//------------------------------//
// Hey, Mister Writer! 
// Story: Fourth wall? What fourth wall? 
// by Zystral 
//------------------------------//

Come on, ibojangles. Drop Wrath of God. I know it’s in your hand. There we go, now pass the turn. Wait why are you tapping lands? Oh, I thought it was something bad. 
“okay, zy you need to change the course of this game now” 
You’re telling me. I need to get either Beacon or Time Stretch if I’m to pull this off though.

“Hi there, Mister Writer!”
Pinkie Pie, what did we say about the Fourth Wall?
“Uhm… that he’s a fragile being and I shouldn’t bother him too much?”
Correct. And what are you doing?
“…Bothering him?”
The sheepishness of that smile is hilariously cute but I’m not telling her that.
Sigh. Nevermind. What is it?
“Oh I just came to say and hi and see what you were doing and if you were writing anything new!”
I see. Well I’m not. Just playing some EDH with the guys.
“Ooh, are you playing Kaalia? I love Kaalia she’s really pretty and there’s this combo I discovered where if you put Sword of Feast and Famine on Hellkite Char-“
Stop. Please. Mistform Ultimus if you really want to know. This is my day off and I would like to enjoy it in peace.
“But did you forget about your deadline tomorrow?”
The what.
“Deadline! You have to write a totally original story for the contest!”
I wasn’t going to take part in that contest…
“But you have to! Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top bathed in a sea of chocolate inside a huge cake?”
I dunno… I can’t think of anything worth writing about that'll stand a chance of winning…
“Don’t worry, I’ll go get inspiration!”
…Sigh. That girl.
“I heard that!”

“Hey! Pinkie! Lemme go!”
“Nrr-hrr, Hrshie! Hr hrn hroo mreet dish guy!”
Oh boy. Gotta say, I’m impressed, Pinkie. Pulling a resisting Dash all the way here.
“Hra-”
Spit her out first.
“*ptoo* - Thanks!”
“Who the hay’re you talkin’ to?”
“Just look out there, Dash!”
“Out where?!”
Er… Hi.
“Whoever you are, I can't see you.”
Of course. I apologize. I'm a human in the human world-
"OHMIGOSH A HUMAN WHAT WHERE I'VE NEVER SEEN A HUMAN BEFORE I'VE HEARD STORIES BUT-"
Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Calm down, please. I mean no harm. I am just someone who lives in an alternate world to you. It just so happens that I observe your world through a screen. A badly damaged screen…
“Ehehe… oopsie!”
“Ooookaaay… And so what do you want with me?”
Ask Pinkie.
“Well basically Mister Writer – that’s what I call him – is a really good novelist and occasionally he writes stories about us and our friends now one day I looked around and noticed him watching us and writing his stories as normal and we got to talking and then one day I was browsing his computer and this site where a WHOOLE bunch of people get together and write stories about us and our friends and they were running this competition about who could write a good short story – there’s even a prize involved, I hope the prize is a cake I would really like a cake because they’re really delicious in fact I might even write a story about a cake in Ponyville myself and enter this competition to win because if I win then I get cake and cake is really delicious in fact there was this new recipe Mrs Cake came up with and it was full of berries and chocolate and really delicious I hope I become as good a cook as she is one day because that would make me happy because I could make cakes all day long and-”
OH DEAR GOODNESS I LEAVE FOR FIVE MINUTES TO GRAB A COFFEE AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET UP TO. You haven’t even explained to her why you’re here.
“Oh right. Basically he wants to write a story and I thought we’d help him!”
Dash?
“I think she’s still in shock from me talking too much what do you think do I talk too-”
Yes oh god yes please stop.
“A buh…I…wuh…aah…”
I am so sorry I promise I will not leave this chair again until you guys go home.
“Uhh…”
“Dashie? Please tell me you’re okay, I went through all the trouble of bringing you here to help him!”
“…I’m… Kind of okay?”
“Great! Let’s get started!”

…And as the rain beat down upon the plains-
“Come on! What is this? This isn’t cool! How do you expect to win anything with this garbage?”
Well… This is why you’re here – to give ideas and suggestions.
“I dunno… Something cool! Like lightning, tearing up the skies, and fire, raging across the horizon, and-”
“AND BALLOONS!”
Balloons?
“Yeah!”
.....
…And as lightning tore the skies, fire ravaged the horizon. Away from this scene of no no no! This is getting ridiculous. Why don’t we try a short story?
“How are you going to depict my coolness in a short story?”
“How are you going to make it funny?”
This clearly isn’t working. 
“Well, I don’t see you doing anything?”
What are you, crazy? I’m doing all the hard work!
“Oh boo hoo, I am typing so much my hands are starting to cramp, oh dear, however will I write imaginary stories about ponies now?”
Hey, watch it, little filly.
“Kiss my flank, I’m outta here!”
Any OTHER ideas, Smarty Pie?
“Oh silly, my name’s Pinkie Pie, not Smarty Pie!”
Whatever, just do something.

