//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: What If? // by BronyNeumo //------------------------------// Chapter 2 He had been gone for years. Many of those who remembered him from his days on the farm had either left, or were getting on in years. Only a few of the older ponies of Ponyville had been around to meet him during his tenure, and out of those ponies, even fewer remembered him. Even as so few had known him, many had let his memory slip from their minds, only to be replaced by the various events they had experienced in the many years since he had left. For most, he had become unimportant. For years, only the elderly matriarch of the Apple Family had anticipated, and feared, the possibility of his return. Her grandchildren, however, had not shared these concerns with her, so when time finally caught up with her, her anxiety left alongside her. Nopony else had even expected for him to return, least of all his children. For this reason, Applejack was left nearly speechless. She had been but a young filly when she had last seen him; she hadn't even received her cutie mark when he left. Despite the years that had passed and her belief that she would never see him again, however, Applejack had nonetheless remembered him and recalled almost perfectly what he looked like. As she stared out the open front door at the stallion's face, there could be no doubt to her who she was looking at. She blinked several times, her mouth opening and closing as if to say something, but no words came out. She stared at him and he returned her gaze, neither speaking. He looked worn and tired. There were bags visible underneath his golden eyes, but they still shone with a glimmer of life. His blonde mane was flecked with strands of grey, and his warm brown coat seemed faded from age. His body seemed weathered by time as well, but the sinewy muscles of his hind legs still displayed the effects of his many seasons bucking trees on the farm. He was visibly getting on in years, but from his appearance, his old strength had not left him. His mouth had curled into a half smile, and he stood solidly on the porch, his swishing pale blonde tail the only display of his slight impatience. "May I come in?" Applejack, her voice still silent, backed up further into the hallway to allow her father admittance over the threshold. He stepped into the house, walking forward through the entryway and into the kitchen. Rainbow Dash stood there, blinking in confusion at both her marefriend and a pony she had never met before; a pony she could swear Applejack had just called 'Dad'. For several moments, all three ponies stood about the room, both mares staring blankly at the lone stallion. The silence was oppressive. After several moments, the tall stallion turned from his daughter to get a better look at the other pony in the room. The cyan pegasus mare's magenta eyes blinked incredulously back up at him. Finally, the stallion spoke, shattering the silence with his low voice. "I've never met you before, might I ask your name." "I'm Rainbow Dash." She shook her head in confusion. This wasn't making any sense to her. If this stallion really was Applejack's father, why had he just shown up at random? She couldn't keep her eyes off of him. It was as if he didn't belong; he had seemingly shown up out of the blue, and she had to know why. "Are you… are you really…" "Shut up." Both ponies turned in surprise to see Applejack, her confused stare gone and replaced by an angry glare. "Shut up. Both o' ya." Taking a deep breath, she turned to face her father. "Ah thought you were dead." "I've been gone for so long; I've thought the same thing many times." Her father hung his head, letting his gaze fall so that he was no longer looking into her eyes. "What do ya think you're doin', showin' up here unannounced?" "I guess I just wanted to see my kids again." "After all these years?" Applejack glared daggers at him, advancing upon the taller stallion with a few heavy steps. "Maybe ya shouldn't have left in the first place! What were ya thinkin'! Suddenly, her father, who had seemed so strong and resolute just moments before, fell to the floor. He shook his head, and Applejack noticed for the first time that the shimmer in his eyes had been the light glinting off of unseen tears. It shocked her. He seemed to instantly age several years, having slumped down onto his knees and seemingly burying his face into his fore legs. Applejack cringed and backed off at the sight. "Please… please don't. I've… I've made so many mistakes in my life." Applejack stared at the whimpering stallion in incredulity. She spoke softly, feeling tears begin to well up in her own eyes. "Ya left. Ya left us and Ah thought ya were dead." She turned away from him, wiping a hoof over her eyes but unable to stem the tide. She walked from the kitchen into the living room, keeping her back towards her father so that he wouldn't see her emotions. "That… that was my biggest one." The stallion shakily brought himself back up to his hooves and wavered as he watched his daughter recede into the other room. Wearily, he began to follow, leaving a bewildered Rainbow Dash to trot hastily into the room. "I've never made a bigger mistake than the one I made that night." Applejack sighed as she sat down heavily on the couch as Rainbow Dash crossed the room to take a seat next to her. She looked back up to see the pleading golden eyes of her father, staring back at her from the center of the room, where he sat. "Ya don't need ta remind me. Ah remember perfectly clear." "I'm sorry. I know I've been gone for years and it probably doesn't mean anything, but I am. I never should have left. I was stupid, selfish, drunk, and I've hated myself every day for