Trixie's Magic Report

by TittySparkles

Celestia's slightly more annoying student

The room was quiet save for the soft sounds of a pencil shifting aimlessly against paper and a clock ticking away on the wall.  Sitting at her desk, Celestia waited for her pupil to finish her daily report and was quietly going over other reports from the school day. Celestia gave a deep sigh and turned to the clock. It was getting late in the afternoon. Leaning her body back, the mare rubbed her head to try and keep herself calm.

“Trixie,” Celestia said to the azure mare. “Are you really having this much trouble?” Of course Celestia knew Trixie was, but she had hope, even if she didn't know what for.

Trixie nearly jumped out of her flesh and quickly looked up at the slightly irked teacher sitting behind her desk.

“N-no! Trixie is not having trouble at all! She is just making sure everything is perfect with her report!” Trixie replied, shifting her eyes from Celestia to her paper.

Sadly, Trixie was lying through her teeth and the only words she had on her report were “What I learned in magic class today is...” and all that followed were scribbles of Trixie calling herself best pony or doodles of her performing tricks and feats on a stage. That was her dream–to be a performer and have the audience love every second of it. But now, once more she was at the end of her rope with her magic report, and this time she didn’t even have enough imagination to pull something creative out of her ass. She was totally screwed.

“Trixie, if you can’t write a paragraph...” Celestia started to say, looking back at the clock and noticing she would be running late for her tea date with an advisor from the Griffon kingdom if she didn’t finish up. “I’ll settle for a simple sentence of what you learned.”

“T-Trixie knows that! She is just... um... using her ingenuity right now!” Trixie replied back, sweat pouring like a river down her brow. Her scribbles were really turning random now, black blots and squiggly lines her only productive work. “What I learned today in magic school is... what I learned today in magic school is...”

Celestia rolled her eyes and laid her forehead on her desk, while her student went about her way with her mental breakdown. “Ten words. That’s all I’m asking. Ten, teeny, tiny words. You already have eight, Trixie. ‘What I learned today in magic school is...’ you only need two little words and you can leave.”

“What I learned in magic school today is...” Trixie started hyperventilating, sucking in huge gasps of air like a fish out of water. “Is it hot in here?” Trixie asked, waving her hoof to fan herself as her panic levels rose higher and higher. “Why is it so hot in here, Princess Celestia?”

“Please stop stalling, Ms. Lulamoon,” Celestia replied, her temper starting to show up tandem with her annoyance. “What I learned in magic school today is... 'blankity blank!' It should not be this hard for you to write two more words.”

“Umm, uhh,” Trixie stammered out seeing how annoyed Celestia was getting with her, before she started to scribble random words at the end of it.

“Maybe this?” Trixie said to herself scribbling ‘da magics’ at the end of the sentence.

“Oh? You have something for me, I take it?” Celestia said as a small smile came across her face.

For a brief second Trixie grabbed the paper with magic and slowly floated it up to Celestia before she panicked and brought it back down.

“N-no! That’s no good at all! Let me try it again!” Trixie added, crossing out the words before thinking of something else.

Celestia scoffed, not wanting to wait any longer. Grabbing the paper with her own magic, Celestia started to tug on it.

“Trixie, just give me the paper already!” Celestia told her. “You needed just two words!”

“W-wait! It’s not ready!” Trixie shouted, trying to write words down on the paper while they both fought for it.

“Trixie, the report is done so just let go and give it to me already!” Celestia replied, her frustrations hitting an all-time high.

“No! I need it to be perfect! It has to be perfect like me!” Trixie rebutted.

Before Celestia could reply, the sound of paper ripping filled the room, stopping both of them in their tracks. Trixie tared on with a nervous look while Celestia just sighed deeply before grabbing some nearby tape and fixing it. Taking the moment to write something, Trixie blindly scribbled down letters in hopes it would make something presentable for her teacher to read. Letting her frantic mind wander about, the letters quickly appeared on the paper. Seeing her student write something down without panicking, Celestia fixed the paper and looked at it right away.

A long and awkward silence filled the room as Celestia inspected the report. Crossed out words were everywhere, along with silly stick figure drawing of what looked like a pony in a cape, doing tricks of some kind. Finally at the bottom of the page was a sentence in the form of thirteen words.

“Trixie,” Celestia said in a calm and neutral tone that made Trixie nearly jump out of her seat. “This report will do. You may leave.”

“B-But is it–”

“YOU MAY LEAVE!” Celestia boomed, sending the frightened filly out of her seat and out the door.

Once Trixie was gone, Celestia rubbed the side of her head with her hoof before turning her attention to a nearby drawer. Grabbing the handle with her magic, Celestia smiled at the small bottle of brandy sitting on the bottom. Wrapping her magic around it she took off the cap and started to down it. Half a bottle of brandy later, she stopped and tried to calm herself down before looking at the words again.

“What I learned in magic school today is... sun butt is worst pony,” she said quietly before taking another shot.