As the sun set over the village, the citizens of Lulamoontopolis slowly filed out of the tunnels, their energy expended, their bodies aching, and their spirits low. The only thing they had going for them was the fact that the job was done. Empress Trixie’s plans had been followed perfectly, and hopefully, that would be enough for an iota of mercy.
Once they had all gathered in the Town Square again, another poof sounded and Trixie appeared at the podium. “Well done, my loyal subjects!” She sang with a genuine smile on her face.
“Yes, oh Great and Powerful Empress,” the crowd droned. Trixie’s display earlier had succeeded perfectly, leaving everypony completely drained of the will to fight.
“Ah, you’re learning,” she tossed her mane. “In that case, I have a surprise for you: consider it a reward for your loyal service today.”
Suddenly, a titanic glass box materialized into existence right next to the glass bowl, slamming into the Earth with a deep rumble. The box’s interior flooded with more of the red mist as a massive set of double-doors appeared on its side, swinging open. The crowd shied away from the entrance, gazing at one another uneasily. “Your Great and Powerful Empress would like to introduce the Trix-Box, or ‘Trox’ for short,” Trixie said, giggling at her own little joke. She leveled a piercing glare on the crowd, which promptly offered up a few, uneasy laughs.
Satisfied, she continued: “The Trox will serve as your main means of transport when our Diamond Dog allies arrive tomorrow, allowing you to travel to their den in the same ease and comfort offered to your loved ones in the Trix-Dome (henceforth known as the ‘Trome’.)”
“Now hold on a second,” a balding, bright-orange Earth pony stepped out in front of the crowd. “You said you’d let our ponies go if we did whatcha told us!” A few other ponies nodded in agreement before Trixie promptly sealed their muzzles shut.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie said she would consider it,” Trixie replied icily, gazing down at the crowd like a bunch of ants waiting to be crushed. “And she has: the answer is no. Your loved ones will remain where they are to ensure your further cooperation. Now, get in the Trox.”
“That’s not fair!”
“We won’t stand for this! And we’re NOT getting in there!”
“Resistance? Still?” Trixie said, sealing the muzzles of every pony who spoke up. “How dare you!? After all Trixie has done for you! Well then, she sees she has no choice.”
Stomping her hooves, the crowd watched uneasily as a sudden burst of color appeared in the sky: a rainbow that descended to street level, swooped over their heads, and landed somewhere at the edge of the square. “Ruh-Rainbow Dash?” Somepony at the head of the crowd asked as the cyan pegasus turned on them, a red glint in her eye on top of the collar around her neck.
“All hail the Great and Powerful Trixie,” she muttered before taking off in a sonic rainboom that deafened everypony’s ears.
Next, a massive explosion of streamers and confetti sounded from the rooftops, blinding some ponies at the rear. “All hail the Great and Powerful Trixie,” the Element of Laughter chimed as she gleefully blasted away at the crowd below, hemming them in from behind.
This was followed by a massive, magical poof off to the pink mare’s right as the Element of Magic advanced from one of the side streets, cracks and pops sounding off her horn, adding to the panic growing in the crowd. “All hail the Great and Powerful Trixie,” she repeated.
Finally, the Element of Honesty joined in the fun, picking a bushel of apples from a cart left in the street and bucking them in the crowd’s direction. “All hail the Great and Powerful Trixie,” she mumbled as the apples went off like little sauce-filled bombs in the crowd. With the ponies scared and running around in confusion, Trixie hemmed them in with a series of magical shields, forcing them closer to the doors of the Trox being held open by the Elements of Generosity and Kindness.
“Fluttershy, please!” Somepony at the front said as the massive crowd behind them forced them forward, closer and closer to the doors. He dug his hooves into the ground, staving off the inevitable plunge into the mist for just a few minutes more. “Y-you don’t have to do this!”
“Of course I do, silly pony,” she replied, smiling with her usual, gentle demeanor as the mist swallowed the pony up and dragged him in. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has ordered it so.”
