“Would you be a dear and help me get this on?” a disgruntled Rarity asked after a few failed attempts attempting to secure the clasp around her neck.
“Sure.” I replied half heartedly, taking the pendant in my hand while she turned around pulling up her hair to give me a better shot at getting the clasp correct on the first try. The aroma of her hair caused my stomach to drop. I hated my psyche, just the thought of something that may not be is actually causing my physical distress. I could just run. Go back to school and grab all my stuff and move out.
No, that would constitute a manhunt for me by Dash and Vinyl. That would not end well for me at all. And everyone else says they will kill me if I even so much as hurt her. I have been walking on some eggshells before but now I will be tap dancing through a minefield if it ever comes to light that I’m doubting her...
“Thank you.” Rarity said, turning back to me and cooing into my chest, blush rapidly spreading across her face. I could feel my own blush creep up on me as my brain decided to stop working for a second. Everything felt warm and right and-
‘She doesn’t love you, ya know?’
The little voice. You’re back. Haven’t heard my crippling self doubt in almost six months.
‘What do you know? Trixie said that-’
‘Trixie said that the possibility of it being anything else was much higher than her actually returning your affection. Honestly, have you seen the girl? Why would she ever want to be with you.’
‘She said that she was drawn to me for an unknown reason. Did say I made her feel safe.’
‘How long will that last though, step out of line once and you’re done. No more friends, no more sexy girlfriend and then you will be all mine once again.’ The voice laughed, a low sinister one. My skin started to get goosebumps, my hair standing on end. That laugh...
“Crisp?” Rarity said, holding my face in her hands, our eyes meeting, “you seem not yourself right now. Are you sure you are all right?”
The warmth of her hands soothed my core, my skin and hair relaxing from my own mind. I placed my hand over hers, rubbing it against my face. I breathed in deeply and exhaled, further attempting to calm my body down.
“Yeah,” I said, reaching for cigarette number two. I pulled it out and placed it in my mouth, ready to light it up when I met her eyes again. Just the way she could make me feel, even if it was only temporary, I wanted to be around for a while. I took the box and showed her the final cigarette inside.
“See this?”
“Yes, it looks just like the last cigarette.”
“Well actually, no, it isn’t.” I said, placing the box back in my pocket, “this one is.” I lit the cigarette and drew a long puff, “I think you were right last night, about me quitting. So I guess that final cigarette is a kind of promise. I will smoke it one day, but that’s a day far off into the future hopefully.”
“And what day is that?” she asked, sidling up underneath my chin, wrapping her arms around my back.
“Well, I guess the day that we have to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye? Whatever do you mean by that?”
“Exactly what it sounds like, our parting of ways. That’s why I’m hopeful that it is one that is far in the future.” I said, smiling slightly.
“Well, there is something we should talk about, but this is not that time. Come along, the girls want to sing a bit more and I thought I was going to have to go all the way over to Sugar Cube Corner to retrieve you. Pinkie Pie is convinced that we will be able to get you to sing tonight.” She said, laughing, grabbing the hand with a cigarette in it, slipping it from my fingers.
“And in regards to this one, the one in the box will be yours, so this one shall be mine. Same reason, and I too hope it will be a far day in the future.” She slipped the box out of my pocket and placed the cigarette back alongside its companion, to stay there for an undetermined amount of time.
“Now get in there before you do anything else wonderful and marvelously cheesy.” Rarity stated, taking my face into her hands and kissing me on the cheek before returning into the bar.
I glanced back into the window I had been staring into before, the reflection staring back at me. After a couple seconds, the reflection winked at me, causing me to jump back slightly. I turned my head around to see if anyone else had caught the weird facial tick in the window, but the street was deserted. I turned back to the window, to the now smiling relection.
‘It’s you, isn’t it.’
‘Well of course, it’s me. Or you. Or am I the real one?’
‘Considering you’re in a window, I doubt you’re the real Crisp.’
‘Are you sure about that?’
‘Pretty sure, I mean, I can walk and talk and throw a snowball in your face and you can’t do shit about it.’
‘Except destroy you.’
‘What?’
‘You heard me. She’s lying to you. You have never been or ever will be wonderful or cheesy’ The reflection continued its tirade against my mind once again. ‘She seems good, too good. Your sister was right, she’s not with you because of her feelings for you. She will hurt you, and it will destroy you.’ The reflection’s smile grew wide, the eyes flickering between my lavender and a stark orange.
‘So what.’
‘So what? So What?! May I remind you that no one has ever even liked you at all. Do I need to go over every person in your life that has ever slighted you in any way?!’ The reflection screamed, slamming its fist into the window, a small trail of purple falling from the now orange eyes.