it." He closed his eyes, as if fighting back more tears, before hanging his head in further shame. "It's taken me this long just to work up the courage to come back. I've been utterly sick of myself for so long that I couldn't even bear to think sometimes. Sometimes I just felt like giving up and dying, but I always just wanted to see my children again. Just one last time." Applejack shook her head, the light of anger gone from her eyes. "Ya know what, Dad? When ya first left, when Ah was really little, Ah thought ya were comin' back. Ah thought ya'd only be gone fer a couple days. Well, after you were gone fer a lot longer, Ah gave up hope. Ah thought you were dead and never comin' back. Ah never thought Ah'd see ya again and Ah can't say Ah'm happy ta see ya now. But Ah always wondered one thing. Why? Why did ya leave? Tell me that." "Applejack? Do you remember the story of how your mother and I met?" Applejack sat silently for a moment, contemplating the much older stallion as he stared back at her patiently. She turned her eyes to the ceiling, trying to remember, before it suddenly dawned on her. "Ah do. Ah remember ya tellin' us 'bout how ya ran away from home and came ta work on the farm when ya needed money, then ya met mama here." "Your mother was the best thing that ever happened to me. Before I met her, I was lost and alone. There had been so much wrong with me before I came here that first day. I hated my old family, and I never really thought I found a place where I belonged. But when… but when I met your mother… I just… I just felt like there was finally… finally a place for me." ====================================================================================== The young, spry, brown stallion could already feel the beads of sweat rolling off his brow. His golden-blonde mane was already flecked with drops of perspiration as he labored in the direct sunlight of the unseasonably warm autumn day. Exhaling a deep breath, he planted his hooves into the soft ground for traction and prepared to give his assigned task another attempt. Lifting himself onto his fore legs for a short moment, the stallion mustered up all the strength he could into his rear legs and lunged backward. He struck the sturdy trunk of the tree behind him with a glancing blow, landing his rear hooves back on the ground and turning to watch a disappointingly small number of apples fall from the leafy branches. "No, no, no, Cider! Yer doin' it all wrong!" From off to the side, a young amber-coated mare with a bouncing red mane approached the stallion. Despite his advantage in size, the hard-working farm mare was able to easily muscle him out of her way, lining herself up with the same tree. In one fluid motion, she delivered a swift kick to the bark, causing a veritable cascade of apples to plummet from the leafy expanse. "And that's how it's done!" The mare grinned in satisfaction. "Wow." The stallion could only stare at the sight, his gaze falling more upon her hindquarters than anywhere else. "Ya see? It's all about precision. Ya can't stand too far away or you'll stretch yer legs, and ya can't stand too close or you'll never get enough muscle. Ya gotta hit it square on ta get all the apples." "Gee. Thanks ma'am, I'll get it next time!" "Aw, shucks, Cider. Ya'll don't have ta call me "ma'am". Just call me Sweet Apple!" "Ok, ma-, er… I mean, Sweet Apple. I guess I'll get the hang of things around here eventually. Thank you so much again for getting me this job and a place to stay!" "It ain't no problem, Cider. We needed help this applebuckin' season anyway, what with Pa not doin' too well and ma and Ah havin' ta hold up th' fort ourselves. Ah'm just glad we got a willin' worker ta come along!" "Still, it really means a lot to me; especially since I have no money and no other place to live." "It's no trouble. Ah'm sorry 'bout what happened between you and yer family, but yer welcome ta stay here as long as ya like! Heck, ya'll might even become a regular part of the Apple Family soon enough! We'll have ta change yer name ta 'Apple Cider'!" The smiling mare winked at him before trotting off to their next assigned tree. The stallion stayed behind momentarily, if only to watch her from behind as she went. "Yeah… I think I'd like that a lot." ===================================================================================== The older, less-virile brown stallion had to wipe a tear from his eye as he finished recounting his tale to the two mares. "I never knew anypony who I cared about so much until I met your mother. She was kind to me when nopony else was, and she was willing to just sit down and talk. I stayed on working here just because I wanted to be with her no matter what. Eventually, I realized that I loved her. The day I asked for her hoof in marriage – and she said yes – was the happiest day in my life. At least, it was until you and Macintosh came along." Applejack's gaze had softened as she stared at her father from across the room. She didn't know why, but she was beginning to understand him. At least, she thought she was. She knew what was coming next in his story. It was an event no one in the Apple Family had any proclivity to discussing, but it was ever-present on their minds all the same. "And then… and then Applebloom came along, didn't she?" "Yes. At first… at first we were excited to be having a third foal. I remember you and Macintosh were excited as well. But… but her third pregnancy… it… it was always a troubled one. I… I didn't really think much of all the extra doctor's visits at the time… but… but then… then… that day… that day came…" ==================================================================================== Sweet Apple had always been an