I was still shivering from that hectic event as I made my way into the tavern, being comforted all the way by Deeja.
"Hey... it's nothing to worry about. He wouldn't have killed you. He was just bluffing."
I shook my head, unable to find words to speak. I honestly could have died right then. Sure, I've had close calls before, but this was the first time when it had just happened out of the blue. The streets of Goldshire, the Goblin Alliance's capital city were littered with places everyone knew not to go into. Though sometimes, I would anyway, and on a blue moon I'd pay the price. I had to give up quite a few Gringot Gold pieces to satisfy those goblins who took... alternative routes to acquisition. Still: then, I had control. However, this time...
Honest to god, I couldn't wrap my mind around it.
I settled down at one of the bar tables, as Deeja friend bought the two of us drinks. (Turns out they took any type of gold they could get.)
He smiled at me. "Sooo.... Deeja? Never heard of that before."
I was grateful he was simply trying to change the conversation instead of talking about what happened. So I cracked a smile, and went along with it.
"Well uh-" I said, blushing slightly. "It means 'Nice Guy' in our older language. It's long dead, but I know a few words. Um - I hope you don't mind the name..."
He blinked, quirking his head curiously.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out. "I could think of a new one - or why don't you think of one? It's your name-"
"Nono," he smiled, reaffirming his name. "I'm kind of flattered, really." He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes. "I'm uh... just not used to accepting compliments."
"Well it's the truth!" I said, smiling slightly, as another goblin, of all chance, delivered our drinks, paying me no particular heed. "Thanks for the drinks, by the way..."
"No problem," he shrugged, before giving me a sheepish look. "Well uh- to be honest, it's kind of to um... 'soften you up'..."
My eyes widened. Does he want to do what I think he wants to- I mean, he's a nice guy and all, but uh... not sure I'm ready for-"
"Errrr," I coughed. "Soften me up for what?"
"Heh, just a question," he said innocently.
An awkward, embarrassed grin spread upon my face. "Uhhhhh... look, Deeja, you're a nice guy and all, but it'd just be weird if we-"
"Tried to be housemates?" he said.
I nearly flattened my head against the table. How could I think he'd want to -
He shot me a grin. "What do you think I was trying to ask you?"
I blushed fiercely, shaking my head. "Er, nothing!" I coughed. "I mean - not that I'd - I'm not really - I don't do that kind of thing!"
"Calm down," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not trying to take advantage of you. If I wanted some... relaxation, there's plenty other ways I could get it without breaking your trust, not that I would."
I sighed in relief, smiling warmly. "Well in that case... you've been with me since the start, so why not?"
His eyes widened in delight, and for the first time, he looked like he was ready to bounce in joy. "Really?! That'd be so awesome! I figure since you're trying to set up a store, if me, you and maybe one or two others bought a nice, decent sized house, you would have even more money to set up shop and stuff!"
I gave him an impressed look. I never thought of that... I guess he's had more time than I have to do so. This could actually work out nicely... plus, leaving him all alone after smuggling into the country just seemed.... wrong. He was actually.... fun to be around, and really did live up to his new name. Plus, he knew a lot of things I didn't... like how to socialize easily, for one thing...
"One thing, though," he said, smirking.
"Sure," I shrugged.
"I call basement!" he grinned. "And the rights to make a small tunnel system, so long as I don't violate any laws!"
I blinked in confusion.
"What?" he shrugged. "I gotta have somewhere to set up a private nest."
I shook my head, rolling my eyes. "Whatever works for you, I suppose."
"Excellent," he grinned. "It's going to be awesome! We could totally have wild, creepy parties down there or something. Ooooo, have you heard about Nightmare Night?"
"Nightmare... wah?" I said, lowering my eyebrows.
What kind of night would be devoted to nightmares? How would you even do something like that? Eat spicy foods before bed?
"Well um - if you don't mind me saying, we still need to find a place to settle down first," I peeped. "I mean - where are you looking to live? A city? Town? Village? Out in the country?"
