A Monument to Fashion
Part 4
The air over Ponyville was calm, clear and still, a relief for Fluttershy who was struggling to keep up with the ever-speedy Rainbow Dash even as the other pegasus struggled to rein in her speed and not leave Fluttershy in a cloud of dust. Fluttershy was a weak flyer at the best of times, but she was determined to try and keep up as best she could, trying not to think too much about just how far it was down to the safety of the ground.
At first they flew silently together, Rainbow’s gaze fixed rigidly towards the horizon, her ears angled back as she brooded over how her quiet morning of napping and relaxing had suddenly spiralled into something so much less awesome.
“You don’t really think Trixie could have done something mean to Rarity, do you?” Fluttershy asked. “I mean, I don’t think she would...” She trailed off as Dash turned to glare at her from under the fringe of her technicolour mane. “Nevermind. It was just my opinion and I mean nopony should ever really pay much attention to menevermindIsaidanything...” Her voice got both quieter and quicker as she went on till it ended in a high-pitched squeak and a quick look off to the side.
Dash didn’t say anything at first, the silence stretching out not entirely comfortably between the two friends. “Maybe.” She grunted. “Maybe not. She’s certainly got a grudge against Twilight after we sent her running from here with her tail between her legs. She might have decided that Twilight was too tough for her to take straight on and gone after Rarity instead.” Dash snorted loudly, “Trixie and that huge ego of hers. She got what was coming to her! Served her right for bringing an Ursa to town!”
“Well, uhm, technically SHE didn’t do it, it was Snips and… I’m just going to be quiet now.” She squeaked as Dash glared at her again. “You’re, uhm… We’re just going to talk to Trixie, right?” She ventured. “Just talking. No hitting. No shouting. Talking.”
“Oh yeah, I’ll talk to her alright. But if I don’t like what she’s got to say then…” Dash trailed off, her jaw set in a stubborn line, her tail giving an irritated flick.
“Then what?”
“Then we might have to get a bit more persuasive.”
“Like offering her cookies and cake if she tells us if she had anything to do with Rarity going missing?” Fluttershy asked hopefully. “Treating her to a spa day if she’s helpful as a thank you from everyone?”
“No!” Dash screeched to a halt midair, forcing the yellow pegasus to swerve around her with a frantic squeak before she ploughed into a cloud and came to a stop with her rump and hindlegs stuck in the cloud, wings fluttering helplessly for a moment before she gave up and just watched Dash working herself up into a proper rage. “If she had anything to do with Rarity going missing, or if I even THINK she had anything to do with Rarity going missing, then I’m going to make her regret the day she ever heard the name Ponyville!”
“RAINBOW MIRIAM DASH!” Fluttershy’s voice was suddenly cold and hard, the little pegasus breaking free of the cloud and all but forcing Dash to back up in surprise, her forehooves lifting reflexively to protect herself as the normally timid and diffident pegasus unleashed the full force of The Stare that had been known to cow dragons and cockatrices into trembling, whimpering obedience. “We don’t know that Trixie had ANYTHING to do with what’s going on with Rarity! You won’t accomplish anything by blustering and threatening! You promise me you’ll be nice to her and not just a big bully!” She blinked, the moment passing as quickly as it had come, her head ducking, mane hiding her features away once again. “I mean, if that’s okay. Not if it’s going to be a problem, I mean… Uhm… Oh dear.”
Rainbow sighed, rubbing her hoof over her muzzle. “Geeze, Flutters. Okay. I’ll be nice till we know if she had anything to do with it. But if she DID…”
“Then kick her butt!”
The statement was so unexpected that Rainbow forgot to beat her wings for a second or two and started to drop before she recovered and popped back up with a sharp bark of laughter. “Now that’s more like it!” She crowed, grabbing Fluttershy and giving her a noogie right between her ears. “Glad we’re on the same page, now let’s get going! AJ and Pinkie must have spoken to the Crusaders by now and learned they had nothing to do with it.”
“They didn’t?” Fluttershy peeped. “You sound really sure about that.”
“Oh come on. First off, so totally not Scootaloo’s thing. Or Applebloom’s for that matter. Sweetie Belle maybe, but it just doesn’t really seem her style. She loves Rarity too much. Buck it, everyone in town loves Rarity, as prissy as she can be. There’s no-one in Ponyville would ever do anything to her so that leaves someone who’s not a local and wouldn’t you know it, Trixie just happened to be nearby when Rarity just happened to go missing.”
