//------------------------------//
// Hushed Words and Memories 
// Story: What went wrong and the end result 
// by rikusorasephiroth 
//------------------------------//

Maintaining an air of likability, I said, "Fluttershy already knows, but my name is Connor."

The second I finished the sentence, my sight became limited to an enormous pair of blue eyes.

Stepping back, I watched the pink one land on her hooves with a casual disinterest of my personal space before she said, "Hi,I'mPinkiePie.Doyoulikeparties?WhatamIsaying?Ofcourseyoudo.Whowouldn'tlikeparties?*gasp*Ineedtothrowyoua'welcometoPonyville'partyandinviteeveryponyintown!" before rushing out the door, leaving an after-image.

After watching the pink blur disappear from sight, I turned back to the others, who didn't seem surprised, and asked, "Did any of you understand that?"

A collective of shaking heads was all I got for an answer.

"Should I be worried?"

"Do you like parties?" the purple one asked.

Frowning, I answered, "Not particularly. I've never gone out of my way to attend any."

"Then you should probably be worried," she said with a sly smile.

I opened my mouth to respond, but closed it and rubbed my eyes, saying "We're getting off topic." 

Staring over, I said, "My name is Connor. What are yours?"

Purple spoke up first.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle. The town librarian and personal protege of Princess Celestia. Again, I'm sorry about earlier."

As I dismissed the apology with a disinterested swipe, the orange one stepped forward, saying, "Name's Applejack. Ah run Sweet Apple Acres with mah family."

With a sharp nod, I said, "pleased to meet you," before the white one introduced herself.

"I am Rarity," she said with an eccentic flair.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," I replied. "And what is it you do, exactly?"

A small grin crossed her muzzle. "I own and operate the Carousel Boutique. My dresses and designs are known all across Equestria"

Disregarding her ego, I asked, "So you're a tailor?"

"Umm... essentially."

"I see."

Looking to the blue one, I was met with a glare that could curdle milk before she deadpanned, "I don't trust you."

The corner of my mouth twitched up a little at the statement before Applejack elbowed (or at least the pony equivalent) the blue one in the ribs, saying, "Rainbow! Be polite."

With an exasperated sigh, she gave in and said, "I'm Rainbow Dash. I work with the weather team. Speaking of which, I've gotta start bringing in snow clouds."

And with that she flew out the door leaving a multi-coloured trail.
As the trail faded, Applejack let out a sigh.

"Ah'm sorry 'bout Rainbow. She can be a might stubborn when she wants to."

"No worries, mate," I responded.

"Mate? A-Ahm flattered 'n all, b-but Ah don't, uh...," she stammered.

Realising how she must be interpreting what I said, I groaned and raised my hand to shush her, before explaining how the word 'mate' is used in my society.

What originally started out as a breif explanation to Applejack, however, quickly escalated into an in depth summarization to Twilight.

[-]

As the chariot headed back to Canterlot, Princess Celestia was frowning  as her thoughts dwelled on the new arrival. Noticing this, Luna voiced her concern for the elder sister.
With a weak smile, Celestia said, "I'm fine Luna. I'm just thinking about our guest."

"What about him?" Luna asked, tilting of her head slightly.

"When we were talking he would smile and laugh and generally SEEM normal."

"And what is the problem with this?"

"His eyes."

"I am not sure I follow."

"When he smiled or laughed, it was as if he was merely going through the motions."

"Perhaps he was hiding sorrow. He IS far from home Tia"

"But his eyes weren't sad either. They were... empty."

"Empty?"

"Like his appearance of emotion was little more than a ruse."

While she knew Celestia wasn't telling her everything, Luna decided it would be best to leave it for now, saying, "I see. I will watch him tonight. If he dreams I might find answers for you there."

With a sigh, Celestia softly said, "Thank you."

[-]

After what I would have guessed to be about three hours of questions, during which Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie left, and Twilight discovered it would be easier to find a needle in a haystack than get answeres out of me, I noticed that it was dark out.

Curious, I returned my attention to Twilight and asked, "Would you happen to know what time it is?"

Lifting her attention from the pages of notes she had taken, she looked outside and said, "Oh my. I wasn't aware we'd been here this long. We should probably get back to the library."

