The Tale of Lord Barleycorn
- - - - - -
Chapter 6: Helloooooo breakfast.
---
The early morning fog was still lingering around the treeline when the Sprout family began to mobilize for morning chores. The Sprout brothers raced out to the barn to decide who got to feed which animals before school.
As usual, it was Hay Stack's pick to feed the chickens, and Hay Bale got to feed the cows. With these two tasks called for, all that was left was the youngest colt, Wind Row to slop out the pigs.
The colt muttered to himself, his complaints rendered unintelligent due to him having to use his mouth to lift the filthy bucket. He shuddered in disgust, and like every morning he promised himself to clean the slop bucket... only to instead resolve not to lose tomorrow's race as he always did.
The pigs snorted their impatience at Wind Row as he hurried to deliver the bucket of mushy table scraps to their trough. The first bucket was emptied, and Wind Row stepped back to wipe his tongue on his knee. The young colt yawned, and looked out across their fields. He could see the tall ears of the rabbits bouncing through the carrot patch that buffered the fields from the Everfree.
An irritated round of surly oinking called Wind Row back to the here and now. After two more foul buckets were fetched and emptied, the Earth Pony colt could get on with his morning. All three of them had only left fifteen minutes to get ready for school, so Wind Row headed toward one of the rain barrels and dunked his head in. He held his head under the water and peeled his lips back to suck in the cold water. While it had the added benefit of banishing any remnants of sleep, Wind Row felt like he'd need the whole barrel to rinse the taste out of his mouth.
When Wind Row came up for air he was shivering, and his mane stuck to the back of his head. His brothers would take a little time to finish their chosen chores. Although feeding the pigs was foul, it was the easiest. His brothers not only had to feed their chosen livestock, but they had to milk the cows and collect the eggs.
The fog was nearly gone now, and Wind Row paused when he noticed something that had not been there the night before. In the family garden, only about five yards away was a scarecrow, and a shabby looking one at that.
Wind Row shrugged, somepony had to have put it up. He still had to get his books together before heading to school.
What Wind Row didn't see was the scarecrow very slowly lift its head. First it looked to him as he went back into the house, then to the basket of eggs Hay Stack set out.
"Helloooooo breakfast. These ponies better ship off soon... my feet are killing me."
=== Ponyville ===
"...And be sure to water them in the evening, preferably just before sundown." Carrot Top said as she walked by her rows of carrots. "And if that little rabbit of Fluttershy's comes around with his friends again, I want you to kick him into-"
"Carrot Top, I know how to take care of a bunch of carrots." Berry Punch punctuated her declaration with a bored sigh. "I do take care of Ponyville's only vineyard."
The pair had been walking along the neatly organized rows of carrots for nearly twenty minutes. It had been Berry Punch's idea to get introduced to the fields she was supposed to be tending, but Carrot Top had been listing her usual procedure for a full twenty minutes.
Carrot Top shook her head, a little embarrassed by her over-protectiveness. "Sorry, I know I'm being a little... overbearing? I think that's the right word... Anyway, I know you'll do a good job while I'm gone. I'm sure you'd be the same way if I was watching your grapes while you were out of town."
The purple earth pony shrugged, "Maybe a little, but not really. I'd be more touchy if it were fermenting and bottling time. When did you say you were heading out?"
"I told you, two mornings from now." Said Carrot Top, "I know you can handle this, but Lily, Roseluck, and Daisy need to find somepony who can take over for them."
Berry Punch turned her head to her companion, "Didn't you say Roseluck was having somepony watch her shop already?"
"Lyra, but she's using the extra time to find somepony else. Daisy and Lily need time to find responsible field sitters." Carrot Top shook her head. "Which is harder than I thought it would be."
"Oh? I'm not responsible enough for you? I'm hurt." Berry teased, giving Carrot Top a playful nudge with her hoof.
Carrot Top laughed, "Oh come on, you were my first choice!"
"Oh I'm suuuure!" Berry Punch snickered, "Really, thanks for thinking of me first."
"Thank you for accepting." Carrot Top said as they neared her house. "Can I get you a drink or something?"
"No thanks, I got a few things to do and I'm a bit behind schedule." Berry Punch sighed, "If you do end up staying, be sure to send a letter back. I don't mind a little extra watering, but I hate suspenseful dramas."
