//------------------------------// // Prank day. // Story: Deadpool's stay in Ponyville. // by necroslayer288 //------------------------------// "Oh Deadpool, time to get up." sang Pinkie as she walked into the barn. "Just ten more minutes mom, the pretty hooker was just about to play with my- OH SHIT, Pinkie when did you get here!" freaked Deadpool. "Whats a hooker?" asked Pinkie. "Uhhh, never mind, you said we were going on a prank spree today right?" asked Deadpool. "I sure did, oh and Twilight's going to come with us to, she said something about observing your regenerative abilities, what ever that means." said Pinkie. "Alright that's fine, but where are they now?" asked Deadpool. "Oh they're just outside the barn waiting for you, so lets get going." said Pinkie. "Alright alright, I'm going." said Deadpool as they both left the barn, when they got outside they met up with Twilight and Rainbow Dash. "Alright so whats the plan for the pranks?" asked Deadpool. "Cut his head off, do it now!" screamed Pinkamena. "The plan is this *slice*" said Pinkie as she cut off Deadpool's head. "What the fuck Pinkie, lets not start this again, now where the hell is my head." said Deadpool as his body walked around feeling for his head. "Wait I thought you couldn't move if your head was cut off." said Pinkamena. "I couldn't move last time because you kept severing my spine as it was healing." said Deadpool as he kept feeling for his head. "Basically our body has a wireless connection to each limb, but if you keep cutting as it heals, it disables and re-enables the connection, but once it's been cut off for a bit we can control our body, it's pretty simple once you understand it." said Deadpool Two. "Remarkable, his body seems to be generating an endless supply of blood, and the wound appears to be pulsating, how interesting." said Twilight. "Yeah yeah it's cool, now can you put my head back on my body." said Deadpool. "But we need you like this for some of the pranks, and I want you wear my madame Pinkie Pie hat, it will go perfect with what I want to do." said Pinkie. "Alright fine, but only for a few pranks." said Deadpool. "Haha cool, we get to be Deadpoolio the Amassing." said Deadpool One. "Alright I'm game, but what is it we're doing with my head?" asked Deadpool. "Twilight will levitate your head in front of somepony, and you will pretend to be a genie, when they wish for some thing Rainbow Dash will kick a cloud and make lightning, but we won't give them what they wish for, we'll give them something they don't want." said Pinkie. "So what are we going to give them then?" asked Deadpool. "Maybe we can give them hugs." said Deadpool One. "What is it with you and hugs?" said Deadpool Two. "What's wrong with hugs, here let me give you one, you'll love it." said Deadpool One. "What the hell, get off me, what are you gay, stop I don't want your homo hugs!" screamed Deadpool Two. "Awww they're bonding." said Pinkie. "Why don't you give me a kiss to, come on baby you know you want to." said Deadpool One. "What the fuck, piss off you homo!" screamed Deadpool Two. "Ummm, you two do realize you're only voices in my head right?" asked Deadpool. "Oh yeah, right." said Deadpool Two. "Yeah some times we forget." said Deadpool One. "Alright lets do this, I want to get my head back on." said Deadpool. "Okey dokey lokey, lets get going." said Pinkie as she Deadpool, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight headed out to prank the unsuspecting ponies of Ponyville. "Alright that pony over there looks good enough, Twilight make Deadpool's head float over there." said Pinkie. Twilight made Deadpool's head float over to the pony sitting there eating a sandwich, when he got there he announced himself. "I am Deadpoolio the Amazing, and I will grant yo-." said Deadpool, he couldn't get all the words out because the pony bucked his head in to a wall, and then ran away screaming. "AHHHH, A TALKING FLOATING HEAD, GET AWAY." screamed the pony. "What the hell Pinkie, I thought you said he was good enough!" screamed Deadpool. "Uhhh, that was before I realized it was Scaredy Pants, I forgot he bucks anypony that scares him, hes just like that." said Pinkie. "Hay Pinkie, what about that guy over there?