//------------------------------//
// Crazy Little Thing Called Love 
// Story: Somebody to Love 
// by Bico 
//------------------------------//


SOMEBODY TO LOVE
~BICO
Crazy Little Thing Called Love


        "I suppose," Rarity said, addressing Princess Cadance, who was reclining on a comfortable cushion. "I could give it a shot."

        Cadance smiled. "Oh, Rarity, would you do that for me?"

        Rainbow Dash, who had been hovering above Princess Cadance's head, shot higher into the air and pointed her hoof at Rarity enthusiastically. "Way to step it up, Rare."

        As Cadance's attendant and the messenger pony stared in awe at their sovereign's bravery in accepting the assistance of a foreign mare who had never even seen the official royal coiffure, the Crystal Princess continued. "Fortunately, I have all the precise instructions right here." Her horn glowed aquamarine and a chest held up by two other crystal ponies opened, revealing a scroll which unfurled to reveal a set of instructions that stretched from very near the ceiling all the way to the tops of the ponies' heads.

        Rarity blinked at the sight. "Oh, my."

        Cadance rose and walked up behind her, her brows knit in concern. "You sure you're up to this?"

        Rarity looked up at the giant scroll worriedly, but when she turned back to Princess Cadance, her eyes were full of fire. "Working on the hair of royalty on such an auspicious occasion is the opportunity of a lifetime! I will give it everything I've got!"

        Twilight stepped between them. "See?" she said, swiping a foreleg in front of her former babysitter, who smiled with a hint of pride at the casual attitude. "No worries!"

        "Besides," Rarity said, stepping closer to examine the document as her face tightened once more. "The Games Inspector isn't expected for several hours. I'll have plenty of time to figure out exactly how to... do... this..."

        Cadance beamed. "Oh, Rarity, that's wonderful!" She turned and walked back to the messenger that had brought them news of her previous hairdresser's illness that had prompted this exchange minutes before. "You said you had a second bit of news?"

        The messenger started and turned back to her princess to regard her guiltily. "Yes," she looked away nervously. "Quite." She looked back at Princess Cadance again and reluctantly delivered her news. "The Games Inspector, Ms. Harshwhinny, will be arriving on the... next train."

        The other assembled ponies all gasped. Rainbow Dash darted toward the messenger as her friends and the attendants began to scramble in a panic. "What?" she screeched, gesticulating wildly. "You couldn't have told her that news first? That's fifteen minuts from now!"

        "Oh my goodness," Fluttershy said softly as she hovered in midair helplessly.

        Twilight took a deep breath, letting her anxiety flow out of her mind while Rainbow Dash began to hyperventilate. Twilight approached Rarity with determination etched on her face. "How long before Cadance is ready?"

        Rarity squinted at the list before her. "Hmmmm... I'm sure to find some shortcuts."

        Twilight raised her chin confidently. "Can you have her back at the castle when we're done?"

        "Done," Rarity affirmed with aplomb.

        Twilight trotted over to the messenger and took the note announcing the Games Inspector's arrival. "Okay, we'll be fine." She glowered at the message as she looked it over, and then went over to the door of the spa, leading her friends sans Rarity out. "Everypony, just be on the look out for the pony with the flower print luggage."

        The door shut behind the five mares, leaving Rarity with Princess Cadance and her attendants. "Well," Rarity said, puffing out her chest. "We should get started, should we, Princess?"

        "Please," Cadance said as she climbed back onto her cushion and folded her legs under her. "Just call me Cadance. After all, you're one of my favorite little sister's best friends." She gave Rarity a sidelong smirk. "Not to mention cute little Spike thinks the world of you."

        Rarity giggled as she donned her reading glasses and went over the first item. This was fairly standard, involving a simple braid in the back. She set to work as she continued to chat. "I suppose he does. Has he... talked to you about me?"

        "Well," Cadance said with a beatific face. "I knew him well as a hatchling, of course, and when he got older he helped Twilight keep in touch with me through letters." She frowned. "Though I don't think it would have killed her to write a little more often. I didn't even know she'd moved to Ponyville until the wedding. Anyway, he's always quite eager to please."