excitable, energetic, hard-working mare. Even from her days of fillyhood she had loved to run around and help out in any way on the farm. Even into her adult life her energy hadn't seemed to drain. The birth of two children had done nothing to dampen her spirits, but her third child had exacted a terrible toll on her. Those who had known Sweet Apple in her younger days would not recognize the pale, thinning, weakened pony who stared up from the depths of a hospital bed, and even if they did, they would have seen her as but a shell of her former self. Her eyes, however, her happy, caring, green eyes, still carried the spark of life that had endeared her to family and friends alike for years. It was those sparkling green eyes that now stared forlornly up at the stallion she was proud to call her husband. "Please, Cider. Ah want ya to listen ta me. Please listen ta me." The brown stallion could only nod his acknowledgement. "Ah'm dyin', honey. Ah know it, and ya know it, too." "No… No. You… you can't be. You just can't be. You're… you're going to get better." "No Ah won't, Cider. Ah'm not gonna get better. Ah need ya to do somethin' fer me when Ah'm gone." "No. You can't leave. You just can't… I… I love you…. I love you too much." The mare closed her eyes momentarily. To her husband's distress, it seemed a struggle for her to open them again. "P...p-please… C-Cider… p-please… take… take care… of… our children… please…" A machine, which had stood by her bedside for the duration of the several hours since the operation that had been required to remove her third foal, had kept up a slow, steady rate of beeping to announce to all the room the mare's dwindling heartbeat. In the moment that followed, the machine seemed to go haywire. The sounds went from steady and slow to erratic and unnervingly fast-paced. Sweet Apple drew in a sharp breath as the beeping intensified, her eyelids flying open in response to the sudden increase of blood flow to her severely weakened body. Apple Cider recoiled in horror. "NURSE! DOCTOR! SOMEPONY! HELP! HELP!" In an instant, several ponies clad in white coats had burst into the room. From another room nearby, the crying of a newborn foal could be heard, the noise only added to the sudden pandemonium of the hospital ward as nurse and doctor ponies clamored and crowded around the deteriorating mare. Apple Cider found himself pushed out of the way, but even over the pandemonium, he could hear a solitary, weakened, voice. "C… Cider… Ah… Ah love you." It was over before he even had time to register it. The machine emitted a piercing continuous beep. It sounded like a scream to him. It was punctuated by the sounds of various medical ponies trying in vain to revive their patient – his wife. It didn't make sense. He couldn't understand. In a flash, he was running from the room. He shook his head back and forth as he ran, his eyes closed. He couldn't see where he was going and he didn't care. All he knew was he wanted to get as far away as possible. He couldn't face the room. He couldn't face himself. He couldn't face the garish nightmare of a reality his life had become. =================================================================================== "I didn't know what to do. It was just too much for me. I started drinking, I started staying out late at nights, but most of all, I started avoiding everypony else. I couldn't stop thinking about her, about how the best thing in my life was ripped away from me, just like that. I could hardly bear to see Macintosh and you because you reminded me too much of her. I never even wanted to see your sister because… because… because I blamed her." Apple Cider fell silent. His head down again. For a while, the pervasive silence reigned supreme. None of the three ponies said anything as they all thought quietly to themselves. Rainbow Dash was fidgeting in her seat, but Applejack didn't notice. Her focus was still on her father. After several moments, he looked up again. Their eyes met for a moment, and he took a deep breath and began to speak again. "I saw her as the reason for your mother's death. So I blamed her and I spent every evening drinking until I couldn't feel the pain anymore. Eventually… it just got to be too much. So I left. I left and I could never bring myself to come back. I'm not proud of it, but that's what happened. I've spent so many years hating my life for what it has become, but now… now I finally realize… I finally realize it's all my fault. My life is what it is because I made it that way. I never should have left. I messed up my own life because I was being stupid. And in doing so… in doing so I never did what she told me to. She told me to take care of you; to be a father, and I've failed her." "Is that why you're back? Because ya want ta apologize?" "I'm back because I've finally decided that I can't live alone anymore. I can't live in denial of my own actions. I want… I want nothing more than to make things right, but I know I can't. I want to make things right, but most of all… most of all I wanted to see you kids again. I know I can never be a proper father for you, but I want you to know how much I wish I could've been. I guess I've been as close to dead as possible these past few years, but life just keeps going on; and now… now I… I don't want to live it alone." Applejack had to reach up with a fore hoof to wipe her eyes once again. Slowly, she got up from her spot and advance towards the kneeling figure of her father. "D-Dad? Do… do ya… do ya really mean that?" The stallion made as if to respond, but was quickly cut off by the abrupt opening and slamming shut of a door. All three ponies turned to the source of the noise as a new voice sounded through the farmhouse. "AJ? Have ya