Chapter 3
“Kill the Butler”
There was a deathly silence as everypony took in the sight of Bastion on the floor. The Bluebloods along with the maid from earlier all looked at the body, as if expecting the butler to come to life at any moment. My hoofsteps broke the silence as I stepped forward and put my hoof to Bastion’s neck. I slowly said, “He’s dead.”
“I could’ve guessed that myself, boy!” Lord Blueblood growled through gritted teeth.
“What happened exactly?” I asked.
Lady Blueblood finally stopped whimpering and explained, “We were, just talking and then he just... fell over...”
“Fell over?” I repeated, and then lifted the stallions head so I could look at his lips. I saw they were blue, and the color was drained from his face. “Some kind of poison,” I concluded.
“Oh dear Luna,” the Maid said. She looked about ready to faint herself.
I stood up, and turned around to look at Flash, he stood at attention as I ordered, “Keep any onlookers from getting in here.”
The orange pegasus nodded and stepped outside. Twilight gave the stallion an odd look but then went back to the body. “Do you think we can call Forceps?”
“At this time of night it’s best not to even think about calling,” I said, shuddering at the last time I called Forceps this late. Suffice to say, it involved Granny Smith, and some kind of wild fantasy about somepony named Hasslehoof.
“I shall see to it.” We all turned to see Celestia walk into the room. By her side was Tabletop, the older stallion put a hoofkerchef to his muzzle at the sight of the body. Celestia remained eerily cool around it. She spoke to us, “I can get a personal forensics team in here within five minutes, as for the body I will leave it to you to examine it how you can, and then I will personally get a pathologist to examine it.”
“Your highness,” Lord Blueblood spoke up. “With all due respect, isn’t this a job for the Noble Quarter Police?”
“You are looking at one of the greatest detectives in Equestria,” Celestia said, a small smirk coming to her face. “I don’t think you will need much else.”
“But surely,” Lord Blueblood argued. “He is my butler, I should decide wh-”
“Please Pure!” Lady Blueblood cried, looking at him in earnest. “The sooner we put all of this behind us the better!”
Tabletop then walked past me to Lady Blueblood. “Fantasia, I will make sure that Private sees this matter through.”
“Thank you dear brother,” Lady Blueblood smiled. “Now, let us leave before I have to look at the corpse a minute longer.”
Celestia nodded, “I will take you all to another room, then Private can work.”
With that, Twilight and I were left alone in the room with the corpse. I bent over and rolled Bastion onto his back, fiddling in his suit jacket for anything useful. I pulled out a pocket watch, the glass was cracked. “12:30, the crack looks recent so he must’ve broken it in the fall.”
“At least we have a time of death,” Twilight said, looking around the room. “But how could he have been poisoned?”
“Depends on the kind,” I explained, tossing aside a wallet and some gloves I found inside his suit jacket. “He could’ve drank it out of something.”
“There aren’t any cups or glasses in here,” Twilight said, opening the drawer of a dresser.
I then took a swab to Bastion’s mouth. I then ran a scanning spell over the swab. “Nothing we can tell without lab equipment. I can’t detect anything in his saliva.”
“What about his blood?” Twilight asked, holding up one of the butler's hooves.
“You’re a genius Twi!” I beamed, kissing her on the cheek.
She smiled, “You don’t get to be a detective's assistant without picking up a few things.”
I pulled a needle out of my trench coat, a leftover from when Rarity had it, and pricked a little blood from Bastion’s leg. I then took a swab to the blood and put a scanning spell in it again.
“Traces of cyanide, looks like whatever did this acted quickly on his blood. There’s no way he died slowly,” I concluded.
“Anything else we can guess?” Twilight asked.
“Not much until Celestia’s workers are finished with the place unfortunately.” I said, getting up and setting Bastion’s body on it’s side. “We’d better get going, we got suspects to interview.”
Twilight then smiled.
“What?” I asked.
“Just feels, almost like our first case. Us two, running around trying to find the bad guy. I know it’s terrible what happened, but I’m glad to still be a part of finding the killer.”
I smiled and kissed her again, “Come on, we got a butler killer to find.”
With that, we both left the room, letting Bastion rest as we ventured to find his killer.
__________________________________________________________________
Twilight and I were about to enter the second study, this one having guards posted out front. It wasn’t long before we heard Lord Blueblood’s voice come out of the room. He was not happy.