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Ooh, he looks great, okay Twilight, float Deadpool over to that pony." said Pinkie. Twilight made Deadpool's head float over to the next pony, when he got there he announced himself again. "I am Deadpoolio the Amazing, and I will grant you any wish." said Deadpool. "Oh wow are you genie?" asked the pony. "Why yes I am my good sir, now make a wish and I will make it come true." said Deadpool. "Oh boy, I get to make a wish, ummm okay, I've never been really good around the mares, so I'd love it if you could make it so all the chicks were all over me." said the pony. "You have wished it, and it shall be so, ALAKAZAMMBEENEEBOP!" shouted Deadpool, as Deadpool said that word, Rainbow Dash kicked the cloud and made lightning, then just after the lightning, Pinkie ran up behind him with a box full of baby chickens, and then dumped it on his head, and then they all ran away laughing. "Did you see the look on his face, he was all like yay chicks, and he was like awww chicks." said Pinkie. "Ha haaa, that was pretty funny." said Rainbow Dash. "Wait you guys, I have an idea, I'm going to pretend to be ghost next." said Deadpool. "Okay Twilight, float Deadpool's head over to that guy." said Pinkie. Twilight made Deadpool's head float over to there next victim. "OOOOoooooOOOO, I vant to suck your blood." said Deadpool One. "That's a vampire you dumb ass, we're a ghost." said Deadpool. "Oh, I vant to bite your ass."said Deadpool One. "WE ARE A GHOST, WE DO NOT BITE OR SUCK, WE HAUNT!" screamed Deadpool. "Ohhh, I vant to haunt your ass." said Deadpool One. "Fuck it, close enough, yes we will haunt the inside of your ass for all of your life, OOOOooooOOO." said Deadpool. "AHHHH, BUTT GHOSTS, EVERYPONY RUN AWAY!" screamed the pony as he ran away. "Haha haaaa Deadpool, that my friend, was awesome." said Rainbow Dash. "Of course it was, it was me." said Deadpool. "So where are we going next Pinkie, I actually find this quite entertaining." said Twilight. "Well I would kind of like to get my head back on." said Deadpool. "Yeah I'm hungry, how about we get some cherrychangas again?" asked Deadpool One. "Alright Deadpool, you can have your head back for now, but we're going to need it again tonight. Applejack is going to have everypony over for a slumber party, and we're going to tell ghost stories. Applejack's little sister Applebloom and her friends are going to be there to." said Pinkie as she put Deadpool's head back on. "Alright fine, you can have it back when we go to Applejack's barn." said Deadpool. "I"M HUNGRY!" screamed Deadpool One. "Oh my, I'm sorry Deadpool, I forgot you didn't have breakfast yet. Do you like pancakes?" asked Pinkie. "Do I like pancakes she says." said Deadpool. "Alright, come with me back to Sugar Cube Corner and I'll get you some pancakes." said Pinkie. "Oh boy, pancakes!" screamed Deadpool One with joy. "I've always kinda been a waffle man myself." said Deadpool Two. "Get out, you are no personality of mine." said Deadpool The sounds of footsteps and a door opening and closing are heard in Deadpool's head. "Wait, come back, he didn't mean it, we can still make this work. Baby please, I don't care if you're a waffle man, I still love you." said Deadpool One. "God damn woman, I just went to go take a leak." said Deadpool Two. "You're taking a leak inside my head, how can you be taking a leak inside my head?" asked Deadpool. "God damn it, can't a guy take a leak inside a head without being judged!" screamed Deadpool Two. "No baby I'd never judge you, I love you just the way you are." said Deadpool One. "Shut up woman! *smack*" said Deadpool Two. "Oh honey why you gotta be so mean to me!" screamed Deadpool One. "Uhhh, are you two just about done, because I'd like to get some pancakes,TODAY!" screamed Deadpool. "Yeah, we're good, ain't dat right bitch? You gonna listen, or is poppa Deadpool gonna have to smack a bitch again?" asked Deadpool Two. "No poppa Deadpool, I'll be good." said Deadpool One. "That's right, bitches gotta learn they place." said Deadpool Two. "So Deadpool, how have you enjoyed your day so far?