What is loss?

by auramane

Confessions

Big McIntosh watched as Applejack and Rainbow Dash ran out into the trees. Usually this part of the day was filled with laughter but for some reason today they were being unusually quiet. They both seemed to have a lot on their minds.
He shrugged and headed off back to work. He knew that he would never get an answer from his sister if she didn’t want to give him one and he didn’t feel that it would be proper to pry into the business of a pony that wasn’t family.
Still it had been a while since his sister had last acted like this; the previous time was when she had been asked out by a colt who promptly didn’t turn up to the spot he invited her to. Maybe his sister was having relationship problems? He snorted at the ridiculousness of that idea. Since that incident she had not had eyes for any colt or stallion.
He thought about this for a while longer before he decided to stop coming up with stupid ideas. Fun as they were, he knew as much about what was going on in Applejack’s head as he knew about magic. He decided that his sister would tell him what was wrong when she was good and ready and he got on with his work.

Applejack ran along behind Rainbow. Usually at this point they would be neck-and-neck, each trying to pull ahead of the other. This time they were both more subdued but Rainbow had at least kept some of her competitive spirit. For now Applejack was content to lag behind and think. She had no idea of what she was going to say or even how to broach the subject. She had never even properly been with a colt and yet she was about to ask her best friend out on a date? This best friend also happened to be a mare, which added another layer of complexity to the matter. She had no idea how her other friends, her family or even how Rainbow would react. She didn’t even know if Rainbow liked mares.
She was shaking her head when she noticed a few raindrops landing on her back. She looked up and saw dark clouds gathering over the orchards. She was wondering why rainbow had not warned her about the weather when suddenly she was blinded a bright flash and was deafened by a loud boom of thunder. She hadn’t stopped and almost ran into rainbow as she skidded to a halt in the dirt.
“Huh” said Rainbow, “it wasn’t meant to rain for another hour, what are those clowns up there doing”. She crouched low, getting ready for a quick takeoff but suddenly there was another flash of lightning and the boom of the thunder was much louder this time. Rainbow slowly got up and said, with a slightly shaky edge to her voice “maybe I should stay down here for a while”.
“You don’t say” Applejack deadpanned while resisting the urge to laugh. “Come on, ah think ah know a cave ‘round here somewhere”.
Applejack galloped off with rainbow close behind her. They found the cave eventually, by which time they were both already soaked. They went in and collapsed gratefully into the dry ground.
Applejack looked up at Rainbow as she flapped her wings to get rid of the water on them. Applejack had always been fascinated by pegasus wings and watched them closely, seeing the water rolling off of every feather in slow motion. She was completely enthralled.
“Uhh, Applejack,” Rainbow asked cautiously, “why are you looking at my wings like that”. Applejack suddenly realized what she was doing and instantly became more interested in the floor than she had been in Rainbow’s wings.
“No reason” she stuttered, mind racing to come up with an excuse. “Ah just don’t usually get to see them when they’re wet that’s all”
“Okay… right” said Rainbow, not sounding very convinced.
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them for a few seconds before they both took a deep breath and both said “look have something import…”. They both stopped talking, embarrassed before Applejack said
“You go first sugar cube” encouraged Applejack.
Rainbow blushed, seeming a little embarrassed. She took a deep breath and said, very quickly while exhaling, “IthinkIlikeTwilightSparkle”. Rainbow slipped quietly to the floor and covered her face with her hooves.
Applejack attempted to at least look calm for rainbow even though on the inside it felt as though part of her had just died. It’s okay, she told herself, Rainbow was talking really fast I probably misheard.
Shakily, she asked Rainbow “would you please repeat that sugar cube, ah… ah don’t think I heard right.
Rainbow groaned and seemed to shrink even more down onto the ground. “I said, I think I like Twilight Sparkle. I mean like like. And I have no idea what to say to her”.
Applejack felt crushed. She wanted to slide down to the floor and hide like Rainbow was doing. But instead she knelt down next to Rainbow and stayed with her until Rainbow looked up at her, her eyes watering. “Ah don’t know what to say to you Rainbow but you have to follow your heart and do what you think is right”. Despite her words applejack just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. But she knew that Rainbow was in bad shape too and she felt a bit better at the thought that of all her friends to tell she had chosen her.
“Ah’m just wonderin’ something… why did you tell me first? Ah mean wouldn’t it make more sense to go to somepony like Rarity first? Heh heh, she would kill to have been the first pony to know this”.
Rainbow groaned again. “Oh no, I’m gonna have to tell Rarity, aren’t I”.
“Well maybe it would be better if she found out from Twilight”, suggested Applejack.
“But… what am I gonna tell her. I don’t even know if she likes mares”. Rainbow paused for a few seconds. “I don’t even know why I like her. We are completely different. She’s an egghead; I am nowhere near as smart as her. She’s a know-it all and she’s annoying and sarcastic and she’s adorable and funny and… grahh”! Rainbow got up and started to stomp around the cave.
Applejack felt like doing the same thing. She wanted to scream. The one pony she had ever cared for like this was smitten with somepony else. Still she knew that she shouldn’t stand in Rainbows way. If she liked Twilight then she deserved to be with her. She would just have to move on.
She looked outside and noticed that the rain had stopped. “Come on sugar cube, let’s go. You go home and I’ll help you talk to Twilight tomorrow”.
Rainbow looked at Applejack gratefully. “Thanks AJ, I don’t know what I would do without you”. Applejack smiled sadly as they hugged.
“Now git on home and ah’ll see you tomorrow.
Rainbow grinned, seemingly back to her old cocky, annoying, insensitive, lovable self. “Thanks AJ, this really meant alot to me. But I was just wondering something…”
“Yes sugarcube? What is it?”
“What is it that you wanted to say? I mean you wanted to say something else but you let me go first. What were you going to say?”
Applejack’s smile wavered. “Nothing important sugarcube. Maybe ah’ll tell you some other time”
Rainbow shrugged, not wanting to make her friend uncomfortable after offering to help her. “Well… thanks. I ‘ll see you tomorrow”. With that Rainbow took off, almost laughing with glee.
Applejack watched as the rainbow-maned pegasus flew off. She waved until she was out of sight and then, with a sigh she put down her hoof.
“Ugh Rainbow”, she moaned. “Why did you have to go and fall for Twilight like that? “Twilight doesn’t even know how lucky she is”.

Rainbow was going to talk to Twilight tomorrow. She tried to resist the urge to squee in delight and failed. Still she had no idea what to she was going to do tomorrow or what she would say or anything. She was terrible at putting her thoughts into words and sometimes it seemed that Applejack knew what she was thinking before Rainbow did. She decided to focus on Applejack’s strange behavior.
Applejack thought she was hiding it well but rainbow knew something was wrong. Applejack just hadn’t quite seemed herself. And then there was the fact that she seemed to be about to say something that seemed quite important to her before Rainbow spoke but was unwilling to talk about after. Could something bad have happened but she didn’t want to ruin the mood? Rainbow had no idea. She shrugged and continued to climb before leveling out at the door to her cloud-house.
Gleefully she hopped into bed and waited for sleep to come. After ten minutes however she was still not asleep. She was very puzzled. Was she not Rainbow Dash, the savant of sleep, the regent of rest, the chief of the catnap? Why couldn’t she sleep? She decided that it was time for drastic measures. She went over to her small bookshelf filled with Daring Do books and one other which looked as though it had never been touched. She picked it up and looked at the dusty cover.

She grinned. She had borrowed this from Rarity a while ago. If this didn’t send her to sleep then nothing would. She crawled back into bed and opened the book on the first page. Within minutes she was sound asleep.