$%$%$% Amos's POV $%$%$%
Two weeks later, Taylor, Jay, Chrysalis, Oleg, and Delray were loaded into the strider with me piloting. Delphine was next to me, and Twilight was seated just behind us. Jacques, complete with a set of cybernetic hind legs, was next to the door, hoping to be the first one on the Valkyrie. Sitting in a rather inconspicuous duffel bag were the pieces of tech we needed to makes sure everything went off without a hitch. I don't know if Taylor ever explained his FTL device to you, but he based what we called the Doorframe on, though they used different methods to facilitate faster-than-light travel.
The unnamed FTL gun broke the body into its basic components, then reassembled it at assigned receiver. Nicely put, it kills you, then resurrects you somewhere else. However, it could also blind-fire, but had a more limited range. A hundred lightyears isn't something to laugh at, especially from a portable device. Now, the Doorframe was different. I'm not sure how it works, but it opens one portal in one location, obviously using one such frame, which was really the four corners of a door. That first frame was in Canterlot's Temple; the second was in the duffel bag, though some assembly was required.
“We're flying into motherfucking space,” Taylor said, staring out a window as we ascended into the upper atmosphere. For the first time, at least to my knowledge, he sounded giddy, positively ecstatic at the prospect of something so mundane. I must have breached atmospheres hundreds of times; he never mentioned leaving this planet, even though he claimed to be from another universe entirely. I wonder how he would face the Imperium at large? Would he react with the same enthusiasm, or would he hate our beliefs?
$%$%$% Taylor's POV $%$%$%
I was excited. Not only was I in space, but I was aboard a craft capable of repeatedly breaching the atmosphere of its own power, and no need to strap extra rockets after each launch. As we left Equus's atmosphere, I didn't notice much of a change, save for my spectacular view of the surface. The brown patch near the Pridelands reminded me of a rather dark chapter in my life. Hell, it was a dark chapter for everyone involved.
But, as much as my brain enjoyed reminding me of the war, I needed to focus on what was happening now. Chrysalis, pressed herself against my side as my mind attempted to focus on the Skyward Valkyrie. Even from this distance, I could sense life within the massive ship; it was massive by my standards, anyway. There were a few humans aboard, but their minds were... wrong, somehow. It must have been the genestealers' broodmind. Either way, Delray's crew had at least partially survived. No; that was wrong. Everyone aboard was dead, and those people were too far gone to be saved.
“It's another Cuatla,” I said in English. The servo-skull was powered down to conserve energy until we disembarked. Jay and Chrysalis gave me understanding looks, and Jacques's eyes went wide in excitement. He liked killing humans. The Imperials gave us strange looks, but understood that some things were best left private. I sighed and pulled off my mask, checking the large chronometer to my left. We had five minutes until we docked, and then we would kill genestealers while building the Doorframe.
“I've been meaning to ask something of you, Skully.” Oleg took a puff of his lho stick, but thankfully blew his smoke into a vacuum bag. He took one look at the servo-skull to make sure it was powered down before he said anything else. “Why are you fucking a xeno?”
Delray spit out his coffee, sorry, caffeine all over the bench in front of him. Chrysalis could speak Low Gothic, and I knew because she picked it up from me. Oleg didn't know, and she didn't act like she understood. I liked that.
“Well, Oleg, it all started when she replaced princess Cadence, just before she was supposed to marry Shining Armor.” I took a sip from a small flask I kept in the Doorframe's bag. It was more for image than my nerves. “Once Jay and I figured out she was a fraud, we set a plan in motion. The short version is this: Canterlot gets invaded, Jay and the ponies who would form the original inquisitors wrecked most of it fighting changelings, I set myself and a giant munition store on fire to kill Chrysalis, then use her as a shield against the fire.”
“Hence, Burned Man,” Oleg said, waving his fancy cigarette at me. “But, that is neither here nor there, is it?”
“I suppose it isn't,” I conceded. I took another sip as I felt us getting ever closer to the ship. There was a powerful mind aboard, inhuman and devious. It must have been the Broodlord. I doubted now was the time for discussion, so I did my best to avoid connecting with it. “Now, after a while, she was released into my custody. I didn't like letting talent go to waste, so I basically conscripted her into my mercenary band. Our first, and nearly last mission was to a town named Cuatla, home to a small settlement of humans and various other sapient species, and built right above a hive of intelligent, giant scorpions with a taste for rape.
“Naturally, we saved anyone we could, and burned the one we couldn't. I beat the scorpion's leader to death with my bare hands. So, fast forward a few weeks, and we're back in Ponyville, living with our mutual friend, Trixie Lulamoon, who is sadly deceased.” I took a drink in earnest then. “Then, we get a letter from Chrysalis's mom, Karapass. I start freaking out because Chrissy almost killed me when we first met, and her mother was probably out for my blood.”
“Can't imagine that turned out well.” Delray said the first words I'd heard him say in a long while. I liked his accent; he sounded a bit like David Tennant.
“Considering she walked in on us while things were getting a little hot and heavy, it went better than expected.” I let that sit in the air while I probed through their heads a bit. Good jokes require some preparation, so I needed to know what they were thinking.
Perfect.
$%$%$% Amos's POV $%$%$%
I heard Taylor talk, even listened a bit towards the end. It was a neat little tale, nothing really worth mentioning. I've talked to xenophiles before, but never specifically asked them about their reasons for fraternizing outside the species. It is the place of the Emperor and His Holy Inquisition to judge, not mine.
“So, how was it?” Oleg asked, grabbing at least part of the attention of every speaker of Low Gothic on the strider. Even as I brought us in to dock, using Delray's code to open the hangar, I listened.
“Her clit is bioluminescent.” The fuck? Did he mean that? Bioluminescent? Like a creature from a night world? “And it has little claws around it; they're a changeling queen's method of ensuring insemination by gripping anything that, ahem, passes over it.”
“Bullshit.”
Taylor said something in his language, probably to Chrysalis. I knew she was able to speak Low Gothic, but this must have all been for some joke. Or, at least I hope it was. I nudged Delphine arm to get her attention; it was a little too quiet back there for my liking, and I was unable to look back.
“What are they doing?”
“Apparently Taylor was serious.”