Slendermane Takes Ponyville

by Silent Bob


Your Shameful Convict Slendermane

"What do you mean he's gone?!" Wrath roared, stamping about Zecora's hut like an angry child. "You're kidding me, right?! Cus there's one problem with that: this joke sucks!"

Zecora sighed. "Why does this bother you, dear Wrath? I always thought you two were destined for a blood bath..."

"Mph," he growled. "Doesn't mean I don't care about the stupid jackass, Pride, even if I want to cut his throat half the time..."

Zecora raised an eyebrow, nonchalantly preparing a new potion as he spoke.

"What?! It's complicated!" he snarled.

"I didn't say anything," she peeped.

He ignored her, continuing with: "-The reason why I care about him though is because the forest cares about him. And it's pissed off that it's gone. And how do I know that it's pissed off?"

"No clue," Zecora chuckled. "Do you?"

"RAUUUUUUUGH!.!.!" The living shadow that was Wrath suddenly turned a piercing red, with blue flames licking the air from it. "BECAUSE I'M PISSED OFF!"

Suddenly, two vials filled with blue and red liquid upon a nearby shelf shattered.

Zecora gave Wrath a glare, and with that, he managed to calm down: his shadowy fur changing back to its usual black.

"Why do you blame him so much?" Zecora grunted. "He might have not have done this had you not busted his gut!"

"I was just telling him as it is!" he hissed. "He needs to accept who he is. I can't believe he hasn't realized this yet, but I need him! The forest has never been too fond of ponies, you know. When they mess with it, I get more and more pissed off... and more powerful! I like maiming, wounding, cutting off a limb or two - but I don't want to get pissed off enough that I..."

He shut his mouth.

"Mmmm, I believe I've had the same thought," Zecora sighed. "Perhaps this is why your head is often so... hot."

He grunted. "I mean - I do want to when I'm pissed, but I want to not want to! You know what I mean?!"

Zecora lifted her eyebrows.

He rolled his glowing eyes. "Whatever - just do me a favor and tell me where that dumb bastard is already, will you? Is he in Ponyville? Is that where he is?!"

Zecora didn't answer.

Wrath face-pawed. "Oh, damnit all. He's lucky he can't die easily, or I'd rip the tendrils off of him!"

At that, he began to thump towards the door. Then, without warning, he let loose a vicious, echoing howl.

...

Silence fell.

Zecora lifted an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Shut up."

...

After a moment, few howls were returned.

"There we go," Wrath grinned.

"You still have not answered my question..." Zecora moaned. "Why do you wish to gather your concession?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Wrath snorted. "I'm going to go get that dumb bastard back! I'll show him what happens when you bite the paw that feeds you!"

"You shall do nothing of the sort!.!.!"

Wrath's eyes widened in malice. He twirled about, glaring at a tall, lone silhouette approaching him.

"Hehehe," he cackled, grinning wickedly. "Well look who it is. You shouldn't be here, you know - it's dangerous to play in the woods-"

A pulsating, blue beam of of light blasted from the silhouette, sending Wrath flying backwards and into Zecora's far wall.

"OOF!" he said, before chuckling darkly. "Ohhh hohoho! Now you bucked up! NOW YOU BUCKED UP! YOU HAVE BUCKED UP NOW!.!.! HOOOOOHAHAHAHAHA!.!.!

With a vicious snarl, he got to his paws and charged the figure, Zecora staring at him in awe. He ducked and rolled as another blast sailed over him, careening into the wall he had just hit.

"Hehehe - nice try, but this old dog can still learn new TRICKS!"

The figure was now in sight, its eyes glowing a hot bright as a storm cloud formed above it. He lunged into the air, his shadow-like teeth dripping with ghostly venom, only for -

"ACK!"

Two massive hooves to careen into him, powered by the wings of an alicorn. He slammed into the dirt, letting loose a shriek, and before he could get into his paws this time, two thunderous hooves pinned him to the ground. He thrashed about like a fish out of water, but couldn't get up...

However, after a moment, he actually stopped, grinning yet again. "So - I'm in my rightful place, aren't I, Princess Luna? Underneath your hooves..."

"Be silent or I will get you a muzzle," she hissed.

"Enough of this!" Zecora shouted, storming before the two, before gazing at Princess Luna suspiciously. "You - what are you doing here? I thought our presence you could barely endear."

"I'm doing a favor for an old... friend," she said, glaring at the two.