‘Women to you are a damn poison, people are a plague, the only thing that will ever be accepting of you is that crushing lonely hell that you yourself inhabit.’
‘You know what, no. Fuck your entire idea about how people hate me. You only decide to spring up now and torment me again when, and only when something that is actually going well in my life is even slightly possibly threatened do you show up.’
‘That’s because I tell you the truth. I have no reason to lie to you.’ The reflection sneered, the eyes wide and crazed.
‘I don’t need to keep doing this to myself, ok? Maybe the risk of it failing and having something awesome now is better, way better, than cutting it off before anything can come of it. Good or bad.’
‘It will always be bad.’
‘These last six months have been amazing for me. I have friends, a family that has accepted me as one of their own, a place to live and most importantly of all, someone that cares and possibly loves me enough to do something about it. Something is there, and it might be a crap shot, but I’m done living with regrets of my past. I’m going in there and making the fucking future mine.’
I made my way to the door, the reflection forced to follow along the path I took. Reaching my hand for the handle, it screamed out to me.
‘You will be back, and from this pain there will be no recovery, no salvation. The Mediator will not be able to save you again, and neither will your so called friends. The darkness, however, shall be waiting.’ The voice screeched, disappearing from view, following up with the sinister laugh that had darkened my mind numerous times.
I was now almost completely mentally exhausted, the reflection always took its toll on my mind. Last time he appeared, was the day I met Uncle Disc. He had been the reason for my drinking, he was the reason for my depression, he was...me. I knew I had always been a bit self destructive. Maybe the reflection was right. It really did know everything about me. It was me... but what did he mean by this pain would destroy me. And who was the Mediator that he mentioned saving me? I shook my head in a futile attempt to chase off my demon before finally opening the door and walking inside.
It was homey to say the least. Not a nightclub or anything like that. Much prefered it this way though. No, it was much more of a dive bar. Pictures of all the townsfolk on the walls, celebrities that had graced the establishment, photos of people that had won singing contests or the “Monthly Madness Trivia Hour”, but that line looked like a shrine to Twilight more than anything.
Off to the right in the back corner was a small stage. A karaoke machine and a mic stand graced the stage, while a couple of speakers were tucked into the platform’s front. Pretty smart there, cuts down on the space issue. Cords aren’t all over the place for drunk people to trip on as well, but the only downside was if something got disconnected, taking them out could always mean a chore if there was not a quick release put in, but who knows, still smart.
The bar off to the left had a large variety of liqueurs and alcohols, ranging from homebrewed ciders and beers to rare imports from across the seas. I even saw a small bottle of a mint green liqueur that I thought was banned in this part of the country, but hey, whatever right? They had it and I’ve always wondered why it was banned.
“Crisp!” Pinkie shouted from across the room. I may have been feeling down from my short talk with Trixie and almost destroyed by my own mind, but that didn’t mean I should bring the rest of the group down. It was not their problem. I thought it better to just enjoy the rest of the night and not ruin everyone’s Hearth Warming. Pinkie darted over to me as soon as I reached the bar.
“Hey Pinkie.”
“Is it true that you can sing?” Always straight to the point with this one.
“Not exactly. I guess if needed to I can carry a tune decent enough, but I would never consider myself a singer.”
“Well, Rarity said that you have a really really good singing voice. And then Dashie told me that you hum whenever you are working on something or cleaning or pretty much doing anything and she said it was really good too.”
“Like I said, can carry a tune, not much more though. If you want someone to sing for you, talk to Vinyl, she is the real singer.”
“If you won’t sing for us, would you at least play the piano tonight?” She pleaded, her eyes wide and starry in hope and anticipation of a positive response.
“Uhhhh...no. I’d have to go all the way back to the apartment to get my roll-up and then I would have to set it up and it would take a while and I’m pretty sure no one wants to hear that right now.”
“Well, you could always use the one here.”
“There isn’t one here.”
“It’s right over there.” She pointed out a small baby grand next to the stage. Yet again, I failed to notice a beautiful instrument. I was really losing my edge.
“Not tonight,” I finally replied, slightly sad. I really did like playing on nice pianos, but I felt that this wasn’t a time to be doing that. I should be having fun with everyone.
“Awww, that’s ok. Oh, and I took the liberty of ordering you a drink. I named it myself.” Pinkie waved over the bartender, who placed two steins of an amber malt next to two double shot glasses with the mint green liquor inside. “Thanks Lemon Twist.” Pinkie said, the bartender nodding as he turned back to serve his other patrons. Pinkie took the shot glasses and balanced them on a pair of chopsticks over the steins.
“What am I supposed to do here?”
“Ever taken any kind of bomb?” I nodded in confirmation. “Well, same concept here.” She said, slamming her palms into the bar next to the steins, causing the shot glasses to fall into the now frothing malts.
