A Dash of Shyness

by TM2 Dinobot


Chapter IX

Chapter IX

The room was silent and dim. Only a single candle remained lit, illuminating the falling snow through the window. Dash had never been in the room before, but she knew instinctively that she did not want to go in. It wasn’t a good place. Whenever she had to go to the veterinary practice she always got shots. And those nurses only looked at foals! She had no idea what nurses did to big ponies.
Swallowing loudly, Rainbow Dash held her head high and walked into the room, the door swinging shut behind her. The din was so silent that Dash just knew the pounding in her chest would bring the entire hospital staff down on her for making such a ruckus.
She waited a few beats, listening. There were no Earth pony machines, no roar of fans. Just the sprinkling of snow outside and the hushed, labored breathing of the one she loved so dear. There was nothing else to do but continue. She was Rainbow Dash; she sure as hay wasn’t going to turn tail and run.
The object of her love and desire lay folded onto the only item of bed in the entire room. Firefly dozed on extra soft clouds, her breathing shallow. Dash didn’t know what had been going on.
When they arrived at the hospital the doctors told her father that Firefly was already in something called 'surgery.' The stitches that had taken her daddy two hours to finish took her mother three times as long. Dash and Fluttershy had both had a long nap since then, and the nurses gave them both fresh fruits and hot coco. So if all that had happened already, why was her mother still asleep?
Slowly making her way forward, Rainbow stopped at the edge of the bed as the nurse had instructed. This wouldn’t do; she couldn’t see her mother clearly, couldn’t feel her warmth. Glancing back at the door, Dash decided to risk it, climbing onto the bed. She folded herself down neatly next to Firefly, giving her cheek a lick and a nuzzle. Firefly stirred.

“Mommy?” Dash asked hopefully.

“Hello, my love.”

That was her mother’s voice, but it wasn’t the same, even since that morning. Somehow, all the fire that lent itself to her name was missing. Dash promised herself that she and Fluttershy would go find it again.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes dear, I’m fine.” As if to prove a point, Firefly spread her wing and draped it across her daughter. A lone feather fell out.

Firefly did not look all right, however. Her haunches were all bandaged up, including her shoulders and part of the base of her wings. One of the swatches above her Cutie Mark looked like some blood was seeping through underneath. On top of all that, patches of fur and feathers were missing, and not just from the fight.

“You don’t sound alright.” Dash curled her lip, a skeptical look planted on her face.

Firefly breathed oddly. Was that a giggle? “Yes, I’m fine. The doctors just gave me some medicine that makes me sleepy.”

“Oh.” Dash thought. No, that didn’t make sense. “Does the medicine also make your fur fall out?”

“Where’s your father?” Firefly changed the subject.

“Out in the hallway with Fluttershy.”

“Ah.” The older mare watched the door.

“How did you find us?” Dash still couldn’t figure that out.

“You two left school without permission. You shouldn't do that, Dashie. Not even on a weekend. A lot of ponies saw you do it too. The school called us and I remembered you asked me to fly you into the city. Your father's friends and I started looking there.”

“Oh.” Dash looked down.

“Looks like we were just in time too. If I hadn’t hit those thugs with my Buccaneer Blaze… I thought you were smarter than that, Dash.”

“I am smarter than that. I think.” A funny look crossed Dash’s face.

“So? What happened?” Her mother asked.

Dash relayed the story; all of it. It came spilling forth without stop. She hadn’t seen her mother in weeks, and desperately wanted to share new wondrous things with her. Dash told about her nightly flights with Fluttershy, and her history paper. She explained how she and Fluttershy split their homework, and watched out for each other in the halls. She replayed stories about the bullies, and the teachers, and Ace.
Then she got to that morning, and Dash explained in great detail how Fluttershy was her best friend and her mother just shouldn’t be angry with her. She'd been sitting there after her call, watching Airball with Fluttershy. Then something broke with Fluttershy's wings, and she made her embarrassing, silly confession of a crush. Then Fluttershy flew away, and Dash just had to chase her. She had a pair of broken wings, after all. What would happen if she got half way to Cloudsdale and they gave out? Fluttershy could barely fly as it was.
Firefly, for her part, enjoyed her daughter’s renewed energy, nodding in agreement even when the conversational track went array. Then Dash explained about chasing after Fluttershy, and how her mother should just be so proud of her, because she didn't want to go but it was the right thing to do. The trip was so hard, but she made it by herself. Her mother fell deathly silent as Dash relayed the adventure, barely daring to breath, lest she change the past, killing her filly. As Dash wound down, so did her mother, the anxiety riding on both of them for the last twelve hours suddenly dissipating.

