//------------------------------// // Pretty Pony Liars // Story: The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted // by defender2222 //------------------------------// "...I just want to wish you both good luck... we're all counting on you." Ted Striker looked over at Elaine and grinned, unable to believe that he had managed to land the plane. He knew that Kramer was against him, no matter what the windbag tried to say now over the radio, but the fact that he had conquered the demons brought on by the war (including the memory of George Zip) meant that a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders... and that his drinking problem might finally be over (oh, how he longed to drink some water like a normal man!). There was only one issue that faced Ted as Elaine went out to help get the sick passengers off the plane. He was not Ted. "Well done Sam!" the holographic image of a man with slicked backed hair and a loud jacket proclaimed. "Thanks Al!" Sam Beckett said. "What does Ziggy say about all this... what happens to Ted?" "Well... hmmm..." Al's brow furrowed. "Well, believe it or not, Sam, it looks like Ted will be landing another plane... in space." "You're kidding me." "Yeah, but don't worry about it... I think you aren't going to be around to see it." Even as he said the words, Al could tell that his friend was leaping to the next adventure... ~MC~MC~MC~ "Hey... hey!" Sam blinked, his head killing him. No matter how many times he leapt into a new body the sensation never became common. He reached up and rubbed his eyes, getting the grit and grime out, before looking at his surroundings. The instant he saw them he wondered if he'd hit his head harder than he thought. "She's awake, everypony!" a pink pony with a fluffy pink mane proclaimed. "Girls, she's awake!" An orange pony appeared in Sam's field of vision. "Ya had us all worried there, sugar cube! When ya took that tumble we all thought you were a goner!" "Wha?" Sam said, reaching up to rub his eyes again... only to stare in shock at the blue foreleg that waved in front of his face. He turned to his right, staring past the other ponies and taking in his new self: blue skin, rainbow colored mane... wings. "Oh boy." Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home. The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted Episode 17: Pony Little Liars "Shining, everyone is staring at me," Cadence whispered, tugging on the hem of her pink baby doll tee. She wished it was much, much baggier, as the garment, as it currently was, clung to her curves and let everyone see her ample bosom and tight stomach. She glanced around nervously at all the looks she was getting from the almost every male student (except for the LGTB Club's stallions... but all the girls who were licking their licks and making kissy faces at her more than made up for the lack of guys in that group). Cadence wasn't ashamed of her body and was rather proud that she was not only smart but also beautiful... but she wasn't use to others staring at her like this. Shining just hugged her a bit closer and the pink-skinned woman found some of her nerves fade away at the closeness he offered her. "Don't worry, sweetheart, they are just staring because they like what they see." he leaned over and kissed her on the check. "Trust me, you are absolutely beautiful." "I hope the you from this dimension likes this new me as much as you do," she said as she led him to a secluded sitting area. "I'm sure he... wait, what?" Cadence whipped around, a saucy smile on her lips as she stared down the shocked frat boy. "You honestly thought I didn't realize that you were a different person?" When he weakly nodded she blew a raspberry. "Puh-lease! I knew last night that you much have switched bodies with this world's Shining Armor." She playfully tapped her foot and Shining found himself feeling a mixture of horror (that his secret had been found out) and thrill (at the sight of Cadence acting like HIS Cadence). "Do you honestly think I am the type of girl who would sleep with someone and not know they were someone else?" "But...what?!" Shining finally managed to get out. "Shining, I am a geek, remember? I've watched Sliders a hundred times and my favorite episodes of Star Trek are the ones where they use the holideck. You being a different Shining... yeah, that isn't even a blip on my radar." Shining sat down on a park bench, mulling over her worlds. "Am... am I really that different from my counterpart?" He had visions of this world's Shining being a jerk... a rude frat boy who insulted women and used them for his own selfish gain and never put the toilet seat down- "You are exactly the same," Cadence said, sitting down and wrapping an arm around him. "Granted, I haven't had a ton of time to interact with this world's Shining Armor since I babysat Twilight, but what I have seen shows me you two are exactly the same. I think this world is a mirror world, where destinies remain almost the same save for a few minor changes." "So in other worlds... it wasn't cheating when I slept with you." Cadence gave a very... well, to Shining, a very Cadence-like laugh. "Please! From what I've been able to gather about the other me she won't even blink if you gave her pictures." Shining considered this, glad