        "He certainly is," Rarity said as she tied off the braid and beamed. This was already off to a great start, and step two only involved a little feathering. "It's only too bad that he wasn't invited along. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without those hands of his around the boutique. He never seems to want anything in return, either; I practically have to force payment on him." She put a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. "So strange that he was so insistent this morning about it, actually. Took me completely off guard and I'd already used all my good gems." She sighed regretfully. "I had to completely ruin the design of the outfit I was going to wear here to give him the tastiest—and, naturally, the most valuable—red diamond I had."

        "Oh, really?" Cadance asked breathily. She leaned her head toward Rarity and whispered. "So… he must be somepony... or... someone special to you? More special than anypony else?"

        Rarity cleared her throat as her magic aura flared, jerking the comb through Princess Cadance's mane. "Ah... well, it's not... not like that. I mean... I can't help but feel Spike has a bit of a... oh, I don't know... a fondness for me, but... well, he is still rather young to be thinking seriously about that kind of thing. Besides, it's not like I've really had a special somepony before."

        Cadance frowned. "Wait. Never? Haven't you been on a date before?"

        "Well, of course," Rarity said with a laugh as she picked up a gem from the counter as well as a drill. "I used to get asked out all the time even before I got my cutie mark. I was rather mature for my age, so even the older colts had their eye on me. Unfortunately, the closest I ever came to having a special some… one…"

        Cadance noted the use of the word "someone" rather than "somepony." Her eyebrow quirked curiously, but she decided to leave it at that for now.

        Rarity, meanwhile, put her hoof to her forehead dramatically. "… Ended in tragedy." She went back to furiously drilling into Cadance's hair with a deepening scowl and an ever rising pitch. Rarity continued. "But I've always been a mare who knows what she wants, and every colt and stallion I've met... hasn't had it. Besides, after the fiasco with Prince Blueblood at the Grand Galloping Gala, I pretty much swore off dating."

        "I see," Cadance said solemnly. "So... what, exactly, do you want?"

        Rarity huffed and set the drill down for a moment, allowing herself to stare into space. She was quiet for a long moment, which prompted the other courtiers to drop what they were doing one by one and turn toward her. Finally she put a hoof to her head and closed her eyes, her mouth pulled back into the slightest grimace. "I don't ask for much, really. I just want to have my breath taken away." She leaped over Princess Cadance and landed near one of the crystal ponies, twirling and giving him a sultry wink and a coy smile, causing him to blush fiercely.

        Cadance hummed and levitated an abacus, label maker, and an academy ruled notebook and started scribbling notes.

        "Not to mention as motivated as I am, myself," Rarity continued, seizing the wing-hooved messenger pony and twirling her around, unfastening her saddlebags that sagged with the weight of her letters and packages. "A true champion among champions!"

        Grabbing a bouquet from a nearby vase and taking one flower dramatically between her teeth, Rarity spun upon her hind hooves to the coat brusher. "The type who will give me a dozen red roses," she said around the stem. She tossed the flowers in her hooves to the crystal mare, who looked at them with confusion.

        "These are Diamond Dogwoods," the brusher said, but her momentary suitress was already bounding away. She shrugged and bit into them, enjoying their crisp flavor.

        "And of course," Rarity continued, giggling into her hoof as she moved to the massage table and grabbed a purple coated masseuse, leaning her back in the crook of her elbow as she craned her neck down until their muzzles nearly touched. "Shouldn't love be a funny thing?" She puckered her lips, the Diamond Dogwood held there tickling the masseuse's neck, causing her to cringe, biting her lip as her face turned an interesting ruby color before she burst into an uncontrolled fit of laughter.

        Cadance smiled lightly at Rarity's antics and reviewed her notes as she leaned back in her seat. "Well, Rarity, it sounds like you really know what you..."

        "Oh, that's not the most important thing!" Rarity crowed as she streaked to Princess Cadance's side, a manic grin plastered across her muzzle. She firmly took several strands of Cadance's hair and continued weaving and drilling as she took her place behind the seat, starbursts in her eyes. "The one for me must have class. Breeding. I want a... a prince of the universe!"

        "Well," Cadance said, wincing at Rarity's surprisingly aggressive ministrations as she set her supplies aside for the moment. "You certainly do... aim high. Of course, you deserve it, I can tell." She paused and looked over at Rarity, who had set the drill down on the table. She noted that her expression had begun to slowly fall. "So, uh... how's it going so far?"

