//------------------------------//
// 91. Evening in the Abbey 
// Story: Rebirth of the Damned 
// by Borsuq 
//------------------------------//

	“I must admit, it wasn’t as bad as I feared.” Matthias told Applejack about an hour later as they left the Ponyville Schoolhouse behind.
“Why, did’ya think ponies were gonna eat ya?” she asked him with a smirk.
“Well, that annoying mare seemed prepared to.” he retorted, but his own smirk was ruined by the enormous yawn that escaped him.
“Think ya might be workin’ yarself too hard?” Applejack asked with concern, noticing the signs of overworking.
“Probably,” Matthias replied, shrugging, “but I can cope with it.’
“Matt-”
“Let me stop you right here.” he told her, already guessing what she was going to say. “Yes, I know that working too hard for too long is bad, but it can’t be helped. I need those four to become full-fledged paladins soon, as I plan to have many more new initiates by the end of October at least. And I can hardly ask anypony for help with the other things I have to deal with.”
“What’s the hurry?” Applejack asked as the Abbey’s limits became visible.
“I have my reasons.” Matthias replied, not wanting to go into that now, if ever. “So, how are things between you and Rainbow?”
Instead of replying, she gave him the look that could kill.
“I meant if you are okay with each other after what happened.” he quickly explained, not wanting her to think that he was joking at her expense, which would probably result with him getting bucked into face.
“Okay, Ah guess.” she replied, then sighed. “Honestly, Ah don’t know what to think of this anymore. Why do we always do things like that when we’re drunk or somethin’?”
“I have no idea. Such... acts, or overall attraction-”
“Ah am not attracted to Rainbow Dash!” she hissed.
“-between two beings of the same gender is rare on Azeroth.” Matthias continued, although he moved slightly away from her. “It’s mostly common amongst pirates and such.”
“Ya still have those?” Applejack asked more calmly, with a hint of superiority in her voice.
“I will tell you though that when you’re drunk often do a lot of stupid things.” he told her, not taking the bait. “Things you would never do if you were sober.”
“So... ya don’t think all of that means Ah’m a fillyfooler?”
“You seem unhappy, perhaps even borderline disgusted when you recall those things, so I would assume that you’re not. And I figure that the Element of Honesty wouldn’t lie to herself.”
Applejack chuckled in amusement hearing that.
“Ah guess so... still though, Ah can’t be really certain that Ah like boys if Ah haven’t even kissed one, don’t Ah?” she asked, and Matthias noticed heat arising on her cheeks.
“... Is this is going where I think it is?” he asked, growing uncomfortable.
“Well, ya did kiss everypony else from our friends.” Applejack replied in defense, now definitely blushing.
“Um...” the stallion stammered, unsure what to say.
“Heck, ya even kissed the Changelin’ Queen!”
“That was-”
“Ah bet ya’ve kissed Princess Luna, too-”
“Thank the Light, no.” he replied, then, as he realized how that sounded, immediately looked up to the sky. To his misfortune, the night has already begun, and the moon was already high above them. “Damn, I hope she hadn't heard that.”
“Wait, what?”
“Luna has the ability to observe Equestria through the moon.” Matthias told her. “But let's return to the subject. Applejack, are you... offended?”
“Well... kinda.” the mare replied with embarrassment. “Ah mean, do ya think Ah’m... ugly or som-”
“Applejack, if you weren’t a mare, I would’ve slapped you right now.” Matthias interrupted her, his annoyance overcoming his discomfort over the topic of conversation. “For both thinking that I could think about you like that, as well as thinking anypony would think you’re ugly.” heat rising again on her cheeks, Applejack looked away, while Matthias continued. “As for why I haven’t kissed you, it’s because I’m really not that type of guy. With Twilight and Fluttershy it was an accident, with Rarity it was her being tipsy and insisting that she this would fix things between us after the wedding, and with Pinkie Pie it was Pinkie Pie.”
“And with Rainbow?”
“I... I dunno.” he hesitated, knowing that she didn’t mean just the kiss. “I suppose I found this sort of relationship intriguing, since I’ve never tried it.”
“So if Ah or anypony else from our friends tried to offer this to ya before Rainbow ya would’ve agreed?”
“We both know you’re not that kind of a mare, Applejack.” he told her in quieter voice, as they were approaching the entrance to the Abbey.
“And ya just said that yar not that kind of a guy.” she reminded him in an amused tone, but still bearing blush of embarrassment. Applejack then looked at the ground for a second, then back to him: “Matt... Ah wanna think about this, but... if after a few days Ah would ask ya again...”