“I am trying to leave and acquire a real detective. I don’t understand why you cannot let me do that. I will not allow pure-bred ponies of noble blood to be persecuted by that peasant hybrid. Everypony here, knows he will accuse a noble, first and foremost,” Lord Blueblood ranted. “A Detective from the Noble Quarter would investigate this case, getting the correct result.”
“I’m sorry Lord Blueblood,” the guard he was talking to said, “But Princess Celestia has us under strict orders not to allow anypony who was in that room to leave.”
“This is an outrage!” Lord Blueblood yelled.
“Darling please,” his wife’s voice tried to stop his rage.
“Silence Fantasia! You will do well to-”
Twilight and I entered the room, and Lord Blueblood immediately shut up. Lord Tabletop’s study was pretty impressive. Dark wood shelves and cabinets lined the walls, a dark green wallpaper or paint colored the visible walls, and the occasional tasteful painting, or elaborately carved mask was on display. Large, overstuffed chairs, in a rich brown color were arranged in conversational groups around heavy hardwood tables. There was even a sideboard, with cut crystal bottles filled with various liquids. Probably alcohol. Wonder if he had any of Grapes’ more esoteric experiments in fermentation?
Lady Blueblood was sitting on one of the chairs, a fan in her magic blowing on herself. The maid was sitting on one of the chairs; she still looked to be in shock. Lord Blueblood was standing in front of Flash Sentry. Poor guy, having to put up with so much nobility idiocy all in one night.
Flash turned to us as we moved in. “I kept them all here as you requested,”
“Thank you Flash,” I said with a nod.
Flash’s eyes fell on Twilight, Twilight in turn smiled and nodded, “I thank you for your assistance, my husband and I will take it from here. Though we may need the guard outside should anything get hectic.”
Flash smiled and nodded, “Hey, anything for the guys who helped save some of my buddies during the Alicorn Summit.”
With that, the pegasus left and went to join his fellow guards outside. Twilight smiled after him. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“It’s a good thing to have a friend in the guard,” I smiled. “At least one that doesn't threaten to swim out to the island just to make sure I treated his sister okay.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, muttered something about stallions and I was immediately faced with a glare from Blueblood Senior.
“I do not know what Princess Celestia is thinking, but I will not have you trounce over a case you should not be involved with.”
Before I could argue Twilight got between us. She glared at Lord Blueblood, “Don’t even think about kicking him out. Otherwise we could just as easily have you take interviews in a prison cell.”
Lord Blueblood’s boldness fell to Twilight’s glare. He finally huffed and simply walked away. Twilight turned to me, “I’m thinking we should interview the maid first. That way he can’t shut her down if something goes wrong during his interview.”
I nodded, seeing her point. I then walked to the maid, she looked at me in fear, “Ye-yes sir?”
I smiled and said gently, “Could you come with us? We need to ask you a few questions.”
Lord Blueblood was about ready to protest, but one look from Twilight dared him to try it. The maid looked torn, but then let out a breath and said, “Very well detective, I will answer what I can.”
____________________________________________________________
She sat in a small dining chair. We were sitting in a dining room that Tabletop provided for the occasion. Flash left us with a pair of guards at the front door. Twilight and I smiled gently as we took our seats in front of her. I asked, “What is your name?”
Her blue eyes gazed at the table cloth. “My name is Squeaky, Squeaky Clean, I’m from Baltimare.”
“How does a mare like you come to work for Blueblood?” Twilight asked.
“I...” She looked down again and said, “I moved here to Canterlot in the hopes of going to university. I was hoping to someday get a job to become a Perfumer. But, I had to get a job to pay the bills and the Bluebloods were hiring after the last maid was fired for accidentally spilling tea on Prince Blueblood’s coat.”
“Somehow I’m not surprised,” Twilight groaned.
“Am I in trouble?” she asked. “I didn’t kill Bastion! He was a dear friend to me! He was very kind and doesn't deserve to b-”
I held up a hoof. “Nopony is accusing anypony of anything,” I assured her. “We just want to know a few things. First of all, you mentioned that you and Bastion were friends?”
She nodded, meeting my gaze, “Yes, he helped me get settled in. He kind of reminded me of my grandfather back home. He taught me all sorts of things and made sure I was going to fit in well.”
“A very nice guy,” Twilight concluded, and then asked, “So, can you tell us about when he died?”