Carrot Top raised a hoof, "I promise you'll hear from me if that's the case. Hollow Shades is only a stone's throw from Ponyville, so if we can't do anything, then we'll all be heading back the same day."
Berry Punch tilted her head. "If it's that close, why don't you go and send for your friends when you're sure you're needed? Save them the trouble."
The orange mare gave a tired sigh, opening the fence gate for Berry. "I think that's Roseluck's doing. She's always wanted to go on a 'road trip' with us, so I think she talked Daisy and Lily into it. If I left without them at this point, she'd be very put off."
"She does have a wild streak in her." Berry Punch chuckled, pausing as she stood on the other side of the gate. "If you do stay, bring me back something."
The purple mare turned to leave, then stopped and looked back to her friend. "Has Pinkie caught wind of this yet?"
"No, and I'd like to keep it that way." Carrot Top rolled her eyes. "I love that Pinkie's always so upbeat and wants to make everypony happy, but this... I feel is a family matter. I'd like to keep it quiet."
"Even though you're bringing three of your friends?" Berry Punch smirked.
"Yes." Carrot Top nodded, a serious tone to her voice. "But they're coming along to help, not throw a party. And I don't feel it's all of Ponyville's business to know what I'm up to."
"I'd feel the same way if I was in your shoes, I guess. But I don't think that's really what you mean." Berry Punch said pointedly. "You don't want the Apples catching wind of this."
"I don't want to get into this." Carrot Top said in a hushed tone, "Fine, you're right. I don't want Applejack to know."
Berry Punch frowned, "Alright, worse comes to worse I can ask Vinyl to distract Pinkie for an hour when you set out. She owes me. And you will be owing me big when you get back." Berry Punch grinned, "You gotta help me pick all my grapes and stomp them."
Carrot Top smiled, "Getting a bunch of grape juice all over myself? You sure you wouldn't rather have Rarity help you?"
Berry Punch burst out in a loud guffaw of laughter. "You kidding? That pretty white coat of hers would be stained for months!" The vineyard owner grinned, "Maybe I should ask. She might start some new trend."
"Maybe." Carrot Top leaned against her garden's fence. "Thanks again, Berry. I really do appreciate this."
"What are friends for?" Berry Punch waved her goodbye before trotting off down the road.
Watching her friend walk away, Carrot Top couldn't help but feel really lucky. Berry could easily have said no, and Carrot Top could have been stuck with nopony trustworthy enough to watch her crops for her. Worse, if Roseluck found somepony it would mean Lyra could have ended up with the position. Lyra was a nice mare, but she was so... flighty.
With those fears quelled, Carrot Top entered her house and poured herself some lemonade. Leaning against her counter, the orange mare looked out at her fields. The sun was still rising outside, if the shadows from the trees were any indication. Carrot Top loved the sight of her carrots, all uniform in their rows as they stretched back to the river.
What bothered Carrot Top was Pinkie. Once the party mare got wind of Carrot Top's departure, Pinkie would have a party waiting for her on her return. The party itself would be fine, probably great. The trouble was then she'd have to come up with some lie or half-truth to tell about where she'd been. Of course, Applejack would be there, and if Carrot Top said too much or too little ponies would get suspicious.
Granted, Carrot top's secret wasn't something that would cause all of Equestria to come crumbling down, nor even Ponyville for that matter. It wouldn't land her in jail or cause her to lose friends. In all likelihood, no pony would treat her differently, save for the four living on Sweet Apple Acres.
=== Hollow Shades ===
Leadfoot grunted as he pried the backboard out of Corn Crib's cart and tossed it on the floor of the barn. The scarecrow hadn't been seen since last night, and it was nearly noon. Leadfoot had managed to talk his way out of going into the back field to work on the carts, but he couldn't stay inside the barn all day.
Leadfoot nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the barn door suddenly creak shut. The stallion had then expected some shout from his father about wasting the day, but instead there was Lord Barleycorn, carrying a length of rope on his shoulder, and across his back was a burlap sack not unlike the one that he wore on his head.
"Ah, are we alone?" The scarecrow asked in a pleasant whisper.
Leadfoot nodded, gawking at the creature. He'd been surprised last night... heck the creature had even horrified him, but Leadfoot had also been extremely tired. Now he was fully awake, and seeing the scarecrow confirmed that what had transpired in the kitchen last night was no dream.
"Excellent." He said a little louder than before, "Am I interrupting?"