“Sure.” Matthias replied, despite the foreboding feeling he had. “What’s a little kiss between friends?”
“Well, this whole darn thin’ started from two friends kissin’.” Applejack reminded him with a half-smile.
“Speaking of, will you want me to get Rainbow drunk so you can compare?” he asked, smirking, which then earned him a punch upside the head.
They ceased their discussion at that point, as they approached Storm Crash standing guards at the entrance. Normally, it was a duty of Sound Wave and Cherry Bomb, but Matthias had given them both a free night, which they not surprisingly were planning to spend by usual night-time activities soldiers have while on a leave.
“Good evening, sir, miss.” Storm greeted them as they approached. Turning to Applejack, he added: “Your sister had already headed back home.”
“Thanks. And ya don’t hav’ta call me miss, partner.” she told him, her voice returning to her usual tone. “Just Applejack is fine.”
“I will try to remember that.”
“Ah guess Ah better get goin’, then.” Applejack added, turning to leave. “Good night, y’all.”
“Good night- oh wait, I forgot!” Matthias quickly stopped her. “Do you mind if I would send my initiates to work on your farm? I want them to increase their strength and stamina.”
As he said it, Applejack looked at him puzzled, and was about to ask him a question, but then he winked in a way so that Storm wouldn’t see it.
“Sure!” Applejack replied enthusiastically, understanding what he was getting at. “Ah can always use free hooves.”
“Great, you can expect them shortly after dawn, then. Good night.”
As she walked away, heading to her home, Matthias’ gaze continued to follow her until he was sure she was out of earshot. When she was, he sighed and slumped down.
“Is everything alright, sir?” Storm asked him in concern.
“You mean besides the fact that I had probably made my life somehow even more complicated just a few minutes ago? Everything is just fine then, I guess.” he replied sarcastically, but seeing the pegasus’ puzzled expression, he shook his head. “Forget about it. Had Sound and Bomb already left?”
“No, they’re still in their bunks. Um, sir, maybe you should go with them?” Storm suggested. “Since you seem so troubled, you could use some relaxation.”
“As tempting as it may be, I fear that the form of relaxation that those two are planning - namely getting drunk - would definitely make my life more complicated.” Matthias told him, although there was a trace of wistfulness in his voice. “Your concern is appreciated, but I would rather meditate, if I had a time for it.”
“Of course, sir.” Storm replied, but one didn’t need to be a Grand Master of a paladin order to see that the pegasus wanted to say something.
“Storm, if you want to say something, just say it.” Matthias said, rubbing his eyes. “And you can stop calling me ‘sir’, I am far too tired at the moment to care about ceremonies and what not.”
“Well, okay then... Lightbringer.” the other stallion said shyly, making Matthias immediately regret his words. But he did his best to not show it, as he didn’t want to stress Storm Clash. “I was wondering if your reluctance to leaving the Abbey for the night wouldn’t have anything to do with... well, with Rainbow Dash.”
“How many times one subject can be touched during one day?” the paladin wondered, looking at Storm with annoyance.
“Before I answer your question, let me answer the one that would follow shortly: Rainbow and I are, as they call it, ‘friends with benefits’. And as for my reluctance and all, it has little to do with it, although I’ll admit that spending nights with her seems about my only form of true relaxation I have left these days.”
“Ow, I see.” Storm said, blinking. “I must say, Lightbringer, you didn’t strike me as a pony who...”
“Bucks with a friend without any commitment?” Matthias hinted, seeing the other stallion was having a problem. “Honestly, I’m not like that, and this situation continues to... surprise me...” he paused, glancing around as it suddenly hit him that something weird was going on. “Where is Tucker?” he asked Storm. “Usually, whenever such subjects are brought up, he comes running or teleporting out of nowhere.”
“Tartarus, he should have appeared when Applejack and I were talking!” Matthias thought, not sure if he should be relieved or concerned.
“Oh, he’s at the park, reading his libram.” Storm said, and noticing his superior disbelieving gaze, he shrugged. “You’ve set the deadline for tomorrow.”
“So he’s now trying to learn everything?” Matthias asked, not really expecting an answer. He wondered how the unicorn would fare at this ‘test’. “Although, I must admit I’m impressed with him... as much as one can be impressed when it comes to him, anyway.” shaking his head, he sighed and decided to go have a talk with Tucker. “Carry on, Storm.”