Squeaky got pretty quiet, before finally saying, in a voice that reminded me of Fluttershy, “I, bumped into you two when I arrived, after that I took some directions from a guard and came to the room. When I arrived, Bastion and Lord and Lady Blueblood were heading inside. They were yelling at each other a lot, I came by hoping to at least see what was wrong. Than Bastion was about to unlock the door so I ran inside.”
“This was around twelve thirty?” I asked.
“Yes,” she nodded. “I remember checking my watch when I was running there. Once I was inside, Lord Blueblood ordered Bastion to lock the door. Then he started arguing with Lady Blueblood just quiet enough so that me and Bastion couldn’t hear.” She started shaking up,. “And, then... ju-just when... their arguing... got worse Ba... Bastion ju…just...”
Twilight walked around the table and put a hoof on her shoulder. “It’s alright Squeaky, we’re going to find out who did this, but you have to tell us what happened.”
Squeaky gave a shaky nod and spoke to Twilight, “O-one minute Bastion was fine, a-and then around twelve thirty he started acting sickly, like her couldn’t breathe. Than he... he just fe-fell over on the... floor...” She started crying into her hooves. Twilight rubbed her back gently, consoling the young mare while I wrote everything down on a notepad provided by a guard.
“It’s just, so horrible,” Squeaky cried. “Who would do such a thing?”
I would ask her if she saw him drink anything, but she only arrived when we were leaving. There was no way she’d see Bastion drink or take anything odd during the gala. I’d have to ask a somepony else later.
I went on, “Did Bastion have any enemies? Why would somepony want to kill him?”
“I, I...” Squeaky’s hoof... went to her belly....
“Squeaky, is there something that Bastion knew?” I asked.
“I, I shouldn’t say, I could lose my job,” she said, looking at me. “I don’t want to get into any trouble.”
I then decided enough was enough; I looked at her firmly and said, “If you know something, then now is the right time to tell us. If you don’t, then the killer is just going to get loose and who knows how many other ponies could get hurt. I trust you don’t want that on your conscience.”
Squeaky finally looked at me, then at Twilight, then back at me and said, “About, two months after I started working, Lord and Lady Blueblood started arguing. Mostly about Prince Blueblood. They kept arguing about whether he should even still be welcome after the incident at the last gala and his arrest. About a week later, Lord Blueblood ...approached me...” She looked down in absolute shame.
“What did he ask you to do?” I had my suspicions, but I needed to hear it from her own two lips.
“He...” She kept her head down. “He asked me, to... have his child.”
SAAAY WHAAT?!?!
Twilight and I dropped our jaws. “He asked you to do that?!” Twilight cried in absolute shock.
Squeaky looked down, shame and embarrassment covering her features. She said quietly, “I tried to discourage him, told him that I wasn’t a good mare to mother a child. I tried and nearly begged, but he threatened to fire me and make sure no business would hire me if I talked. I’m nopony, just a mare from Baltimare who wanted to start a life of her own. Now, I’ll be homeless within a week...” She cried fully now.
This, was just plain sick. How could Lord Blueblood ever consider this. I finally asked, “Why would he need you to mother a child?”
“Lady Blueblood,” she sniffed, “Is past the age of child birth, she’s become barren.”
“Funny,” Twilight tilted her head. “She didn’t look much older than my mom, I’m guessing she just hides it well.”
So Lady Blueblood was barren, that’s why Lord Blueblood approached Squeaky? Maybe he hoped the child would look so much like him nopony would know the difference? Either way, I then asked, “Bastion found it out?”
Squeaky nodded, “Yes, he found out about the arrangement when he saw a pregnancy test in my bathroom trashcan. When I told him about it, he said he’d try and get help. I tried to dissuade him; I didn’t want him to lose his job too.”
“Squeaky,” I started, “How old are you?”
She let out a sob and whispered, “Nineteen.”
There are so many ways I could get Lord Blueblood for this situation. With her testimony she could put Blueblood in prison for years. But, I tried to imagine her situation. Suddenly it wasn’t so easy to just discard her like I would any other suspect. I just said gently, “We’ll find out who killed Bastion. You gave us a motive, which will help narrow down the list.”
“Please don’t tell anypony,” she begged. “I need this job.”
Twilight and I looked at each other. Twilight then looked to Squeaky and said, “We’ll handle it, but we promise that until everything is settled, nopony will know about the affair except for us.”
Squeaky’s blue eyes welled with tears and she sobbed, “You are most kind your highness. I’m happy there are kind ponies among the royal family.”
