CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
AT THE MERCY OF MADNESS
In the popular entertainment vids a pony gets shot and just flops down, case closed… the reality is different. A dying pony convulses as his body refuse to accept his brains’ ruling that The Party Is Over. Stimbolt shuddered and shook in the confines of the straitjacket Discord had him in as he gasped, burbled wetly, and hissed. His eyes bugged and seemed to be trying to pop straight out of his head and his hooves drummed on the deck.
Sunny scrambled over to him on all fours, her usual grace deserting her in her urgency. Her horn flared to life but its nimbus washed off Stimbolts’ body impotently, warded off by a sickly green aura.
Dazzle goggled at the sight that lay at her hooves for a long second before she threw her gun away with a snarl and fell to her knees, clawing at the padlock that secured the body of the poor Middie.
“Do something, Doc!” She didn’t yell. Instead, there was a terrible urgency to her voice. “He’s dying!”
Sunny bit her lip in frustration as she tried spell after spell in rapid progression, the tears streaming down her face.
“I canna!” She moaned plaintively. “Naught can touch him! Not stasis, not healing… I canna even get th’ bloody jacket off th’ laddie!” Her own hooves clutched at the straitjacket frantically, but she might have been trying to get a hold of oiled glass for all she accomplished. Stimbolts’ struggles tapered off as dark blood and vomit began to spray out of his mouth as he choked. Finally, as Sunny and Dazzle watched helplessly, his writhing ceased and the light forever left those oh-so-young eyes.
Sunny tried to lay a hoof on his breast.
“His glow is fading.” She said quietly. She watched him for a space then closed her lavender eyes. “…’Tis gone.”
“No! Oh, Hell no!” Dazzle fell to trying to administer CPR to a body she couldn’t quite touch until Sunny touched her shoulder.
I sagged. All I wanted to do was slump to the deck even if it meant breaking my neck in this higher gravity! The Equestrin in me stirred, though. Sunny and Dazzle needed me, damnit! I tensed every muscle in my body and heaved myself onto my knees, trying to ignore the cacophony of chiropractic sounds from my protesting joints, and glared at the screen.
Discords’ image had abandoned his trappings and has resumed his throne-like seat. Indifferent to the tragedy before him, he’d conjured up what looked like a glass of chocolate milk and drank it down with relish. A snap of his fingers called forth a dainty white hanky. He dabbed at his mouth delicately and flung the thing away where it hovered in the form of a white cloth butterfly. He frowned at it and, with another snap of his fingers, burned it to ashes. As the debris sifted down out of sight he held up his Magic Prism and eyed it with irritation.
“All right, ‘Doctor Strangepony’!” I ground out, psyching myself up to attempt standing. “Since when does the Lord of Chaos stoop to senseless murder? History paints you as a trickster, not a killer!”
Discord gave up his scrutiny to spare me a glance.
“That’s ‘Doctor Strangelove’, not ‘Doctor Strangepony’! Really! If I’m going to all that trouble you might as well get the name right! It’s your culture I’m referencing, after all.” He cocked an unkempt eyebrow at me. “And since when am I History instead of Mythology? Am I making a Believer of you, Starry-Eyes?” He purred.
“The only thing you’ve made me is a freak!” Feeling like I was balancing an ore cart on my back, I carefully and slowly got my hooves underneath me. Certain bits of anatomy I’d recently acquired twinged painfully as they felt like they were being dragged out by their roots. “Why did you kill him, Discord? He was just a colt… and there are plenty of Ponies who hate you more than he did!” Treating the bastard to the most baleful glare I could muster, I braced my hooves underneath me and put everything I had into standing!
It was like picking up a shuttlecraft, but I was doing it! …Discord, of course, switched off the grav plating beneath me just as I got underway!
I caromed off the ceiling, hitting my head hard enough to see stars, and was in the act of rebounding when he resumed normal gravity. I got my hooves underneath me just enough to break my fall but not enough to make a graceful landing!
It wasn’t quite a belly-flop. I ended up full–length on the deck, my teeth clacking together, the breath whooshing out of my body, and tears springing into my eyes as my new Tender Bits exploded with pain! The concept of external genetalia, I came to the conclusion as I groaned, is highly overrated!
I forced my eyes open as I heard Sunny speak up.
“Why kill him?” She asked sadly. “Just t’ make a point? D’ye no ken tha’ we’re bloody powerless against th’ likes o’ yourself? D’ye ken tha’ this…” She indicated the body of Stimbolt. “Will get ye what ye want, ye cold-blooded bloody Chimera!”
He tore his amused gaze off me to whirl on Sunny.
“Aww! Why are you so sad, Princess?” His voice dripped poisoned sarcasm. “Don’t cry because he’s gone, smile because he happened! Death is but a Door, after all! That’s what they told me! …Or am I held to a different standard than all of you?” He added darkly.
