we trudged through the everfree. We had been going for at least half an hour now and had several things happen, including: Twilight falling off a cliff and being saved by AJ, me and Flutters, been attacked by a manticore which Fluttershy calmed, everybody but me got scared by some trees with faces which Pinkie laughed away, AND crossed a river after Rarity calmed the sea serpent who had lost his 'moostaash', I think he called it, now here we were trotting towards where we thought the ruins were. "There it is, the ruin that holds The Elements of Harmony. We made it" Twi said rushing off towards them. "Twilight, wait for us." AJ yelled after her. She looked back at us and not where she was going "We're almost there. Whoa!" "What's with you and falling off cliffs today?" I asked pulling her back from the broken bridge. "*sigh* Now what?" Pinkie wondered. "Duh." I said wiggling my wings "OH ya!" Said pinkie as I flew down and brought the bridge back up to the other side. I had one rope tied when I heard something. "Rainbow..." Who called my name? "Who's there?" "Rainbow..." the voice came again. "I ain't scared of you! Show yourself!" I said taking up a fighting stance. "We've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flyer in Equestria." Wha? "Who?" Are they taking about me? "Why, you of course." "Really?! I mean... Oh yeah, me. Hey, uh, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? 'cause I've been trying to get into that group for like, ever." "No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join us, The Shadowbolts." The voice came as three ponies appeared in front of me looking like darker wonderbolts, "We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. The most magnificent-" "Yep." "Swiftest-" "Yes." "Bravest flyer in all the land." "Yes, hee hee, it's all true." I flamboyantly stated (Who says I don't know big words?). "We need... you." "WOOHOO! Sign me up. Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal." "No! It's them or us." Their leader stated. "Rainbow, what's taking so long?" I heard a faint voice say. Oh boy. What do I do? A spot on a elite flying team or my friends? "Well?" AH Hell wit it! I'm not leaving my friends, or my name isn't Rainbow Dash! "You... Thank you! For the offer, I mean, but I'm afraid I have to say no." I said tying the bridge and flying back to my friends. They started cheering. "See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'!" We cantered, or in my case, flew, over the bridge into the ruins. "Whoa. Come on, Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' for?" Exclaimed AJ as we walked into the ruin and saw a few carved stones on a pedestal. "The Elements of Harmony, we've found them!" said Twilight as me and Flutters flew back and forth a few times depositing the stones on the ground. "One, two, three, four... There's only five!" noted Pinkie. Weren't there six? "Where's the sixth?" I asked "The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed." "What in th' hay is that suppose to mean?" Asked a confused AJ. "I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen." Ordered Twilight. "Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate." We left the room. Suddenly there was a sound like a twister and a bright light coming from where we left Twi. "Twilight!" We rushed in to see a Twi jump into a twister which vanished. "Twilight! Where are you?" Yelled AJ. "LOOK!" Rarity yelled pointing at a ruined building a little ways away that's windows were glowing. We all rushed out the door and ran in the direction of the building. ************************************************** MY HOUSE GREATER VANCOUVER, B.C. CANADA MONDAY, OCTOBER 11, 2010 7:32 AM PDT "unng" I slowly got out of bed to do early morning weather pat-I mean, school. WOW. Only one day that time. What an adventure! We had gone into the building where we discovered Twilight facing off against Nightmare Moon. She then launched into a speech about friendship before showing that each of us represented an element of harmony, somehow (I wont even begin to pretend I know how magic works) causing a necklace to appear around each of our necks, and a tiara to appear on Twi's head. Then some sorta power came from the elements and hit Nightmare Moon with the best thing, a rainbow, causing her to turn back into Princess Luna. Afterwords I asked Twilight what her human name was. She was hesitant until I told her that I was a dude turned mare as