I prayed to god it'd be a city...
"Either a town or a village, I guess. Nothing too big, but nothing too small. Just a nice little place to settle down for my better days."
Darn...
A town would have been nice, but I needed to be in the city. Inventions were signs of progress, and cities were where progress kept up the most. Towns were not like that: towns had a habit of staying stagnant. Staying what they were...
... Because perhaps the people living there had no need for change.
I frowned slightly. A town would have been nice and relaxing, a place for me to create and perhaps even test my new inventions in peace. Though a city would be where I'd sell the most... I could always live in a suburb, I supposed, but very few cities in Equestria had those, and they weren't the same as a town surrounded by shrubs and fresh air.
"A place with fresh air," I sighed.
"Huh?"
I chuckled slightly, though sorrowfully. "The Industrial Revolution, as we call it, has come to most goblin cities. I remember how it was before then: the air was fresh and brisk, so clean, and the stars shined bright above. It isn't like that anymore... too many lights: too much smog choking the air.
"That sucks," he said, frowning. "I feel you though: the hive was kind of like that. Very claustrophobic to some. I never really minded it that much..."
"Huh... it'd be interesting to visit, but not to stay..."
"I take you it don't want to live in another city, either?" the changeling asked, smiling hopefully.
"I have to, though - I need a place to sell my inventions easily and practically."
"Well, what if you lived in a town not too far from a major city," Deeja suggested.
I blinked, glancing at him in confusion. "Where could you find a town like that, though? I didn't find any on the map I examined. There was one near Canterloot... Canter- ugh, I can't remember the name of it-"
"Welcome to my world," the changeling smirked.
"But it's still too far away... and the ponies don't have any fast transit, system, do they?"
"I think I know what town you're talking about," the changeling said, nodding. "And Equestria actually does have a railroad."
My eyes widened as I chastised myself. That's what I get for reading decades old books... perhaps this country isn't as primitive as I thought...
"What's it called?" I asked.
Deeja paused for a second, wracking his brains. "Ugh, I know this one... I think the town is called-" He squinted in thought. "Is called..."
"Ponyville."
I wasn't the one who had answered him, however. It came from a nearby table. There sat Hunter Will, who hadn't said a word to us since he sat down and began drinking a tankard of 'Minaton Ale'. He wasn't speaking to us, though.
"Mmmm, that's where your brother lives?" the goblin said, scratching his head.
"Yeah," Hunter sighed. "DS is going to get there long before I do... my brother could take him in a straight fight, but if he starts using magic, he's going to be in a world of hurt!"
"Well... shoot," the goblin sighed. "I wish there was something I could do to help you, friend, but there really isn't really any quick way to get there from here... you'd need a Skim or something, but those are rare..."
"It's alright," he muttered. "I've already accepted the fact my brother is screwed because of me. The only thing you can do to help me is to get me another tub of ale..."
Dollar signs practically flashed in the goblin's eyes. "Comin' right up! If life gives you lemons, make hard lemonade! That's what I always say."
"Good man," he grunted, before continuing to drink.
Deeja frowned at the conversation, before turning back to me. "Poor guy... that Dirty Sand is one nasty piece of work to go and target his brother for no reason."
"He's a sociopath," I muttered. "He has no emotions... no feelings..."
No love and only cares about himself?
I swallowed a lump in my throat. Perhaps we weren't as different as it seemed....
No, no don't start thinking that! You felt sorry for the changeling, didn't you? You comforted him! You may not feel love for your friend yet, but you do feel empathy - don't let the stigmas about goblins get to your head!
"I wish there was something to do to help..." he said, before smiling slightly to himself. "Ponyville is the place I was thinking about. It's tucked away in the mountains and before this big honking forest where a lot of my people hide out. It's only maybe an hour away to Canterlot by train."
My eyes widened. This place sounds almost absolutely perfect!