“Coincidences do happen, though.” Fluttershy points out. “Look at how often Twilight gets herself all worked up over nothing. Uhm, you won’t tell her I said that, right? I just meant that sometimes everypony does sort of rush off to the wrong conclusion.”
Dash grunted in reply. “There she is.” Was all she had to say as she suddenly swooped down low, skimming over the trees before she came to a neat stop on the grass along the distinctive shape of the Great and Powerful Trixie’s wooden caravan. The paint was flecked and faded, the wood holed here and there. It seemed the fates hadn’t been entirely kind to the showmare after her last visit to Ponyville. Potential motive for her to hate Twilight enough to try and hurt her? To hurt her friends? Dash’s face hardened even as Fluttershy looked all the more nervous as she came in to land rather more tentatively beside her.
“Trixie!” Dash yelled. “Get your plot out here! We need to talk!”
Fluttershy facehoofed and shook her head in dismay. Not the most diplomatic approach she’d ever heard, though she was sure Iron Will would be proud of just how, uhm, assertive the blue pegasus was being.
“Trixie!” Dash thumped on the door with a forehoof. “We know you’re in there! Get your plot outside, I said!”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not DO requests, Rainbow Dash.” A familiar voice came, not from inside the caravan, but from behind the pair. They whirled around to see Trixie emerging from the trees, carrying a bag with the unmistakeable logo of Sugarcube Corner on it, “Can a mare not eat her breakfast in peace without somepony demanding their attention?” She absently took a bite of a muffin she was carrying in front of her with her magic, taking her time to swallow the mouthful before she said anything else. “Now. Can you explain why you felt the need to bother Trixie at this time of the morning?”
“Well, uhm, that is, I…” Fluttershy stammered out the words.
“What did you do to Rarity?” Dash spat, dropping into an angry crouch, as if ready to pounce at Trixie if she didn’t like what the showmare had to say.
“Do? To Rarity? Ah yes, the dressmaker.” Her voice dripped contempt. “Why in the wide world of Equestria would Trixie DO anything to her? The crimes she commits against fashion aside, she has done nothing to bring the terrible wrath of Trixie down upon her.” She took another bite of her muffin, only for Dash to knock it aside with a quick flick of her wing, sending it spinning off into the undergrowth.
“Oh dear. Uhm, Rainbow…?” Fluttershy whispered. “That wasn’t very nice. Trixie just said she had nothing to do with it.”
“Oh right, and of course Trixie’s shown she’s SO good at telling ponies the truth, hasn’t she?” Rainbow spat even as Trixie’s expression darkened, the unicorn’s horn beginning to glow as she gathered her magic.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie resents the implication that she is a liar, Rainbow Dash. If you were to apologise immediately and replace her breakfast, she might be willing to overlook your rudeness.”
“Oh yeah? Well I’m NOT willing to overlook your FACE.” Dash retorted. There was a moment of stunned silence as Trixie just stared at her and Fluttershy once again had to resist the urge to slap a hoof to her face.
“How DARE you?” Trixie yelled, “Begone from here at once, you insolent whelp before Trixie sends both you and your cowering yellow friend home to Ponyville with your wings stuck so far up your plot you’ll need a-“
“What the hay is going on out here, Trixie? Can’t a mare get some slee-Dash? Fluttershy? What’re you two doing here?” A new voice suddenly interrupted the argument before it could escalate any further. The door to the back of the caravan had been pushed open and much to Dash and Fluttershy’s amazement, Berry Punch was standing there with a confused look on her face.
“Berry, oh, uhm… We were just…” Fluttershy stammered.
“Trixie brought breakfast, as she promised.” The showmare interrupted, levitating the bag over to her. Berry accepted it with a grateful smile before turning her attention back to the pair.
“So… What are you two doing here exactly? What is it Trixie’s supposed to have done?”
“Trixie has no idea. These two showed up and started throwing accusations before Trixie could even gather her thoughts. Apparently something has happened to the dressmaker, so obviously Trixie must be at fault. After all, Trixie just happened to be in the neighbourhood so that immediately means she is guilty.”
Berry blinked. “Wait, something’s happened to Rarity? What’s going on?”
“Rarity’s gone missing.” Dash finally managed to get the words out. “No-one’s seen her today and there’s this weird tomb thing floating on the river behind the Boutique, a tomb to her. We thought maybe someone might have… Y’know…” She drew her hoof across her neck with an appropriately gruesome noise that had Fluttershy burying her face down against the grass.