"Not... really?" Leadfoot said cautiously, "I'm just trying to replace the back board in this cart."
"It shouldn't be any trouble at all then, with your masterful craftspony skills." Lord Barleycorn said cheerfully, setting the rope and sack on the barn floor with delicate care.
Leadfoot eyed the sack, then returned to the new board he had marked. Taking it in his mouth, he set the board on the saw horse.
"Forgive me if I'm... getting in the way." Lord Barleycorn coughed, "Perhaps you would like if I held the board in place while you cut?"
Leadfoot had just bent down to pick up his saw, but now his eyes were locked on the scarecrow. "I... sure."
"Splendid." Lord Barleycorn said, placing both of those long arms on the board.
With the saw in his mouth, Leadfoot lined up with the notch he made and began to cut. Try as he might, Leadfoot couldn't take his eyes off the creature. It didn't feel justified, but the scarecrow, or rather the creature inside, was such a mystery. Leadfoot wasn't ready to rule out that it was some kind of monster, but if it clearly wasn't an animal. What was it?
Realizing he was staring, Leadfoot averted his gaze to the board and released the handle, pretending that his jaw was sore from overexertion. "What's in the sack?"
"Breakfast for me, and the rope is the solution to your rabbit problem." Lord Barleycorn chuckled, "And maybe dinner, if I'm lucky. Roasted rabbit... yum."
"Breakfast?" Leadfoot's lip twitched, "What... does a scarecrow, or whatever you are, eat?"
"Oh fret not. Just some eggs. Your sister's sandwich last night was... interesting but hardly satisfying." The scarecrow patted the center of his barrel, or where Leadfoot guessed where his stomach was. "So I opted to make my own breakfast rather than squander your own foodstuffs. Although I may have to request the use of a pan."
Leadfoot held up his hoof, still trying to work things out in his head. "Where'd you get the eggs?"
The scarecrow cleared his throat, taking his time with his response. "The Sprouts have been blessed with fowl with incredible fecundity. It lead me to wonder to their quality, so I took it upon myself to ensure they were as delectable as they were plentiful."
Leadfoot's head hurt. He wasn't used to such long words being thrown at him in such rapid succession, but their meaning came to him in time.
"You stole them?" Leadfoot said, more a guess than a true accusation.
"I have stolen nothing. These clothes, this face, are merely borrowed, and you will have them back come fall's end. The eggs, while I admit they cannot be returned after consumption, I believe I can pay for, many times over."
"How?" Leadfoot frowned.
"If my labor bears fruit, then I can surely do the same for the Sprouts as well. But your farm comes first." Lord Barleycorn leaned against the saw horse. Even stooping, he still loomed over Leadfoot. "Rude as it might be, may I ask you a few questions? It's been so long since I've spoken to ponies like this."
Leadfoot sighed, then took the saw in his mouth again. He managed out a quick "Go ahead." before hurrying to get the new board cut.
"It's also been so long since I've been to your town, I wouldn't recognize anypony who lives here by sight. I've briefly been introduced to the Sprouts. Fine young brothers. Is there anypony in town you'd call 'interesting.'"
The newly cut board fell to the barn floor, and Leadfoot set the saw down. "This is Hollow Shades. All the interesting ponies left when the lumber mill was boarded up. Some big wig stallion in Canterlot bought it from the local owner and ran it into the ground."
The scarecrow grunted, "This stallion probably treated the mill like a turn-key operation."
Leadfoot raised his head. "A what?"
"It means when the owner of a business only shows up to open the doors in the morning and collect the profits." Barleycorn explained. "He expects his employees to handle all the problems and responsibility."
"Are you sure you know nothing about Hollow Shades? You sound like a lot of the loggers." Leadfoot set the saw up off the floor so nopony would step on it. "Well, the owner didn't even do that. I worked at the mill for a while when I was just a colt, trying to get my cutie mark." Leadfoot shrugged. "He never set one hoof in Hollow Shades, instead he put his son in charge."
The scarecrow gave a contemptuous snort as he reached down and picked up the board and set it in the back of the cart. "Pampered and spoiled rotten I bet."
Leadfoot shook his head. "Like you wouldn't believe. He complained that we were throwing up too much dust and quarantined himself in his office; on day one. On day two he outlined that we had to have uniforms, which we had to pay for. When something broke, it came out of our salaries, not his profits."
