Mary Sue, the red-maned black coated alicorn, looked up from the model airplane she was making, watching the Doctor with mild interest. It was a lazy Tuesday afternoon and since one of them was a time lord and the other was an immortal goddess, they naturally didn't have to go to work (working and paying the bills was Derpy’s problem).

"That is an odd thing to ask," the Doctor said with a huff. "And rather personal too!"

"Doctor!" Derpy called out, trotting into the Tardis with Mary Sue fast on her hooves. "Doctor, are you in here, I brought a guest!"

"And snacks!" Dinky proclaimed, following behind the two mares pulling a wagon loaded with tortilla chips and 5 different kinds of dip. “Don’t forget the snacks!”

"Huh," Mary Sue said, looking at the interior of the Tardis with interest. "So apparently this ship uses a condensed space field to allow it to have a great interior that its exterior would have you believe."

The Doctor came racing in, eyes wide and his movements frantic. "Derpy, thank whatever deity time lords worship your here! I am in the middle of an emergency and we must act quickly!" The stallion began to tug on some levers, only to pause and look at Mary in confusion. "And who is this?"

"Right right, very good. Now Mary, I only ask this because the fate of the galaxy depends on it... I need to examine your genitals."

“Is that a new kind of dip?” Dinky asked. “I don’t think I have that.”

"To be fair, I was at that moment dealing with a race of aliens that hid themselves in the genitals of females," the Doctor said.

"Honestly?" Mary asked. "I am kinda getting bored with the whole..." she vaguely gestured at his form, "...thing you have going on here."

"Your mane and your skin and your lack of horns or wings. Maybe if you regenerate you'll get crab claws or something... that would be neat."

"No... no they aren't. And I am not going to regenerate just because you are tired of my looks... I couldn't even if I wanted to. I have to die to regenerate."

The Doctor returned to the magazine he was reading, only to drop it after a few moments. "Do you mean ok as in you are letting this go... or ok as in you are going to now actively try to kill me?"

The BBC Presents

In Accordance With defender2222 Productions

David Tennant

Andrew Francis

and introducing Keith David as Lord Tydal

Doctor Who

The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted
Episode 16: The Many Secret Origins of Sunset Shimmer

"Dad..." Misty said, walking up to the table her father was sitting at with a tray loaded down with food clasped in her hands, "why is there a teenage girl sitting at our table?" Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Oh lord, you aren't having another Mid-Life crisis, are you? I will not call her 'mommy'!"

"Of course I'm not having a mid-life crisis and even if I was, your mother would castrate me!" Tydal complained. "Wait... 'another'? I've had a crisis before?" Misty nodded her head. "What did I do the last time?"

"Tydal, I'm home!" Merida called out, tossing her purse and keys on the kitchen counter. The tall, lithe Scottish woman shook her bushy red hair, letting it fall in a curly mess around her face."Where are-AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Merida stumbled back, waving her arms and looking for her crossbow. There, in the middle of her living room, was a gigantic robotic head. Wires were exposed where the plates hadn't been added and oil was leaking onto her new carpet.

"I'm building a Jaeger!" Tydal said happily as he emerged from behind the monstrosity, wiping the sweat from his brow. "I'm going to call him Punchy McKill-Kill! Take that non-Godzillas!"

"I'm concerned you don't remember your own life," Misty stated as she sat down, her father wolfing down the first of his many McDoubles. "I see your appetite hasn't been affected by this crisis."

Tydal grabbed a handful of fries and shoved them into his mouth. "I am not having a midlife crisis!" he complained. "Sunset here bumped into me and when I saw she was crying I decided to take pity on her. You know I can't stand seeing young girls cry."

"That's true." When Sunset shot her a confused look Misty smirked. "My sister and I used to use the big puppy dog eyes to get anything we wanted."

"Brat," Tydal muttered, earning a kiss on the cheek from his daughter. "Now then, Miss Shimmer, why don't you tell me why you were walking around this most wonderful of places with tears in your eyes."

Sunset lowered her head, idly grabbing a french fry and nibbling on it. "My... my life is just horrible. Sometimes I wonder why I go on."