Dazzle had been silent all this time, staring fixedly at the face of the slain Middie. With a hesitant hoof, as if Stimbolt would wake and hurl accusations at her at any instant, she reached out and closed those tragic, stricken eyes. Her gaze wandered around vacantly until it fell on the balefire pistol. She recoiled from it until she became aware of Discords’ voice. Her eyes snapped to the screen and blazed! She snatched up the weapon and brought it to bear right between the eyes of the image there. She screamed incoherently as she triggered the blast!
The screen shattered into a spiderweb of fractures around the melted hole! Against all the laws of physics, the image of Discord remained leering at her from each and every shard. Each and every image there spoke with its own tiny voice in varying volumes according to its size.
“Good shootin’, Calamity!” They chorused. “But then, we’ve already seen how accurate a shot you are!”
The tiny voices cackled in insane laughter as Dazzle fired again and again, ruining the console entirely. Discords’ image transferred itself to the remaining screens and he taunted her from a half-dozen directions at once!
Before she could manage even one more shot, though, she was enveloped in the aura of Sunnys’ horn. It was an anesthesia spell and it made her collapse onto her back, the gun clattering out of her hoof as Sunny caught her and eased her down.
“Stop it! Stop it!” Sunny shrilled, stomping a hoof! “Have ye no done enough already?”
“… Apparently not.” The faces on the screens stated matter-of-factly, tapping his chin thoughtfully and peering about into all corners of the Bridge.
I picked myself up off the deck painfully, the pain in my groin making it difficult to stand up straight.
“What…?” My voice came out in a strained squeak. I coughed and tried again. “What’s that supposed to mean? It doesn’t help us understand what you want when you don’t make sense, damn you!” I essayed a few cautious steps toward Sunny. It became easier to walk, though I still felt nauseous from the shot to my new hardware.
I came to kneel next to Sunny as she arranged the unconscious Dazzle on the deck. I laid a tender hoof on her shoulder. It broke my heart to feel her flinch away from my touch…
Trust Discord not to miss a thing like that!
“What’s the matter, Starry-Eyes, trouble in paradise?” His voice dripped with hammed-up sympathy and concern. He appeared on the screen nearest me, whole and hearty again, leaning in to speak confidentially behind the claw that held the Prism.
“If you ask me, I think she’s just jealous! Maybe I switched the wrong one around. She has a lot of ‘butch’ tendencies already, don’t you think? Mind you, I’m not saying I was wrong in my choice but I can see how it could work out the other way around. I really think she’d like to be the big, strong type. What do you say? I can even make you little and skinny, wouldn’t that be fun? It’s the least I can do to make up for all the trouble I’ve caused! Come on, what do you say?” He winked at me and brandished the crystal.
I contemplated Dazzles gun lying on the deck. I was sorely tempted to pick it up and carry on where she left off… but where would that get me?
“I’ll be thankin’ ye to no talk about me as if I werna here.” Sunny said dangerously. “N’ as far as yer offer goes, boyo… stuff it!”
The Lord of Chaos stuck his forked tongue out at her briefly before turning to me again.
“Humph! Alicorns! Never met one yet that wasn’t just so full of themselves. Sooo hoity-toity! Turning her into an Earth Pony would do her good, wouldn’t you say?” He eyed my Love darkly, toying with the Prism
“You heard the lady, Bub!” I said evenly. “You touch one hair, one feather, one chromosome on her and I’ll find some way to make you eat that fancy gemstone of yours. Got it? And since when are you so suddenly concerned with our well-being?” I stood and squared off with the mocking image on the screen. “You’ve killed one of my crew and deranged another!” I fought to keep my voice from rising higher than it already was. It took every last scrap of Augment control at my disposal to keep from raising my hooves to threaten him. “I won’t even get started on what you did to me, or these Gorn! I don’t care if you’re fruitier than a nut cake, you’ve gone to a lot of trouble to set all this up. Now, What Do You Want With Us?” Without realizing it, I’d balled up one huge fist and begun cocking my arm back.
But Discord only smirked. Then he grinned. The grin turned into a snicker, then a giggle, then full-blown laughter! His image collapsed onto his throne-like chair, practically doubling up in helpless mirth as I seethed. Sunny rose to stand next to me. She didn’t take my hand, but at least she was there and that made me feel better by exactly that much.
“How’s that testosterone working for you?” He giggled, wiping at his eyes. “You’re so adorable when you get mad! And you talk about my sense of humor!” He hooted and held his belly while Sunny and I exchanged looks.
With another of those switchback moods swings I’d come to know all too well, he changed tacks again.
“Where is all that intelligence that all your ridiculous kind are so proud of?” He glowered at us from his throne. “Do you really think I need anything from you? I’ve had quite enough of Ponies, thank-you-very-much, and I don’t intend to be trapped like that again! I’ve got a higher goal in mind!”
He threw himself back in his chair carelessly and seemed to forget us for a moment. He muttered to himself, ticking points off on the fingers of his paw.