"Why would you be going to a library?"

"Because that's where I live."

"You live in a library?"

"Yes."

"With a down-scale furnace face?"

"What?"

"Your little fire-breather."

"Huh?"

"Him," I said, pointing to Spike.

[-]

Upon her immediate return to the castle, Celestia made her way through the corridors to a door that seemed out of place, considering the only thing that should be behind it is a long drop to the courtyards.
As she approached the door an eye appeared on it before blinking twice and vanishing again.
Not waiting for an invitation she opened the door and walked into the room and cleared her throat, before asking the maid, whose uniform was disappearing a piece at a time, to leave.
As the door closed, the room's occupant asked, "Why did you have to interrupt my... 'private' fun, Tia?"

Ignoring the question, Celestia turned to him and said, "I need a favor, Discord."

[-]

After an explanation and a rather intense debate about the physical improbability that is magic, we left Fluttershy's cottage and made our way into town, with Spike eagerly going ahead of us.
A few metres outside of town, I voiced my concern over being seen by the rest of the town. Not stopping, Twilight explained that ponies rarely went outdoors after sunset.

As if on que, a pink-ish, purple-ish mare stumbled around a corner near the centre of town the second Twilight finished her assurances.

Standing unsteadily, she looked between Twilight and the space immediately beside me before hiccuping and continuing straight past us.

Watching the mare stagger away, I turned to Twilight and raised an eyebrow.
"Rarely out after sunset, eh?" I asked.

With an uncertain chuckle, she responded, "I wouldn't be too concerned about her. While generally a nice pony, Berry is almost never sober at night. In fact," she looked back the way the mare headed, "I'm a bit surprised she's even standing at this time of night."

As soon as what she just told me was processed, and the implications were filtered, I pressed my palms togeth, looked up at the night sky and mouthed 'thank you' to whatever deities existed.

Soon enough we approached the tree she mentioned earlier as her home.
Stepping inside she walked over to a low-set table in the middle of the room, set down her saddlebags, picked up a note and read it.

"What's that about?" I asked, with no genuine interest.

"Apparantly Derpy Hooves, our letter carrier, had to pick up her daughter from school, so she wasn't able to wait for me to come back to ask the questions I was going to."

By the time she finished the sentence, I was skimming through a random book I pulled off a shelf.

Placing the note back down, she gave me a quick run-through of what rooms were where and went up a set of stairs along the wall, shouting, "Spike, come and help me set up the spare bed."

Following her up, I watched the dragon crawl out of what appeared to be a dog basket as the unicorn levitated over several pieces of wood.

Instantly losing interest, I walked out onto an adjoining balcony and rested my elbows on the rail, thinking about the circumstances of my arrival and whether or not I could act upon some of my more destructive impulses... specifically, my pyromaniacal ones.

As I got deeper into these thoughts, I soon found myself rubbing my temples in an attempt to allieviate the headache that was forming.

Lowering my hands, I turned my eyes skyward as I looked intensely at a familiar formation.

Redirecting my attention to the purple pony, I her out and asked about the constellation.

Briefly glancing at it, she asked, "Luna's Shield? The Princess only made it last year, in honor of the re-creation of her own royal guard. Why do you ask?"

"It looks a lot like a constellation from my world."

A slght tilt of her head. "Really?"

"Yeah. If you flipped it horizontally and vertically, it would look exactly like what my world calls the Southern Cross."

"Could you tell me more about it?"

Smirking, I replied, "Maybe another time, if I feel like it."

Walking back inside, I made a vague gesture to the recently assembled bed, posing a silent question to the unicor beside me.

Picking up on it instantly, she nodded with a faint smile before climbing onto her own bed.

Removing and folding my coat, I placed it just under the edge and sat on the bed, silently hoped that my dreams would be separate from my memories for a change, before bringing my legs up into a bent position and lowering my back onto the too short bed.

[-]

As she trotted through the castle, Luna was plagued by questions.

'What is the real reason Tia seems worried about the human? Why was she in such a hurry after we landed? What is it about the human that has her acting like this?'

Banishing these thoughts, she made her way to her room, not bothering to take in the beautifully crafted fruniture, and removed her tiara and other royal attire before halking out onto her private balcony that overlooked Canterlot and many of the towns and cities of Equestria.