Misty waved the teen off. "Don't worry, he's mostly kidding. Now, what is wrong?"

Sunset licked her lips, her half-eaten french fry dangling from her fingers. "It all started before I came to this place."

"...yes," Sunset said quietly. "When I first came here, it was because I was upset. My mentor... Celestia-"

"Bloody hell!" Tydal exclaimed, forgetting himself. "She's a principal here? Talk about a downgrade."

Tydal caught the look and considered his words carefully. "Sunset... would the name 'Cloudsdale' mean anything to you." At the widening of Sunset Shimmer's eyes Tydal knew he had guessed right. "Misty, could you go get us a round of shakes. On me, of course." Tydal pulled out his wallet and yanked out a few bills. "These will be enough, right?"

Misty might have been a cool, collected, serious young woman... but the sight of the hundred dollar bills in her father's hand made her almost squeal. "Yes... yes they are." She happily hurried away, already thinking about the new leather coat she was going to get with her ill-gotten gains.

"Yes," Tydal said, cutting the teen off, "but it will keep her out of my hair for a few minutes. Now then... you didn't always have these," he wiggled his fingers, "did you?"

"Who is Luna, anyway? I've been wondering that since I met Vice Principal Luna. The Princess doesn't have a sister... does she?"

"Long story, involves Nightmare something or other, not worth telling, in my opinion. You must have already left when that all got cleared up." Tydal puffed up a bit. "I am Lord Tydal, God of the Sea and God of War, master of the Mareatine, King of the capricorn nation."

The green-haired man visibly deflated. "Bugger, you have been gone for a while. Does the name 'The Teacher' mean anything to you?"

Sunset was practically vibrating in her seat, a grin nearly breaking her face into a million pieces. "The one who taught Princess Celestia the art of magic?"

"Yes... if by taught you mean I stopped her from grabbing crayons with her magic and scribbling on my walls."

"Another long story that would take up at least 3 fan fics, cameos in several more, and a few songs. What about you?"

Sunset sighed. "We had a falling out. I am willing to admit I was a bit hasty… but Celestia was always complaining that I demanded too much too soon.”

“Yes, she has that problem,” Tydal grumbled. “She always gets mad when I show even the tiniest bit of impatience.”

Tydal pointed to a piece of cheesecake that was sitting in the bakery’s display case. “I’ll have that one.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but that is merely a prop, it isn't real. But don’t worry, a fresh cheesecake will be ready in one minute.”

“What happened to the Celestia who use to get drunk and destroy innocent bakers!” he complained as he tossed his weapon to Chrysalis.

Sunset sighed. “I honestly don't know why she ever chose me out of all the fillies at her school… we are nothing alike and always fought... I don't get why she ever looked at me-"

"Most likely she picked you because she's your mother," a blue-skinned woman with a purplish-pink beehive-style hairdo said.

The woman's husband, a long and lanky man carrying a set of twins that were most likely not his (seriously, it is pretty clear they aren't), decided to join the conversation. "Yes, it is pretty clear that you are Celestia's secret love child."

"I heard the whole tale," the woman said with a sad smile. "It was beautifully tragic."

Sunset held up her hands, asking for some quiet. "How... how can Princess... I mean Principal Celestia be my mom?"

"When a man and a woman love each other very much," Tydal began, "the male inserts his phallus-"

"DAD!" Misty screamed, rushing over to stop him. "There are some things I don't need to have come out of your mouth."

Sunset watched as the two bakers walked away, her brain a whirl of new information. "C-Celestia is my mom? Then who is my dad?"

"Probably King Sombra or someone, who cares?" Tydal said with a wave of his hand, snatching the strawberry milkshake Misty had gotten him from her grasp. "Now then, back to your story?"

Sunset nodded. "Right... its just that finding out she's my mom makes her abandoning me all the worse!"

"Oh noes," Tydal said mockingly, clasping his hands against his cheeks, "you have issues with your mommy! Not like anyone else has the exact same problem." He gave her a cool stare. "My mother locked me in a crate when i was a baby and then forced me to raise my sisters because she wanted to work on her tan."

