The castle is full rooms, large and small, empty and full. There were dining rooms, bedrooms, bathrooms, and almost any other room you can think of. No matter what it was used for or how many copies there were, every room had one thing in common: they were engulfed by darkness every night. My room was no exception. The room was beautiful, but it also was large and empty. If there was one thing I learned from the forest is that the more space there is, the more room there is for the darkness.
I had the advantage of my window facing Canterlot. Under the moon, Canterlot glowed with the street lights as some late night ponies still moved throughout the streets. The city itself acted as my nightlight, but it wasn't very strong. It was bright enough so I could at lease see my hand, but not enough to take away my fear. I wasn't afraid of the dark, I was afraid of not knowing. Darkness acts as the perfect veil for anything.
I started to cower a bit under my blanket. I knew that I had to be brave to even get a wink of sleep. I started consecrate on my fear a started to think of ways to beat it. I didn't notice at first, but my horn started glowing gold. I took my head out from under the covers. My room was lit a bit more from my horn, but I wasn't controlling. It was if my horn was acting as my night light. I wasn't complaining. There was just enough light and I was just tired enough to fall asleep, even though there was a voice in my head telling me to stay awake.
In short term, I do regret not listening to it. That night had to be the second worst I've ever had. I didn't have any dreams that night, I had nightmares.
I was back in the forest, running again. There wasn't a storm or darkness this time, just twisted faces in the trees and clouds. This time it was the trees; they were uprooting themselves and chasing me. Lucky for me, they were slow and I thought that I could get out if I just kept running. The pure number of trees is what really scared me. No matter for how long or what direction, there was nothing but trees.
I found myself calling for my mom again, and just like last time, there was no response. I kept running out of fear and a small shimmer of hope that I would reach the edge of the forest. I tripped over one of the tree's roots and it wrapped around my hoof. I struggled to get free, but the more I moved, the tighter it held me. The trees were closing in around me. Each one had their own twisted and deformed face that came closer and closer.
In real life, I was thrashing about in my bed, crying out that one familiar word. That one word that haunted me and made me cry so many times. The one word that led me to Canterlot. The one word that helped me get out of the forest and the one that I find myself in now. "Mommy!" I jolted up from my nightmare, but I was still crying and screaming that one word. Like a light at the end of a tunnel, Princess Celestia and Cadence were standing in the darkness. Their horns were glowing so they could see through the veil, but Princess Celestia's white night gown was enough. Both of them had concerned looks on their faces.
Princess Celestia told Cadence to go back to her room and try to go back to sleep. Without arguing, Cadence gave me a warm smile and left my room. Princess Celestia waited for her to leave and then sat on my bed side. She gave me a hug and hugged her back. Her hugs were magical. She was able to make you feel warm, happy, secure, and so many other feelings just by putting her arms around you. She made sure that you knew that you knew how bad or depressed you felt, there was always someone here for you.
"How much do you miss you mommy, Golden?" She asked me without breaking off.
"A lot, but I don't even remember what she looks like."
"That doesn't matter, what matters is that you know that she loves you and she is looking for you."
"Princess Celestia, can you please stay here tonight?"
She didn't say anything, just let me go. She started petting my head in her comforting way. She must have figured out that I liked this and her doing that helps me. I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep. Princess Celestia started to sing a lullaby. I don't remember the words, but I never really paid attention to the words at all. She could have been singing about how much she hates me. All I really needed was the sound of her voice. It was soothing and beautiful and I quickly fell asleep. I didn't have another nightmare. In fact, I don't even remember what I dreamed about.
When I woke up the next morning, Princess Celestia was sleeping in my bed. She had her arm over me and was holding me close to her. There was something about it that made me want to stay there. I decided to scoot closer to her and her grip got tighter. I smiled and started to go back to sleep, but then she woke up.
"Good morning, my little pony," Princess Celestia said as she got out of bed. I immediately jumped up and gave her a hug. I took her by surprise, as she pulled her hands away from me at first. When she realized what I was doing, she hugged back.