“And then the nurse let me and Fluttershy sleep in the same bed, which Fluttershy said she’d never done before, and neither had I. And then we had dinner, or I guess breakfast cause I've never been up this late before. And then I had a talk with Daddy after the doctors were done with him.”

“What did he say?” Firefly could guess.

“I told him what I told you, about chasing after Fluttershy. He just stared at me and said a good soldier leaves no pony behind. And then he actually saluted me!” Rainbow Dash beamed.

“Hah!” Firefly could just imagine Sky Striker’s face.

“And then he told me to come see you, because he had to talk with Fluttershy. Is she in trouble? I think it might be because of her broken wings.” Dash whispered.

“No, she’s not in trouble.” Firefly sighed, thinking about how to approach this. Now while she still could. “Rainbow Dash, do you remember when you first started flying? How you had growing pains in your wings?”

“Yeah.” Dash cringed.

“Well, as young fillies grow older, their bodies start changing, kind of like the growing pains. As you start to become a young mare, things happen. One of those are when your wings pop out and you can’t stop them.”

“Like a wing boner?” Dash asked innocently.

“Where did you hear that?” Firefly couldn’t believe what had just come out of her daughter’s mouth.

“Some of the colts from school were saying it.”

“Well don’t. It’s a disgusting phrase. What it’s actually called is Alatus Mentula.”

“What’s Alatus Mentula mean?”

Firefly sighed. “‘Wing Boner’.”

“Oh.” Dash didn’t get it.

“Okay, look. Your wings are not just used for flying. They’re much more expressive. You can show that you’re happy or sad or lonely, just by using your wings.” Firefly demonstrated, making her daughter laugh. “It is part of how Pegasi communicate with one another. They're also sensitive. I lock wings with your father when we go for a walk, or he wraps you up tight in a hug. I'll sometimes nibble his wing tips and it... tickles."

"I tried that with Fluttershy." Dash supplied helpfully.

"Don't do that." Firefly said flatly.

"Why not?"

"Because its not the same thing. I'm sure she doesn't appreciate it."

"Why not?"

"Dash!" Firefly snapped, coughing. Rainbow put a hoof on her mother's. "How do I explain this? Wings are universally expressive among all flying creatures, for happiness or shock or pleasure. Other winged creatures get Alatus Mentula as well, like Gargoyles and Griffons. Those bird brains are a bit too up tight to show it though.”

“So if it’s just like smiling, why is it a big deal?”

“Because of when it happens. It hits at puberty when your hormone production is at its highest. Any heightened emotion will make them pop: fear, surprise, shock, attraction. They aren’t used for intimacy exactly, but that is where the term ‘wing-mate’ comes from. So if you like some pony, it could happen. And because colts and fillies can be incredibly cruel, if it happens for any reason at all, they'll tease you that you have a crush on some pony. It’s no fun at all.”

“Did that happen to you?”

“All the time, kiddo.” Firefly nodded.

“So why are they teasing Fluttershy? She’s so nice.” Dash defended her friend. It made her mother’s heart warm.

“Fluttershy is a very beautiful filly, and since she's older her wings are coming in a little sooner and larger than any other ponies like her. It makes the other girls jealous and the boys want to touch them.”

“Eww.” Dash stuck her tongue out.

“You just keep thinking that honey, every time a colt wants to lock wings with you.” Firefly smiled. “But Fluttershy is very shy, and the school yard event was probably very traumatic for her. She’s going to be teased for sure.”

“I’ll stick up for her.” Dash was wound up just thinking about it.

“I’m sure you will.”

“So why don’t I get them?”

“You used to pop your wings every time I’d play peek-a-boo with you as a foal. But really you’re a little too young, and they’re not large enough to be that expressive. It’ll happen soon enough though.”

“How long does it last?” Dash was becoming a little freaked out.