"It still hurts," Sunset murmured. "She abandoned me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he pretty sure he's gay,"

"After what I saw him doing to Snowflake... yeah, I'm sure even if he isn't. So, I am dealing with that and those mean girls Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Applejack who are always picking on me..."

Tydal clapped his hands together. "Well, why didn't you say so! I can help you fix all of that!"

"Of course! Now, we have two options... the first is for us to work together for months on end building up your self confidence and teaching you how to handle the pain your life has brought you, allowing you to become a more well-rounded person."

"Boring as (censored)," Tydal said dryly. "Which is why we are going with option two: We declare a blood feud on all those that have hurt you and systematically seek vengeance upon them all!" Tydal threw his head back and to the shock of all those in the restaurant, the formerly sunny sky darkened and thunder rolled in. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Wait," Misty said in confusion, "why are you helping this girl declare a blood feud against Aunt Celestia?"

"...works for me!" Misty said with glee, throwing back her own head. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Wow, the weather sure turned bad, didn't it?" Cadence asked, looking up at the dark sky. "Do you hear evil laughter?"

Before Shining could answer, one of his frat brothers, a tiny little guy with brown hair and eyes that spun whenever he moved, spoke up. "I didn't laugh at all."

"... of course you are," Shining muttered, leading Cadence away from his frat brothers.

"Thanks for walking me back to my dorm," Cadence said. "With that phantom flasher running around, you can't be too careful." Cadence pushed her glasses up and smiled nervously at Shining Armor. "You are very sweet."

"Thanks," Shining said, trying to hide how disturbed he was by this shy, skittish Cadence.

The two of them walked in silence to her dorm. The storm clouds and evil laughter were driving ponies back to the safety of their rooms and Shining figured that he could use the rain as an excuse to spend a few hours in Cadence's dorm. Truth be told, with all the craziness and being-human-ness going on he was desperate for a friendly face. He knew he could go find Tydal, but he worried that joining the former capricorn for the evening would result in them sharing a jail cell. Besides, even if this Cadence wasn't his Cadence, she was a version of his wife and he always drew strength from her when she was near.

"So, what are you majoring in?" Shining asked as they entered her dorm-room. It very much reflected her personality: touches of pink, plenty of soft, fuzzy things, and muted, gentle lighting that did not encroach.

Cadence beamed, clearly coming out of her shell when she was given a chance to talk about her major. "Here, i have a video that will explain. I did it for my class last semester." She walked over to her DVD player and popped in a disc from the stack on her desk. Shining took a seat on her bed, Cadence sitting next to him, her eyes riveted to her hands the moment she realized she was sitting next to a boy.

Shining's brow furrowed as he watched Cadence's face appear on screen. "Hello, I'm Cadence and this is my midterm project for Animal Husbandry 401. I have decided to demonstrate the proper way to collect samples from a stallion."

"Samples?" Shining asked as Cadence shifted the camera to the strangest pony he'd ever seen. The stallion's nose was overly long, his eyes WAY too small, his mane was styled in a very strange way, and he was much, much bigger than any stallion Shining had ever seen. Cadence took out a stool and sat down, having already restrained the horse so it couldn't move. "Cadence what are you-HOLY CELESTIA!"

"Shining... are you ok?" Cadence asked, blushing with embarrassment. "Oh... I'm so stupid! You must be so disgusted seeing this! I just got so excited... I'm very, very sorry, I promise... what are you doing with my pillow?"

"Shining? Are you ok?" Cadence placed her hand on his brow, checking his temperature. "You don't feel warm... but you are breathing very hard."

"Notice how the horse's breathing increases when I tighten my grip," video Candece said.

She leaned in close, her fingers running along his throat, her lips nearly touching his sweat-kissed skin. "Shining, I think you might have food poisoning-"

Shining threw Cadence onto the bed, his hands clasping her wrists and holding them above her head as he began to kiss her neck, his legs straddling her as he proved it wasn't just his breathing that was hard.

The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted

by defender2222

The Many Secret Origins of Sunset Shimmer