//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2: Love songs 
// Story: The Hacker Pwny 
// by Chetzi 
//------------------------------//

July 24, 2012 mid afternoon

While I followed Fluttershy around town, I was glad that there was no sign of that tree house. Yet. I was deep in thought about my current mess while the bright yellow pony kept quietly talking about things, even though I didn't really listen. Just then I heard a swooshing sound up above, it reminded me of military jets. Than I felt naked because I realized that I had no protection, no weapons, and worst of all, no computers.

"Hey! Fluttershy! Who's the new pony?" I first thought that the new pony was a guy about 12-14. Than I felt a gust of chilling wind pass me by as the voice landed near me. When I glanced up and saw a light blue pony that had wings but no horn like Fluttershy and also had... rainbow hair? What? Well at least now I know it was a girl. That reminds me, what does my hair look like? Snap out of it Dylan! This isn't the time to be admiring your pony hair. This is the time to be surviving. Fluttershy than spoke up.

"This is Neon Blaze, Rainbow Dash." The oddly colored pony replied to her by saying,

"Neon Blaze? Cool name!" She than turned to me and exclaimed, "Hey there! The names Rainbow Dash!" She extended her hoof clearly wanting me to shake it. While she held her hoof out, I remembered her from the memes. Shes lesbian or bi and she's called "da best pony" or at least that's what I knew from the Internet. I just stared at her hoping she would go away. I can't take anymore of this pony hell world.

"Can he speak?" Rainbow Dash blurted out, rudely.

"No, I can't speak" I retorted sarcastically.

"I'm loving the color of your hair, dude." The rainbow infested hair pony mentioned. Now I'm curious about my hair too. Than I got mad at myself because it's just hair and I refuse to get distracted by it. Because of the mindless distraction the rainbow pony gave me, I glared very intensely at her and she took a few steps back.

"uh, I have... some where to be! Bye!" And with that the sky blue pony flew up and dashed away at incredible speed. I looked around and noticed that Fluttershy was shaking clearly scared of my glare. I put on an indifferent expression again and slowly, she stopped shaking.

"W-well I guess we s-should continue the t-tour... if that's okay with you..."

"It's ok, lets keep going." We walked toward a tall building that I really couldn't describe.

"This is the carousel boutique. It's owned by Rarity." Hmm, Rarity... isn't that the pony bitch who is obsessed with clothes and gems and complains constantly? Just then the door opened and I saw a light blueish gray pony walk out. She had curly purple hair and was wearing reddish orange secretary glasses and had yellow tape measure around her neck.

"Oh, Fluttershy, I see you found a new pony. Do you mind introducing me?" The whitish pony has greeted me and Fluttershy with. Fluttershy began to open her mouth when I interrupted her by saying,

"I'll introduce myself. Call me Neon Blaze. And yes I'm new here."

"I just love those unique colors of yours and would love to create clothes that would match you perfectly." I suppose I should just let her do what she wants... for now.

"Okay, thanks for the offer and what is your name?"

"Call me Rarity, dear. Now, come on inside, we have a lot of work to do to design those clothes." Actually, I would rather avoid being stuck there for hours.

"Thanks but, I'm kinda busy right now. I'll come back later to try on clothes. Plus I have no money."

"It's okay, you need clothes and I would be more than happy to give you a free set." The generosity felt... Comforting. I haven't felt that emotion for so long. This kind of thing would never happen on earth.

"Okay, than I guess I'll see you later. Come on Fluttershy, let's see what else is in Ponyville." Fluttershy than starts to walk off while I followed her. We walked through the city not really saying much until we came into some kind of cartoony farm filled with apple trees that looked like a four year old drew them. Than I heard a loud slamming sound like hooves against wood. I looked toward the sound and found some orange pony with long blonde hair tied up in a pony(ironic much?) tail. She was wearing a cowboy hat and freckles... wow. This is just plain stereotyping. I maybe Texan, but I'm still a genius hacker. Fluttershy started to walk up the cowgirl(or cowpony? Ponygirl? Someone help me with this.) and motioned for me to follow.