“Go!” Pinkie shouted, and instinctively, I reached for my stein and quickly downed the bomb. The cider had a bite on it, a cinnamon with a hint of something nutty. Maybe a hazelnut. The mix of a minty, liquorice flavor took me back, causing me to almost gag and sputter the bomb everywhere. The foamy liquid alone was enough to gag on. I managed to keep going, quickly finishing and slamming my stein down on the bar upside down as Pinkie did.
“Oh man,” I wheezed, the burning in my throat intense staggering, “that was, just about the craziest drink I have ever have. What do you call it?”
“I call it a ‘Party Cannon’. It’s just what everyone needs to get themselves out of the dumps and start living.” She smiled. Pinkie always had this weird kind of worldly feel to her, it was like she knew exactly what to say whenever. I’d put the rest of my bits on the whole crazy personality being a complete facade. The frizzy haired partier pulled me off to the table in the corner where Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy were.
“Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said, a bit more dramatically than she needed to, “Fluttershy and I have been waiting here for you to do our set and you have been at the bar schmoozing with my boyfriend.” Pinkie smiled and grabbed Rarity and Fluttershy up from the table and made her way towards the stage, Fluttershy attempting to fly away in fear.
“Please, don’t make me do this Pinkie Pie.” She pleaded, to which fell upon deaf ears.
Twilight and I were left alone at the table, me completely confused and Twilight just scrolling through pictures or a book on her tablet. She looked completely engrossed in whatever she was looking at. I was just as content to not really talk right now though. Still kind of tired from earlier. I waved over the bartender.
“You buying?” Twilight asked, not even looking up from her tablet.
“I can get a couple drinks, yeah. What’ll you have?” I asked her as Lemon Twist got to the table with a couple tall glasses. He placed the cups on the table and walked away.
“Thanks Lemon.” Twilight said, placing the tablet down and levitating one of the glasses across the table to me.
“What’s this?”
“House special. Pretty good. A bit too much tequila for your taste maybe, but still.” She laughed, sliding her hand over the tablet, sliding over pictures.
“What you lookin’ at?”
“Oh, just a few things. Some papers about magic studies, reading one of the books I scanned on here.”
“What’s that a picture of?” I asked, craning my neck attempting to look at the tablet picture.
“Oh this? It’s just one of the two pictures of the librarian before me, Amber Sheen. She died in a robbery gone wrong twenty years ago. She was a good friend of professor Kaos’s. He mentioned her and I was curious.” She grabbed the chair underneath me and slid it and me along the floor next to her. She then flipped back to the first picture that she was looking at.
A profile picture, probably straight from the library database. An amber haired peg, brown wings and blue eyes. Something felt familiar but I couldn’t place it. I slid the picture to the right, going to the second picture. Six people, two toddlers and four adults. I recognized Uncle Disc almost immediately, even if his hair was just a little darker on the temples.
“Is that who I think it is?” I said, pointing to the two new adults.
“Yep, this picture was taken shortly before Magnum moved out here after he was drafted for his team. Doesn’t Rarity look adorable as a baby?” Twilight cooed at the picture of her. Rarity was pretty damn adorable as a baby. She even had perfect curls as a baby, but there was something else...something brown.
“Who’s the other kid?” I asked, looking at the small boy sleeping in the librarian’s arms.
“That’s Amber Sheen’s son. Don’t actually know his name, but he was taken away after her death. Disc said he keeps in touch with the kid, says he’s doing well. Kind of want to meet the son of one of the only pegs to successfully run a library.”
“Huh,” I said, downing the glass. The dream, this was almost exactly like that dream I had last night. Even down to the names. Maybe I was just being crazy, maybe it was coincidence but it was just too weird. “Another round?” I asked, holding up my glass towards the bar. Twilight smiled and nodded, finishing her own.
“So Rarity said you were asking about magic, why?” Twilight said.
“Well, my sister is a uni-”
“But you’re a peg? How does that work?”
“I’m adopted... but yeah, my sister is one and I’ve just been interested in it.” I replied just as Lemon brought over a platter of shots, mugs and tall glasses.
“On the house.” He said.
“Thank you again Lemon.” Twilight smiled as she lifted the glassware off the platter and onto the table.
“Anytime, Twilight.” He said, smiling walking back to the others. She passed over a few my way and lifted a shot, signaling me to do the same. I nodded, picking up the glass and tossed it back.
“You think you can keep up with me, pretty boy?” Twilight said, tossing her shot back as well. “Anytime I take a drink, you take a drink.” I chuckled.
“Well, shit. Yeah, yeah I am down for this. Just a warning, though. I don’t go down easily. So how does one figure out their particular school of magic?” I asked, slamming the shot down onto the table.