My mind began to race with the possibilities. Canterlot - Canterlot was the capital city of Equestria! If there was any place where progress bloomed, it would be there! I could bring an industrial revolution of my own to the place, and get rich while-
I sagged into my chair, sorrowfully. Would I want to, though? Think of what industrialization has done to the Alliance...
Yet the ponies were different, weren't they? They cared about the environment: cared about happiness and not just greed. They wouldn't be as irresponsible as us, would they?
I shrugged the thoughts off: now was not the time for second guessing myself. From now on, every decision I would make would be the right one!
"Know anything else about it?" I asked.
The changeling shrugged. "Not too much..." He then smiled slightly. "But I bet Hunter would."
His name seemed to got his attention. He perked an eye our way.
"Normally, Hunter Will would be upset about people talking behind his back... hehe... literally... But today: talk all the trash you want," he slurred, obviously somewhat tipsy. "I deserve it - I nearly got your friend killed."
Deeja blinked in surprise, before putting on an apologetic look, shaking his head. "Oh no- we weren't talking about you in a bad way. And what happened wasn't your fault."
He did charge Dirty Sand though... but I suppose I'd probably do the same.
"I uh-" she peeped. "I really appreciate what you did- really. And um... we'd like to help you if we could."
"Mph," he grunted, taking another swig of ale. "Hunter Will doesn't see anyway you two could help him. Dirty Sand can teleport, you two can't. It's as simple as that."
"No," Deeja said, grinning slightly. "But my friend here happens to be a genius inventor-"
I blushed fiercely, throwing him a look.
However, he ignored me, before continuing with: "And one of her inventions happens to be sitting right outside town."
"Bah," he scoffed, taking another swig. "What kind of machine could be his speed? Has your friend invented wings? Because Hunter Will weighs twenty times as her! Goblin machines aren't built for us mighty minotaurs!"
"He says I'm not fat!" I smiled.
"Yeah..." Deeja said, smirking sarcastically for some reason. "Pffft - if it were that easy, I could just fly myself and warn your brother, but this guy seemed like he was pretty advanced magically speaking - or am I wrong? I'm not the greatest flier, I'd tire before he did."
Hunter lifted an eyebrow. "You have some pretty good intuition for a changeling..."
I coughed, throwing the subject off the somewhat-racist remark. "Alright... if you're interested, I have a machine that can travel about thirty kilometers an hour on sand: and even faster on more solid terrain."
"I don't know how well it'd fair with your 'muscle' weight, though," Deeja grunted, glaring at him slightly.
"Hunter Will is at the pique of physical performance, puny changeling!" he growled, before sitting up out of his seat.... and making his man-breasts bounce on their own. "The only question is: can the goblin's machine handle MY MAJESTY?! THESE MUSCLES HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE WILL FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! STARE IN AWE AT THEM!"
Oh... my god. I'm not sure what's worse: that he's doing this or that... he looks somewhat gorgeous.. I then gritted my teeth. No! Don't fall for his tricks! Ignore the muscles! Ignore the finely toned muscles!
After a few seconds or so, Deeja sighed. "Ya done yet?"
"So long as my point as been proven!" he grinned.
"Yeah..."
"Look," I interjected. "The two of us are going to be heading to Ponyville. And um - if you don't mind, we'd like to be leaving soon. This is your best bet at helping your brother, so do you want to take it or not?!"
Deeja raised his eyebrows. "Woah."
"I mean um -," I said, taking a deep breath and smiling sheepishly. "It'd be um - nice to have you and your - sculpted, I mean uh - nice looking, - I mean uh... your finely toned... YOUR PRESENCE - with us!"
"A swing and a miss," Deeja sighed.
Hunter Will looked us over for a second, before taking another swig of rum and standing up. "Hunter Will is just drunk enough for this to work! He only asks that he gets to drive-"
"No!"
"Fine, then Hunter Will will assist in his expert navigation and keep you two safe from any harm! DEFENSIVE SKILLS HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE WILL FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! HOO-HA!"
Deeja finally had had it - his face hit the table. "This is going to be a long trip..."