"Howdy, there stranger." When I get the chance, I'm gonna fucking hack Hasbro's dick off. This bad stereotype Texan is insulting. "You can call me Applejack! So, what brings ya to these parts?" Already hating her from the start, I decided not to speak. In my place, Fluttershy spoke for me.

"This is Neon Blaze and he is a new pony here. I'm showing him around Ponyville." Why the fuck did I choose that name? I really should have thought about it more. It would have been at least funny if I named myself Gaylord_steambath69.

"Well, thank ya for bringing him to sweet apple acres. So than, Neon, how 'bout ya meet the rest of the apple family?" Knowing that it would require a lot of people to run a farm like this and I can't stand stereotypes, I will have to pass on this.

"No, I'm fine. Maybe another time. I have other places to be."

"Kay, than partner! See ya later!"

I then saw three small fillies running across the field behind us looking very determined. The first one I noticed had white skin and half pink half purple hair that was curly at the tip and looked like Cotton candy and she had a horn. The second one was yellow and had red hair with a lighter red bow tie on top of her and she had neither horn nor wings. The last one was orange with flowing purple hair and she had wings.

"Who are those three?" I asked both Fluttershy and Applejack. Before either could answer, I walked after them curious at what they were planing. Than I stopped dead in my tracks after only a few feet. Damn it Dylan! I shouldn't care about what they are doing. The sooner I get off this creepily colorful planet, the better. My hooves than shook rapidly almost mimicking the act of typing. I had withdraw from computers and haven't been able to program or do anything brain intensive since I've gotten here. Realizing that I will go crazy if I don't get out of here soon, I headed back to Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, where should we go next?"

"Well, Pinkie pie loves to meet anypony so I think we should go visit her at Sugarcube corner... If that's okay with you..."

"Sugarcube corner it is. Lead the way." Fluttershy than walked out of apple acres while I followed. I did kinda like Pinkie Pie. Breaking the fourth wall was always funny and I enjoyed her randomness but I dislike people so that means I dislike parties. Well, this will be interesting. So for pretty much the whole walk, I was thinking about how to avoid having to go to a party with her. After thinking for a fairly long time, I think I came up with a good plan to get out of it. Then I smelled some really strong pastries, almost strong enough to knock me out, and assumed that it meant we are here. As Fluttershy opened the door and walked in, I followed her in and instantly turned about 3 shades whiter. There was Twilight. Oh fuck! I didn't plan for this! She noticed me and walked toward me. While she walked up to me, I was nervously sweating about what was going to happen. I had tons of stupid ideas ranging from pretend to be someone else to act like I didn't know her but I didn't have the time to plan anything out. She stood right next to me and spoke.

"Hello, Neon-"

"I'M SO SORRY! I WAS PANICKING AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" I put my arms up in a defensive stance and braced for impact.

"Calm down! I forgive you! I understand that you were not thinking clearly." What... Really? After all that! Slowly, I lowered my arms and turned to her. I didn't know if I should have been mad or thankful.

"Wow... T-thanks Twilight... Th-that means a lot to me. If there is anything I could do to show I'm really sorry, I'll do it." Just then something pink and bouncy come though the door. I didn't care enough about it to look.

"Hey! A new pony! This deserves a party!" I could tell that the over excited voice, had to be from Pinkie Pie. Well here comes my greatest excuse ever. "So who are you? My name is Pinkie Pie!"

"Neon Blaze and hello." She was as usual bouncing up and down with a smile. It's a lot creepier when see does it 2 feet away from your face.

"Hello Neon! So let's throw a welcoming party!"

"I really don't like parties..."

"DOESN'T LIKE PARTIES! This is unacceptable! I will have the best party ever ready in 3 hours! I'll invite everypony in ponyville!" And with that she bounces out of the Sugarcube corner leaving me thinking, well there goes my perfect excuse. This is gonna be hell telling her in 3 hours that I really don't want one.

"Fluttershy, let's get out of here. I can't stand this any more." I said to Fluttershy.

"Actually," Twilight spoke," I need to show you to your room and get you situated here." Oh yeah, I forgot all about living with twilight. 

"Sorry Fluttershy, it was fun but I should go with twilight now. I'll see you later, ok?" Fluttershy looked kinda sad having to end the fun of this.

