The pig and the pony faced each other on the rooftops. Lightning flashed, and thunder rolled.
“You see, you cannot stop me, Donny. Ponyville will know the wrath of Professor Piggy!” The pig himself was, well, he was a pig. A little diminuitive in stature, perhaps, but that had never stopped anypony, or anypig, before. The cape fastened around the pig’s neck only served to enhance his majesty and presence.
“No, Piggy. I will stop you,” said Donny in reply, “And I will save Ponyville from your dastardly schemes and plots.” The pony facing off against the pig was a green earth pony, with a purple mane and a short goatee. A cutie mark of a pink quill with several ink drops flying off it adorned his flank. Another bolt of lightning tore itself from the dark clouds above, and the loud boom of thunder followed in its wake.
For a while longer, the two mortal enemies simply stared at one another, as if engaging in a mighty battle of willpower using only their eyes. Had anypony else been asked to describe their thoughts on the battle, they probably would have thought that the two nemeses would engage in deadly combat, with each so perfectly matched that neither would get the upper hoof as they did glorious, awesome battle.
What really happened was this: Professor Piggy charged towards Donny with a great cry of ‘For Angst!’ and immediately ran into the pony’s outstreched hoof, where his stubby limbs flailed as they strained to reach the pony, but fell short by nearly a foot. Eventually, Professor Piggy grew tired, and slumped down to the ground.
“Curse you, my nemesis. You have defeated me once more,” said the pig, and Donny just rolled his eyes. Overhead, a blue pegasus shoved his head through the cloud bank to look down at the pony and the pig.
“Hey, are you guys done with your thing down there? I had to bribe half the weather patrol to get this storm for you. Dramatic weather effects don’t come cheap.”
“Yeah, we’re done. You can get rid of the storm now,” called Donny, and the pegasus retracted his head back through the cloudbank so he could begin dissapating it.
*****TIME*****
“But why, Donny? Why do you always prevail?” muttered Piggy, as rays of sunlight began to break through the dark clouds.
“Aside from the fact that I’m a foot taller than you? Ponies like happy endings, Piggy. They want to see the champion get the mare. Sure, angst can be useful, but without the makeouts at the end of the story, it’s just a big stick with no cupcake at the end,” explained Donny.