“Of course.” the pegasus replied with a bow of his head.
Matthias entered the Abbey and headed straight for the park area. However, as he was about to pass the barracks, Guard Shield exited the building, and spotting Matthias he trotted towards him.
“Yes?”
“Sir, some new documents came in for you to sign.” Guard informed him.
“More paperwork!?” Matthias thought in annoyance. “Light damn it, there’s only seven of us here! I bet Uther didn’t need to deal with such bureaucracy... and he had fingers!”
“I took the liberty of putting them on your desk in your office, sir.” Guard continued, oblivious to his superior’s inner raging.
“Thank you, Guard, and you can skip the formalities. I am too tired of hearing ‘sir’ over and over for a while.” he told him, as if his body wanted to punctuate the message, he yawned. “Since we’re already talking, mind if I ask you few things?”
“Sure, si- I mean, Matthias.” Guard Shield replied.
“Why did you become a royal guard?”
“Well... when I a young colt, I once saw Princess Celestia during the Summer Sun Celebration.” the other earth pony said, looking surprised that he wanted to know this. “I remember that Her Majesty emanated with such... power, beauty and charisma, that I decided that I wanted to protect her once I grow up.”
“And yet, now you are here.” Matthias pointed out.
“Because now that I grow up, I want to protect not only the Princess, but the whole Equestria. And also, Matthias... I’ve seen you as back in Canterlot once. You also posses this... presence, inspire such loyalty as Princess Celestia, although on a smaller scale.”
Matthias smiled to him, hearing the complement, then looked to the sky, musing. He would not argue that Celestia inspired such feelings in others, as he himself felt that way as Guard described. If he had not, he wouldn’t have treated her and Luna with so much respect upon their first meeting or afterwards, despite their wisdom and power.
Celestia wasn’t just an alicorn pony, whose special talent was moving the sun. She - after a fashion - was the sun.
“The tauren managed to become paladins, not by worshipping the Holy Light, but by worship of An’she, the sun in their mythology.” Matthias mused. “By that logic, it’s no wonder why Celestia seems so divine. And Luna... she is the moon, but also a dream...”
After few seconds, he decided to stop him attempts at contemplating what alicorns were (before he would add Cadance into the mix). He had long since figured it was not worth trying to understand how Equestria worked; it was a world unlike the Azeroth or the Draenor, or even the Argus that he knew only from memories of the Lich King’s draenei death knights.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you try to keep yourself... isolated.” he broke the silence unexpectedly.
“Isolated?” Guard asked, not understanding.
“You spend your free time either studying your libram or the books in the library, polishing your skills with weapons... seldom you speak with other initiates, and even when you do it’s something that have to do with your training. And I won’t even bother mentioning about talking with ponies outside of the Abbey.”
“My duty is all that matters to me.” Guard replied.
“I figured.” Matthias spoke before he had a chance to say anything more. “I’ve seen your record of service. Taking your duties seriously is something you can be justly proud of. On a unrelated note, I wish some ponies shared your view.” he added with a glance where Tucker was supposed to be. “But... there is more to being a paladin- nay, being a pony, than duty. What vices do I have?”
“Sir?” Guards asked in confusion, surprised at the change of subject to the point that he forgot that he wasn’t supposed to address him such. “I don’t think you have any.”
“Well then, know that you’re wrong.” Matthias told him with a smile. “While I am slow to anger - and let me add that it’s only as of recently - when I fall into it I often find myself prepared to do horrible things, things that as a paladin I shouldn’t do. I am also arrogant, although that aspect of mine also took a step down since I came to Equestria. Once in my life I had thought that I was always right. I fear failing; be it at accomplishing goals or other ponies. And I am a sore loser.”
Some part of his brain pondered how he often thought of his fight with Illidan to be his greatest battle, and not the one that he lost life in, simply because at some level, he considered Tirion’s attack to be a cheap shot.
“However, thanks to the Light, and more importantly, my friends, I am overcoming all of those vices.” he continued. “That’s why I seem almost all the time so calm, collected, and ‘inspiring loyalty’ in others. But I’m still not perfect. Today, just about an hour ago or more, when some mare began to annoy me and calling me lewd for my relation with Rainbow Dash, I immediately went all ‘high and might’ on her, and told her a certain history lesson that caused her to shut up. That’s rather contrasting with how you said I appear, right?”
“I suppose...” Guard replied uncertainly.