“It can last though your 20’s. You could just be standing there one day, and a pink pony could jump out dressed in some flamboyant costume about to sing a song, and there’s nothing you can do about it because out they come!” She tugged on her daughter’s wings.

“MoooOOOooom!” Dash giggled. Firefly laughed along with her. “This all sounds kinda gross though.”

“It’s all part of growing up. Just wait till I tell you about going through heat sometime.”

“Doing what?” Dash was lost again.

“Never mind.” Firefly smiled.

She snuggled with her daughter, remembering not that long ago they’d lain like this in her new room, and Dash had admitted that she was scared. Now Firefly tried desperately to express those words to her own daughter. She was scared. There were so many conversations left that they were never going to have, so many flights that were being cut short. Too many mother-daughter moments like this that would now never some.
It was time, Firefly knew, and there was no flying around it any longer. Drawing a shuddering breath, she looked into her daughter’s eyes, the child that carried so much of her own personality and heart.

“Rainbow Dash? I have something I have to tell you, and I need you to be brave.”

“Yes, mom?”

“Dashie, I have cancer.”

“You have what?” That sinking feeling in her stomach was back.

“I’m very sick.” Firefly sighed. Why couldn’t this be easy?

“But you're going to get better, right?” Dash’s head was reeling.

“That’s what the doctors are trying to do, but it doesn’t look good. I’ve been sick for a long time.”

“Is that why your hair and feathers are falling out?”

“No, that’s the medicine the doctors are giving me. They’re trying to stop the disease.”

Dash was beginning to see the larger picture. She thought for a moment, giving her mother a short reprieve. The next words truly and utterly broke her.

“It’s not working, is it?”

"No." The words locked behind her teeth like a bit. There was no way she could leave Skystriker to do this by himself. Dashie needed her.

“You’re going to die, aren’t you?” The silent head nod tore both of their hearts out. Dash uselessly fought against the tears. “I’m not going to get sick, am I?” she barely dared to whisper the forbidden question haunting her mind.

“Oh, Dashie, no. Praise Celestia, no.” Firefly hugged her as tightly as possible. It wasn’t very tight.

“How long?” Dash supposed that was the only question that mattered now.

“A few months, probably. Maybe more, maybe less.”

“Promise that you’ll see me fly at the graduation ceremony.” Dash demanded.

“Oh, Dashie.” Firefly closed her eyes. “This world is so much larger, and so much meander, and so much more frightening, and so much better than anything you can ever imagine. I was the best flyer in Equestria before I even graduated school. I found a wing-mate who took me to lands that I’d never dreamed I’d see, and married the same wonderful stallion that gave me the greatest adventure ever. You are my treasure beyond anything, and you are my greatest adventure of all time.”

“But… I don’t want you to go!” How much simpler could Dash make it than that?

“Oh, Rainbow Dash. Just as one generation yields to the next, I have to set so that you can rise. But I am not leaving you. I will be with you always, pushing you to greater heights, and pulling you towards the future that is more magical than anything I will ever see.”

“I don’t want to be greater than you! You’re the best pony ever! I just want to stay in your shadow.”

Dash was quickly exhausting her mother’s already wearied spirits. How could Firefly explain this in a way that her daughter would accept? Then again, maybe Dash didn’t have to accept things the way they were. That would give her the courage and drive to change things. Maybe it wasn’t enough to know that things simply were; she needed to know why they were.

“We don’t always get what we want, Dash.”

“But I thought that was your job?”

Such a hearty laugh coming from Firefly’s weakened form stopped Dash cold. Her tears slowly dried on her face, staring up at her mother in confusion. Had she gone mad?

“I want to tell you a story.” Firefly smiled.

“What kind of story?” Dash asked skeptically. Usually books were boring, but stories could be cool.

“The story of a princess, a dragon, and a quest.”

As Firefly regaled her daughter with tales of her last great adventure, an extra set of ears listened in intently. The hallway was noisy, and dangerous. The only safe place was the bench against the wall, but even from there she could hear the shouts that had drawn her to the door. And as Fluttershy listened to her best friend speaking with her mother, great tears of pain flowed down Fluttershy’s face, reopened by a wound she had thought salved by friendship. Rainbow Dash’s mother was going to die.

Just like Fluttershy’s.