More Than She Could Dream Of

by Melon Hunter


Epilogue: Make It Better

        “Pinkie, why are you so keen on going to the library? And right now? It’s barely eleven in the morning!” Surprise exclaimed. The pegasus looked awful: bags under her eyes, her wings fluttering arrhythmically. “Ugh, I thought it would be easier to start having a normal sleep cycle...”

“It’s a surprise!” Pinkie said, giggling at her own joke. Her face fell a little as Surprise merely reacted with a half-smile. “I’m sorry...”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Surprise said, landing beside her and giving her a one-legged hug. “I know these have been a difficult few months...”

Pinkie sighed. “Yeah. I didn’t think this would be so hard,” she admitted.

“I did warn you,” Surprise said quietly.

Pinkie bit her lip in frustration. “I know that...” She frowned. “I mean, you remind me of it every day,” she said forcefully, a thread of animosity woven into her voice.

The pegasus’s eyes widened, and she took a step back, before scowling. “Yeah, I do remind you of it every day! I told you this was a mistake,” she hissed.

“What? And I was just gonna let go of you?” Pinkie retorted. “Let you go forever? What kind of pony would do that?” She shook her head. “I don’t care if you wanted me to be alone; I wanted to stay with you!”

“But that’s exactly it, Pinkie!” Surprise backed down a little, a sad look in her eyes. “Do you know how terrifying it is, to wake up next to the mare you love and think, ‘What if the spell fails today?’” She sniffled. “To keep having nightmares about watching you fade away?” A white foreleg waved away an attempted hug by Pinkie. “That’s what’s wrong here. This isn’t some foal’s tale where you get a happy ending. And you put me here.”

Tears prickled in Pinkie’s eyes. Am I really that selfish? She let out a snort. No, I’m not! I did the right thing! Why won’t she see that? “Well, it’s alright for you!” she snapped. “You would just go away, and find somepony straight away, and have a clean slate. I would be lonely, I would’ve lost you forever, and all my friends would think I was crazy!” She ground a hoof into the dirt in annoyance. “What, you think I don’t care that we might fade away? I did this for you! I didn’t want you to be sad any more, and I never would’ve forgiven myself if I’d let you go.” The earth pony let out a loud sob. “I knew this would be hard. But you don’t have to make it even harder.”

“I...” Surprise stared at the ground, tears in her own eyes. Her wings slumped down. “I try not to.” She bit her lip, then sighed. “I’m just thinking of you, Pinkie. I don’t like having your fate resting on my shoulders. And I’m not sure this is really better than being let go.”

Pinkie nearly fell over her own hooves as her knees went weak. Her eyes prickled with bitter tears. “This is worse than... being nothing at all?” she murmured.

“I didn’t mean... Aw, no, Pinkie...” Surprise pleaded.

“I thought we loved one another,” Pinkie insisted, twisting her mouth.

“Well, we do! We’re still here, aren’t we?” the pegasus said, wrapping her forelegs around her marefriend. “One argument isn’t—”

“Lots of arguments,” Pinkie corrected her.

“...Yeah, lots of arguments, then. It doesn’t mean we don’t love one another,” Surprise reassured her. “But, it’s not like in stories. We’re gonna have rocky patches. I don’t really mean what I said, I just... have a lot pent up. And I guess you do, too.”

Pinkie nodded. “We were so happy at the beginning. I thought it would just last, and that would be that,” she said.

“Heh.” Surprise stroked her mane. “We knew each other barely a week before you bound me, Pinkie. We were right for one another, but we rushed it good and proper.”

“I know.” Pinkie pulled away from her. “I guess I was just silly thinking being in love would solve my problems.”

“Yeah.” The pegasus giggled. “Take it from a former love spirit; love’ll just take your existing problems and compound them, then trample you in the dust. And you’ll still feel like doing it again,” she said with a smile.

Pinkie smiled back at her. “I’m sorry I was so mean, Surprise.”

“Nah, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have set you off,” Surprise said, regarding her with an even expression. “Now, let’s get to the library before we have another argument...”

Pinkie continued leading her through the town, greeting various ponies as she passed. Her heart ached slightly as she saw Surprise shy away from them, still unused to being greeted personally. After a few moments, they reached the great hollow tree, the earth pony reaching up to knock on the door.

        A mauve haze surrounded it and pulled it open, revealing the main chamber of the library. Standing before them was Twilight, surrounded by open books, the tiara of the Element of Magic atop her head. She smiled at them. “Hello, you two!” she said jovially.

        “Hi, Twilight! Or, is it ‘Your High—’” Pinkie was cut off as Twilight shook her head rapidly and rustled her new wings in annoyance.

“No! Not to anypony in this town, and certainly not you, Pinkie,” Twilight asserted. She looked to the pegasus. “And hello, Surprise. Nice to see you again!”

“Yeah...” Surprise rubbed the back of her head, and looked from Pinkie to Twilight and back again. “What exactly’s going on here?” 

Pinkie waved a hoof at one of the tomes on the floor. “You know that spell, right? The one in the spirits book?” she said.

Surprise nodded uncertainly. “The... binding spell?” Pinkie nodded. “Well, yeah, but isn’t that a bit pointless now? I mean, I’m bound already.” She gestured to herself. “You can see me and everything.”

“It’s not pointless at all!” Twilight said with a smile. “Since I completed Star Swirl’s spell, I’ve had a much greater understanding of how to put together incomplete enchantments—and a boost in magical power, to boot. I’ve devised a spell that should be able to remove the link between you and Pinkie.”