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Well aside from the domestic abuse in my head, today has been pretty fun so far. I got to be a genie, and a butt ghost, all in one day." said Deadpool. "Domestic abuse?" asked Rainbow Dash. "You don't wanna know." said Pinkie. "Anyway, are we going to get some pancakes or what?" asked Deadpool. "Oh right, yeah lets go." said Pinkie as they all headed to Sugar Cube Corner. When they got there Pinkie got the ingredients for the pancakes. "Oh darn, I forgot the syrup, can you start making the pancakes wile I go get it?" asked Pinkie. "Sure, no problem." said Deadpool. When Pinkie left, Deadpool started making the pancakes. "I love the smell of pancakes in the morning...Mmmm, smells like victory." said Deadpool. When Pinkie came back with the syrup, she was shocked when she saw what Deadpool had done. "Deadpool I found the syru- OH MY CELESTIA, I was only gone for three minutes, how many pancakes did you make!" freaked Pinkie. "Three thousand two hundred and eighty-three, give or take, I ate a few wile I was making them. I would have made more but I ran out of room to put them." said Deadpool. "Oh darn, well I guess that'll have to do, Geronimo!" shouted Pinkie as she and Deadpool jumped in to the mountain of pancakes, Rainbow Dash and Twilight were just watching them eat, horrified at how much they were stuffing there faces. "How can they eat like that, is that even possible?" asked Rainbow Dash. "No, I don't think it's even scientifically possible to eat like that, for that matter how is Deadpool eating in the first place, he has a mask on." said Twilight. "The same way I'm talking to you with my mouth full, you can understand every word I'm saying and I have my mouth full of pancake, explain that, you can't, you know why, because I'm Deadpool baby!" shouted Deadpool. When they finished eating they washed up and headed back out. "So Deadpool, why do you wear that mask, are you trying to hide your identity, are you a spy, or do you just like wearing it?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Well this is one reason I wear it." said Deadpool as he took off his mask and showed them his face. "GAAHHH! I mean it doesn't look that bad, I'm sorry, I didn't know that was why you wear that mask." said Rainbow Dash. "Well the other reason I wear it is because masks rock!" said Deadpool as they kept walking through Ponyville. "Hey cotton candy pony, do you ever feel like someone is watching you, or writing something about you, you know like someone is narrating your life, and somebody else is reading it?" asked Deadpool One. "You know, now that you mention it, yes I do." said Pinkie. "Well all I have to say is, if somebody is narrating my life, they better leave me something good in that bush over there for chapter three, did ya get that narrator, who ever the hell you are." said Deadpool, thinking I was listening to him. "What are you two talking about, there isn't anypony narrating our lives." said Rainbow Dash. "You just can't see the truth, unlike me and the pink one here." said Deadpool. "Yes, we see all, and we know all." said Pinkie. "Okay miss know it all, did you notice that it's getting dark out already?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Oh yeah you're right, if we want to get in the last good scare of the day, we should start heading back to Applejack's now before it gets too dark." said Pinkie. "Awww, does that mean you have to cut my head off again?" asked Deadpool. "No, not yet, but when we start telling the stories we do." said Pinkie. "Yes cut his head off, bathe in his blood, it makes us feel tingly down there." said Pinkamena. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that... Anyway, lets get going." said Deadpool as they headed to Applejack's, when they got there, Deadpool hid behind a pile of hay and waited for the rest of them to show up. "Alright Deadpool, it's time to lose your head, ha haa get it." said Pinkie. "Enough with the jokes, cut his head off, we want to feel his blood on our hooves." said Pinkamena as she quickly cut his head off. "Wait... Awww god damn it, I didn't get itch my nose." said Deadpool. "Okay Deadpool wait for Rainbow Dash's signal, and then make your body walk out." said Pinkie as Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack and the others joined each other in the barn. "Alright Pinkie, you said y'all had a good scary story to tell, am I right?" asked Applejack. "Yes it's the tale of a headless monster that haunts this very farm, and on nights just like tonight it comes out to get little ponies that wander too far." said Pinkie as Sweetie belle and Apple Bloom huddled up to their sisters. "Ha, I'm not scared at all, why would I be scared, only babies get scared." said Scootaloo. "Oh my, how did the poor thing get headless?" asked Fluttershy. "Ummm, he put his head down one day, and he forgot where he left it, so he wanders around looking for his misplaced head, and if he catches you he takes your head,OOOoooOOOoo." said Pinkie. "Oh my, that's terrible, well I hope he finds his head one day." said Fluttershy. "You know, Fluttershy, you're not