Near the edge, a few mares managed to break from the grip of the shields, making a break for freedom. Mare number one, the DJ known as Vinyl Scratch, made it nearly halfway across the square before Rainbow Dash descended on her, scooping her up with a strength Vinyl never imagined a pony having. Mare number two, Vinyl’s longtime marefriend and well-known cellist, Octavia, screamed her lover’s name, tears gathering in her eyes before she was blindsided by a spell from Twilight and dragged back to the front of the crowd. Mare number three was none other than Cheerilee herself, who managed to make it all the way across the square and into an empty storefront.
The school teacher panted, a sob escaping her throat as she threw herself inside and locked the door behind her. She knew it was pointless: Trixie could easily blast the thing off its hinges, but it still gave her some measure of security. As she stood there, listening to the cries of terror of everypony she knew outside, Cheerilee fell to the ground in tears, her head in her hooves. How could any of this be happening? It couldn’t possibly be real! This madness, this insanity, was never meant to exist in Ponyville! Why couldn’t she just wake up in her bed at home and find this was all a dream!? Why…
Do not fear, little one; all will be explained, a certain, royal voice sang in her ear. Cheerilee looked up just as the back door opened and slammed shut.
“Wha…” she started, trying to squint into the darkness beyond the tiny bubble of light her collar provided. Something was moving around back there. “Princess Luna?”
“Not quite,” the figure in the shadows replied, his voice still wonderfully familiar.
“Sethisto!” She gasped, running to the unicorn’s hooves in relief. “Thank Celestia! I thought Trixie had…taken…you…”
She trailed off as she looked up into the yellow stallion’s eyes, glowing the same red as each of the Elements’ outside. “No…” she gasped, trying to struggle out of his grip.
“All hail the Great and Powerful Trixie,” he droned before touching his horn to her forehead, forcing her to join the other citizens of Ponyville in the cold, dark embrace of sleep.
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The sun rose over Ponyville, warming Trixie’s face. She smiled calmly as she stood ready at the pedestal in the now hauntingly-vacant town square. Perhaps she should lower the shield a bit, just get a quick second of pure sun…
No, something whispered inside her. Your enemies are many, you cannot take such a risk before the Dogs get here.
Trixie grimaced at the sound of the voice as she ran her hoof along the edge of the pedestal. The voice of the Amulet had grown stronger these past few days, more insistent. It was a terrible feeling, knowing something was slithering its way into her mind, trying to reach her innermost thoughts, but it was necessary, and it did have a point. She had come too far to risk messing things up now.
“Muh Great an’ Powerful Empress,” somepony said off to her side, disrupting her thoughts.
“Ah, Applejack,” Trixie said with a genuine smile on her face as she turned to the red, shimmering glow in the eyes of the Element of Honesty. “What news do you bring?”
“Miss Sparkle would lahke t’report that the final preparations are ready down below, an’ Miss Dash says she’s spotted the Diamond Dogs’ convoy just a few klicks away. They shouldn’t be long now, yer highness,” AJ replied, her voice completely robotic.
“Good, good, and I take it the Elements of Kindness and Generosity are already in position?”
“Just as ya ordered, yer greatness.”
“Perfect,” Trixie said, her tone growing more serious. “You and the others know what to do.”
“Yes, yer almaghty powerfulness,” the earth pony replied before bowing and galloping away.
Trixie took a few deep breaths and gazed out over the Ponyville Town Square. “Welp, this is it, it’s now or never,” she sighed before sending a few bolts of red lightning into the air, blasting the shield over Ponyville out of existence. Time to get this party started.
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Wardog Shizukh of the Northern Den drummed his fingers impatiently on the strange, smooth seats of his benefactors’ latest gift. He stared out the window as the Everfree Forest streamed by, his army marching alongside the sleek form of the horseless chariot.
“It’s real cool, isn’t it, lord?” His secretary asked for the fifth time that day. “This ‘limo-sing’ is just something else, right?”
The Wardog just grimaced at the smaller mutt as he gazed out the window. The little yapper was really starting to get on his nerves.