"Slendermane?!" Wrath howled with laughter. "You're not his friend! You outright rejected him! He only had something going with Nightmare Moon. And by the way - nice job with that. Hell, seems I have better control of my temper than you do - HAHAHAHA!"

Luna gritted her teeth at him, before taking a deep breath. "I am... in control of my temper." With that, she lifted her hooves off him, before taking a step backward.

Wrath quickly got to his pause, narrowing his eyes. "Yeah, of course you are," he grunted. "People don't change, Princess Luna. Believe me - I know."

She narrowed her eyes as well. "Are you so certain? Why do you think I'm helping Slendermane?"

"Helping him?!" he laughed. "What - so you were the one who encouraged him to leave?!"

"Yes, I did," Luna hissed, before sighing slightly.

"Yet, something went wrong, didn't it?" Zecora said, furrowing her brow.

...

"Or am I... '

Luna began to pace. "You are... correct. I used a spell to nullify Slendermane's passive ability to spread fear and-"

"You did WHAT?!" Wrath roared.

Luna ignored him. "-He took off into town: he was so enthusiastic... I couldn't help but let him leave. However, even with that ability gone, his first attempt at contact went... poorly. He now resides within a prison cell..."

"For a princess, you're not the brightest, are you?" Wrath huffed. "Then again, you are the Princess of the Night. Guess your sis' has you beat on all fronts, doesn't she? Did you really think he would have been able to just waltz into town? Of course he wouldn't be able to! Now - the forest is pissed as hell, and it's all your fault, Your Highhorse!"

He gave a mock bow.

Luna's eye twitched.

"This is no time for placing blame," Zecora sighed. "It is partially our fault that Fear has met such a shame." She then furrowed her brow in thought, tapping her chin, before shrugging. "Well, actually, as a matter of face, I'd have to say it's mostly your fault, Wrath."

"I hate you so much," he snarled, before glancing at Princess Luna. "That goes double for you. And even if it was my fault, it doesn't matter: you're the friggin' princess here. Go free his ass somehow."

"That is not my plan," Luna said, narrowing her eyes.

"Then what is your plan?!"

She grunted slightly. "As much as I hate to admit it..." At that, she actually smirked slightly. "For that, I will need your assistance, Wrath."

...

...

"Wat?" he blinked.

She grinned. "Howl for me. Summon thy pack, my child of the night."


A second later, a series of howls echoed yet again from the Everfree Forest. It was now seven in the morning in Ponyville, and the Crusaders were as restless as possible, having been ordered to stay inside the Apple Family House as soon as they woke up. Upon hearing the wolves, they shivered slightly.

"That's the second time this mornin'," Apple Bloom gulped. "The wolves usually don't go callin' round this time. Wonder what's going on in Everfree?"

Sweetie and Scootaloo shrugged, looking worried as well. "Beats me," the latter said. "I just hope they let us out of here sometime today..."

"That's not going to happen," Sweetie grumbled. "Rarity says that fillies and colts are to stay indoors til the Slendermane's done with his trial."

Apple Bloom chuckled, shaking her head. "It's so weird..."

"What is?" Sweetie said, raising an eyebrow.

"Us referrin' to him like he's a person. He ain't a person... he's a monster - right?"

"Yeah - I've been thinking the same thing," Scootaloo said. "I wonder why?"

"Applejack was talkin' a bit about him last night - to granny - heard em' arguing," Apple Bloom stated. "Said there's no physical evidence that Slendermane's ever hurt anyone... granny didn't like hearin' that. I think she's just lookin' for someone to blame for her poor sister goin' missin' all those years back..."

"B-But what about all the stories!" Scootaloo argued. "All the ones Rainbow Dash told us?"

"Mmmm - but remember what happened with Zecora years back?" Sweetie said. "Seems like when ponies' see something they don't understand they kind of - I dunno - make up stories to fill in the blanks, ya know what I mean?"

"Yeah... I see your point," Apple Bloom nodded. "And Slendermane is pretty scary looking, even if..." She then furrowed her brow. "You know - every time we've seen him, yeah I've felt scared - but - he's never done anything to earn it."

"He was about to throw rocks at us, though!" Scootaloo argued. "Remember back in the woods?"

"Why would he throw rocks at us, though?" Sweetie said, lifting an eyebrow. "If he wanted to hurt us, he could have done it with those shadow tentacle things of his."

Apple Bloom chuckled. "Honestly - it sort of seemed like he was juggling those rocks. Maybe he was bored or somethin'?"

"Or- Or wanted to look less intimidating!" Sweetie said.

