Twilight tossed and turned in her sleep restlessly. For the second time that night, she’d had the same nightmare. The nightmares had been continuing over the past week, and it was really starting to cut into Twilight’s ability to focus and work. It was, the dark dream about... the Gnomes.
Always the Gnomes.
Just as soon as the unicorn would fall asleep, she would suddenly find herself in some kind of weird garden, surrounded by wilted rose bushes and bizarre versions of weeping willow trees. The sky was a grim dark grey, as if a thunderstorm were coming.
And yet, there were no Pegasi to be seen anywhere.
The gnarled branches of the trees would always reach down towards her like menacing fingers as the wind blew through them. The creepiness of it would always startle her enough until she broke out into a gallop down the narrow cobblestone path. As the wind would pick up, Twilight would start to hear an ominous, demented-sounding laugh echoing all around her.
Her ears falling flat on her head nervously, she would always increase her speed, attempting to get away from whatever it was that was laughing at her.
The laughing voice always stopped as soon as Twilight tripped over a rock or a tree root. Every time she would look up, there was always a random iron gate in front of her. Without explanation, she would always feel an irresistible urge to open it and go through.
When she did so, Twilight would find herself in the middle of a gazebo flanked by more of the creepy trees. Situated in the central area of the gazebo were two marble tables. The contents on the top of both creeped the poor unicorn out to no end. All across the tables, from end to end, were gnomes.
At least fifty of the pointy-hatted, bearded little men stared at her with rather innocent, neutral facial expressions. But never for long.
Looking in between the two tables, Twilight would typically find a large pedestal. And on the pedestal, was an ugly stone gargoyle. Again, without explanation, Twilight would always feel the unnatural urge to approach the ugly statue.
Every time, she would touch it with her hoof, and it’s eyes would start to glow bright white.
In a thick accent, the Gargoyle would speak, “Eh, you again hmm? Aren’t ya getting tired of these buggers, ya do know I could shut em’ all up fer ya if you’d just give me the say so lassie?”
Twilight would reel back in shock, not expecting the statue to talk. Yet, the gargoyle would always act as if it had seen and encountered her before in the past.
Without warning, a second, far more malicious voice would always sound out from behind her. “Oh shut it, you blighter!”
“Yeah, you ain’t cuttin’ into our fun, harassing ponies is waaaayyy more fun than having to constantly listen to you whine about how the old ninny Hero of Bowerstone killed your ugly friends!” A second, similar sounding voice would add.
The gargoyle statue would then say, “I’ll have ta remember that ya said that, ya rotten little pointy-hatted freaks! Say... ma magic brought ya’ll ta live, I could easily just decide ta...”
Another gnome would then cut in. “Boring! ... Let’s go out and find blokes to terrorize.”
When Twilight finally turned away from the gargoyle to look at the gnomes again, they had changed radically from before.
Rather than resembling pleasant, old little men with fine white beards and cute little hats, they instead had become a true creep show. Their mouths were set in toothy, hungry-looking, evil grins of razor sharp teeth. In addition, their beards were now scraggly and wild, and their eyes glowed like the gargoyle’s.
Then, much to Twilight’s horror, they would start singing.
In the morning when I wake up and I stumble out of bed,
I put my pointy hat on my little pointy head.
And it doesn't much matter if the sky is rain or shine,
Because a gnome is a happy fellow almost all the time!
I said a gnome is a happy fellow almost all the time!
We said a gnome is a happy fellow almost all the time!!
The unicorn would try and yell at them to stop their chorus, but she would find that her tongue refused to move, and her jaws would not open. To her even greater horror, she discovers that she can’t even move her legs. All she had command of was her neck and eyes, allowing her to stare at the ever grinning little gnomes, who continued their ditty.
Oh I travel round the land and wherever I roam,
From the mountains in the distance to the meadows back at home,
I raise my hand and say in a loud resounding voice,
Being a gnome is awfully nice!!!
The song was now ringing in her mind. Twilight tried to blot it out, but it kept finding it’s way in.
All the gnomes on the right say "pointy little hat"!!
Pointy little hat!
Pointy little hat!
And all the gnomes on the left say "two foot tall"!!
Two foot tall!
Two foot tall!
And again lads!!
Excruciatingly, the song repeated, not once, but two more times. With the repeat of each stanza, the maniacal laughter that echoed all around came back, and with greater intensity. Poor Twilight could have sworn she was going to go mad.
Just when it all started to become too unbearable, that’s when the gargoyle would shout.
“THE GNOMES ARE COMING! I CANT STOP THEM! RUN, RUN YA DAFT WANKER!”
Twilight would then discover she regained her ability to move, and quickly got the hell out of there. As she galloped down the cobblestone path in panic, she hears the demented laughter a final time. It reaches a crescendo, before the nightmare finally passes.
With a yelp, Twilight snapped back awake into reality. She brought up a mirror to her face using her horn. Her mane was a horrid mess, and her eyes were bloodshot red. Celestia, another of those freaking nightmares. I have to talk to the Princesses about this, none of it can possibly be normal.
Suddenly, a loud scream broke into the unicorn’s thoughts. “Oh no, SPIKE!”
Rushing down to the ground floor, she found Spike, huddled up against the wall, shaking in fright. “What the hay happened?” He didn’t say anything. She waved a hoof in front of him, seeing if he was still attentive.
Pointing a hand towards the kitchen, he simply muttered “Ki..kitchen..”
Ever so slowly, Twilight edged her way towards the door leading to the kitchen. The door knob twisted in a purple aura as she opened the entry way with her magic. Inside, she was completely unprepared for what she encountered.
“Ha, ha ha! I was hoping you’d come round. I could use a good LAUGH!”
Hanging from a cabinet, was a stationary gnome. His hands gripped the cabinet edge and the pipe coming out from the stove near the cabinets. He had the trademark murderous grin of the nightmare gnomes Twilight had seen far too many times before.
“And so, the fun begins...” The little gnome declared maliciously.