“I mean, think of all we could do with friends like them, eh?” The little mutt gazed up at him with massive, puppy-dog eyes. “If they can make things like this, just imagine what they…”
Suddenly, Shizukh grabbed the little dog by the neck, lifting him up into the plush leather seat with ease. “I’m well aware of what this could mean for us, you li’l git! What, you don’t think I’ve thought about it? Wondered what else they got? Maybe even gotten more you don’t know about!?”
“Gack...no sir…” the smaller dog squeaked, clawing at the iron grip around his throat. “I just…wanted…to praise you…for your [ACK] great choice…in allies!”
The Wardog kept his grip for a few moments longer before releasing the smaller dog, returning to gazing out the window. “Get me another grog from the cooler-box, twerp.”
“Y-yes sir, right away sir,” the smaller dog whimpered, and a few moments later, a bottle of the crude alcohol slid into Shizukh’s claws, still ice-cold from the box. He grinned as he lifted the bottle to his lips, the powerful liquid inside warming him. He was used to getting the things he wanted, having been the leader of his den for the past decade or so. His underlings knew what the pack leader wanted, he got: be it a bag of diamonds fresh from the mines or a bowl of grog warmed by the breath of an elder dragon (which had resulted in quite a few trips to the burn ward for his minions). Thing was, in recent years it stopped being enough. Oh sure, it was still amusing to sit at the head of the table and laugh at the local idiots as they were made to do a jig for some bits, but it just wasn’t quite doing it for him. He knew there were others out there with far more power than he could ever hope to have, and that idea started to burn. He started seeing these others everywhere: Celestia in his morning grog, Luna in the reflection off a crystal in the mines, Discord snaking his way through the darkness of the tunnels, even Chrysalis started popping up in the lumps in his evening oatmeal!
Power… that was the key: so amazing, so tantalizing, yet so far from his claws. The little taste he had now was all he could ever hope for, and these past few years that fact had started to leave a bad taste in his mouth.
Then he met the smooth-skinned creature in the grey clothes, and everything had changed. Suddenly, there was hope for a new tomorrow, one where he ruled! Hope that the Princesses could be beat, that Discord’s magic could be turned on its head, that even the Changeling hordes could be brought low! As he gazed out over his fellow dogs, marching along the trail with spears in hand and looks of determination in their eyes, he saw that amazing future forming itself right in front of him. All the species of the world: Pony, Griffon, Changeling, Dog, and demi-god bowing at his paws, forever knowing what he stood…
“Sir?” A voice interrupted his thoughts. On instinct, Shizukh’s paw lashed out and wrapped itself around the throat of its owner.
“What?” He grumbled, glaring into his secretary’s eyes as the little dog choked.
“We’ve arrived…sir…the blue pony’s…town…as you requested.”
“Oh,” he replied, dropping the smaller dog. “Good. Thanks, y’little git.”
“Yuh-you’re welcome, sir.” The dog coughed, sucking in air greedily.
Shizukh watched as the buildings of Ponyville rolled past his window, his army arraying itself in the streets. The barrage of pastel colors assaulted his eyesight immediately. He grimaced and averted his gaze: this candy-colored bullcrap would be the first to go once Equestria had fallen. He hated dwelling on the surface to meet with some pony, but he figured he could always use a few extra weapons in the ol’ arsenal. The blue pony had approached him less than a week ago with a powerful amulet and talk of an alliance, coupled with promises of fresh labor in his tunnels to sweeten the deal. He accepted, figuring he could always use another pawn in his army, and with his other allies’ weapons, the blue pony most certainly wouldn’t be too much trouble to dispose of once her usefulness had reached its end.
“Sir, are you sure about this?” The secretary at his feet asked. “I mean, I know the army’s only here to make sure this blue pony don’t try to double-cross us, but did we need to bring…”
The Wardog growled. “You questionin’ my orders?”
“No sir, of course not, sir!” The smaller dog gasped with a nervous laugh. “How could I ever doubt the choices of one so intelligent, so wonderfully gifted, so…”
“Shut up,” the Wardog grumbled before crawling out of his ‘Limbo-zine’ and taking a quick look around at the town square, his army gathering in formation around him. The village of Ponyville was surprisingly quiet. It was eerie: all these bright-colored buildings and markets lying empty, and the big, creepy crystals in the center of the town square didn’t help the feeling either.
