//------------------------------//
// Decisions, Decisions... 
// Story: Pinkie's Trio of Tales for Tots 
// by Metool Bard 
//------------------------------//

	"Pound, stop *akpth* fidgeting!  You're not making this go any *yeep* faster!"

Although Pinkie Pie recognized the responsibilities of being a babysitter, it didn't make the job any easier.  If anything, Pound and Pumpkin Cake started coming up with new ways to make her life difficult.  At the moment, she was giving the two a bath, and Pound was not all that happy about it.

"Pound, I Pinkie Promise that I won't get soap in your eyes," said Pinkie, struggling with the cup of water and shampoo she held in her hooves while Pound tried to knock them away. "Now just hold still and let me do this."

Her request fell on deaf ears as Pound continued to cry and fidget.

"Look, Pumpkin doesn't mind," said Pinkie. "Here, watch."

With that, she lathered up Pumpkin's coat with suds and dumped the cup of water over her head.  All the while, Pumpkin didn't even make a sound.

"There.  You see?  It's not so bad," said Pinkie sweetly. "Now let me do you."

Pound paused for a moment and looked over at his twin sister.  He then splashed his hooves into the water and stopped resisting.

"There you go," said Pinkie as she proceeded to wash Pound.  Just as she Pinkie Promised, she took great care not to get any soap in his eyes.  And with that, bath time was over.

"There we are.  All squeaky clean," said Pinkie as she dried the foals off. "Doesn't that feel better?"

The twins giggled and cooed.  As soon as they were dry, they darted off to go play.

"Whoa, hang on!" Pinkie called out. "I still need to put on your diapers!"

She was about to chase after them when the doorbell rang.  Pinkie tilted her head.

"Huh.  That can't be Mr. and Mrs. Cake.  They weren't going to be home until late," she mused.

The doorbell rang again.

"Well, only one way to find out, I guess," said Pinkie, trotting past the foals. "Gummy, take over."

Pinkie's pet alligator simply blinked in response to his master's command.

"What do you mean 'What am I supposed to do?'  Just, play with them for a bit," said Pinkie.

Gummy blinked.

"No, we can't switch jobs," said Pinkie, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, they aren't that bad."

Gummy blinked.

"Okay, so Pumpkin accidently turned you purple for a week that one time.  It's just a baby unicorn thing.  She can't help it."

Gummy blinked.

"Yes, I know you hate playing Alligator Tamer with Pound.  Deal with it.  I have to answer the door."

The doorbell rang once again.

"Yes, I'm coming!" Pinkie called out. "Look, Gummy.  It'll just take a minute, so just watch the twins while I take care of this, okay?  Okay."

Without waiting for an acknowledgment, Pinkie trotted over to the front door.

"One of these days, that alligator needs to learn a thing or two about how to be responsible," she muttered to herself as she opened the door.  When she did so, she became perplexed.  Standing before her was an odd-looking creature that was an all-too-familiar mismatch of several different animals.

"Discord?" she said.

"The one and only," said the draconequus with a grin.  He then snapped his fingers, and summoned a pizza box. "Did somepony order a large pizza with all the trimmings?"

Pinkie blinked. "Um, no."

"Well, that's alright.  There's nothing in the box, anyway," said Discord.  He opened the box to demonstrate his point, but found that there was a large pumpkin pie inside. "Except for that, which completely ruined my joke.  And yet, it's still funny."

Pinkie stifled a laugh. "I-I actually wasn't expecting you."

"Well of course not, Pinkie Pie," said Discord. "Nopony expects Discord, the Master of Chaos!  My chief weapon is chaos, chaos and...  Actually, that's about it."

Pinkie forced down the urge to laugh again. "Wh-what are you doing here, Discord?"

"Just thought I'd drop by," said Discord as he began eating the pizza box while somehow leaving the pumpkin pie intact. "You see, I was wondering if you were interested in doing a bit of brainstorming."

"Brainstorming?"

"Yes.  For the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe."

Pinkie's eyes went wide, and a large grin formed on her face.  The Fourth Wall Theater Troupe was a pet project that she and Discord put together some time after his reformation.  Discord would find random stories, and Pinkie would reinterpret them for a pony audience.  It had been a while since their debut performance in Canterlot, and Pinkie was itching for another chance to get back into the director's saddle.

"Oh, I see.  That sounds fun!" she said.

"I thought you would like it," said Discord with a grin as he turned the pumpkin pie into a pair of broken reading glasses. "Now then, I have plenty of great stories to choose from, and I'm sure at least ten of them would..."

"But, I'm afraid I have other plans."

Discord took off his glasses and gave Pinkie an odd look. "Other plans?"

"Yeah.  Mr. and Mrs. Cake are out on an important errand in Trottingham, and I'm supposed to be watching the twins while they're gone," said Pinkie.

Discord smirked. "My my.  Sounds quite interesting.  You mind if I watch?  Babies have a very unique brand of chaos that I particularly enjoy; mainly because they can get away with anything.  Heh, lucky kids."