“Right. So, let me get this straight. In a town where we have Changeling invasions, the semi-regular returns of Gods of Chaos and Nightmare, Twilight exploding stuff, Spike’s occasional rampage, parasprite invasions, cockatrices, dragons and timber wolves you immediately decided that Trixie must be to blame for what’s happened?” Berry had a reputation as the town lush, a little too fond of the wines that she sold every day, but right now her voice and her face were cold, annoyed and oh so very sober. “And exactly when is Trixie supposed to have committed this particular act of nefariousness?”
“Uhm, we think it was last night.” Fluttershy stepped in before while Dash struggled to restrain her temper enough to get any more words out. “Derpy found the m-mausoleum floating on the river this morning.”
“Well then.” Said Berry firmly, “It couldn’t have been Trixie. She and I were together all night.”
There was a long, awkward silence. Somewhere in the distance a bird tweeted, then fell silent. Berry stared challengingly at Dash, who stared open-mouthed at Trixie, who had her tail tucked firmly up against her rump as she glared at Berry from beneath the rim of her tall, pointed hat. Fluttershy tried her best not to look at anyone and instead thought very long and hard about fluffy kittens and cutsie, wootsie bunnies.
“Together. All night. As in “together” together?” Dash had finally found her voice. “As in, er…”
“Yes, Dash, as in together-together. As in bumper to bumper, making scissors, eating her muffin, tasting her honey, licking carpet, mashing our mounds to-“ There was a sudden flash of magic and before Berry could utter another syllable, a bucket had dropped firmly down onto her head to silence her.
“BERRY PUNCH!” Trixie finally managed to squeak out as the glow faded from her horn. “Trixie will thank you not to go any further! Trixie thinks even Rainbow Dash gets the message quite loud and clear.”
“Oh yeah. Got it. Never wanted it. Might need to wash my ears out, and my eyes, and my brain.” The rainbow-maned pegasus looked a little unwell. “Wow, Berry. Never figgered you for a fillyfooler.”
Berry was busy pulling the bucket off her head, finally tossing it aside and shooting Trixie an annoyed glare. “Yeah, well, since when did you care what I did or who I did it with, Dash?” She growled. “Who I fool around with has nothing to do with you, and I can assure you that Trixie never once left this caravan last night.”
“Well…” Dash blustered, trying to regain the offensive. “What about this morning? Maybe she got up before you did and went to take care of Rarity!”
Berry just gave all three of the mares a slow, languid smile. “Oh trust me, honey. When I was done with Trixie, she wasn’t going anywhere for a long old OH COME ON!” She managed to blurt out before another bucket landed over her head with a solid thump.
Trixie cleared her throat. “Regardless of whatever you may think of Trixie, Rainbow Dash, she, that is I, had nothing to do with whatever has befallen the dressmaker. Berry may have put it somewhat more crudely than I would, but I have been here all morning. I only just left the caravan to fetch us something to eat. You may call me a liar if you wish, but I am not sure Berry would appreciate you calling her the same.” She paused a moment to levitate the second bucket back off of Berry’s head, giving the glaring mare an apologetic little smile.
“Well, I… I guess you’re off the hook, Trixie.” Dash growled, the words like poison in her mouth. She’d been so sure this had been some trick to get back at them, something to wind them up, but as soon as they called her on it she’d have to bring Rarity back. If it wasn’t her, if the Crusaders hadn’t done it, then that left a number of increasingly unpleasant alternatives. “C’mon, Fluttershy. Let’s get back to the library. AJ and Pinkie should be back by now, we can see if any of them had any more luck.” And without another word, she shot up and into the air, leaving only a rainbow coloured blur in her wake.
“Sorry to have, uhm, woken you up, Berry.” Fluttershy apologised. “Er, I hope you and Trixie are very happy together.” She didn’t wait for a reply, hurrying after Rainbow as quickly as she could.
The two mares watched them go, Trixie reaching over to help herself to another muffin from the bag. “Should someone explain “friends with benefits” to that mare?” Berry asked.
“Trixie says “not it”.”
“Nor me.” Berry sighed and turned to nuzzle Trixie’s cheek. “Of course, one of those benefits just happens to be breakfast in bed. C’mon, Trixie. I’ve got another muffin you can try.” She stepped back indoors, pausing only to cast a salacious look back over her shoulder, giving her rump a playful little wriggle as she sauntered back inside.
“Trixie is quite happy with the one she-“ She broke off as she actually took a moment to think over what her companion had said, eyes widening as her brain caught up.”Oh. Oh yes. Trixie would like that very much.” And with cheeks burning red, she hurried into the caravan and shut the door behind them.