The blue pony stepped down from a pedestal in front of the town hall and bowed in a rare act of humility. “Lord Shizukh,” she said, spreading her hoof around the town. “I wish to welcome you to Lulamoontopolis. As you can see, everything is as we discussed.”
“We’ll see about dat,” he grumbled, kicking some dirt at her hooves before turning to one of his guards. The dog placed his spear on the ground and pulled out a strange device, like a radio with a tuning fork wired to it. The device beeped and whirred for a few minutes before a green light blinked on its side, Trixie looking on with a worried look on her brow.
“S’all clear, sir,” the guard-dog said, adjusting his bronze helmet. “The Elements a’ Harmony ain’t nowhere t’be found.”
Shizukh growled menacingly, making Trixie back up a few steps. Even to a pony with the power of a goddess in her hooves, the Wardog’s massive frame and baby-sized fists were more than enough to scare the daylights out of her. “Th-that’s good, right?” She said, trying to hide the unease in her voice as the massive dog advanced. “Ju-just like we agreed on.”
“Maybe it is, an’ maybe it ain’t. I heard those ponies what were supposed t’wield ‘em were in dis village. How come they ain’t here?”
“Oh, you’re mistaken, Lord!” The unicorn said defensively. “The jewels that give the Elements their powers have been…disposed of. The ponies themselves are under my power, safely incapacitated from interfering in any way.”
He glowered at her. “Where?”
“Just over there, with the rest of the populace,” she replied, pointing towards the large glass structures in Ponyville’s square. The Wardog turned to them and squinted, making out the silhouettes of hundreds of ponies drifting about in the weird, red fog inside. However, two silhouettes stood out amongst them: one a unicorn with an impeccably well-kept mane kneeling just inside the doors of the box-shaped structure, the other a pegasus with a curlier mane lying just inside the doors of the structure that looked like a giant fishbowl. “Those ponies you see closest to the doors are the Elements of Generosity and Kindness. The rest are probably floating around in there somewhere, along with the rest of the town’s ponies, all gift-wrapped and ready to go!”
Shizukh scratched his chin as Trixie gazed on worriedly. Suddenly, he tapped his foot a few times on the ground. A few seconds later a medium-sized Diamond Dog surfaced, covered in garbage and dirt. “Report,” the Wardog said.
“All’s clear, sir,” the digger said, saluting. “The ponies ‘ave just been diggin’ around in the dirt. Had t’dodge a few of their tunnels t’stay outta sight, but that’s all.”
The Wardog scanned the glass structures for a quick moment before turning his cold, piercing gaze back on the little blue unicorn. She didn’t even raise her voice at him for keeping a spy beneath her hooves, and in fact had her eyes on the ground the entire time she faced him. He gave her a nice, big, fang-filled grin. “Nice job. Maybe you ain’t as useless as y’look.”
“Thank you, sir,” the unicorn said with immense relief as she motioned to the Town Hall. “And think nothing of the spy, sir. I would almost certainly do the same if I was in your position. Now, if you would be so kind, I’ve fixed up a room in my palace for us to discuss the next step in our plans.”
“One sec,” the Wardog said before turning to the army arrayed behind him. “Alright, ya gits! I wantcha all on yer best behavior while I’m havin’ a jaw with the pony! That means no lootin’, no fightin’, and especially no breakin’ into places t’see what shinies you can steal!”
A disappointed moan rumbled through the army as he turned back to the hall and marched through the doors, followed by his secretary and two of his burliest guards. “You can get them to follow your commands just like that?” Trixie asked as he strode past.
“Trust me: they’d be stupid not t’listen,” he replied with a fang-filled grin that sent shivers up her spine.
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“Fixed-up” wasn’t the term Lord Shizukh would have used for what Trixie had done to the lobby of Ponyville’s Town Hall. “Made splendorous,” “tidied-up and remodeled,” and “completely overhauled” might have been better terms for how the lobby looked now, but since Shizukh had spent most of his life digging for shinies, his vocabulary wasn’t anywhere near enough to come up with those words. He had to settle for standing at the lobby’s entrance, trying very hard not to look impressed.
