//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1 Newspaper Article: Local Stallion Awakes Suprisingly Chipper 
// Story: Super Trampoline the Bat Pony's Day As Presented Through Various Writing Paradigms 
// by Super Trampoline 
//------------------------------//

The News in Brief



Area Stallion Wakes Up “Strangely Chipper”
Fine Print reporting from Ponyville, Equestria 
For most ponies, waking up in the morning is a dull necessity at best, and more often something closer to a dismal chore. However, we have reports that this morning, one stallion is bucking the trend.
Super Trampoline, resident of Ponyville, is alleged to have woken up in a great mood at 6:52 a.m. A source close to him who wishes to stay anonymous confirmed that she “heard him happily thumping down the stairs around 7:30-ish, completely oblivious to my quiet sobs over the fact that my husband is having an affair. We’ve been married for 35 years, and now he suddenly decides to throw that all away? To throw me out?!? He doesn’t care about me; he doesn’t care about his strangely chipper son; all he cares about is himself.”  Later, several ponies claim to have seen him skipping about while humming something one called “annoyingly catchy”. When asked by a local fruit vendor what the special occasion was, he is said to have replied “nothing, just happy!”
His friends and neighbors are puzzled over his sudden change in behavior. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He usually sleeps in and doesn’t get anything done until almost noon,” said one Heart Throb. “I mean, I’m glad he’s finally getting his [act] together, but it’s still weird.
“It’s ridiculous. Totally ridiculous,” said local curmudgeon Soda Pop. “I mean, here I am, a successful businessstallion with a stable job, a loving wife, and two great foals, and I’m miserable. I see a therapist three times a week! I’ve been kicked out of the bar five times this month. I’m freaking depressed. What the heck? And then THIS stupid deadbeat musician wakes up an hour before his alarm, and does he look at his life and see what a failure it is? NO! He’s up and at’em all cheerful and shiz. What the buck man? What the buck?”
Pinkie Pie offered a more upbeat appraisal of his behavior. “OHMYGOSHI’MSOGLADTOHEARTHATTHATMEANSTHATHE’LLHAVEMORETIMETOHANGOUTWITHMEANDTHAT’SGREATISN’TITSUPERWONDERFULMR.REPORTER?!?!? Mr. Reporter?”
And as for the stallion himself? Our reporter caught up to him for an exclusive interview. However, it was a short one, as after the first question he curtly replied “Why do you guys care? Go away.” Further questions only yielded further elusiveness.
                Perhaps this is for the better though. After all, isn’t some of the beauty of magic found in not completely understanding it? Perhaps we should just be happy that for Super Trampoline, morning in Ponyville shimmers.