"With that sort of managements I'd be surprised if this mill is even standing." Lord Barleycorn held the board up in place.
"Standing, but condemned." Leadfoot snorted, getting the hammer and nails. "Eventually ponies got so fed up with him they went to work anywhere else. Most pulled up stakes and left town. The whole town relied on the mill, being so close to the Everfree, after all. He tried to get other ponies to move here and work for him, but most were wise enough to stay away. Then one day everypony arrived to work, and the doors were chained. He just packed it in and left."
Leadfoot hung his head. "The way a lot of ponies are talking, it won't be long before Hollow Shades is a ghost town."
Feeling something rest on his shoulder, Leadfoot lifted his head to see Lord Barleycorn's hand there. The sheer length of the limb took Leadfoot aback, but there was no sliminess, no ghastly sensation from his bald claws.
"I know what it's like to lose your home." The creature behind the mask spoke softly, "I know you might not have a lot of trust in me yet, but once I'm done helping your farm I'll turn my attention to the town."
Stunned into silence, Leadfoot merely blinked as he felt Lord Barleycorn pat his shoulder and retract his arm. In his dormant contemplation Leadfoot watched as the creature took the hammer and earnestly completed the repairs on the cart.
This creature seemed to love to make tall promises. Last night he had admitted to making a promise to his sister to save the farm, even though things were hanging by a thread as it was. By his own admission, Lord Barleycorn didn't know a thing about the town. He seemed honest about making the attempt but how would he accomplish it? Leadfoot wasn't sure, and he was even less sure about what to do.
"I have a question." Leadfoot said, finally emerging from his reverie. "Why do you care so much about my sister? You made a promise, and I respect that you intend on keeping it, but I don't understand why a stranger would stop and go through Tartarus and back just like that. Then to turn around and make an even bigger promise."
"Perhaps that's what separates us." The scarecrow said, sounding a little cross as it crossed its arms. "I'd think anyone, anypony, whatever, who wouldn't stop and try to make a child's day a little brighter isn't fit to wipe the dirt from my boots." Lord Barleycorn prodded himself in the chest with one of his fingers. "If that makes me a fool, then call me the king of fools!"
Leadfoot winced, "Hey, I'm not saying don't give her hope... I just..."
"No, don't apologize." Lord Barleycorn's slumped his shoulders, much of his conviction gone. "Just... a little righteous indignation on my part. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I'm sorry."
Stepping forward, Leadfoot stretched a hoof up and gently placed it on the scarecrow's chest. There was something definitely fleshy in there, and in a few seconds he felt the creature's heartbeat. What did Corn Crib see in him? Thinking back to last night, his sister had been smiling from ear to ear when she was with him. Sure, Corn Crib hadn't been mopey and emotional about their future, but Leadfoot couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her so happy.
"Um... what are you doing?" Lord Barleycorn asked.
"You might not be a pony... but I'm starting to think you really want to help." Leadfoot offered a genuine smile. "I'm just not sure how you can do it."
Lord Barleycorn chuckled knowingly. "I may not have a plan to help the town yet, but for now... I'd love to get my breakfast. Thinking and working are two tasks that aren't easy when your stomach is empty."
"Sure. Since you finished my job for me, I'll get you one of the skillets from the kitchen." Leadfoot began to gather up his tools.
Lord Barleycorn cleared his throat, causing Leadfoot to pause. "Oh, one last thing. Did you tell your parents about me this morning?"
Leadfoot set the saw back down on the floor and chuckled lightly. "Hey mom, dad, last night I saw Corn Crib outside with a six foot tall scarecrow. I think we should call the Wonderbolts in."
The scarecrow scratched his chin through his mask. "Yes, I can see where telling them about me would be rather silly."
With the tools in his saddlebag, and the saw in his mouth, Leadfoot headed out from the barn. Only now did he realize he didn't ask how the scarecrow was going to solve the rabbit problem, but maybe he was due a little good faith. Good faith, and a borrowed skillet of course.
If Leadfoot had turned around, he would have seen Lord Barleycorn taking out a pocket knife.
"I probably should have asked for more than just the skillet... going to be hard to cook with just this." Lord Barleycorn sighed, "Maybe I can whittle some chopsticks and pray I don't drop my eggs on the ground. No plates either."
Lord Barleycorn let out a quiet laugh as he closed the knife and slipped it into his pocket. "Challenge accepted."
---
To be continued...