“I had many more vices, shortcomings, or rather, those that I have today where even worse in the past. Because of them I had fallen into evil, and committed terrible sins. Once I came back to my senses, I became... wiser and humbler. Was I as before my fall to evil, well, suffices to say that I doubt I would have been trusted by the Princesses to train you all.” Matthias finished, and glanced back at Guard. “You’re probably wondering where this is all going.”
“A bit, yes.” the older stallion admitted.
“If you want to learn how to open yourself to the Light, to become a paladin, you cannot just hide behind your duty. Light connects everything that lives - if you cut yourself from other ponies, you won’t be able to help them. So,” he said, grinning “I’m ordering you to go with Sound Wave and Cherry Bomb to have some fun in Ponyville.”
“Err, sir, are you serious?” Guard Shield asked, bewildered.
“Yes. But you still have to get up in the morning, hangover or not. Now move, initiate.”
Guard looked as if he was going to protest, but after a heartbeat he merely sighed and muttering: “Yes, sir.” he went back into the barrack, searching for the two royal guards.
Matthias smirked with satisfaction and returned to his search for Tucker.
 
He found him not far away from Uther’s memorial. The light of his horn that he used to as a light source for reading purposes was a big help in that.
“I must say I’m impressed.” Matthias said as he draws closer.
“Well, sir, I had to get around reading it at some point.” the unicorn replied, giving him a short salute.
“Why are you reading it out here, though?”
“Hm...” Tucker pondered, rubbing his chin. “I’m not sure. I think that maybe after being in that crystal thingy for so long I became a subconscious claustrophobic. Which is worrisome, as I like tight places. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.”
“Are you determined to have your punishment extended?” Matthias asked calmly, despite a slight tick of his eyelid. “Anyway, how are doing?”
“Err, doing, sir?” Tucker asked, puzzled.
“With living among ponies, in the society.” he explained. “As your mentor and commanding officer, I wish to know if you have any problems.”
“With so many mares around, how could I have any problems?” Tucker replied with a smirk.
“Well, for starters, by your inability to get any of those mares.”
“I think Serenity is warming up to me. I felt an emotional connection between us the last time she hit me during training.”
“... Adorable.” Matthias said, realizing that the unicorn’s ego was as big as Rainbow Dash’s and that he might be slightly delusional. As such, attempts of getting anything out of him other than things like ‘I’m doing great’ were doomed to fail. He decided to ask about something else: “How about your memories, then? Had anything came up to you?”
“No.” Tucker replied, his voice losing his usual optimism and his ears dropping. “Every time I try to think back, all I see is greenish black. I... have this.... feeling, as if...” he paused, searching for words. “... I don’t know, sir.”
“I understand.” Matthias told him gently, rising. “If you do remember something, or you will just want to talk about it, you know where to look for me. But do try to spare me the usual things you talk about.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you.”
 



 
“Scootaloo, may I come in?” Matthias asked as he knocked on the door.
“Sure.” a reply came, almost immediately, even if the voice that uttered it was a little surprised.
Once he opened the door, Matthias was pleasantly surprised to see the young pegasus in his care reading ‘The Light and How to Swing It’ while laying in her bed.
“We tried to get our cutie marks by learning about the Light.” Scootaloo explained, seeing where his gaze travelled.
“How did it go?” he asked, although Scootaloo’s unhappy expression already told him.
“Well, we understood close to nothing from Chapel’s books, and we didn’t get our cutie marks, so not great.” she replied, putting the book away. Scootaloo then looked at him nervously. “How was the meeting?”
“It was interesting.” Matthias told her with a smirk. “There was one older mare that was inquiring why you were living here. She seemed dismayed, and her opinion was that you should have been sent back to the orphanage.”
“Hmf.” she snorted. “Must have been Featherweight’s mom. What was her problem this time?”
“Well...” he started slowly. As uncomfortable as it was, the talk with that mare prompted him to explain this to Scootaloo. “You know how Rainbow Dash is... sleeping here?”
“Yeah, I saw her once leaving in the morning.” Scootaloo replied, cocking her head to the side. “So those rumors about you two being special someponies are true?”
“Not exactly. Do you remember how once I told you that colts and fillies shouldn’t sleep with each other?”
“Oh, that.” she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “Twilight, Rarity and Applejack explained to us this back at Altomare.”
“Seriously?” he asked, confused. While he himself didn’t plan on telling her exactly what was it that he and Rainbow were doing, he most certainly didn’t expect the girls to have explained everything back then.