The interior had been totally renovated: peeling wallpaper and faded linoleum replaced with fresh white paint and luxurious throw rugs. Marble columns lined the walls, each holding a pair of flags bearing the insignia of Trixie’s empire: the visage of the mare in her hat and cloak, with an all-seeing white eye at its center. The plain, magical fluorescent lighting had been torn out entirely, replaced with perfectly-controlled mood lighting provided by large clamshells interspaced along the walls, between the columns. The entire room was dominated by a humongous oak table, polished to a beautiful shine, with dozens of antique oak chairs set around it and a table cloth bearing a gigantic version of Trixie’s insignia.
“I hope you don’t mind. I took some of the free time I had back here to redecorate this place into a proper conference room,” Trixie said as she took her place in one of the chairs. “I do hope it suits your tastes.”
“Yeah, uh, s’alright,” the Wardog stammered as he sat across from her, his guards and secretary taking seats next to him.
“Oh, but I’m sure you’re famished from your journey,” she suddenly turned and screeched: “SETHISTO!”
Immediately, a yellow unicorn in a French maid’s outfit appeared at her side, his eyes wide and glowing red. “Yes, oh Great and Powerful one?” He droned.
“Our guests require refreshments. Now.”
“Of course, your highness,” he bowed before disappearing into the back area.
“Now, don’t mind Sethisto,” she said to her guests as the unicorn returned, pushing a cart filled with covered plates. “The hypnosis spell has left him a bit more…empty-headed than the other ponies I’ve tried it on, but that’s to be expected. I’ve already grown quite attached to him in the short time he’s been in my service.”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” the Wardog replied as a silver plate was set before him and uncovered. It took every scrap of his impressive willpower to keep from just drooling all over the plate and swallowing its contents in one gulp. Apple fritters, apple pies, apple dumplings, anything sweet that could possibly be made from apples, all baked up and crammed onto one little plate.
“Enjoy, sir,” the yellow unicorn droned as the Wardog carefully lifted the dainty fork set at the plate’s side and slowly lifted every scrumptious morsel to his mouth. Every instinct screamed for him to just bury his muzzle and engorge himself, but he was calm, collected. He knew appearing like a big stupid animal could be a huge mistake here. The blue one might take that as a sign that he was dumb or something; maybe try to push for more on her end of the negotiations.
It was a shame his subordinates didn’t share the same restraint: the moment they saw the food on their leader’s plate, they lunged, knocking the yellow one out of the way and attacking the cart like a pack of starving dogs. Yeah sure, they WERE dogs, and they WERE starving (he’d been withholding their daily rations as punishment for missing last week’s gem quota) but this still looked bad for him. Shizukh grimaced, making a mental note to add another week to their punishment as he cleaned his plate, making sure not to lick it clean like he really, really, REALLY wanted to.
“I’m glad to see my food is such a hit,” the blue one said as she levitated the yellow one clear of the ravenous dogs.
“Thank you, miss,” he said as she set him gently back on his hooves. “Will that be all?”
“Yes, Seth,” she said with a strange gleam in her eye. “Just head back and take stock of the pantry, will you?”
“Of course, Empress,” he replied before disappearing into the back room once more.
“Alright, enough jawin’,” Shizukh barked, slamming a fist the size of his own secretary against the table. “Time t’git down t’business.”
“Of course, Pack-Leader,” Trixie nodded. “Now as you know, I am prepared to offer the entire populace of Ponyville to serve in your mines, which should free more of your dogs up for army work, as I’m sure you’ve also figured out.”
“Uh…yeah, a’course.”
“In addition, I am ready to offer my services in battle, which as you can see by what I’ve done here,” she tapped her hoof on the massive insignia on the table. “Are quite impressive.”
“Yeah, I’ll admit you prolly wouldn’t be bad in a fight, pony,” he scratched his chin. “So, what’s in it fer you?”