well. Turns out she was my best friend as a human, Jonathan Bullock. Anyway, I went through my boring human morning routine before stepping outside to go to school. Now normally I get ready the fastest and end up standing outside with my thoughts for five minutes or so waiting for my brother, and my Mom to drive us to school. I stepped out and closed the door behind me, walking forward a few steps I ran into something invisible, or close to invisible actually. Did I mention it was a foggy day? What the? I thought while examining this fluffy feeling invisible wall. Warte! It's not a wall! My pegasus magic! It's kicking in while I'm human. What the Buck!? I quickly turned down my magic just like I would in Equestria, allowing me to walkthrough the clouds like a normal person. When I got to the edge of the walkway to the driveway I turned it back up and dug a mini tunnel until I was about six feet off the ground in clouds. Ha. This is gonna scare the crap outta Aussi and Mom! Now these aren't normal clouds, these are just wispy fog clouds. I started grabbing clouds off the sides of my 'tunnel' and compressing them until I had a wonderfully cartoonish cloud hovering about six feet off the ground. The cool thing about pegasi magic is that any cloud you touch will stay still for five or so hours and you can adjust your magic thingy so you can walkthrough clouds by how dense they are. For instance in my case I could adjust so that I would sit on the denser cloud I made and let the fog just roll past. So thats what I did. Five minutes later I heard the door open but not close, so I sat up and looked to see Mom and Austin just staring at me. "What?" I said with the most nonchalance I could muster. Austin just deadpanned, "You're sitting on a cloud." Looking at my cloud I feigned surprise, "So I am." "How?" was all Mom could say. hmmm...truth, half-truth, or lie? Ehh, half-truth. "I have no idea." I said grabbing a dodgeball sized chunk and standing up before lifting my foot and smashing the cloud and dropping six feet. I took the cloud and put it in my backpack to show may friends (Technically not a lie, I have no idea how magic works). I wonder if that means Kelsey and Jon can use their magic? ************************************************** A HOUR LATER Turns out yes, they could use their magic. I walked into Intergraded class and sat in my usual desk next to Jon. "So do you remember?" he asked, as he hadn't quite believed me in Equestria. "Hell yeah. How would I forget that adventure, as a pegasus no less." I replied keeping my voice low for the last part. "By the way, you might want to see this." I said opening my backpack to show him the cloud. "I found my weather magic worked as a human for some reason." I told him grabbing the cloud and moving it around in my pack a little to show him. When he reached in his hand went right through it. I saw that the teacher was ready and we went though the usual boring routine until we got our free time in the last 20 minutes in class. Beckoning Kels over from her seat at the back we moved over to the couch over on the side of the room. "Whats up?" She asked as she walked over. "This." I said showing her the cloud. "So does that mean that your magic is working?" "Seems that way." "Well then let me try." Said Jon reaching into his pack and pulling out a pencil and putting it on my lap. He then thought for a sec before putting his hand out like Jedi do in Star Wars when using the force. His hand glowed purple like his\Twilights horn and the pencil was lifted up for a couple of seconds before dropping. Luckily no one saw it happen so Kels took a quick try achieving the same result except her magic was blue like her\Rarity's horn. "Scheisse. Thats awesome." I said. Without wings my magic was useless unless it was foggy, which wasn't often. "Well thats good to know." Said Kelsey. "Yup." ************************************************** SEMIAHMOO SECONDARY SCHOOL GREATER VANCOUVER, B.C. CANADA MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2011 9:03 AM PDT Geez. It's been how long? Four months since I gained useless magical abilities? Still at least my Mom and Austin forgot the 'Cooper can walk on clouds' thing so quick. I was in guitar class at school. We normally had free practice time so thats what I was doing. "-ainbow Dash" I heard Ely call my name. "What?" I said turning around and seeing Ely with a WTF face. OKeyyy then. I thought turning back