"O-okay. I think angel might need me anyway... bye for now." I than waved at her good bye and followed Twilight out. After walking only a half mile or so, we reached Twilight's house. Her purple hoof pushed open the and she greeted spike by saying,

"Spike! I'm home and I found Blaze!" Then the small dragon walked up to me and angrily stared at me.

"How dare you hurt Twilight!" Spike yelled, breaking the awkward silence. I knew how to handle people like this. Right before I glared at him, Twilight spoke up.

"Spike, he was scared and he already said sorry and I forgave him and you should do the same." Spike stopped staring at me and replied with,

"Right... sorry about that Blaze."

"It's okay, there's no problem" Twilight than walked forward and motioned me toward the stairs. I followed her upstairs and she led me past a few doors. It was all in a plain, wood hall. There were no photos nor any carpets or rugs or tables or really anything just a kinda dull brown wood color. She opened the first door down.

"Here's your room."

"Thanks, Twilight." She than walked into the room with me close behind. Once I looked inside I noticed it was slightly dusty and had basic living furniture. There was a medium size bookshelf that held thirty or so books, a basic one pony bed with red blankets and white mattress and pillow, a generic desk with just a plain wood top and no drawers. It also had an average size cheap wooden chair. While glancing at the desk, I saw a flash of an image that appeared to be my computer on the table. Wait... THAT'S IT! I had an idea that could make me the ruler of Equestria... no. I couldn't do that, I'm not a tyrant or dictator. But... still I may still need to do this for my own sanity.

"Hey, Twilight, does any one sell Silicon and aluminum or copper?" I had built computers from scratch before, and if there was a chance I could bring those little devices into this planet, I would take it.

"Uh, I think... there might be somepony selling them in Canterlot. I'm not really sure but I have seen nearly everything being sold there. I'll go check, be right back!" And with that she disappeared in some purple flash. Man, that's a neat trick. Well it looked like I have a few minutes to kill. Than my mind drifted back to my hair. Oh well, I had time, so I left my room looking for a mirror. It would be rude to just go though her house so I decided to ask Spike for help.

"Hey Spike! are you there?" I shouted down the hall.

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"Are there any mirrors in the house?

"Yeah there's one in Twilight's room." 

"Which door is Twilight's room?"

"Second one on the right."

"Thanks!" So I then preceded to that very door and opened it. The one thing I could think, books. Lots and lots of fucking books. Geez! Does she have a life! Than a devilishly funny idea came into my head, I should switch all the books out with Playboy. No, maybe later, I had other things to do and I didn't think Playboy even existed here. After stumbling about in her room though the towering bookshelves, I came across a mirror. Finally. I looked directly at it expecting me, human again, but that didn't happen. I was still shocked about this new pony body. The bright neon green color that was my skin was almost glow in the dark and everyone noticed me when I walked near them. I would always stand out in a crowd. The next thing I noticed was that I had a horn. I forgot I could use magic but even than, I didn't know of any spells. But, good for me, I'm a quick learner. Than my eyes looked at my hair in the mirror. It was even more unique, it was medium length and the sides came below my ears completely covering them, the back was touching then bottom of my neck, and the front was nearly over my eyes. It was kinda puffy and shaggy and it was silver in color with a thick stripe of neon light blue going though the front off to the side. Damn, I looked badass... for a pony. Than a familiar voice said,

"Okay, I'm back and I found what you need. Neon? Where did you go?" Well, that worked better than I thought it would and now I need to ask her about magic. No wait, I was going to leave soon and than the magic would be gone so learning it would be pointless, but still it would be pretty cool.

"Thanks, Twilight," I told her as I walked toward her out of her room. I'm still gonna do that Playboy thing. Once she was close to me, I grabbed the raw materials out of her hand and placed them on the desk.

"So, I heard you're good with magic and I would like to know some." Yeah I was never really good at talking to people.

"Yeah I'm studying magic, and I could lend you a few books." Damn it, I hate books. Where's a kindle when you need one? Oh well, I didn't have much of a choice.

