Why so Shy?
You spent the majority of the afternoon helping feeding, cleaning, and caring for animals. The afternoon went by quickly working with Fluttershy. It seems that her kind calm demeanor rubbed off on you making you feel like you could work at the Everfree Animal Sanctuary as long as she was by your side. As you spent the afternoon, you could help but see the odd resemblances between her and Fluttershy from the show. She certainly was just as she as the yellow Pegasus, especially how she was in season 1. She also has the soft voice an exact match. There were times when she was speaking and you closed your eyes realizing how exactly her voice sounded the same. Her hair was the same shade of pink as Fluttershy’s mane and surprisingly the exact same styling. Her eyes were also that bright blue shade, just not as big of course. Fluttershy even dressed in something yellow each day, typically a shirt. The fact that she was so shy and yet dressed in such bright cheery colors with pink hair made you believe that she didn’t want to actually be shy.
You knew of course that as much as she was like the Pegasus from the show Fluttershy had her human side that you were equally drawn to. The way she looked was cute, like the girl next door. Although you didn’t want to admit it she was actually an attractive girl. The parts of her that were like Fluttershy only accentuated her, raising the level of cuteness to an uncanny level. You didn’t want to see her as attractive not because you thought it was a lie, but because you didn’t want Fluttershy to be upset. You already knew how she felt when she left the bathroom wearing only a towel. Plus she was just a friend and nothing more… right?
“It looks like we’re done,” Fluttershy said.
You looked at your watch realizing that it was three o’clock.
“Wow that was quick. Guess we’re finished early.”
“Yes thanks to you. When I used to do this alone I usually had to work long into the evening. Sometimes I even had to work at night helping these animals. Guess I bit off more than I could chew.”
“So how was I,” you asked her. Fluttershy immediately gave you a strange look on her face. You then realized that what you said may not have been the best choice of words.
“Oh, sorry. I was asking how I was doing for my first day.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy said as her tensed body relaxed, “you were fine for your first time I guess.”
Immediately she put her hands on her mouth, realizing that what she said also sounded awkward.
“Oh sorry… I didn’t mean that … you know… I meant that you did great working here that is if that’s ok with you?”
You started laughing at her comment and how you both seemed to say the wrong things to each other. Instead of joining in the laughter though you noticed Fluttershy starting to tear up.
“Fluttershy, what’s wrong?”
“You’re not laughing at me, aren't you,” she said between sobs.
“No, of course not,” you said, “I was laughing at what we both said.”
“Oh… ok,” Fluttershy said as she dried her eyes with the sleeve of her yellow shirt. You realized now that there was something about her being made fun of that brought up a bad memory. Secretly you wondered if that was related to her shyness.
“Look Fluttershy, you’re a great person to be around, and I want to be your friend, but only if you’re ok with it.”
“R…really,” she said as if surprised, “You want to be my friend?”
“Of course I do. So do you want me to be your friend?”
“Oh yes,” she said brightening up, “I would really like to have a friend.”
“Then as friends we need to trust each other, ok? That means no asking me if things are ok unless they’re really important and trusting me that the last thing I would do is laugh at you, ok?”
“Ok,” she said in a whisper.
“Really I want you to feel comfortable around me as I am comfortable around you. I mean we’re living in the same house so we need to get along with each other.”
“Ok,” she said as the two of you went back to the house, “So you said something about helping me with my shyness?”
“Yes, but first I have a question for you, and if you don’t want to answer it that’s fine.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Why are you so shy around people? Why do you look like someone is going to yell at you?”
Fluttershy paused as if she was debating whether she wanted to tell you something really secret.
“Because they did yell at me,” she said with a sad sigh.
“Who did,” you asked.
“I guess you can say that I was shy all my life. It didn’t help that I lived in a place where there weren’t any others my age to play with. When I went to school I thought that everyone would be nice and I would be friends with everyone. I was wrong. Some of the kids started picking on me, calling me such awful things like Stupid Shy and Always Cry. They made fun of me liking animals and my pink hair and everything about me. And it wasn’t just random times.it was every single day.”
You could see that tears were starting to form again in those pretty blue eyes as the painful memories came flooding back.
“Fluttershy, do you want to stop?”
“No,” she said, “You need to hear this. The bullying went on from the third grade until the seventh. It wasn’t just a few classmates though. Sometimes the entire grade would tease me. I used to fake sickness so I didn’t have to go to school or hide out in the bathroom and cry. Sometime I wished I didn’t have to go back to school.”
“What about your parents or teachers?”
“They tried to help comfort me but they didn’t understand what life was like then. The kids were just, horrible!”
“But things got better right?”
“Oh sure the kids stopped making fun of me, but I couldn’t stop thinking of them. Even now years later I still hear them telling me that I’ll just be a scared girl and that I should just go die somewhere. And…. Ohhh!”
Finally the emotions were too much as Fluttershy broke down into uncontrollable crying. Part of you just wanted to take her and hold her, but you didn’t know how she would react.
“Fluttershy,” you said softly, “It’s ok. I know exactly how you feel.”
“Y…you do,” she said looking up at you.
“Yes, I was teased like that in school too for being shy as well. It took me a while for me to ever talk to others much less make friends. But Fluttershy you can’t let the past haunt you like this. I know that I’m asking a lot, but in order for you to be more confident, you have to forget what they said in school.”
“You’re right,” Fluttershy said, “I’m not some little girl in school anymore. I deserve to be happy. But it’s just it’s hard to forget.”
“Well, I can’t help you forget what happened, but I can help you to be more confident. But can you promise me to not dwell on the past like that?”
“I’ll try,” Fluttershy said.
“Well, you are off to a good start getting to talk to others.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re so kind to others. That’s a great thing to have! Plus you already made one friend with me.”
“Thanks,” Fluttershy said, “So that was all you wanted to do with helping my confidence today?”
“Not yet,” you say, “there’s one more thing. It’s a trust exercise.”
“Oh, ok.”
“I want you to put your hand on the table palm up ok?”
“Ok,” Fluttershy said nervously as she did as you requested.
“Now, I’m going to touch your hand, but try tot to pull away or get scared.”
You slowly brought your hand out seeing how Fluttershy reacted. She appeared nervous as you brought it closer to her open hand but to her credit she tried to stay still. You then tapped the palm of her hand with your finger to which she flinched slightly but kept her hand out. Satisfied so far you took your fingers and laced it in with hers before bringing it up from the table. Fluttershy didn’t pull away as she did this and for the first time seemed very calm.
“Well, did I do ok,” she said.
“You did great,” you said, “See, we’re holding hands and you aren’t scared. That’s a great thing.”
You are about to separate from her when you feel her holding you tight. You look at her, wondering why she didn’t want to let go.
“Sorry,” she said, “It’s just I haven’t held someone’s hand in a while like this. Can I just hold on for a while longer?”
“Sure,” you said with a smile as in your heart you wanted her to hold on a little longer too.