Just stop, Lulu!
I'm not sure what to think of this. On one hoof, I'm alone, with Lulu. On the other hoof, I'm alone, with Lulu. This should be pretty...Interesting, to say the least.
A very apprehensive Chrysalis was in Luna's room, wondering why the lunar princess wanted to talk with her in private. She was supposed to be getting her sleep in preparation for a meeting called by Fley Truths about the changeling and pony public relations problem that had stirred up in Ponyville, at least, before Luna summoned her to her room. Why, the messenger didn't know, so it was probably something very serious indeed. Though, she couldn't fathom what, since Luna was currently smiling like she won the lottery (which was probably a very poor comparison, really; they got all the bits they ever needed in the treasury, so there wasn't really a point in getting anymore bits). Nothing was said for awhile, which made Chrysalis uncomfortable; by now, Luna should have said something, but instead, she continued to grin at her, as if expecting her to ask a question.
Deep breath, Chrys. Now, ignore how creepy Lulu looks like right now and ask why you're here. "Why are you so happy, Lulu, and why did you call me over?"
Luna gleefully clapped her hooves together. "I've finally figured out how to ship you two together!"
Her words only had the effect of confusing Chrysalis even more than when she had first entered her room.. Huh. Ship? Together? What? Is she using 'ship' in a different context? "What are you talking about, Lulu? What's this 'ship'?"
Luna gasped, holding a hoof up to her chest. "Isn't it obvious?! Why, you and Tia, of course, shipping off together in a sinking ship being shipped off to immortalize your shipping legacy as the greatest ship to have ever existed in the history of shipping! Ship, ship, ship! We need more shipping!"
You aren't making any sense whatsoever and quite frankly you are also beginning to scare me with your insistence on using the word 'ship' and its other forms of said word extensively. "I still don't know what you mean by 'ship' and applying that word to me and Tia. What the heck do you mean by ship, Lulu?"
"You really don't know what I'm talking about?! Well, at least I can give an example about what will happen eventually when you two get shipped together! It'll be the greatest thing ever!" Luna's horn lit up, and brought up what looked like two miniature ponies. Upon closer inspection, Chrysalis saw it was Celestia and herself, and quite well done, as well. Unfortunately, her admiration for the miniatures was ruined as Luna then brought them together, making kissing noises before giggling.
"Ship! Together! You two! Forever and ever in love! Shipping off into the great unknown!"
At the mentioning of the word 'love', Chrysalis recoiled as if struck, and stuck her tongue out at Luna. "Whaaaaaaat?! Why?! I don't even like Tia like that!"
Snorting, Luna brought up a little scene that she saw before, which, to her, was evidence that these two were destined to be shipped together. "Oh, but you do! I've seen you back away and watch her sway her rump every time she walks seductively to a piece of cake!"
You watched that scene out of context, Lulu. "That's because I don't want to get hit by her rump and get sent flying across the room! You know she could break this castle down by smashing herself against it."
Luna rolled her eyes, easily dismissing that as nothing more than denial of an obvious crush. "What about the time where you two shared a cuddle in front of the hearth without me?!"
You've got to be kidding me. "It was cold and she suggested the idea first, not me!"
"Likely story! How about the time where you two were sharing food with each other?"
"Uh...What does sharing food have to do with love?"
"Oh, oh, you can't hide from this one! That plushie that Tia gave you, it was of herself! She gave you a plushie of herself!"
...Hmm. Chrysalis had no reply to that, which only seemed to encourage Luna. She began detailing how this 'shipping' would work, what the public opinion would be like, as well as pulling up graphs, charts, and so much more out of nowhere, reinforcing the fact that she was very, very serious about 'shipping' them together. It's amazing how much effort Lulu has put into all this. Luna continued to drone on and on about the importance of them being shipped, and Chrysalis made an attempt to tune her out. It worked, mostly; the subject was interesting at times, so Chrysalis couldn't tune it out entirely, to her misfortune. A lazy look at the clock nearby scared Chrysalis; the meeting was about to happen in five minutes! She had actually listened to Luna rant on about shipping for the past seven hours!
For the love of... Seeing as Luna was probably going to continue on for a few more hours and possibly take weeks to explain if she didn't do something, Chrysalis decided on interrupting her harshly. "As much as I want to hear you talk about 'shipping', I have a meeting I have to go to in five minutes, so I'll just say this; seriously Lulu, I have no romantic interest in your sister!"
She drives a hard bargain, I'll give her that! "What about the time you two 'accidently' bumped into each other and kissed?!"
"T-That was an actual accident!"
Luna noticed that Chrysalis was now red in the face, and she smiled. "You're blushing! That means you like her!"
"I-I'm blushing because you keep e-embarrassing me with past memories that don't need to be brought up again! Just stop, Lulu! I-I don't need you trying to pair me up with your sister!"
"It's soooooo cute though! You two would make a great couple, the greatest ship ever!"
"Ugh!" Chrysalis groaned as she covered her eyes with her hooves, wanting her blush to disappear. "Do I have to repeat myself?! I don't have a crush on Tia!"
The little miniatures of Chrysalis and Celestia continued to bump into one another, as Luna winked at the real Chrysalis. "You don't have to lie to me, Chrys! I know you're just trying to hide it from me! Why, just let my plan go smoothly sometime over the next few days, and I tell you, you'll be kissing Tia in no time!"
"I told you I-"
"Ah, ah, no need to thank me! Now run along, Chrys, Lulu has some work to do to set up the perfect date, and you must go to your meeting! The shipping must commence, and nothing will stop me!" Luna grabbed Chrysalis, and before the other alicorn knew what was happening, was promptly forced out of Luna's room. A flustered Chrysalis stared at the lunar alicorn, who winked at her before closing the door. Afterwards, Chrysalis looked over towards the two guards outside her door, and frowned.
"Say nothing about this."
The two guards both threw her a salute, though the guard on the right was grinning widely. "Matchmaker Luna, eh?"
"I sincerely hope that she fails in her 'mission' to 'ship' me with Tia." Chrysalis walked off, wondering what Luna was planning on doing.