“Wh...” The pegasus’s eyes suddenly shot open. “You’re kidding me. This is just some cruel practical joke, right?” She let out a disbelieving laugh.

Pinkie giggled. “We wouldn’t lie to you like that, Surprise!” she said happily. 

“I know, but...” Surprise paused for a moment, mulling over her words. “I... I wouldn’t have to be around you any more.”

Pinkie nodded slowly. “I know.” She looked to Twilight.  “I love you, Surprise, but... I don’t want to have to make you love me any more.” She walked forward and took Surprise’s forehooves in the crooks of her ankles. “That’s why I asked Twilight to give you this chance.”

“‘Make me love you’? What do you mean?” Surprise asked. “I do love you. I told you that five minutes ago.”

“Well, I mean that... you’ve got your life back, but not really,” Pinkie said. When the pegasus gave her a confused frown, she rubbed the side of the head in thought. “I bound you to me because I couldn’t bear letting you go. I didn’t want you to have to be a love spirit forever. But now... you’re not happy, are you?”

Surprise flushed. “I-I... It’s taken some getting used to, Pinkie, but I dunno...” She met Pinkie’s gaze and sighed.

“Look.” Pinkie placed a hoof under Surprise’s chin and gently raised her head until their eyes met. “We’re made for one another. We love one another. I know that. But right now, we’re both burning up, because we have to love one another, for our own sakes.”

“A-and what about after this spell gets cast?” Surprise asked.

“You’ll have your life back,” Twilight said. “Your own body, not a surrogate vessel.” She looked at the couple briefly. “I’ll just head outside for a minute. I don’t want to intrude on you two.” The alicorn walked away into the kitchen, leaving the pair alone.

“Then you can do all the things you missed out on,” Pinkie said. “Making your own friends, making a living... You won’t have to do everything because of me any more.”

Surprise gave a confused snort. “You’re getting rid of me?”

Pinkie shook her head vehemently. “Nonononononono. But this life? It isn’t fair for you. I’ve trapped you like a bird in a cage. Or a butterfly in a jar. Or a draconequus in a quantum-locked stone prison. Or—”

“Okay, I get that!” Surprise said with a small laugh.

“So, everything you’re doing, you’re doing for me. And that’s not right,” Pinkie continued. “I want to let you be your own pony, not just my marefriend.”

The pegasus gaped at her for a second, and then twisted her mouth. “I... I can’t believe you’d do this for me...” she admitted. “You’re really okay with doing this?”

Pinkie walked forward and hugged Surprise tightly. “Yes. I am. We’ve both made love the reason we’re happy, and that’s just made us unhappy. It was...” She took a deep breath and sighed heavily. “It was selfish of me to bind you. ‘If you love something, let it go’, right?”

“R-right...” The pegasus gave a little sniffle. “You’re right. I... I guess I felt the same way. I was just too scared to admit it...” She looked up into Pinkie’s equally tearful eyes. “But what will you do once I’m gone?”

Pinkie stayed silent for a moment. “I’ll find a way to be happy in my own way again.” She paused. “M-maybe that’s something I never realised; loving somepony can make you happy, but you shouldn’t make them the only reason you’re happy. But I’ve done that to you.”

“So... so we take a break,” Surprise said assertively, wiping her eyes. “Go our own ways.”

“For now,” Pinkie said. “And then, someday when we’re happy with ourselves, then maybe we can come back and be happy with one another.” She smiled. “Because we are made for one another, Surprise, and I’ll always love you. But I don’t wanna suffocate you by doing that. You shouldn’t have to feel like you have to make me happy.”

“Yeah.” The two ponies parted, and smiled and nodded at one another. “I think that’ll be for the best.” Surprise trotted to the kitchen. “I think I’m ready,” she said.

Twilight nodded, walking out and levitating up a sheaf of notes. “Okay then.” She looked at Pinkie with an apologetic expression. “Pinkie, would you be able to wait outside? This magic is very powerful and a lengthy procedure, and I don’t want you to get caught in any flare-ups that might happen.”

“Okie dokie.” Pinkie looked at Surprise regretfully. “I guess this is goodbye, then,” she said sadly.

The pegasus walked over and hugged her fiercely. “Just for now, Pinkie.” Her watery purple eyes met Pinkie’s gaze. “And, someday, once we’ve got ourselves worked out, we can come back and try again.” She leaned into Pinkie’s ear. “I promise,” she whispered.

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah. Someday soon, I hope.” She looked at her marefriend one last time. “I love you, Surprise.”

“I love you, too, Pinkie.”

The earth pony trotted to the front door, gave one last lingering look at Surprise, and walked out. She gave a sad sigh as she heard the beginnings of Twilight’s magic behind her.

For a moment, she faltered, wondering if she was making the right decision. But then, she looked around at Ponyville. Everywhere, there were smiling faces and laughter. Ponies of every description, every temperament and profession. In collapsing her world to the one pony who meant the most to her, Pinkie realised she’d neglected so much more around her. Love was wonderful, but it wasn’t the only thing she could rely on to make her happy.

She felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, even as she felt downcast over separating with Surprise. They were made for one another, but they’d nearly driven themselves to ruin over Pinkie’s hasty decision. There was still love there, but for the first time in her life, Pinkie realised she had so much more she could make of her life than simply findng another one to share it with. Right now, there was more out there for her than Surprise, and more for Surprise than there was her.

More than they could dream of.