“An excellent question, commander! Right to the gist of it, right to the meat, guessing my next move and…uh….” She drifted off as he glared at her impatiently, cracking a few of the bones in his knuckles. The stalling tactic wasn’t working. Best to just get to the point: “Canterlot. I want Canterlot.”
“Really?” Shizukh arched his eyebrow, hardly able to disguise his glee. Behind him, his subordinates exchanged knowing looks and wicked grins. “Is that all?”
“Canterlot is the pinnacle of Equestrian society. Placing my throne where Celestia’s used to be will be an affirmation of everything I’ve ever wanted. You can have everything else, I just want Canterlot.”
“Hmm,” the Wardog made a huge show of scratching his chin in not-so-deep thought. “Alright pony, you got yerself a deal.”
“R-really?” Trixie’s eyes beamed, her hooves racing to her cheeks in joy. “Oh, thank you ever so much!”
“No problem, pony,” he replied, disguising a knowing smirk by reaching for his glass of water. Oh, if this pony only knew of his plans for Canterlot! She could have it, alright, and she could rule over the worms and the scattered survivors of what was to come in her very own empire of ash.
“I gotta say pony, yer alright,” he said, reaching across the table with his hand extended. “I think this might be the start of somethin’; not just for you, but for…me…” something rumbled somewhere far off. The Wardog’s ears perked, made sensitive by years of looking for every crack or crumble in a tunnel wall, every sign of an impending cave-in. He looked down to his water glass, sitting on the table. The water rippled back and forth.
“EVERYDOG DOWN!” He screamed, diving under the table. His subordinates, conditioned by years of following his orders, followed suit, landing right at his side.
“Wha…” Trixie said dumbly before a massive explosion clapped somewhere high over their heads, a green light emanating from the windows.
“Get down!” One of Shizukh’s guards barked. “Get down you stupid…”
The front windows shattered in a massive boom, raining shards on their heads. Shizukh automatically covered his eyes as a deep roar boomed outside and a white light threatened to blind him. When he opened them again, the blue one was gone.
“WHAT’S GOING ON!?” Shizukh’s secretary screeched as he pulled himself out from under the table. The once-great conference hall was a burning wreck: chairs lay in shattered splinters all over the place, the once proud insignia draped over the table now covered in dust. The ambient lighting flickered weakly as most of the columns around the lights cracked and crumbled. Half the roof had been blasted away by the force of the explosion, revealing a series of six twinkling lights in the sky, surrounded by hurricane-force winds.
“THE ELEMENTS!” Shizukh barked as his guards pulled themselves out from under the table. The Wardog aimed a glare at where the pony had been sitting. “What’s the meanin’ a’ this, you stupid blue…”
His eyes fell upon a crumpled form, pinned beneath the rubble of one of the columns. A bit of red oozed over her cloak, her hat pulled back to reveal a pair of eyes rapidly glazing over. “Dang,” he grumbled as one of his guards ran over to try and pull the amulet off the blue one’s neck.
“Well?”
“It’s stuck or somethin’!” The dog gasped.
“Then just leave it, we’re gettin’ outta here!” Shizukh screamed, and immediately the four dogs ran for the door, leaving their former ally behind in a sticky red pool.
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Outside, it was pure chaos as Shizukh’s army struggled to remain orderly despite the panic quickly travelling through their ranks. Some dogs stood at attention, spears aimed skyward, while others had already dropped their weapons to stare upwards, dumbfounded. “It’s the Elements! We’re done for!” One dog screamed off to his right, and Shizukh growled in that direction.
“Get in formation, you gits! Act like the soldiers you’re trained t’be!” He bellowed, only to be drowned out by a strange, low whirring noise. He turned his eyes back to the six lights in the sky as they descended. His beady little pupils shrank as six ponies came into view, each surrounded by a white orb of light. “I…I said get in formation! D-don’t let this…”
Suddenly, a beam of green light shot from the middle of the formation, shining onto one of his platoons in the street below. The ground beneath the dogs’ feet gave out beneath them, sinking them waist deep into some strange slurry. One of the dogs in the midst of the slurry gave it a sniff, and then a taste. “Oatmeal?” He asked aloud.