“Sweetie Belle kept asking why there was something like period.” Scootaloo said, slightly blushing due to the embarrassing topic of the conversation. “So we ended up having the ‘the birds and bees’ talk as well.”
“I see...” Matthias muttered. “Going back to me and Rainbow; yeah, we do all those things that special ponies are doing, but we’re not... serious.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, confused.
“Plainly, that we are still just friends.”
“Okay, I don’t follow. Why do you do it, then?”
“It’s difficult to explain. In short, we do it because it’s fun.” Matthias sighed with annoyance; he knew it was best to explain such things to her now, but that did not make it easier. “I’m telling you this because-
“- you don’t want to me to learn about it from some rumor or lie to me?” she asked, smirking. “I’m smart, you know.”
“I never doubted that you weren’t, kid.” he replied, brushing her head affectionately. “But you do realize that-”
“- it’s not something I should try to emulate?”
“Is there a mind reading trick in there?” Matthias asked with a pretended pout, pointing at Uther’s book and causing the filly to snort with laughter.
“Like I said...” Scootaloo said once she got a hold of herself, “they told as a lot back at Altomare. And they repeated the part about ‘not doing that until you’re older’ quite often at that.”
“I am so glad I slept through it, then.” he said, as it was easy for him to imagine how they would try to pull him into this conversation.
“They mentioned that some ponies do it just for fun, as well. Rarity didn’t have a high opinion of such ponies, especially mares...”
“Now listen here.” he stopped her, knowing how much she looked up to Rainbow. “Rarity’s opinion has its justifications, and I myself think rather lowly of some of those ponies, but this... thing between me and Rainbow is different. For one thing, we’re friends, and we care about each other. And,” he added with a smirk, “we’re both awesome. Ponies like-”
“-certain mares from Los Pegasus?”
“And now I believe that told you too much.” he replied sternly. “But yes, like those. You do realise that what I mean, right?”
“Yes, and that I have to wait for a special pony.” Scootaloo said, somewhat annoyed. “It’s not like I think about those things, anyway. Not to mention that there are no cool colts in our class.”
“For which I am relieved.” he retorted. “But since we’re done talking about this-”
“‘We’? I did the most of-” Scootaloo started, but stopped in favor of laughing at the annoyed face Matthias made.
“- how about we talk about school?” he finished, and the laughter immediately cased. “Miss Cheerilee told me that you had some serious problems in the past year with math.”
“Um, yeah...” the filly stammered, scratching her head and not meeting his eyes.
“So, since I’m free until afternoon, how about I give you some tutoring tomorrow and help you with homework?”
“Really?” she asked, looking up, and Matthias noticed in her eyes a mixture of both longing and resentment (the latter probably at math in general).
“Yeah, I’m sending the initiates off to work at Sweet Apple Acres, they don’t need me there to tell them what to do.” he replied to her question.
“Super.” Scootaloo said, but her smile was only half-heartened.
“Scootaloo...” Matthias, sensing what was troubling her, paused to pull her into a hug. “I’m not trying to replace your parents. Because besides how awful I would be at the job,” he paused to make a grimace, “I know that they will always be in your heart. But I am going to take care of you from now as long as you want, and that includes doing things you had done in the past with your parents, like helping you with your schoolwork.”
“I know, I understand that, but...” Scootaloo murmured, as her voice breaking. “I just... I miss them. And since I live here, I miss them more!”
“That’s because you feel guilty.” he explained to her as hugged him tighter. “You feel that because you life under somepony’s else care, even in such strange environment as this, you betray them. But Scoots...” he lifted her chin so that she would look him into eyes. There were tears in hers. “You’re parents aren’t feeling this way. Because you keep them here.” he pressed a hoof over her heart. “And that’s makes them more important than even Celestia.”
The filly smiled hearing that, but she stayed in a hug for few more moments. When they finally parted, Matthias said: “If you do well tomorrow, I will buy you some ice cream later.”
“Thanks.” Scootaloo replied, wiping her eyes from what was left of her tears. “Hey, um... you don’t think Rainbow Dash would stick around tomorrow?”
“So that she could distract you with her tales of awesomeness?” Matthias asked with a smirk. “I’m afraid that it’s impossible, sorry. She and the rest of the weather patrol are scheduled to make a storm tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, I see... wait, didn’t you say that you’re sending the initiates to Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Yes.” Matthias asked, not batting an eyelid. “Your point?”
It took the filly good few heartbeats to understand, but when she did, she burst with laughter, followed by Matthias.