towards my phone which had some song chords on it. "So Rainbow Dash wen-" "What?" I said with annoyance in my voice. "Is your name Rainbow Dash?" Asked Ely equally annoyed. "Yup!" Wait. Oh, Scheisse! "Really Cooper?" "Umm...In a sense." Hell wit it. I'll tell him everything if he promises not to tell anyone. But how does he know about me? Is he a pony too? "Listen, I'll explain if we go somewhere more private." Pointing to Kieran and Joel who Ely had been talking to about ME. "Alright. I wanna hear this." He said as I lead him to the other side of the room away from anyone. "Where did you hear that name?" I asked. "Rainbow Dash is a character in a TV show called My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic." "Wow, and what does she look like?" I asked, He's gonna say 'sky blue pegasus with a rainbow mane' isn't he? "She's a sky blue pegasus with a rainbow mane" Called it. "What the buck. How is this possible?" "How is what possible?" "I'm her." "WHAT?!" "You heard me." "How?" "I have no idea." "What happened?" "Well....... ************************************************* "...And here I am." "Wow. So, whenever you go to sleep you wake up as Rainbow and whenever you go to sleep as Rainbow you wake up as Cooper? But how do I know you're not B.S.ing me?" "You know how Kels is Rarity?" Ely nodded, "Well, she'll probably slip like I did." I quickly turned and shouted at her, "Hey! Rare!" "Yes dear?" She said head turned in my direction, before she realized what had happened. "Cooper!" She stood up and walked over. "I thought we were keeping it a secret!" "From everyone but Ely." "Why?" "Cause he's a...'Brony' I think you called it?" "And what is a 'Brony'?" "A dude who watches MLP:FIM (He said the full thing, I'm Just gonna put that to save me some typing from now on). It's a TV show about 6 mares who go on adventures and learn about friendship. Simplified, if Coop speaks the truth, its about you guys as ponies." Explained Ely. "Yup." "What? There's a TV show about us?" "Here, I have an episode on my phone, it's called 'Sonic Rainboom.'" "Huh. It's about my mental breakdown at the Best Young Flyers competition and Ms. Fancy-ass wings here isn't it?" I guessed earning a death-glare from Kels. "Yup. Either you're secretly a brony, or you're telling the truth." I reached down and grabbed my cloud out of my backpack and held it for him to see. "What's that?" he asked puzzled. "A cloud." I told him in my most neutral voice. "How?" "Our magic abilities carried over somehow." This cloud has been around for quite a while now. Ely reached out and touched the cloud but of course went right through. Kels then grabbed his phone out of his hands to demonstrate her magic abilities. "Watch the video on there and tell me how accurate it is." He said in a stunned voice. 20 minutes later after the video ended I was in shock. That's exactly what happened! What the hell!? "Well?" asked Ely as he came walking over. "That is exactly what happened!" I blurted. "Hey! I know how to prove to you that that's us! The next time I know I'm on screen I'll say 'Hi Ely!' OK?" "Cool!" ************************************************** MY HOUSE PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIA SATURDAY, MAY 7, 2011 10:13 PM CST Sometimes I wish I could stay as a pony when I wake up as a human. Two days ago had been the Grand Galloping Gala. Hell we fucked that up pretty bad. I had also heard from Ely that yesterday had been the season finale for MLP and our many fuck ups at the gala had been the focus, Yay. The episode that I randomly spouted Ely's name had ended up as 'A Dog and Pony Show'. Heh, I loved it as Twi was stating the friendship lesson I just popped up in a 'Pinkie Pie' manner and said 'Hey Ely!' before popping back down, earning five hilarious 'WTF?' faces from my friends. Anyway I jumped in my cloud bed and promptly fell asleep of course slowly waking back up in my bed in Vancouver. "Cooper. Time to get up!" came my mom as she poked her head in my room to wake me up, as always. "K just a sec." "Cooper?" She asked as she came further into my room. "What?" I said, still groggy from me just waking up. "Oh my god!" Now I was getting scared, sitting up in my bed I asked, "What?! What happen..." Thats when I noticed my voice was not my regular human one, nor was my body. OH! Wha? (Warning! Warning! Brain Malfunction) "I...I'm...I'm Rainbow Dash. I...I'm Rainbow...HOLY-SHIT-I-TURNED-INTO-RAINBOW-DASH!!"