really making this scary." said Pinkie. "Oh, I'm sorry, eeeek that's terrifying." said Fluttershy. "I guess that's better, anyway, he wanders around this very farm looking for his head, on nights just like tonight, and if he catches you instead, HE TAKES YOUR HEAD!" shouted Pinkie, then Rainbow Dash kicked a cloud and made lighting and thunder, and just as she did that Deadpool's body came walking out. "Don't worry Sweetie, there's no real headle- AHHH THE HEADLESS MONSTER, HE'S GOING TO TAKE MY HEAD! EVERYPONY FOR HERSELF!" screamed Rarity, and as she screamed so did everyone else, Pinkie was just laughing hysterically, and so was Rainbow Dash. "AHHHH HAHAHAAA, don't worry you guys, it's just Deadpool." said Pinkie as she wiped a tear from her eye because she was laughing so hard. "Hoo boy, that sure was good one Pinkie, not really much of a story though, but it was just enough to give us all a good quick scare." said Applejack. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were both hugging their sisters, and Scootaloo was hiding in a pile of hay, then Rainbow Dash flew over and gave her a hug to. "Anyways, I think it's time for the youngins to go to bed, it's gettin late." said Applejack. "Awww but I don't wanna, I'm not even tired *yawn*." said Apple Bloom. "Sure yer not, now get, y'all can sleep in the club house for the night if you want." said Applejack as she walked them down to their club house. "Well today went by pretty quick." said Deadpool as he put his head back on. "Yeah it did for some reason." said Pinkie. "Oh Deadpool, I finished making your new outfit, I made it all black, it was almost like I had a little voice in my head telling me to make it black, I think you'll look smashing in it." said Rarity. "Oh thanks Rarity, it looks great." said Deadpool. "Hey cool, we get to be a ninja!" shouted Deadpool One. "I'm glad you like it, unfortunately I can not stay for the night, as I have important orders to fill tomorrow." said Rarity. "Okay, well have a good night then." said Deadpool. "Hey, anybody else think she kinda looks like a marshmallow?" asked Deadpool One. "Now that you mention it, yeah she kinda does." said Deadpool Two. When Applejack got back, she brought blankets and pillows. "Alright y'all we should get headin to sleep now, it's pretty late now." said Applejack. "Alright, goodnight Applejack, goodnight Rainbow Dash, goodnight Pinkie, and goodnight Fluttershy and Twilight." said Deadpool. "Goodnight y'all." said Applejack as they all said their goodnight's to each other. As they all fell asleep Deadpool could keep hearing strange noises, then he looked at the barn door, he saw that same changeling from the other night. Deadpool was determined to catch it this time, he got up quietly and ran over to the door trying not to make any noise. When he got there the changeling flew away again. "Not this time you bastard, go to that changeling. *poof*" said Deadpool as he teleported just above it and landed on it, taking it out of the sky. "What do you want, why are you here?" asked Deadpool as the changeling shot a green bolt at his face. "Ahhh, what the hell was that!" freaked Deadpool. "That was a poison blast." said the changeling. "Why would you shoot poison at me, I can't die." said Deadpool. "It's strong enough to kill a normal pony with one shot, but it's not intended to kill you, even though you can't die, it should still make you pass out long enough for us to wipe out Ponyville tomorrow, and steal your teleporter, then we can go to your world, and feed on all of you." said the changeling. "It's gonna be kinda hard to feed without a head." said Deadpool as he put his swords scissor execution style around the changelings neck. "Kill me now or in battle, it makes no difference, Ponyville will fall, and so will your world." said the changeling. "You talk to much." said Deadpool as he sliced off the changelings head. "We need to get back and warn the others." said Deadpool Two. "Yeah well that poison isn't making it easy." said Deadpool as he limped his way back to the barn. "Oh man, my tummy hurts, and I feel sleepy." said Deadpool One. "Yeah that's often the effect poison has on people." said Deadpool, when he finally got back he tried to warn them. "Pink...Pinkie, change...Changeling attack." said Deadpool as he fell on the ground and passed out, unfortunately none of the heard him, he laid there unconscious for the rest of the night, dreaming about what might happen if he isn't able to help them defend their town.