to know he hadn't broken his vows. "Wait, if your Shining and I are so similar... how did you figure out I wasn't him?" "Well..." ~The Night Before~ They had only paused in their lovemaking for a moment to allow Shining a chance to use the restroom. Cadence tiptoed to the bathroom door and was surprised when she didn't hear the tale-tell sounds of someone taking a tinkle. "Calm down,Shining Armor," the frat boy said. "Just because you've switched bodies with a human that looks like you doesn't mean you need to freak out. You've done sex before, despite what Tydal has told your friends and family... now you get in there and plow this dimension's version of your wife." Shining began to slap himself in the face. "Stop being a pussy, Shining!" he snarled to himself, mimicking Tydal's voice. "Come on, Captain Armor, go in there and do her!" "But I'm scared," Shining said in a quiet whine. "I don't care!" Shining-as-Tydal snarled. "I will hoofpunch you and that evil muffin of yours if you don't go in there and DO HERE!" ~MC~MC~MC~ "...well, look at the time," Shining said, trying to make his escape, only for Cadence to grab his arm and drag him across the quad, her head resting on his shoulder. ~MC~MC~MC~ "So, why are you stalking these teenagers?" Chrysalis asked, filing her nails down to razor-sharp points. She'd really gotten into the whole 'be a sexy evil villainess' thing; she'd quit her job and gotten a position at the college as their new drama professor (she'd told Tydal it was so she could have her own loyal minions). She looked up from her work, watching as Tydal and Sunset Shimmer cast glanced over at a table that held five teenage girls. They were seated outside an ice cream parlor, their treats finished and their focus now on the teenagers. "Isn't one enough?" Tydal snorted. "I am not looking for that... who do I look like, Mosely Orange?" He subtly gestured towards the other table. "Those are the girls that pick on Sunset all the time. She is family-" "-we still haven't found a shred of proof that I'm Celestia's daughter," Sunset reminded him. "-and family sticks together." Tydal rose from his sweat and smirked. "Now, I will go introduce myself, using my position as dean of the local college-" "To get them to have sex with you while secretly filming it and then you will put the footage online?" Chrysalis guessed. "WHAT?!?!" Tydal snapped. "By my Mother, that is sick." "...so are ya going to do it or not, darling?" Chrysalis purred. Tydal walked away in disgust. "Hmmm, being a bitch is certainly more fun that being a weak-willed wallflower," the new drama professor said casually. "Hello, girls," Tydal said as he approached the table where Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity sat. "My name is-" "DATE RAPE!" Rarity screamed, spraying Tydal with mace. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" the gray dean roared, falling to the ground and clawing at his eyes. "Geez, Rarity, ya need to calm down there a touch," Applejack said. "Yeah, Rarity, what if ya had hit one of us!" Rainbow complained while Pinkie took the mace and sprayed it on her ice cream sundae. "WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME!?!" Tydal screamed in agony. ~10 Minutes Later~ "You ok?" Sunset asked the moaning Tydal. "Yeah... thanks for peeling my eyelids back and pouring milk in my eye sockets; I think that really helped." Tydal shook his head in frustration; the five girls had left shortly after macing him... as had everyone else. "Lousy teenagers, macing me like that... I should visit 10 plagues upon their houses!" "You see, it's things like that which make us question your sanity," Chrysalis stated. "We need a better plan," Sunset said with a huff. "What if we killed every first born male child in every household?" Chrysalis asked, admiring her now clawed-hands. "... to Jewish," Sunset decided. "What if we work up a #6 on them," Tydal offered. "I'm not familiar with a #6," Sunset said. The gray-skinned dean smirked. "That's where we ride in, whomping and whipping everything that moves within an inch of its life." Sunset grimaced. "...so, I think I am going to just bake some cupcakes made with laxative..." Tydal stood up, his face twisted in a mask of fury. "I know how to deal with those five! Starting with the white one!" He rubbed his hands together in glee. "I'll turn her into a flea... a harmless little flea." "What?" Sunset said in confusion. "And I'll put that flea in a box!" Tydal reached over and grabbed a small box, pantomiming putting an imaginary flea in it. "Then, I'll put that box in another box..." Tydal did just that, then waved over a tall, beautiful blonde mailwoman. "And I'll mail that box to myself!" He gave the box to the mailwoman. He grabbed a muffin and handed it to her. "And here is a tip. Derpy." "Yay!" Derpy said happily, taking the box and walking away. "Tydal, what are you-" "Then, when the box arrives..." Tydal said just as Derpy spun around and brought him the box. "Package!" she giggled. "Thank you, here is your tip." Snatching another muffin, he gave it to Derpy before putting the box on the table. "And when it arrives... I SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!" He lifted up a sledge hammer and destroyed the box (and their table) in one mighty swing. "... too Emperor's New Groove," Sunset stated. "I wondered why you brought that hammer." Tydal snorted, sitting back down and crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine! We'll just send them a bunch of text and e-mails to make them think their friends are sabotaging everything you like." Sunset grinned, pulling out her phone. "Yeah... this plan I can get behind." "I still like my flea one," Tydal pouted. ~One Day Later...