Standing on her balcony, Luna's horn ignited as she searched for the mind she wished to enter.

Finding it, she said, "Now then, our most unusual guest. Let's see what your mind creates while you sleep."

Closing her eyes, she projected herself midway into the dreams of the human, thinking she knew what to expect.

[-]

Connor was sitting in the hospital room, his chair facing the foot of the bed where his sister lay comatose. The steady beep of the heart monitor lulling him into a state of half-consciosness while he covered his face with his hands.

He was forcibly removed from his trance-like state when a doctor walked in. Lifting his head from his hands, Connor watched as the doctor made his way over to the monitoring equipment, looking between them and the clipboard he was carrying.

"Well, Doctor?" Connor asked with a voice hoarse from lack of use.

Flinching from the sudden sound, the doctor turned to him saying, "On a positive note, there doesn't seem to be any mental deterioration in the six weeks she's been here, but I'm sorry to say your sister doesn't seem to show any signs of improvement either."

"Anything else?"

"The results of the assessment for the spinal damage are in."

"And?" Connor asked, voice and expression clearly showing his loss of patience.

"Even if, against all probability, she comes out of this coma, she'll be paraplegic. The only thing that can really be done is turn off her life support and let her go peacefully."

Getting out of his chair, Connor gently placed his hand over his sister's and apologised, before looking at the doctor, saying, "I know what she would have wanted. Turn it off," before turning and walking towards the door.

A little surprised, the doctor asked, "You don't want to... do it yourself?"

Stopping at the door, Connor released a breath he didn't know he was holding and shook his head before opening it, walking through and gently closing it.

Turning away from the door, he looked over at his comatose sister before slowly walking over to her and placing his right hand over her limp left one, saying, "Hey Sis. I'm sorry I couldn't get back here sooner."

With a heavy sigh, he looked over where her belly was under the thin hospital blankets.
"If they'd been able to save her, I would have taken her in. You know that, right?" he continued, knowing he wouldn't get a response.

With no idea of what else to do or say, he made his way over to the seat that faced the foot of her hospital bed and rested his forearms on his knees, staring at the ground before finally bringing his hands up to cover his face, listening to the heart monitor while he waited for a doctor to come in and check on her.

[-]

Luna watched the scene repeat itself another three times before finally pulling herself out.

As her consciousness fully returned to her physical body, she wiped the wetness from her eyes with the back of her hoof, because while she was little more than a passive observer, she was still in HIS mind, and as a resullt, she felt everything he did.

And through it all she couldn't understand something about the memory she witnessed.

At the end, right before he opens the door to leave, something would change.
At the start she would feel his emotions separate from his state of mind and his feelings, and become increasingly distant throughout, but at the end it was as if they were gone completely.

The feelings of regret and his state of self loathing would remain, but the accompanying emotions were simply gone, and she couldn't understand it.

Gazing out from her balcony at the distant town of Ponyville, she took a deep breath and said, "I will see you in person tomorrow night. Maybe you can explain it to me... Connor."

[-]

Slowly waking and getting out of the small bed, I pushed aside the memory of the sadness I had felt, walked passed Twilight's sleeping form, out onto her balcony and sat with crossed legs as the darkness of night was pushed aside for the dawn.

Despite my somewhat raw state, I had to admire the beauty of watching the stars disappear one by on as the sky slowly grew brighter.

As I watched I reflected on the feelings I'd felt when I saw Fluttershy so filled with fear the previous day.

While she hadn't actually made me feel it, she made me remember what true emotion felt like.

She made me remember... I don't even remember exactly what it was she'd made me remember, but I knew it was pleasant.

When I tried to figure out what it was, it eluded me.

I couldn't understand it.

I knew I had feelings and states of mind, but I only ever got brief memories of emotions, and even those were vague.

The only emotions I could recall were anger and sadness. Nothing else seemed to have been there.

But Fluttershy... She seemed to open a memory of something so distant, I wasn't even sure it could be called a memory any more.

I began considering how much of myself I had willingly lost and brought forth a combination of a feeling and a state of mind.

I was afraid.

Afraid it was too late to recover.