“Let’s see… I’ve killed that silly Engineer, had my fun with the pathetic Earth Pony, and paid back that Security Pony. That’s three and three should have been enough! What could she be waiting for, I wonder? Hmmm….” He tapped his chin with the crystal in meditation. “Maybe nine times would draw her out, don’t you think?” He addressed the last remark to the crystal itself. “She probably just needs more coaxing. Well…” His mad gaze wandered back to us, his brimming with dark intentions. “We can arrange that, can’t we?”
I put myself between Sunny and the Lord of Chaos, my mind racing. Now what was he on about? And who was ‘she’? Every time I thought I was getting a handle on this mad thing he’d spin off in another direction!
Something about this talk of threes was familiar. Then it went off like a gamma-ray burst in my head!
Given a choice, Tyllae did things in threes. She wouldn’t enter Sekkacks’ cabin until she was invited three times. She said it was a ‘Faery Rule’! And ‘Quicksilver’ said he was coming to collect…
“Tyllae.” I stated aloud. “You want Tyllae!” I squinted at the image on the screen. “Why?”
“It took you long enough!” Discord scolded. “But what else could I expect? You probably never would have guessed it at all if I didn’t give you a clue!” He stuck his tongue out at me in petty smugness.
“She’s immortal, by all accounts.” Sunny said quietly. “Is that is, ye great, arrogant lump? Ye want a friend that’ll never die, do ye? N’ what makes ye think fer even a wee instant she’d take up wi’ th’ likes o’ ye?”
“She’s only hanging around with you bunch until she finds something better!” The Clown Prince of Chaos retorted. “Do you really think she actually cares for you? She’s a Faery! She has as much in common with you as you do to a worm. Don’t mistake practicality with maudlin affection! Trust me, Ponies, all Faeries are flighty. Like me, they’re creatures of Chaos. She’s just making the best of a bad situation. First chance she gets she’ll gladly leave for greener pastures! I’m here to give her that chance!”
I remembered the night Tyllae came to us. I remembered cuddling the sobbing little Fey to me. I remembered the terrible loneliness and despair in those tiny, black eyes. As well as the devotion and trust I saw in them countless times since. The implication that Tyllae was just using us burned in my heart!
“The only thing I trust about you,” I told the thing on the screen. “Is that you lie like a rug! If what you say is true why bother with the whole charade in the first place? Why pretend to be ‘Admiral Quicksilver’? Why put our ship and crew through your… your… tortures, you sadistic maniac?”
Maybe with Stimbolt gone and the Bridge a wreck Discord felt safe. Maybe I just provoked him… I had to admit that it gave me more than a little satisfaction to find that I was able to needle a god! In any event, he abandoned the screen, springing to being on the Bridge once again. He stretched and arched his back, sighing with delight as his joints popped and cracked. His absurd relief disappeared at once as he whirled to loom over me.
“Hello-o-o-o-o!” He singsonged and ducked down suddenly to look at me snout-to-muzzle. “I’m Discord!” He disappeared in a flash as I took a reflexive swing at him! He reappeared a few feet beyond reach, grinning malevolently at me as I dropped into a fighting stance, daring him with my fists to come back.
“I’ve really missed playing with you Ponies, you know. Aliens aren’t nearly so much fun. They aren’t filled with the righteous self-delusions of goodness you Pony folk are. It makes them so dreadfully boring and predictable.” He lounged against the far wall and proceeded to file his nails with the crystal nonchalantly.
“Take those Klingons, for example…” He paused to peer closely at his claw tips. He buffed them against his chest for a moment and didn’t resume speaking until he had a chance to admire them. “Gullible as foals! For all their prattle about honor and tradition all they’re really interested in is loot and plunder. Why, the least little tale they hear about a wealthy star-faring race just ripe for the plucking was enough to send them off to the races. It was glorious! They were practically falling over each other to get in there first. A race of pure pirates! …If they were only half as organized as those Romulans you Ponies would be in real trouble!” He chuckled to himself, amused by some memory.
“The Romulans are true xenophobes, you know. All it took was for someone… “He coughed delicately into the fist that held the prism. “…To tell them there was a technologically advanced race right next door! They dropped their own petty squabbles so fast it would have made even you spin!” He flashed up next to me just long enough to give me a dig with one scaly elbow! “Why I daresay they became more unified than your silly Federation will ever be. You Ponies should be so proud of yourselves, inspiring another species like that! It makes me want to weep in admiration!” He wiped a phony tear from an eye then clasped his paw and claw together to regard us both with simpering adulation… just before he broke down into laughter again!
“You…” I struggled for the words, thunderstruck. “You… set the Romulans on us? And the Klingons?”
“D’ye ken how many lives your meddlin’ cost?” Sunny put in, outraged. “I was on one o’ th’ Hospital Ships…”
Discord silenced her with a single upraised claw!
“Oh, spare me your tiresome whining!” He snarled as his mood flipped. He would have said more but something caused him to look away to a point behind us.
“Well, well, well.” He purred “Finally!”
A bright burst of pink radiance filled the Bridge…