Pinkie sighed. "I dunno, Discord.  Knowing you, you'd probably find some way to make this job more frustrating than it already is."

"Hmmhmmhmm.  Guilty as charged," said Discord with a chuckle. "But honestly, Pinkie.  I've been looking forward to this ever since our debut in Canterlot."

"I have too, but I've got some real responsibilities here," said Pinkie. "We'll just have to reschedule for another time."

Discord raised an eyebrow. "Reschedule," he parroted.

"Yeah, reschedule.  I mean, I'm not great with keeping schedules myself, but I'll certainly make a note of this," said Pinkie with a shrug. "Why?  Is there a problem?"

Discord drew in a sharp breath through his teeth. "Well, it's like this.  Schedules imply order.  I am the Master of Chaos.  I don't feel like I need to draw you a picture here, but I'm going to anyway because I can."

With that, he summoned an easel and paintbrush and drew out a crude painting showing that Discord did not equal scheduling.  Pinkie placed a hoof to her muzzle.

"Hmm.  I see your point," she mused. "But that doesn't change the fact that tonight's not a good night for this.  I have to watch Pound and Pumpkin."

"Well, how about a compromise?" suggested Discord. "I'll create another you, and one Pinkie will watch the twins while the other..."

Pinkie went as white as a sheet. "NO!" she shrieked, cutting across Discord. "Nononononono~!  No clones!  I don't want clones!"

"What do you have against clones?" inquired Discord.

"Tried it before.  Didn't work," said Pinkie breathlessly.

Discord stared blankly at Pinkie Pie. "You, tried it before."

"Yes."

"You cloned yourself, which most likely caused all sorts of havoc across Equestria."

"It was just Ponyville, but yes."

"And you didn't invite me, why?  I would've brought the chocolate rain and whipped cream."

Pinkie gave Discord a look. "One, you were still a statue at the time.  Two, even if you weren't, the situation was bad enough without your help.  I had to watch paint dry in order to keep myself from being banished to the Mirror Pond forever!  Do you know how not fun that is?!"

"Speaking as a draconequus who had to stare at the same hedge ever since you and your friends stopped my return, yes," said Discord plainly.

Pinkie had no response to that. "Look, Discord.  It's not that I don't want to brainstorm with you.  I bet we can come up with some very fun ideas!  It's just that Mr. and Mrs. Cake are counting on me to look after the twins, and..."

She trailed off as the wheels in her head began to turn. "Discord, what time is it?"

Discord looked at his wrist, where a watch had magically appeared. "I have half past eight.  Why?"

Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. "In the immortal words of my friend Rarity: Idea~!"

When she quoted Rarity, her voice mysteriously changed to an uncanny copy of the unicorn fashionista.  She clasped her hooves over her mouth in surprise while Discord chortled.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," he said between chuckles. "Besides, you set yourself up for that one."

Pinkie giggled a bit, still having Rarity's voice. "I-I guess it's a little funny," said she. "But seriously, could you change me back?  I'm not Bon-Bon, y'know."

"Alright, alright," said Discord with a snap of his fingers. "Sheesh, it truly is a sad day when you of all ponies have to play the straight mare."

Pinkie ignored the comment and cleared her throat. "Anyway, I think I found a way do the brainstorming session tonight without neglecting my responsibilities."

"Oh, really?" said Discord.

"Yep.  It'll be easy-peasy, hoof-in-the-breezy," said Pinkie. "So, you got those stories you mentioned?"

"Well, of course."

"Mind if I see 'em?"

Discord snapped his fingers, and a second later, Pinkie was buried under a pile of books of all shapes and sizes.  She began digging her way out as she sifted through the books.

"Let's see.  No.  No.  Oh, goodness no.  Too complicated.  Too simple.  Eh, maybe when they're older," she said as she tossed aside book after book.  Finally, she found one that she deemed to be just right. "Ah, perfect!"

"Perfect for what?" asked Discord.

"You'll see," said Pinkie with a grin. "Come on in, but try not to spook the twins, alright?"

"Very well," said Discord with a shrug.


***


Pinkie led Discord to the twins' room, where they were playing with Gummy.  Discord quickly turned himself into a stuffed animal as Pinkie cleared her throat to get the foals' attention.

"Hey there, you two," she said. "All ready for bed?"

Pound and Pumpkin answered by running off and zipping around the room.  Pinkie sighed and ran after them.  After a bit of a chase which Discord watched with great interest, she caught the two of them and placed them in the crib.

"Okay, you two.  I can take a hint," she said with a sly smile as she tucked the twins in. "How about I read you two some bedtime stories?  Will you go to sleep for your friend Pinkie-Winkey then?"

The twins giggled and cooed in approval.  The stuffed Discord seemed to roll his eyes.

"Hush, you," Pinkie hissed at Discord before turning back to the twins. "Now, I have three stories here that I know you're gonna love.  I should know, 'cause I came up with them just now!  So, without further ado, let's start our first story..."