~ "What did you tell them?" Shining asked as he and Tydal stepped towards the Mirror of Worlds. It was a long, convoluted tale of how Shining had found the mirror, so let's just say it was under his bed. "Just that I was going for a walk," Tydal said, looking a little glum. "I'm gonna miss Sunset... she's so delightfully vicious now. You should see some of the lies she tweeted or texted or whatever it is teens do here. Simply brilliant." "I'm sure," Shining said, rolling his eyes. "And you wrote out your notes?" Tydal patted the notebook in his pocket. He'd come up with the theory that the two of them had merely displayed the Shining and Tydal of this world and that once they stepped through the mirror their other selves would take back control of their bodies. Fearing that his alternate self wouldn't remember Cadence, Shining had suggested writing notes to themselves, explaining the situation and acting like the whole thing had been a case of mild amnesia. They hoped that the them from this world would continue on... Shining dating Cadence and Tydal mentoring Sunset and Chrysalis. "What do you think the girls have been doing since we've been gone?" Shining asked as they prepared to step through the mirror. "Knowing them? Probably getting their hair done and getting back massages." ~Meanwhile, in the Pony Universe...~ "I... I keep telling you, I don't know what happened to them!" Celestia glared at the Harry Beaver, owner of the Antique Shop they'd been in when Shining and Tydal had disappeared. When it was clear that their brother and the captain were not coming right back, Celestia and Luna had shut the shop down, strapped the beaver in a chair and begun their interrogation. That was three days ago. "See, I really wish you'd tell me the truth," Celestia said in a bored tone, idly pacing in front of him. "Otherwise things are going to get rough." "Yeah!" Luna screamed in his ear. "Rough as in me roughing up your face!" "You... you can play good cop/bad cop all you want, it still won't help!" the beaver wailed. "We aren't playing good cop/bad cop," Celestia said, trotting around him and wearing a huge smirk on her face. "We are playing good cop/bad cop/slutty cop." "Good cop/bad... what do you-AAAAAACCCKKK!!" The beaver flailed as Cadence leapt onto him, her back legs wrapped around his waist as she began to grind against him chest. She crossed her legs and snarled as she squeezed. The sounds of bones creaking and cracking filling the air as Cadence threw back her head and moaned. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" "I'd start talking," Chrysalis said from her spot watching the Magic Mirror. "Cadence's leg muscles are so well developed she can turn coal into diamonds." "AND I!" Cadence squeezed harder, "HAVEN'T! GOTTEN! ANY! SATISFACTION! SINCE! YESTERDAY!" "AAAAAAAA!" Harry Beaver cried out. "Give us something to work with or we'll have her straddle your head!" Luna roared. "What do you want from me?" Harry Beaver whined the moment Cadence eased up. "I WANT MY TYDAL BACK!" Luna screamed, tears in her eyes. Celestia hurried over and nuzzled her as her little sister sobbed. "I want him back, I want him back!" "I know it is a line from that 'Princess Bride' movie you two love..." the girls whipped around as Shining and Tydal emerged from the mirror, "...but as you wish." "Tydal!" Celestia cried out. "DADDY!" Luna screamed, tackling the old goat and hugging him tight. "So undignified and rough and..." Chrysalis shook her head. "Ah, screw it. TYDAL!" She leapt forward, glomping the sea god. "Shining!" Cadence squealed, getting off the beaver and hurrying over to her husband, peppering his face with kisses. "I knew you would be back!" "So did I!" the evil muffin said moments before Shining knocked him out a window. "Where did you go?" Celestia asked. "It was so strange," Shining said. "You were there... and you were there-" "NO!" the rest of the group screamed. "None of that," Celestia said sternly. "Shame on you." "So... where were you?" Luna asked Tydal, refusing to stop hugging him. "Could you untie me please?" Harry Beaver asked. "It was a strange place," Tydal stated. "As Shining was alluding to, many of the ponies we knew were there but in altered forms." He grinned as he thought of one particular pony. "I did meet Celestia's daughter." "Wait, I have a daughter? I thought all my kids were dead." "This one wasn't." Celestia's eyes went wide and she began to happily canter through the shop. "I have a daughter." "Seriously, I would love to be let down," Harry Beaver whined. "Oh, I can't believe I have a daughter... one I can actually spend time with! We'll do each other's manes and gossip about boys and bond over our monthly bleeding cycles!" Luna glanced at Shining. "You aren't going to sleep with this one, are you?" "I did not commit incest!" Shining shouted.