Apple Bloom's eyes widened. "As a matter of fact - I think I heard Applejack say that he only wanted to come into town to meet people... to experience life outside of the woods. Makes sense he'd take up a few hobbies." She then sighed. "Man - I feel so bad about running from him now..."

"Same here," Sweetie squeaked.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Ugh - this is going where I think this is going, isn't it?" she mumbled. "We're about to break out of here to visit the Slendermane, aren't we? How do we know he isn't playing games?"

"If Applejack says he ain't lyin', he ain't lyin'," Apple Bloom grunted. "Besides, it's the least we can do."

"Well, alright then -" Sweetie chuckled, before throwing a dramatic fist into the air. "Let's go make friends with an Eldrich Abomination!"

...

...

...

Apple Bloom raised her eyebrows. "What in the name of Equestria is an Eldrack Abominitron?"


Slendermane, sighed, sitting bored in his jail cell. The night guard had long since fallen asleep without alerting anyone to take his post, yet the shield was still active. It didn't matter: he didn't seem too spooked by his presence, but he really didn't have much of a desire to talk to him, either.

"Mph... well, Slendermane. You really screwed up this time. How could you think you could just waltz into town and get away from it? Of course there'd be magic you couldn't handle. Stupid purple pony princess with her purple horn and ... huh - I really hate the color purple..."

He gave a moan, cracking his head against the shield. A small flicker of electricity soared through his scalp.

"OUCH! Damn this thing is strong..." He then took a deep breath, glancing towards the floor. "Great... and this isn't even the worst part. Wait until Wrath hears I got locked up like this. It'll take centuries for him to let it go! Pride will probably laugh behind my back, too, maybe even Fluttershy-"

"Hmmm?"

Slendermane glanced up, gasping in shock. There stood Fluttershy in her natural form: her eyes glowing a soft blue, and vines covering her form. She looked like she was part of the forest itself.

"Um - hi, Fear," she squeaked.

Slendermane shook his head in disbelief. "Uh... hello, Fluttershy. Say... - watcha doin' in your true form? Aren't you afraid someone might... see you?"

"Oh um -," she chuckled. "I haven't been walking around like this. I just needed to transform so I could make sure the guard would stay asleep... you know - so we could talk... naturally."

"Ahhh... that pollen of yours, huh?"

She gave a meek nod. "He won't be out for long... and I've set up a few little friends to let me know if anypony's coming."

"Mph," Slendermane grumbled. "Wish I could do that... and change forms at a will."

"I wish you could too," she said sorrowfully.

Slendermane sighed. "Sorry... I'm just a little jealous, is all... you know I could never be mad at you, Kindness. Besides, you're like that one character in the Batmare comic I found - Deadly Ivy or something - only nice."

She smiled slightly. "T-Thanks... I think."

"I'm glad you've warmed up to me, you know... I thought you'd always be afraid of me."

She chuckled softly "It took me a bit, but I got there. I just wished I had the memories of my former lives... it'd speed up the process."

"Mmmm, weird how that works, isn't it?"

"And confusing," she grumbled. "I still don't know exactly who I am..."

"Welcome to the club," Slendermane chuckled. "So uh- no offense, but what are you here for? Trying to bust me out?"

"Um - I would," she squeaked. "But Twilight's magic is really powerful. However... if it's alright with you, I'd like to vouch for your innocence.."

...

Fluttershy glanced at him hopefully.

Slendermane brought a mock tendril to his chin, before shaking his head. "Yeaaaah.... nope."

"W-What?" she squeaked. "Don't you trust me?"

"No... I just don't trust the townsfolk. Like Zecora said, if either you or her vouched for Mr. Menacing Apple Eater then it'd just place suspicion on you. There's no need for you to ruin your life for mine."

Fluttershy gave a huff. "We're kin, though! Like or not - ... you're like a lost brother I've only just found!"

"You're also very different from me, Fluttershy. I'm sorry- but I can't risk-"

He suddenly paused: his tendrils freezing in place.

"W-What?" she said.

Slendermane gulped. "Uhhh... yeah - bout those detector things... ya sure they work, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "They should have-"

He pointed behind her.

Her eyes widened as she twirled about. There stood the three Cutie Mark Crusaders, their jaws dropping at the sight of a spirit of the woods.

"F-Fluttershy?!" Sweetie gasped.

Apple Bloom shook her head, bewildered. "What is this I don't even..."

"Woah - she looks like Deadly Ivy!" Scootaloo beamed.

"Hah! That's what I said!"

Fluttershy merely exhaled, bringing a hoof to her forehead.

...

"Crap."