“Ah’m mighty sceptical, Pinkie. Yer ideas are usually as out there as Granny Smith’s hip.”
“Don’t worry, I want you to meet a very awesome human!”
“Ah beg yer pardon?”
“He’s this human that can see our world through his world. I need to help him write a story about out world!”
“Surely if he can see ar’ world, then he can write for himself about whatever he sees?”
I wish it were that easy.
“Darn tootin’ ya sure scared me!”
Apologies. Apparently only Pinkie is able to see me at all. All the rest of you can only sense my presence.
“Alrighty, pard’ner, you got any ideas?”
As a matter of fact… Eeee…nope.
“Well consarn it, that ain’t no good place to start.”
Sorry, Applejack. I hadn’t anticipated on writing anything at all.
“zy, you there? It’s your turn”
Ah, sorry girls, give me one moment.
“Ooh, Counterlash, I haven’t seen that one before!”
It’s from the new set, Pinkie.
“Looks delicious!”
“Hah, sorry. There’s… some activity at my place so I’m having trouble concentrating. Anyway, this time I’m gonna resolve Argentum Armor’s trigger before Eldrazi Conscription.”
“What in tarnation is goin’ on here?”
“It’s called ‘Magic: the Gathering’, it’s this card game humans play.”
Lots of thinking, and quite fun, in my opinion.
“Looks mighty complex.”
It is.
“sorry zy i need to mana drain that time stretch.”
“sorry nexus i need to spelljack your mana drain.”
“Good going, Mister Writer!”
So, where were we?
“Ah’m afraid storytellin’ ain’t mah for-tay – growin’ up as a filly, Granny Smith always used’ta tell me n’ Big Mac stories. Looks like ah didn’t get the same gift. Sorry ah couldn’t be of more help.”
It’ll be fine; I’ll come up with something. I usually do.
“Don’t worry Mister Writer, I have more friends!”
Pinkie…
“Back in a jiffy! Come on, Applejack!”

“lolol zy come on deliver the finishing blow already”
“but that would be such a waste when mistform ultimus is 22/22 and he only needs 2 more points of general damage”
“what are you waiting for, an extra turn or something”
“…basically yeah, that way I can eliminate you as well”
“Hi Mister Writer, I’m back!”
Hello Pinkie.
“I came back earlier but you were gone!”
I was probably eating lunch.
“Oh okay! Speaking of which I had these really nice cupcakes for lunch they were super yummy and soft and I had never eaten something like th-”
Gonna have to stop you there. I see you’ve brought Twilight Sparkle along.
“It’s a pleasure, Mister Writer.”
You as well. Please, Zy will suffice.
“So do you even have any grounding ideas about what to do?”
I’m afraid I don’t. I’ve only written two so far, and they’re both contrasting works. So to say that either “I want to stick with what I know” or “I want to break away from the norm” is not acceptable.
“Well, I’m no novelist myself, but whenever I write, I usually take an idea and expand on it as much as possible, taking it to the furthest extent of which it makes sense.”
I see… I am not sure I am capable of letting my mind wander like that – it would certainly help make the story-writing task much less tedious.
“Wouldn’t it be ‘make the task of story-writing?’”
Both are acceptable forms; in your case you use a preposition to place the verb before the noun. I personally prefer to avoid prepositions altogether.
“Wow. You’re good at your grammar.”
Such a shame that the skill does not directly correlate to good story-telling.
“I know, right?”
Let’s try this angle – Twilight, what sort of books do you enjoy the most?
“Oh gosh, let’s see… I don’t think I can narrow the selection down enough… I love action-based fiction like The Adventures of Daring Do, but I also get completely spellbound when I read up on the History of Equestria…”
So would something that tells past events or something that depicts non-fictional material in a prose-based manner be the best of both worlds?
“Oh no, I’ve tried reading those before. In my eyes, they just ruin the material in question, and the material in question makes it difficult to make a gripping novel.”
I see…
“If it helps, rather than thinking about books, you can try thinking of a story. After all, the contest is only asking for a story, not a book, right?”
Of course! I’ve been so foalish!
“Again, if you’re asking me, the best stories I would be able to tell are the adventures and fun I’ve had with my friends.”
I daresay, that’s genius. I think I may well have an idea at this point…
“Oh? Care to share?”
I’m afraid I’d rather not ruin the plan whilst it is still fresh in my head. I’m sorry. However, if you ask Pinkie she can show you where to find it on the Internet once I am done writing it.”
“I beg your pardon?”
Sorry. The human version of the ponynet.
“Oooh, what’s this silvery-blue thingy?”
Pinkie no, don’t touch that, that’s-
“I, want to kill, everybody in the WORLD – BRRRR badrdrdum wubwub drr-rr-rr wubwub badum dum tsh weee ooo-”
-iTunes.
“Oops. Sorry. Nice music though!”

---

Right. Nearly done, just the ending. Thanks, Pinkie.
“Anytime, Mister Writer!”
I promise next time we’ll do something more fun.
“Don’t be silly! Firstly, that’s my job; secondly, helping and watching you write is already fun in itself!”
… Thank you, Pinkie. So much.
“No problemo, Josémo! I’ll see you later!”
See you soon, Pinkie.

Alright, let’s do this.
“…and so, dear readers, here I am now. Thanks for sticking with me, on this perilous journey of inspiration and interactions. I hope you enjoyed reading the transcript as much as I enjoyed living it. I do not doubt that I will have more experiences like this one, but for now, this particular story ends. My day with the Ponies.”

- XXXXXX “Zystral” XXXXXX and Pinkamena Diane Pie