        Rarity leaned back, pausing letting the various gems held in her telekinetic grip float around her as she worrisomely appraised her work. "Oh, I'm... so sorry," she said with a shake of her head. "It's just... oh, so complicated." She laughed, panic evident in her tense voice.

        Cadance considered upon glancing to the side to see the other crystal ponies' dismayed expressions that distracting her hairdresser while working on one of the most complicated hair styles in Equestria may have not been the best plan.

        "I can fix it!" Rarity blurted.

        "Fix what?" Cadance asked, her suspicions becoming more concrete.

        Rarity dropped everything and rushed over to the list. "Well, I-I was looking for shortcuts," she explained, coming back to the chair after reviewing the parchment. "And I thought step twelve was optional!" She hesitantly held a small hoof mirror up to Princess Cadance's countenance, fret painted across her face. "But it's not!"
        
        Seeing the tangle of hair and gemstones atop her head, Cadance's face fell. This was certainly not going to do. Not. At. All. After a long silence, however, the princess inhaled deeply and let the tension leave her body on the exhale. "Rarity, I believe you."
        
        "Pardon?" Rarity squeaked with a pinched face.
        
        "You heard me," Cadance said, fixing her hardest stare upon Rarity. "I've seen your designs, and I've heard from several ponies, including my sister-in-law, Fancy Pants, and Hoity Toity, about how resourceful you are. If any mare can do it, it's you." She beamed encouragingly.
        
        "I'm…" Rarity said falteringly. "I'm honestly touched by your faith in me, Princess." She looked over the scroll, and went back to work. She did her best to work back to step twelve, but it seemed that Cadance's hair had other ideas, fluffing out in all directions. Realizing that her patient was in critical condition, she pulled out her heavy duty chemistry and began to apply liberally. In spite of the words of encouragement, Rarity's eyes were tight as she worked.

        Cadance smirked. "I'll tell you what. If you manage to turn this hair disaster around, I'll do a little something for you." She held up her notebook, a full page of which was already filled with extensive notes on Rarity's likes, dislikes, and personality type. Rarity could only imagine how she had gleaned so much from her short outburst. "Love is a crazy thing, but it's also my special talent. If I can't find you somebody to love, well…"

        Rarity stared at Princess Cadance blankly, snapping out of it only when the door to the spa opened and Twilight Sparkle walked in humming a happy tune as if she didn't have a care in the world. Rarity gasped and shot across the room. "Wh-wh-what are you doing here?" she asked, trying far too hard to act casual as she panted furiously, eyes darting about the room.

        "We finished the welcome committee song," Twilight explained casually, taking no heed of Rarity's sorry state. "And we just wanted to introduce Miss Harshwhinny to—"

        Rarity shook her head violently. "No, no!" She looked back fearfully at her unfortunate victim. "Princess Cadance isn't ready. Something's gone terribly wrong."

        "I need to speak to the princess," Twilight said, attempting to look around Rarity.

        Rarity reared on her hind legs, spreading her forelegs wide to block any view of the heinous scene behind her. "You can't. You mustn't! She's in the middle of a delicate conditioning rinse that must go perfectly if there's to be any hope for her hair."

        "Come on," Twilight said as she continued to move her head around in an effort to get a glimpse of her old babysitter. "How bad could it be?"

        "Imagine her mane," Rarity said, seizing Twilight's hair with her magic and lifting it up. "Turned into a porcupine."

        Twilight looked up at the mess Rarity had suddenly made of her mane. "Oh."

        Rarity groaned and began to push Twilight out the door. "Please. I will bring her back from the brink of tragedy, but you have got to buy me some time." With one last shove, she finally got Twilight outside. "There's no other way!" she exclaimed with a melodramatic flair before slamming the door in her friend's face. Inside, Rarity heaved for a few moments before turning back toward Princess Cadance with renewed fire in her eyes. "Somebody to love, did you say?"

        "Ah," Cadance said with a sheepish grin. "Yes?"

        Rarity's eyes narrowed and an almost evil smile spread across her face. "It… is… on!"