seen mah extra hammer anywh-" Big Macintosh had his train of thought suddenly and violently derailed as he peered around the corner into the living room. Much like his sister, he almost instantly recognized the strange other stallion in his Living Room, but out of sheer shock and incredulity he remained rooted to the floor, utterly speechless. Time seem to stand still as nopony said a word, but the cogs of Big Macintosh's mind were turning rapidly. In another instant, his jaw, which had fallen slack from shock, was drawn up into a snarl and his brow furled as he locked gazes with a stallion he hadn't seen in many years. "You." For much of his life, especially after his father had left, Big Macintosh had accumulated responsibility for many of the particularly strenuous chores that came with living on a farm. The combination of having this daunting workload thrust upon him from a young age and the passage of many years of such labor had toned his body to what could be considered by most to be prime physical condition for any stallion. As a result, his imposing figure now advanced upon the crouching form of his father, who he quite literally towered over, despite the elder stallion having engaged in much the same workload over his lifetime. Apple Cider, however, in the years since his departure, had fallen somewhat out of shape, and consequently found himself shrinking back from the approach of his own son. The red stallion had anger in his eyes, a fact that in and of itself unsettled the elder. Both stallions were subsequently surprised when an interposer came between them, halting Big Mac's advance and forcing his hard-set gaze to falter. Applejack stepped calmly between her brother and father, moving forward to face Big Macintosh as he glanced down at her. She glared back up to meet his gaze. "Big Mac. Kitchen. Now." Shooting a furtive glance between his sister and their unexpected visitor, Big Macintosh sighed before walking backwards around the corner into the kitchen, Applejack right on his tail. They disappeared around the corner, leaving Apple Cider alone with Rainbow Dash. She fidgeted. Her eyes flitted about the room, seemingly doing everything in their power to avoid direct eye contact with the strange other pony. Finally, without saying a word, Rainbow Dash got up and trotted into the kitchen after her marefriend. "AJ? AJ, I…" "Not now, Dash. Could ya… could ya please just go upstairs and wait fer me? Ah've got some things ta sort through." Applejack looked at her marefriend with pleading eyes, giving her a wan half-smile when she turned and trotted up the stairs. Applejack turned back to face her brother and frowned again. "Big Mac, Ah can explain." "No need. Ah've seen everything Ah need to." "You haven't heard his side o' the story." "Don't need to. Ah remember what he did well and clear enough." "He wants ta make up fer it." "He can never make up for what he did." "How do you know?" "You were too young, Applejack." "Too young fer what?" "Too young to remember what he did. He would come home late at night and say terrible things ta Granny Smith. And he hated Applebloom. Ah remember how he called her 'that thing' and said he wanted ta 'get rid o' her'. Ah ain't lettin' him near her now." "Ponies can change, Mac." "AJ. Ah don't want him in this house." "He's just tryin' ta get his life back together." "Ah don't want him in this house." "This is mah house too." "Ah'm older." "Not by much." "AJ, Ah don't wanna fight with ya. He can't stay here. 'Specially not with Applebloom around. He'll be horrible to her." "Ah think he's changed, Mac." "He's lyin' to you." "Consarnit, Mac. Ah'm the Element o' Honesty. Ah think Ah can tell when somepony's lyin' ta me." Applejack glared at him, stamping her hoof in defiance. "Ah think ya just want ta believe so much that ya might get yer daddy back that yer willin' to believe anyhtin' he tells ya." Big Macintosh stood up to his full height, staring down at his sister, whose mouth had fallen agape. "Remember what Granny Smith told us? She always said he would come back. She said she was a liar. We never believed her. Well, ya know what? Ah believe her now, and Ah'm not lettin' him stay here." "He just wants ta be with his family again." "Ah'm not lettin' him stay here." "He needs somepony ta help him get his life back in order." "Ah'm not lettin' him stay here." Big Macintosh tilted his head up and closed his eyes, signaling that he had made up his mind. Applejack could feel her anger boiling. She would not give up so easily. "Fine. Then Ah'm goin' with him!" Big Macintosh faltered. He hadn't been expecting this. "Now, AJ, don't go…" "If he can't stay here, then Ah'm goin' with him. He needs somepony ta help him put his life in order." "We need you here on the farm." "There's not too much work in the summer, and Ah'll be back before harvest season." Big Macintosh sighed in defeat, wiping the sweat off his brow with a hoof. "Ah can't stop ya, can Ah?" "Nope." Applejack flicked her mane defiantly. "Fine. Do what ya have to. One question though." Big Macintosh gestured up at the ceiling, causing Applejack to look up as well. "How are ya gonna tell her?" Before receiving an answer, Big Macintosh pushed his way out of the kitchen, stopping at the entrance of the living room to glare at its sole occupant. "You have one night - on the couch. You leave in the mornin'." Snorting his anger, he turned and headed for the front door, slamming it behind him as he went back outside. Applejack sighed as she gazed up at the ceiling. Slowly, she made her way to the foot of the stairs, glancing up into the darkness at the top in apprehension. She let out a deep breath before beginning the climb. Breaking this news was not going to be easy.