“How typical,” drawled that ever-hated voice. “Not happy with falsely accusing me, now you have to drag my whole family’s name through the mud.” I looked over and saw Prince Blueblood standing there, in the doorway, glaring at me. “Never mind brainwashing Princess Twilight to your anti-noble schemes, and persuading this trusted servant to lie for you. You truly have no bounds to your hatred of the Noble Class, do you?”
“Prince Blueblood,” one guard spoke up. “This has been ordered a restricted ar-”
“To Tartarus with your restrictions!” Blueblood bellowed at the guard. “It’s time everypony knew the gall of this hybrid!” He took off. This, is not good!
I looked to the guards, “Look after Squeaky, we’ll take care of him.”
Twilight and I took off down the hall, following Blueblood’s trail. She looked over at me, and panted, “You don’t think he’s stupid enough to try anything, do you?”
I gave her a look.
“Right, dumb question.”
____________________________________________________________
Twilight and I ran into the ballroom. Blueblood strode out into the middle of the room, its hardwood floor shining under the lights. He puffed out his chest, and started to spout: “Ladies and Gentlecolts, the so-called detective is a fraud! He has duped Princess Celestia, brainwashed Princess Twilight, and has persuaded a trusted and loyal servant of my House to commit a most heinous act of slander!”
All of the nobles stopped what they were doing and looked on the prince. Twilight and I started moving towards them as a crowd formed.
“That worthless hybrid commoner convinced the poor helpless maid to say that my very father was having an affair with her! Of course, he fully intends to have my father arrested for this murder, with that evidence alone, in his continuing crusade against the Noble Class! You saw how he had ME arrested on trumped-up charges, never MIND having Pave Diamond, a much respected member of the Nobility, dragged away by common police like a COMMON criminal!”
Twilight managed to get to the center of the crowd first, the nobles bowed as she stood there. “That’s enough Blueblood; I won’t let you slander my husband any longer!”
“He is a nobody, Princess Twilight, can’t you see that? He is just a common thug, who has conned you into marrying him, so he could continue his crusade to obliterate the Noble Class. His association with the well-known noble-hater, Sour Grapes is proof of that!”
“You seem to forget he’s the very reason you’re not all bowing down to King Lunard right now!” Twilight shouted back.
I finally made my way up to her, “Twi, I can defend myself.”
She looked to me as I passed her by and walked up to Blueblood. “Let’s get one thing straight Blueblood, you had no right to shout to the world Squeaky’s secret, I was about to validate it before you interrupted. Whatever delusions you have of me trying to take down the noble class, it shouldn’t interrupt an investigation into the death of a pony. Now, if you don’t mind, I will kindly ask you to stop harassing my wife and me.”
“I will NOT stop until you are in chains, you foul half-chicken commoner! It’s NO secret I shouted to the good ponies, here, but the lie you planted into Miss Clean’s head! Everypony knows you’ve had Noble and upper class ponies arrested on spurious charges! Everypony knows that you used your one moment of actually doing something useful to con the Princess Twilight into marrying you!”
“If you do not cease this I will ask the guards to detain you!” Twilight cried.
“Please, Your highness, you’re allowing his lies to blind you. You could have had someone more fitting to your station, as a Princess of the Realm, and not somepony of common birth who wishes us, yes US, harm! You are a Noble. You deserve a Noble husband, not some common gutter-trash detective right out of some cheap common-written novel!”
Twilight’s violet eyes narrowed...,as Blueblood had the absolute gall to shove me aside and take my wife’s hoof! I fell to the floor and glared up at him.
“You, Princess Twilight, deserve somepony who won’t make a scene at a party such as this, somepony who you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with in public, because of a shabby overcoat, and equally shabby hat. You deserve a true Noble pony. I would be so bold to suggest myself as a possible...”
SMACK!!!
Twilight’s hoof connected with Blueblood’s face so hard it was audible. She glared at Blueblood, and helped me back to my hooves. She yelled at Blueblood, “I’d rather marry a troll you worthless waste of space!” She yelled again, so much that several ponies backed away, “If I ever hear you so much as utter a word against my love again I’ll see about banishing you to someplace nopony can hear! The MOON!!”
Blueblood got to his hooves and glared at me, a hoof shaped red mark on his face. “You! You brainwashed her to such a level she would consider banishment! This is an outrage! I will have you in chains ye-”
Clap...Clap...Clap...Clap...
“Bravo Blueblood, a most extraordinary performance of absolute insolence....”