"Thanks, Twilight I-" Before I could finish my sentence, she walked out of the room and came back in only about five seconds later with about... three, five, thirty-two, sixty-three, eh, I lost count of all the books. This will be harder than I thought it was to learn magic.

"Okay, so the first rule of magic is you need to find your branch of magic your good at." Oh, god. There are branches of magic, I'm fucked.

"Actually, Twilight, I just need to know how to levitate things with magic."

"That's a good way of starting! Okay, so first you build up raw magic in your horn..." Cue montage while playing The Final Countdown. We practiced magic for a few hours until it was dark outside. It wasn't that hard to learn it, it was just very time consuming. So I eventually learned it to the point of where I could lift small objects and combine them with other small objects at great precision.

"Hey, Twilight I think we have learned enough for the day. It's dark and I would like to get sleep for tomorrow."

"Yeah, I suppose its for the best. I probably should be heading to bed also. Spike's most likely already asleep." She left the room and as soon as she was out of sight, I raced over to my raw materials and opened them up. It's the perfect amount and purity that I need to make plenty of integrated circuits. As I started cutting them down with magic and thinking about about what type of integrated circuit I was going to make, I heard some over excited pony burst though the door. Surprised, I glanced over to her and she said,

"Come on Blaze! It's time for the party!" Of fucking course. It just had to be Pinkie Pie didn't it? Couldn't she had died of eating too much sugar or something? Why did I have to put up with her? I could tell that this wouldn't end well. While she was still bouncing on my floor, I replied to her by saying,

"Sorry, Pinkie Pie, but I really don't like parties. There are just too many people-" She cut me off, again, saying,

"Well if you wont go along with me, I'll just drag you there! Come on! You will like it!" And once she said that, she pulled out some rope and jumped over me and tied me up. I tried to stop her with magic but she was too big to be lifted by my noobish magic skills. Once I was all tied up, She dragged me down the stairs with my head banging against each step, it really fucking hurt. After that, She opened up the treehouse's door and dragged me outside. I could hear faint music beats somewhere near.

"Stop! Pinkie Pie! You can't just drag people against their will! This isn't fair! I have rights!" I complained about it and almost begged her to stop, but she never did. After she dragged me for ten minutes, she excitedly exclaimed,

"Look! Where here at your party!" Then she dragged me in the building and I saw dozens of ponies. As I glanced around, I saw Twilight and Spike there... WHAT! REALLY! THEY WERE FUCKING IN ON THIS! I went into rage mode and desperately tried to get untied. I got a foot loose and kept jumping on that foot backwards hoping to get out. I fell over after jumping around for a few minutes and landed near some pony.

"Do you need help with that?" The unknown pony asked me. I could tell she was female.

"Yes, please. I was dragged here against my will by Pinkie Pie." After I said that, she giggled. "Har har, it's so funny. Just help me out of these."

"Pinkie Pie drags a lot of people against their will to parties. You should be lucky it was just rope this time." This time? Note to self: Avoid Pinkie Pie at all costs. The unknown pony used magic, if I had to guess, to get me out of the ropes. I turned around once I was free and noticed it was Vinyl Scratch. She was my favorite pony because she was popular on the Internet and when I saw that four second clip of her on stage playing music, I instantly thought she would be perfect for me. It's just that perfect smile, the smooth head bobs, the best hair I've ever seen, the cool headphones, and those awesome glasses. She was so cool and I really wanted to meet her. Never under any circumstance, did I think I would be meeting her, especially not like this.

"So... hey..." Well this was awkward." My name is Neon Blaze."

"Cool name, My stage name is DJ Pon-3 but my real name is Vinyl Scratch. You have the coolest hair I've ever seen! It would be cool if I could meet you sometime soon after the party." Well... that was easy... uh.. what do I do after this? Well here goes nothing!

"Oh yeah! uh... I think we could meet at the..." My mind went blank as I tried to think of a place to go. She could tell I had trouble with this so she picked for me.

"Café it is. See ya tomorrow at lunch!" And with that She walked back to her DJ table and put on another heavy beat song. Why couldn't getting a girl back on earth be this easy? Well I guess this party wasn't really that bad... except for getting kidnapped... that kinda sucked.