“Well, that’s actually -drink- really difficult to determine when you are jusht starting out.” Twilight hiccuped as she drained her own glass; her cheeks flushing, the liquid burned through her system.
“All unis can use all kinds of magic, except shadow magic. That takess a powerfulish uni caster. Even I can barely cast any shadow magic, but it’s mostly forbidden magic anyway. Drink. There was an associate of Dean Celeste’s that was a natural Shadow caster, but she is supposed to be really reclusive. Most can’t comprehend more than a simple arcane spell though. Mostly telekinesis and levitation spells.”
Water unis usually go on to become doctors and nurses, as most of those spells deal with healing of some sort. Although there are some that work alongside weather pegs to help calibrate machines. Wind unis are usually weird, simple as that.”
“Know any wind casters?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact. Professor Kaos is one, if not the most powerful, wind casters I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Earth casters, such as Rarity, -drink- work with their hands and generally are craftsmen by trade. Arcane is used in all manners of styles, but most magicians and illusionists are arcane.”
“What about you?” I asked, on my third attempt to get a word in.
“I,” she stated, placing a hand sloppily on her chest, “am one of the rising stars of the Arcane class. My expertise lies in manipulation and illusionary magic.”
“You didn’t mention fire casters.”
“What?” the drunk Twilight asked incredulously, “Of course, I did. There was the water and arcane and-”
“Nope.”
“Oh, well...um...you see, fire based casters are incredibly rare, almost as rare as a shadow caster. I only know of two and one of them is my sister in law.”
“Didn’t know you had a brother.”
“Yeah, he’s was just promoted in the military. Incredibly powerful arcane caster as well, specializes in shield magics. I remember when he asked me to be his Best Man, er Woman.... Girl? I don’t know. It was really sweet of him though.”
“What about the other one?” I asked, readying a full stein.
“Oh, well he’s -drink- pretty quiet about his fire abilities, I’m shure his family doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know that I know that he is one either so shhhh.” Twilight laughed as she slammed the shot. Her eyes glazed over, her head becoming too heavy for her neck. Twilight swayed in her seat, then fell forward head first into the table. The resulting thud was sickeningly awful and yet impressive. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’d have to say what an admirable undertaking she did, trying to put me under the table.
“Oh gosh,” Fluttershy said, her voice becoming even more high pitched and worried, “what happened to Twilight?” I guess they had finished their set. Fluttershy flew over to Twilight, picking her up off the table, stabilizing her.
“Guess she had too much to drink.” I laughed.
“I did not have too musch to drink. My head juss got really heavy.” Twilight protested, allowing her eyes to, once again glaze over. This time she at least slumped into Fluttershy. Unfortunate for the peg, Twilight looked like she had gone completely limp, putting her full deadweight on poor Fluttershy.
“Ha,” I said, jumping up triumphantly. “I win, Twilight. No one can drink me under that table.” I laughed, swaying on the spot. I felt my legs buckle underneath my body. I tried to stabilize myself, flapping my wings futilely against the inside of my peacoat that I had so foolishly tucked back in before coming inside. I grabbed for the table, barely catching myself before I hit the ground.
“Well, touche Sparkle. Touche. Never had someone-” I would have finished the sentence, but the ground came up to meet my chin before I had a chance to finish congratulating the resident Librarian. My head started to swim from the impact, and the booze, but mostly the impact. I felt an arm reach down, placing itself underneath my armpit and heaving me off the ground.
“If you just kept your wings,” Rarity grunted, “then I would not have to be doing such unladylike work, like picking up her drunk boyfriend off the ground. You would have been able to pick yourself up. But no. Put them away, you said, it is too cold, you said.”
“Hehehe,” I giggled, “it was cold...outside. But maybe...” pushing my left wing out of the coat, “it’ll be warm enough to,” right wing flipped open, “keep these out for now.” I smiled, impressed that I managed to get them out being this drunk.
“Rarity?” Fluttershy asked, “Do you think you will be able to get him back by yourself? He looks a lot heavier than he lets on.”
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie had a very drunk complaining Twilight in between them. She rambled about not being that drunk and how she could walk, but every time she tried to throw off Pinkie, she stumbled. Just enough for Pinkie to laugh and keep throwing herself under her inebriated friend.
“Yes, Fluttershy. I believe I can manage. Now that he has his wings out, he will be easier to manage. He can be such a drama queen when it comes to those things.” I fluttered my wings just a bit, showing them off. “Oh come on you.” She said, dragging me to my feet, leading me back into the snow. I threw my right wing over her shoulders, attempting to keep the snow off of her. Rarity just smiled sweetly at me as I slipped in the snow. Barely catching myself in time, I laughed.
“I told you, no one can out drink this peg.”