"Thank you, Princess Celestia," I said to her. I again felt all of her warmth and kindness in that one hug.
"You're welcome, now let's get you ready for today."
Princess Celestia sent a maid to buy clothes for me yesterday. She filled a closet with all types of clothes in my side. From jeans to slacks, T-shirts to button up shirts, hats to bow-ties, it was filled with clothes just for me. Princess Celestia picked out a plain black T-shirt and jeans. She took me to Cadence's room and told me to wait outside as she helped Cadence get dressed. While I was waiting, Captain Iron Side came walking down the hallway.
"Morning, Golden Shield," he said as he stopped to talk to me.
"Good morning, Captain Iron Side. Can I ask you something, sir?"
"You don't have to call me 'sir'. Now, what's on your mind?"
"How do you be brave?"
"Why do you want to know that? You're still just a little colt. You don't have to be brave yet."
"Because I had a nightmare last night and I got really scared. I've been scared for so long and I really don't like it. Please tell me your secret. Teach me how not to be afraid of anything."
"Alright kid, but I'm going to be honest with you, but you can't tell anypony. I'm afraid of a lot of things. So many things make me shake in fear, so do you want to know what I do? I tell myself that I'm not afraid of anything. I keep telling myself that until I believe it. One thing you have to learn is that fear is in your head. So next time you have a nightmare, act like you're not afraid."
"Is that it?"
"Yup, now if you excuse me, son, I have some work to do. See you around"
As Captain Iron Side left, Princess Celestia and Cadence came out of the room. Cadence came out wearing a light blue skirt and a white top. Princess Celestia took us to the gardens and told us to play out here today. She promised to come back and play with us later. She had to change and take care of some business.
It was a beautiful day to play outside. It was partly cloudy and there was a nice breeze. Cadence and I did so many things outside. We played tag, hide and go seek, kicked around a hoof-ball, the guards even let us go into the maze, but we didn't go that far in. We found a tree to rest under when we got tired.
"Where are your parents, Cadence?" I asked her while we laid under the tree
"In Fillydelpha."
"So, why are you here?"
"They wanted me to be here in Canterlot, but they couldn't move here. They asked Auntie Celestia if I could live with her and she said yes."
"Do you ever miss them?"
"Yeah, but they come up to Canterlot to visit. Enough about me.
We talked until Princess Celestia brought us lunch. After, she decided to take us out on the town and just walk around. When we returned, we had to get ready for dinner again. It was the same situation as before. I took a bath, put on some nice clothes, and waited for Princess Celestia to come and get me. The dining room was filled with different ponies, but there was roughly the same number. Cadence and I sat behind the main table. It was just the two of us again, so all we really did was talk about foal stuff. Princess Celestia took us to bed roughly the same time. She tucked us in and wished us a good night.
My room was still dark that night. My horn and the glow of Canterlot still only helped a little. I remembered what Captain Iron Side told me.
"I'm not scared of anything. I' not scared of anything. I'm not scared of anything," I said to myself under my breath. Captain Iron Side was right. I went to sleep that night without any fears and I had no nightmares. This didn't always work. There were times when I repeated those five words over and over, but I still had a nightmare.
All my nightmares were basically the same. I was in the forest, being chased by something, I trip, and then it gets me. Every time I have a nightmare, I would again thrash about and scream for my mom. Every time, Princess Celestia was there to comfort me. She would always spend the night in my room.
This was my life for two years, well it was until the night the nightmares stopped.
It was just like all the other nightmares. This time I was running from darkness. In one moment, I head Captain Iron Side's advice. I turned around and looked straight at the oncoming darkness that towered over me.
"I'm not afraid of you!" I shouted as my horn started to glow brighter than I've ever seen it before. Just as the darkness got me, a blast of magic came out of my horn. It cut straight through the darkness and it soon vanished.
I still thrashed about and called for my mom. As usual, Celestia was there to comfort me. This times was different though. This time I wasn't calling for my faceless mom, I was calling for my care taker, Celestia.