“Hey! I’m stuck!” One of his comrades screamed. “This stuff’s like glue!”
“Hey, yeah! I can’t get out either!”
The dogs’ cries for help were quickly drowned out by others as the beam of light raced through the streets, turning the ground beneath the dogs’ paws into an extra-thick mixture of raisin-filled oatmeal (with a touch of cinnamon for taste). Shizukh watched in horror as his army was brought low by high-fiber health food. “H-how?” He whimpered. “The Elements ain’t even in town, we…you!”
“Huh?” One of his soldiers asked before Shizukh’s claws were at his throat.
“What didja screw up, huh? The thingy was supposed t’tell us if the Elements was here!”
“I-I didn’t…screw up…sir…the thingy said…” the soldier choked. “The thingy said…”
He was interrupted by the screech of rubber against dirt, and the familiar rev of Shizukh’s favorite toy. “’Bout time,” he grumbled, tossing the soldier aside as his “Lime-o-sign” roared up beside them. The moment the sleek, black shell screeched to a stop, his secretary reached up and popped the door open for Shizukh, which he immediately slammed shut after leaping inside.
“Hey, what!?” His soldiers shrieked, pounding on the window.
“Sir?” His secretary asked, peering at his Warleader in confusion. “What about us?”
“Not my problem,” Shizukh replied as the horseless chariot sped away, heading for a side-street that remained miraculously intact despite the Elements’ wanton, fiber-filled destruction.
“Go, go, go!” He gasped at the driver through the divider between them. He gazed out the window in a panic as the Elements turned their attention towards him, their eyes glowing with raw power. A beam of light rocketed out, turning a patch of ground just behind the vehicle into oatmeal. Still they sped on, swerving wildly to avoid the Elements’ shots, taking out fruit stands, overturned crates, and whatever else got in their way.
Shizukh only breathed a sigh of relief once the vehicle was clear of the city and back in the cover of the Everfree forest. The Elements seemed to be hovering in place, either unable or unwilling to follow him. It didn’t matter. He was safe. He leaned back in his seat and breathed deeply. Okay, he had to reassess the situation. Sure, his army was incapacitated and his ally was probably dead, but he still had the smoothskins. And he still had their greatest gift: the one toy even better than the lime-sine. He grinned. He could still do this. He still had his strength, there had to be a clan leader somewhere he could bend over his knee and dominate, and with an army again, he’d be right back on schedule.
“Take me t’ the big-boom-thingy,” Shizukh barked to the driver as he reached into the cool-box for another bottle of grog. “I wanna check on it before we get goin’.”
“Yes, suh,” the driver replied through the divider. “And where was that again, sir?”
“Where is…the caves south of Canterlot, ya stupid git! A few klicks out from the den, where it’s always been!”
“Really?” The divider slid open as the vehicle screeched to a halt.
“What the - why’re we stoppin’, y’big…stupid…” Shizukh drifted off as a smiling, pink face poked out from the front end of the vehicle. A pony’s face.
“Hi there!” The pink pony said gleefully as the divider slid all the way down. “My name’s Pinkie Pie and this is my friend!”
A lavender unicorn poked her head out next to the pink face. “Twilight Sparkle, otherwise known as the Element of Magic, perhaps you’ve heard of me?” She said with a smart little smile on her face.
“E-Element,” Shizukh stammered, his claw just a few inches away from the cork on his bottle. He turned to the six lights glowing in the skies behind him, then back to the two ponies in his limeo-shine. “Buh-but…huh?”
“Oh, he’s all confused, Twilight,” Pinkie said, concern in her eyes.
“Well, perhaps he needs a nap then,” the unicorn replied mischievously. “He’s had a rough day, and maybe things will start looking better after he’s woken up.”
“A nap? Wha…” he managed to stammer before a brilliant, purple bolt knocked him back against the seat. Shizukh grinned dumbly, snickered a bit, and promptly slumped to the floor, little stars in his eyes.
“Night-night!” Pinkie said gleefully as the Wardog’s eyes slid shut.